21
Jump Street
Movie Quotes
(Page 2)
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[in the Chemistry class]Ms. Griggs: Time for pop quiz nose.
Jenko: A what?
Ms. Griggs: Oh, I'm sorry. What? Is your name Brad?
Jenko: Brad. Yes, ma'am.
[Griggs looks at Jenko and how muscular he is]
Ms. Griggs: Wow! Look at you, Brad! Big. Uh...what is a...what is a pop quiz nose? It's a quiz and the first person who finishes gets a ten dollar gift certificate to quiz nose.
Zach: You look really old. Were you held back or something?
Jenko: No. You're super young. Were you held forward?
[Jenko realizes what he just said doesn't make sense]
Jenko: I went to school in France, so and they do like...they do like two extra years of middle school there, it's so lame.
[Zach speaks in French]
Zach: [subtitled] French, the language of love.
Jenko: Oh, that's cool, man. It's nice to meet you also.
[in drama class, Schmidt is auditioning for part of Peter Pan by singing, which he does very badly]
Mr. Gordon: Okay. Um...maybe try one cooler, and faster, and louder, and better, and less insecure, and more just cool.
[at that moment Schmidt's phone beeps with text message from the dealer telling him to meet him in 5 mins at the Yearbook office]
Schmidt: Um...okay. Uh...yep, those are great notes. I'm just gonna...I'm gonna run outside. I'm gonna utilize those and I'm gonna come back.
[in Chemistry class, Jenko not understanding the questions on the pop quiz quickly guesses the answers and goes up the teacher with his paper]
Ms. Griggs: Wow! You're fast. Not like that. Just let me check you out. I mean, check out your chest. Check out your test. I mean, I'm gonna grade your quiz.
[at that moment Schmidt texts Jenko to tell him that he's meet him in the hallway]
Jenko: Um...can...uh...can I go take a dump?
Ms. Griggs: Yeah, okay. That's cool. Oh, uh...we have this hurry back rule. So if you're not back in six minutes I have to send you to the principle. Rules are rules. So I guess this will have to be a quickie.
[as Schmidt and Jenko turn up at the Yearbook office they see Eric Molson is the dealer]
Eric Molson: You guys, huh?
Schmidt: Um...that was a total mix up, what happened earlier.
Jenko: Yeah.
Schmidt: He feels awful.
Jenko: Totally. I was really nervous.
Schmidt: You're a...dealer? You're the dealer guy?
Jenko: Is that you?
Eric Molson: Yep.
Schmidt: So do you make this stuff or...
Eric Molson: What, do I look like a fucking scientist? No, I just sell it.
Jenko: He just sells it, man.
Schmidt: No, I'm sorry. I'm...I'm just...
Eric Molson: How many you guys want? Twenty bucks a pops.
Schmidt: Like one each. One pop each of drugs.
[as he's about to give the the drug]
Eric Molson: Hey, you guys aren't narcs, are you?
[Schmidt and Jenko laugh nervously]
Jenko: Woh!
Schmidt: We ain't narcs!
Jenko: Woh! Woh!
Schmidt: Dude, come on!
Jenko: Maybe you're the narc!
Eric Molson: Hey, you know who calls people narcs? Narcs, Narc.
Schmidt: First of all, your argument kind of just collapsed on itself because if you call us narcs...
Jenko: Mmhmm.
Schmidt: If narcs call people narcs...
Jenko: Yeah, cause it..
Schmidt: And you called us narcs, then that's kind of
Jenko: You just said that.
Eric Molson: Okay, I'm on top if this shit! You guys want to do this or not? Jesus!
Schmidt: Yes! Yes!
Jenko: Yes! No problem.
[Eric holds out the bag of drugs]
Eric Molson: Alright, take it so I know you're cool.
Jenko: Um...I'm sorry. What? We were gonna take it home.
Schmidt: I gotta go back to class is the only thing.
Jenko: I was thinking that I was gonna go home, maybe turn down the lights, gettin' snuggly, get a little weird.
Schmidt: I was gonna take it and then masturbate later.
Eric Molson: Yeah, I'm not asking. Take it now or get the fuck out. I gotta finish the girls volleyball page by lunch. Yeah?
[reluctantly Jenko and Schmidt take the drug from Eric]
Schmidt: Yeah. No, it's all good.
Jenko: I love doing drugs at school.
Schmidt: Just uh...take the drugs right here. Put it in our mouths and uh...
Eric Molson: There you go, that's it.
