[in the Chemistry class] Ms. Griggs:
Time for pop quiz nose. Jenko: A
what? Ms. Griggs: Oh,
I'm sorry. What? Is your name Brad? Jenko: Brad.
Yes, ma'am. [Griggs looks at Jenko
and how muscular he is] Ms. Griggs: Wow!
Look at you, Brad! Big. Uh...what is a...what is a pop quiz nose? It's
a quiz and the first person who finishes gets a ten dollar gift
certificate to quiz nose.
look really old. Were you held back or something? Jenko: No.
You're super young. Were you held forward? [Jenko realizes what he
just said doesn't make sense] Jenko: I
went to school in France, so and they do like...they do like two extra
years of middle school there, it's so lame. [Zach speaks in French] Zach:[subtitled] French,
the language of love. Jenko: Oh,
that's cool, man. It's nice to meet you also.
[in drama class, Schmidt
is auditioning for part of Peter Pan by singing, which he does very
badly] Mr. Gordon: Okay.
Um...maybe try one cooler, and faster, and louder, and better, and less
insecure, and more just cool. [at that moment
Schmidt's phone beeps with text message from the dealer telling him to
meet him in 5 mins at the Yearbook office] Schmidt: Um...okay.
Uh...yep, those are great notes. I'm just gonna...I'm gonna run
outside. I'm gonna utilize those and I'm gonna come back.
[in Chemistry class,
Jenko not understanding the questions on the pop quiz quickly guesses
the answers and goes up the teacher with his paper] Ms. Griggs: Wow!
You're fast. Not like that. Just let me check you out. I mean, check
out your chest. Check out your test. I mean, I'm gonna grade your quiz. [at that moment Schmidt
texts Jenko to tell him that he's meet him in the hallway] Jenko: Um...can...uh...can
I go take a dump? Ms. Griggs: Yeah,
okay. That's cool. Oh, uh...we have this hurry back rule. So if you're
not back in six minutes I have to send you to the principle. Rules are
rules. So I guess this will have to be a quickie.
[as Schmidt and Jenko
turn up at the Yearbook office they see Eric Molson is the dealer] Eric Molson: You
guys, huh? Schmidt: Um...that
was a total mix up, what happened earlier. Jenko: Yeah. Schmidt: He
feels awful. Jenko: Totally.
I was really nervous. Schmidt: You're
a...dealer? You're the dealer guy? Jenko: Is
that you? Eric Molson: Yep. Schmidt: So
do you make this stuff or... Eric Molson: What,
do I look like a fucking scientist? No, I just sell it. Jenko: He
just sells it, man. Schmidt: No,
I'm sorry. I'm...I'm just... Eric Molson: How
many you guys want? Twenty bucks a pops. Schmidt: Like
one each. One pop each of drugs.
[as he's about to give
the the drug] Eric Molson: Hey,
you guys aren't narcs, are you? [Schmidt and Jenko laugh
nervously] Jenko: Woh! Schmidt: We
ain't narcs! Jenko: Woh!
Woh! Schmidt: Dude,
come on! Jenko: Maybe
you're the narc! Eric Molson: Hey,
you know who calls people narcs? Narcs, Narc. Schmidt: First
of all, your argument kind of just collapsed on itself because if you
call us narcs... Jenko: Mmhmm. Schmidt: If
narcs call people narcs... Jenko: Yeah,
cause it.. Schmidt: And
you called us narcs, then that's kind of Jenko: You
just said that. Eric Molson: Okay,
I'm on top if this shit! You guys want to do this or not? Jesus! Schmidt: Yes!
Yes! Jenko: Yes!
[Eric holds out the bag
of drugs] Eric Molson: Alright,
take it so I know you're cool. Jenko: Um...I'm
sorry. What? We were gonna take it home. Schmidt: I
gotta go back to class is the only thing. Jenko: I
was thinking that I was gonna go home, maybe turn down the lights,
gettin' snuggly, get a little weird. Schmidt: I
was gonna take it and then masturbate later. Eric Molson: Yeah,
I'm not asking. Take it now or get the fuck out. I gotta finish the
girls volleyball page by lunch. Yeah? [reluctantly Jenko and
Schmidt take the drug from Eric] Schmidt: Yeah.