[Jenko and Schmidt take the drugs out of the plastic bag and put it in their mouth]
Jenko: What's that? Barbecue flavor?
Eric Molson: Have fun.
[after taking the drug, Schmidt and Jenko run to the bathroom and try to vomit, but they can't]
Schmidt: We gotta throw up, man!
Jenko: I can't!
Schmidt: We gotta throw up! That kid, Billy, died! We gotta throw up! Just think of something gross! Think of something gross!
Jenko: You fucking think of something!
Schmidt: Okay! Uh...uh...your grandmother's vagina! Um...there's a dick going into it!
Jenko: What the fuck?!
Schmidt: I don't know! I'm just trying! I'm trying!
Jenko: Fuck! Come on, man!
Schmidt: I'm just trying!
Jenko: Let's just...let's just finger each others mouths.
Schmidt: No!
Jenko: Yeah.
Schmidt: No, you're not fingering my mouth!
Jenko: Do you wanna die? Do you wanna die?
Schmidt: Okay! Fine!
Jenko: Let's go. Come on! Come on! Come on!
[they each place their finger in each others mouths, trying to make each other vomit]
Jenko: What are you doing? Are you trying to find my G-spot? Just...just stick it in!
Schmidt: I don't know! I've never done this before!
Just stick it in! Go!
[the janitor walks in the toilet and sees them, shakes his head and walks out]
[after failing to make each other vomit but putting their finger in each others mouths]
Schmidt: Is it me?
Jenko: I'm sorry! I just can't sometimes.
[after failing to vomit the drugs out, they run back to class, the gym teacher stops them in the hallway]
Mr. Walters: You got a pass for running down the hallways like a couple of dingle-lings? Pass, in your hand. Hello?
[he takes the piece of paper out of Jenko's hand]
Mr. Walters: Oh, damn! You guys are late. I'm gonna have to take you to the principles office.
Jenko: No. No!
Schmidt: No! No, man.
Jenko: Come on. Please!
Schmidt: Please. Sorry.
[looking at Jenko]
Mr. Walters: You have exceptional muscle tone there, young man. When did you go through puberty? Like at seven or something?
[he laughs]
Mr. Walters: You look like you're in your mid twenties for crying out loud.
[pointing at Jenko]
Mr. Walters: McQuade, huh? Doug McQuade! I read your file. You gotta lot of something special going on there, young man.
[Schmidt holds up his hand to interrupt, but Walters quickly knocks his hand down]
Mr. Walters: What the hell was that? God dammit, son! Don't ever raise your hand to me like that again! Alright? I consider that a threat!
Schmidt: I was just saying that I'm Doug. I'm Doug McQuade.
[he points to the hall pass in Walters hand]
Schmidt: That's the...that's Brad. I'm...
[Walters knocks Schmidt's hand away]
Schmidt: That's Brad. I'm...
Mr. Walters: You're the new kid who's all county in track?
Schmidt: Yes. I'm...I'm Doug McQuade. The track star and this is Brad.
[suddenly Jenko starts laughing]
Schmidt: The science prodigy.
[Schmidt also begins to laugh, marking the beginning of them starting to trip out on the drug]
[as Schmidt and Jenko are going through phase two of their drug tripping, they start hallucinating]
Mr. Walters: Here's the deal. My track team is full of physical incapable rejects. I mean, if I wasn't the coach, I'd be laughing my ass off at how spastic they are.
[as Schmidt looks at Walters he sees Walters face has turned into a cartoon cat]
Mr. Walters: But I am the coach, so, I need you. I need me some Doug McQuade. You understand? I need you to run anchor in the four by four hundred at today's track meet. You do that, and I'll sign this pass.
[as Jenko is tripping he starts blowing his mouth and hears a horn blow whenever he blows]
Mr. Walters: Don't blow on me, son.
[Schmidt replies to Walters slowly]
Schmidt: I...have...to...train?
[as they continue tripping, Schmidt sees Walters head turn into an ice cream cone]
Mr. Walters: Guys, don't make me take you to the principles office. Do we have a deal?
Schmidt: Yes.
Mr. Walters: Nice
[Schmidt sees Walters face, which is now an ice cream cone melting, so he sticks his tongue out as if he wants to lick it]
Mr. Walters: I don't like that. Put your tongue back in your mouth.
[he puts Schmidt's tongue back in his mouth]
Mr. Walters: Put your tongue in your mouth and close it!
[Walters looks at Jenko who's now also got his tongue sticking out of his mouth]
Mr. Walters: What are you doing? Stop it! Actually, that's not bad.
[he signs Jenko's hall pass]
Mr. Walters: Alright, here we go.
[as he goes to give the pass to Jenko, he looks at them both]
Mr. Walters: Are you guys on drugs?
[Jenko and Schmidt quickly shake their heads]
[back in his chemistry class, as Jenko is still tripping on the drug, we see he's talking quickly and writing the board as the class watch him]
Jenko: One particle of unobtanium has a nuclear reaction with the flux capacitor, carry the two, changing its atomic isotope into a radioactive spider.
[he turns to look at the class, we see that what he's been writing on the boards is continues lines of the number 4 in all shapes and sizes]
Jenko: Fuck you science!
[after Schmidt goes through his crazy phase of the drug and he messes up his track meet by flinging his relay baton across the finish line and then using it as a pretend penis]
Eric Molson: Oh, speak of the devil! Dude, that was awesome how you sabotaged that track team. Organizes sports is so fascist, it makes me sick!
Schmidt: Uh...it's just what I do.
Eric Molson: Okay. Shit, man. See you around, right?
[as the Eric and his gang walks off, Jenko's is pissed off that Schmidt is now the cool one]
Jenko: I don't get this school.
Schmidt: That was awesome!
[back at 21 Jump Street, Schmidt and Jenko have made a chart for Captain Dickson with all the eco kid dealers photo's and names]
Schmidt: Okay, so we stayed up all night making this. It's awesome, you're really gonna like it. All yarn work was done by Jenko.
Jenko: Okay, Captain. Look, the dealers are the popular kids, but they're not normal popular. They're these crunchy granola dudes that have convinced everyone that they're cool. But they're not cool. It's backwards and unnatural and it's gotta be stopped.
Schmidt: The dealer, Eric Molson, Alpha dog, sick chicks, killer steeze, if Aids run this year. He's getting into Berkeley, early admish, and he totally gets me.
Captain Dickson: Who put this together? Are you autistic?
Schmidt: It is artistic, sir.
[both Schmidt and Jenko start talking at the same time trying to explain their chart]
Schmidt: Because the thing is the yarn actually indicates all the different people. Like this guy he got drugs for this person...
Jenko: Um...um...we're compiling a list of suspicious types at school who uses it. This kid here was actually talking to a tree this morning...
Captain Dickson: Cut the bullshit! I wanna know who's the supplier.
[Schmidt points to a picture with a silhouette of a face and giant question mark in the middle of it]
Schmidt: We don't know. That's why there's a question mark on his face. That's not the way his face looks, that's just a question mark.
Captain Dickson: Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier! Simple!
[the girls make fun of Schmidt and Jenko after their presentation to the Captain]
Fugazy: I think you guys really cracked the whole case. Great job! You guys are on fire. So proud.
Schmidt: Like you could do any better?
Fugazy: We just brought down a group of wanna-be thugs, stripping down cars in the Garfield High metal shop.
Jr. Jr.: Mean while, you two were standing, finger poppin' each others assholes.
Schmidt: We're not finger poppin' each others assholes. What we're doing, is getting shit done.
Jenko: Yeah. As a matter of fact I'm about to infiltrate a super high-tech drug manufacturing ring in the chemistry classroom.
[Jenko goes the chemistry classroom thinking he's infiltrated a manufacturing drug ring]
Jenko: What are you all doing? How did you get a key in here?
Zach: Ms. Griggs gave us one. So we could work, tutor, deal Bakugan.
Delroy: No, it's just a card game. It's like a hybrid card game. You see! They open up
Jenko: You're not doing anything illegal?
Delroy: No.
Zach: What are you doing in here?
Jenko: I'm here...to study.
Zach: Good. You could use it, you're pretty far behind, so.
Jenko: You're behind. I'm ahead. I know everything.
Zach: Really? Uh...what's a covalent bond?
Jenko: You know, fuck you, man! I don't need to tell you!
Zach: I wasn't trying to be rude. Sorry. I...I just...I don't think you know everything.
Jenko: I know everything.
Zach: Okay.
Jenko: What kind of bullshit do they say about a cov...coviolent bond in this school?
Zach: They say it's uh...when two atoms share both their electrons, it um...helps them to stick together. I...I could help you out, if you want, to tutor you for the test.
[referring to the little notes with phone numbers on them]
Jenko: What are you doing with all those phones anyway?