No, it's all good. Jenko: I
love doing drugs at school. Schmidt: Just
uh...take the drugs right here. Put it in our mouths and uh... Eric Molson: There
you go, that's it. [Jenko and Schmidt take
the drugs out of the plastic bag and put it in their mouth] Jenko: What's
that? Barbecue flavor? Eric Molson: Have
[after taking the drug,
Schmidt and Jenko run to the bathroom and try to vomit, but they can't] Schmidt: We
gotta throw up, man! Jenko: I
can't! Schmidt: We
gotta throw up! That kid, Billy, died! We gotta throw up! Just think of
something gross! Think of something gross! Jenko: You
fucking think of something! Schmidt: Okay!
Uh...uh...your grandmother's vagina! Um...there's a dick going into it! Jenko: What
the fuck?! Schmidt: I
don't know! I'm just trying! I'm trying! Jenko: Fuck!
Come on, man! Schmidt: I'm
just trying! Jenko: Let's
just...let's just finger each others mouths. Schmidt: No! Jenko: Yeah. Schmidt: No,
you're not fingering my mouth! Jenko: Do
you wanna die? Do you wanna die? Schmidt: Okay!
Fine! Jenko: Let's
go. Come on! Come on! Come on! [they each place their
finger in each others mouths, trying to make each other vomit] Jenko: What
are you doing? Are you trying to find my G-spot? Just...just stick it
in! Schmidt: I
don't know! I've never done this before!
Just stick it in! Go! [the janitor walks in
the toilet and sees them, shakes his head and walks out]
[after failing to make
each other vomit but putting their finger in each others mouths] Schmidt: Is
it me? Jenko: I'm
sorry! I just can't sometimes.
[after failing to vomit
the drugs out, they run back to class, the gym teacher stops them in
the hallway] Mr. Walters:
You got a pass for running down the hallways like a couple of
dingle-lings? Pass, in your hand. Hello? [he takes the piece of
paper out of Jenko's hand] Mr. Walters:
Oh, damn! You guys are late. I'm gonna have to take you to the
principles office. Jenko:
No. No! Schmidt:
No! No, man. Jenko:
Come on. Please! Schmidt: Please.
Sorry. [looking at Jenko] Mr. Walters:
You have exceptional muscle tone there, young man. When did you go
through puberty? Like at seven or something? [he laughs] Mr. Walters: You
look like you're in your mid twenties for crying out loud.
[pointing at Jenko] Mr. Walters: McQuade,
huh? Doug McQuade! I read your file. You gotta lot of something special
going on there, young man. [Schmidt holds up his
hand to interrupt, but Walters quickly knocks his hand down] Mr. Walters: What
the hell was that? God dammit, son! Don't ever raise your hand to me
like that again! Alright? I consider that a threat! Schmidt: I
was just saying that I'm Doug. I'm Doug McQuade. [he points to the hall
pass in Walters hand] Schmidt: That's
the...that's Brad. I'm... [Walters knocks
Schmidt's hand away] Schmidt: That's
Brad. I'm... Mr. Walters: You're
the new kid who's all county in track? Schmidt: Yes.
I'm...I'm Doug McQuade. The track star and this is Brad. [suddenly Jenko starts
laughing] Schmidt: The
science prodigy. [Schmidt also begins to
laugh, marking the beginning of them starting to trip out on the drug]
[as Schmidt and Jenko
are going through phase two of their drug tripping, they start
hallucinating] Mr. Walters: Here's
the deal. My track team is full of physical incapable rejects. I mean,
if I wasn't the coach, I'd be laughing my ass off at how spastic they
are. [as Schmidt looks at
Walters he sees Walters face has turned into a cartoon cat] Mr. Walters: But
I am the coach, so, I need you. I need me some Doug McQuade. You
understand? I need you to run anchor in the four by four hundred at
today's track meet. You do that, and I'll sign this pass. [as Jenko is tripping he
starts blowing his mouth and hears a horn blow whenever he blows] Mr. Walters: Don't
blow on me, son. [Schmidt replies to
Walters slowly] Schmidt: I...have...to...train?
[as they continue
tripping, Schmidt sees Walters head turn into an ice cream cone] Mr. Walters: Guys,
don't make me take you to the principles office. Do we have a deal? Schmidt: Yes. Mr. Walters: Nice [Schmidt sees Walters
face, which is now an ice cream cone melting, so he sticks his tongue
out as if he wants to lick it] Mr. Walters: I
don't like that. Put your tongue back in your mouth. [he puts Schmidt's
tongue back in his mouth] Mr. Walters: Put
your tongue in your mouth and close it! [Walters looks at Jenko
who's now also got his tongue sticking out of his mouth] Mr. Walters: What
are you doing? Stop it! Actually, that's not bad. [he signs Jenko's hall
pass] Mr. Walters: Alright,
here we go. [as he goes to give the
pass to Jenko, he looks at them both] Mr. Walters: Are
you guys on drugs? [Jenko and Schmidt
quickly shake their heads]
[back in his chemistry
class, as Jenko is still tripping on the drug, we see he's
talking quickly and writing the board as the class watch him] Jenko: One
unobtanium has a nuclear reaction with the flux capacitor, carry the
two, changing its atomic isotope into a radioactive spider. [he turns to look at the
class, we see that what he's been writing on the boards is continues
lines of the number 4 in all shapes and sizes] Jenko: Fuck
[after Schmidt goes
through his crazy phase of the drug and he messes up his track meet by
flinging his relay baton across the finish line and then using it as a
pretend penis] Eric Molson: Oh,
speak of the devil! Dude, that was awesome how you sabotaged that track
team. Organizes sports is so fascist, it makes me sick! Schmidt: Uh...it's
just what I do. Eric Molson: Okay.
Shit, man. See you around, right? [as the Eric and his
gang walks off, Jenko's is pissed off that Schmidt is now the cool one] Jenko: I
don't get this school. Schmidt: That
[back at 21 Jump Street,
Schmidt and Jenko have made a chart for Captain Dickson with
all the eco kid dealers photo's and names] Schmidt: Okay,
so we stayed up all night making this. It's awesome, you're really
gonna like it. All yarn work was done by Jenko. Jenko: Okay,
Captain. Look, the dealers are the popular kids, but they're not normal
popular. They're these crunchy granola dudes that have convinced
everyone that they're cool. But they're not cool. It's backwards and
unnatural and it's gotta be stopped. Schmidt: The
dealer, Eric Molson, Alpha dog, sick chicks, killer steeze, if Aids run
this year. He's getting into Berkeley, early admish, and he totally
gets me. Captain Dickson: Who
put this together? Are you autistic? Schmidt: It
is artistic, sir. [both Schmidt and Jenko
start talking at the same time trying to explain their chart] Schmidt: Because
the thing is the yarn actually indicates all the different people. Like
this guy he got drugs for this person... Jenko: Um...um...we're
compiling a list of suspicious types at school who uses it. This kid
here was actually talking to a tree this morning... Captain Dickson: Cut
the bullshit! I wanna know who's the supplier. [Schmidt points to a
picture with a silhouette of a face and giant question mark in the
middle of it] Schmidt: We
don't know. That's why there's a question mark on his face. That's not
the way his face looks, that's just a question mark. Captain Dickson: Infiltrate
the dealers, find the supplier! Simple!
[the girls make fun of
Schmidt and Jenko after their presentation to the Captain] Fugazy: I
think you guys really cracked the whole case. Great job! You guys are
on fire. So proud. Schmidt: Like
you could do any better? Fugazy: We
just brought down a group of wanna-be thugs, stripping down cars in the
Garfield High metal shop. Jr. Jr.:
Mean while, you two were standing, finger poppin' each others assholes. Schmidt: We're
not finger poppin' each others assholes. What we're doing, is getting
shit done. Jenko: Yeah.
As a matter of fact I'm about to infiltrate a super high-tech drug
manufacturing ring in the chemistry classroom.