Zach: Uh...I crack and jailbreak kids phones, uh...trying to save for college. You know I switch their wireless carriers, get them restricted apps.
Jenko: Can you listen into phone calls and stuff?
Zach: No. No, I can't...I can't install a spyware to remotely monitor calls or anything that the mic picks up. I can't do that at all.
[Zack smiles while he's saying all this]
Jenko: What, you can't do it?
[Zack smiles again]
Zach: No, I can't.
[Jenko turns to Zack's friends]
Jenko: Is he being sarcastic?
Delroy: I don't know.
Jenko: So you can?
[Zack nods his head]
Schmidt: Liking comic books is popular, environmental awareness, being tolerant. If I was just born ten years later, I would have been the coolest person ever.
Jenko: I know. It's bullshit. You know what? I totally know the cause. Glee. Fuck you Glee!
Schmidt: Man, I gotta say it. This is kind of awesome. I might become popular. I...I might be in with the popular kids. If I could do something wildly irresponsible to earn their trust.
Jenko: You saying we should throw a party?
Schmidt: I'll invite Molly, and then Molly will invite Eric. And that would be the quickest way for me to bro down with them.
Jenko: Wouldn't it be better if we both infiltrated the cool kids group?
Schmidt: I think it would be better if you get in with the nerdy kids and see what's going on over there. That would be the best thing for the case.
Jenko: I guess that makes sense.
[Schmidt makes a call to Molly]
Schmidt: Hey, is this uh...is this Molly?
Molly Tracey: Speaking.
Schmidt: Hey! It's uh...it's Schmidt.
[realizes he's used his real name and quickly tries to cover it up]
Schmidt: Schmoug...uh...it's Doug Schm...McQuade.
Molly Tracey: Oh! Hey, man! Uh...so weird that you're calling me. I pretty much text, except for when a random old relative calls.
Schmidt: I'm just calling because we're co-starring in this play together, and...
[just at that moment the phone beeps and Schmidt's mom comes on the line]
Annie Schmidt: Hello? Hello?
Schmidt: [shouting] Mom! Get off the phone!
Annie Schmidt: Oh, sorry! Hi, Doug. My teen son.
Schmidt: [shouting] Mom!
Annie Schmidt: I love you, honey. Dougy. Doug...Douglas McQuade.
Schmidt: [shouting] Mom! Shush! Stop!
[after Schmidt's mom gets off the line]
Schmidt: Sorry. My mom's such a dick. She's just like, smothers me with affection. It makes me feel like I'm five years old.
Molly Tracey: Wow! You're a...a sharer. I dig that. Well, I'm eighteen years old and my mom still packs my lunch for me everyday.
Schmidt: There was this one month where she bought me forty three stuffed animals. The doctor thought I was gonna spontaneously grow a vagina. I didn't though, just to be clear.
[Molly laughs]
Molly Tracey: Yeah, because you already had one.
Schmidt: Exactly. I already had a... And you don't need two vagina's. You just don't.
Molly Tracey: Although, you could use one as a coin purse.
[Schmidt laughs]
Molly Tracey: I never got any stuffed animals growing up. Oh, wait! Actually, that's not true. I did. My dad gave me a stuffed puppy the day he bailed on us.
[Schmidt goes quite not knowing what to say]
Molly Tracey: I'm just fucking with you.
Schmidt: That was a weird joke. I thought your dad had bailed on your family.
Molly Tracey: No, he did walk out on us though.
Schmidt: Oh.
Molly Tracey: He didn't even leave me a stuffed puppy. Just broken dreams.
[Jenko walks into the room as Schmidt is on the phone to Molly and tries wrestling him]
Schmidt: Oh, man. I guess to that I would say, well, uh...that there are some good guys out there, and I wouldn't let, you know, one experience take your uh...memory...
Schmidt: Oh, my God!
Molly Tracey: Are you getting choked up? I'm sorry of I made you upset.
Schmidt: No. It's just, you know, I don't like when guys are mean to girls.
Molly Tracey: Yeah. Well, thanks.
Schmidt: Normal transition here. Um...actually, I'm having a party next weekend. You should come. You and Eric and Juario or whatever.
Molly Tracey: Do you mind if I just put like a posting on facebook?
[Jenko starts hitting Schmidt with a pillow]
Schmidt: Okay! Yeah! Yeah! Um...I should...I should call you back. Well, alright. I'll see you. I'll see you. You're a great person! Bye bye. Bye.
Molly Tracey: Bye.
[as Molly is about to end the call she hears Schmidt yell]
Schmidt: What the fuck are you doing?
[Schmidt and Jenko are in Dickson's office]
Captain Dickson: Are you all throwin' a party?
Jenko: What?
Captain Dickson: There's rumors, in the Twittersphere. And if any of my officers are caught giving alcohol to minors, they'll find themself in prison with a snorkel duct taped to their mouth, and me shittin' down that snorkel!
Schmidt: That's extremely vivid, thank you.
[as Schmidt and Jenko Schmidt and Jenko say goodbye to Schmidt's parents]
Jenko: We love you! Enjoy the vineyard.
Annie Schmidt: Yeah, I can't believe you guys did this for us. Bye!
[as his parents leave, Schmidt turns to Jenko]
Schmidt: We love you? Dude, why are you saying I love you to my mom?
Jenko: I'm in character, shut up.
Schmidt: That's weird.
Jenko: I don't know, dude. We're kind of like brothers.
[as they get Schmidt's parents house prepared for the party]
Schmidt: Wait. How are we gonna buy alcohol?
Jenko: I don't have a fake ID.
[they both laugh and high five each other and buy a ton of alcohol]
Schmidt: How are we gonna get drugs for the party?
Jenko: Oh, no!
[they both laugh, then they break into evidence lockup at the police station]
[after breaking into evidence lockup]
Jenko: We got a pound of coke.
Schmidt: We just wanna show 'em a good time not ruin their fucking lives!
Jenko: Pound of marijuana?
Schmidt: Best party ever!
Jenko: Booyah!
[after Eric turns up to the party and Jenko steals his phone and gives it to the chem nerds to bug the phone]
Jenko: Okay, boys! Come on! We did it! We did it. We can do this. Let's go! Let's go as fast as you possibly can.
Zach: Taking out the SIM card. Taking out the SIM card.
Jenko: Come on. CSI the shit out of this thing.
[Jenko notices Zach is looking drunk]
Jenko: Are you drunk?
Zach: No!
Jenko: Have you even been drunk before?
Zach: No, but um...
[he grabs the bottle of alcohol from Delroy's hand]
Jenko: Give me this!
Delroy: What?
Zach: Can we get some bitches up in here, cause it's just boys right now.
Jenko: No! You can't get any bitches up here!
[as a bunch of teenagers from another school crash his party]
Schmidt: Hey, big player. I don't know who you are.
Schmidt: I'm worried about it.
Scott: Why?
Schmidt: Because you're in my party right now, dude. This is my temple. This is where I come to find peace to all. You comin' in here like an emotional bull in a china shop, metaphorically knockin' over vases, messing with my crew. And I'm like, what, Scott? What, Scott? What? What? What? What, Scott?
Scott: It's that kind of party?
Schmidt: Yeah, dude! As a matter of fact, it's gettin' hot in here, huh?
Scott: Oh, no. It's gettin' real.
Schmidt: Yeah, it's like seven strangers livin' in one house true story!
Scott: You want real world?
Schmidt: Yeah! Let's do it, man. Come on!
Scott: Here's real world.
[suddenly Scott punches Schmidt in the stomach, Jenko hears this and comes and joins the fight and him and Schmidt eventually win the fight]
[after Schmidt has won the fight with Scott, everybody at the party is cheers, suddenly everyone notices the Schmidt has been stabbed in the shoulder]
Schmidt: Oh, shit! When did I get stabbed?
[everyone just looks at him in shock]
Schmidt: That's awesome!
[everyone at the party cheers and continues partying]
[after Schmidt's parents return home and bust up the party, everybody runs away with Eric and Schmidt running in the same direction]
Eric Molson: Dude, that was so great! I swear, best party I've been to in years!
Schmidt: Dude, I'm doin' crazy stuff like that, like all the time, man.
Eric Molson: I bet you are, dude. So angst right now!
Schmidt: Hey, man!
Eric Molson: Dude, I like you, man. How do you feel about making a little extra money?
Schmidt: Whatever it is, I'm in.
Eric Molson: Here's the deal. I can't sell all this shit on my own, but I only bring in people I like. Okay, you do good, maybe we bring you in on what we're doing. I'll introduce you to my hook up. How does that sound?
Schmidt: Cool with me.
Eric Molson: My, man!
[referring to the rude graffiti drawn on Schmidt's baby photo's at the party]
Annie Schmidt: 'I love dick!' You think that's funny? 'Wonder Years Douche'!
[she holds the photo in front of Schmidt and Jenko]
Annie Schmidt: What kind of a sick animal draws an ejaculating penis into an eight year olds mouth?!
Jenko: It could be, like airplane blowing up.
Annie Schmidt: You think I don't know that's a dick and balls! I know all about dick and balls! I partied with Robert Downey Jr. before he got sober, when he was really fucked up and a lot of fun! You know what? From now on you're gonna do some chores. You're gonna wash the laundry, you're gonna fold it, you're gonna do dishes, you're gonna mow the lawn...
Jenko: Dude, I have a surprise for you. Last night at the party, I took Eric's phone and I had Zack put this monitoring device in it. So we're gonna get to hear every single thing that little prick is up to.
Schmidt: Dude, I don't know if that was a good idea.
Jenko: What?
Schmidt: What of you'd gotten found out?
Jenko: But it worked. This like the smartest move I've ever pulled. So, I'm sorry. What are you gettin' mad at me for?
Schmidt: I'm not getting mad at you. I'm glad. You have something to do.
Jenko: Good.
[as Schmidt gets more popular with Eric, pretending to be selling the drugs while in fact he's been taking them to Capt. Dickson, he also gets more friendly with Molly, flirt texting each other]
Eric Molson: Are you texting Molly?
Schmidt: Uh...what? I don't uh...Molly. Uh...maybe. Is that...?
Eric Molson: Woh! It's cool, man. Come on! I'm not like, some like, fifties Letterman who pins a girl. I mean, yeah, we blow each other sometimes. But it's not a thing. I just like, I don't know. I don't believe in possession, chowfeel.
Schmidt: Chowfeel? Chow definitely feel.
[while Schmidt is hanging out with the eco kids, Jenko is with the chem nerds and uses the mic on Eric's cellphone to eavesdrop, Schmidt and Molly walk into the room where Eric's phone is charging and Jenko overhears their conversation]
Schmidt: Are you uh...are you excited about the play?
Molly Tracey: Yes!
Schmidt: Yeah, you were just right in there with the statement.
Molly Tracey: Yes!
Schmidt: No hesitation.
Molly Tracey: I'm very excited.
Schmidt: Yeah.
Molly Tracey: Does that make me a super nerd?
Schmidt: No, not at all. We get to act together.
[as he's listening into Schmidt and Molly's conversation]
Jenko: What a vagina?! He has no chance with her.
Molly Tracey: You're on the prom committee.
Schmidt: Mmhmm.
Molly Tracey: Do you think it's gonna be fun?
[as Jenko and the nerds listen in on their conversation]
Jenko: Did she just bring up prom on her own?
Delroy: She did! She just brought up prom.
Jenko: What's she doing?
[back to Schmidt and Molly]
Schmidt: I think it's gonna be awesome.
Zach: Promy's are dong.
Jenko: Alright, anyone who says they don't care about prom, actually secretly does.
Delroy: Who's gonna take us to the prom? There's no one that wants to go to the prom with us.
Jenko: Come on! Picture it! You pull up in a white stallion of a limo, you got fine-ass honey's with you, you dress to the nines with your best buds! Doves fly out behind you, slow motion.
Zach: Doves? Why doves? Cause doves make you look like a bad-ass, that's why!
Molly Tracey: I am pretty skeptical, but maybe if someone asked me, I would go.
Schmidt: But are...isn't...aren't you and Eric... Wouldn't you and Eric go together?
Molly Tracey: Not that I know of.
[Schmidt has a flashback to high school in 2005 when he asked a girl to the prom and got rejected]
Schmidt: Uh...would you...
[listening in to their conversation]
Jenko: He's gonna choke. He always chokes. He's gonna choke, wait for it.
[back to Schmidt and Molly]
Schmidt: So...would...so would...would you maybe...
[suddenly Schmidt starts to choke]
Molly Tracey: Oh, my God! Are you okay?
Schmidt: I am!
[Jenko laughs as he hears Schmidt choke]
Jenko: That is the actual sound of choking!
Schmidt: I was wondering if you uh...would you uh...maybe wanna go to uh...with me? To prom? Would you wanna go with me? Will you go with me to prom?
Molly Tracey: Yes. I would love to go to prom with you.
[listening in to them]
Zach: What? She said yes!
Delroy: Wow!
Jenko: Good for you, Doug.
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Total
Quotes: 116