[Jenko goes the
chemistry classroom thinking he's infiltrated a manufacturing drug ring] Jenko: What
are you all doing? How did you get a key in here? Zach: Ms.
Griggs gave us one. So we could work, tutor, deal Bakugan.
You dealing drugs? Let me see 'em? You dealing drugs? Let me see it? Delroy: No,
it's just a card game. It's like a hybrid card game. You see! They open
up Jenko: You're
not doing anything illegal? Delroy: No. Zach: What
are you doing in here? Jenko: I'm
here...to study. Zach: Good.
You could use it, you're pretty far behind, so. Jenko: You're
behind. I'm ahead. I know everything. Zach: Really?
Uh...what's a covalent bond? Jenko: You
know, fuck you, man! I don't need to tell you! Zach: I
wasn't trying to be rude. Sorry. I...I just...I don't think you know
everything. Jenko: I
know everything. Zach: Okay.
kind of bullshit do they say about a cov...coviolent bond in this
school? Zach: They
say it's uh...when two atoms share both their electrons, it
um...helps them to stick together. I...I could help you out, if you
want, to tutor you for the test. [referring to the little
notes with phone numbers on them] Jenko: What
are you doing with all those phones anyway? Zach: Uh...I
crack and jailbreak kids phones, uh...trying to save for college. You
know I switch their wireless carriers, get them restricted apps. Jenko: Can
you listen into phone calls and stuff? Zach: No.
No, I can't...I can't install a spyware to remotely monitor calls or
anything that the mic picks up. I can't do that at all. [Zack smiles while he's
saying all this] Jenko: What,
you can't do it? [Zack smiles again] Zach: No, I
can't. [Jenko turns to Zack's
friends] Jenko: Is
he being sarcastic? Delroy: I
don't know. Jenko: So
you can? [Zack nods his head]
comic books is popular, environmental awareness, being tolerant. If I
was just born ten years later, I would have been the coolest person
ever. Jenko: I
know. It's bullshit. You know what? I totally know the cause. Glee.
Fuck you Glee! Schmidt: Man,
I gotta say it. This is kind of awesome. I might become popular. I...I
might be in with the popular kids. If I could do something wildly
irresponsible to earn their trust. Jenko: You
saying we should throw a party? Schmidt: I'll
invite Molly, and then Molly will invite Eric. And that would be the
quickest way for me to bro down with them. Jenko: Wouldn't
it be better if we both infiltrated the cool kids group? Schmidt: I
think it would be better if you get in with the nerdy kids and see
what's going on over there. That would be the best thing for the case. Jenko: I
guess that makes sense.
[Schmidt makes a call to
Molly] Schmidt: Hey,
is this uh...is this Molly? Molly Tracey: Speaking. Schmidt: Hey!
It's uh...it's Schmidt. [realizes he's used his
real name and quickly tries to cover it up] Schmidt: Schmoug...uh...it's
Doug Schm...McQuade. Molly Tracey: Oh!
Hey, man! Uh...so weird that you're calling me. I pretty much text,
except for when a random old relative calls. Schmidt: I'm
just calling because we're co-starring in this play together, and... [just at that moment the
phone beeps and Schmidt's mom comes on the line] Annie Schmidt:
Hello? Hello? Schmidt: [shouting] Mom! Get
off the phone! Annie Schmidt:
Oh, sorry! Hi, Doug. My teen son. Schmidt: [shouting] Mom! Annie Schmidt:
I love you, honey. Dougy. Doug...Douglas McQuade. Schmidt: [shouting] Mom!
[after Schmidt's mom
gets off the line] Schmidt: Sorry.
My mom's such a dick. She's just like, smothers me with affection. It
makes me feel like I'm five years old. Molly Tracey: Wow!
You're a...a sharer. I dig that. Well, I'm eighteen years old and my
still packs my lunch for me everyday. Schmidt: There
was this one month where she bought me forty three stuffed animals. The
doctor thought I was gonna spontaneously grow a vagina. I didn't
though, just to be clear. [Molly laughs] Molly Tracey: Yeah,
because you already had one. Schmidt: Exactly.
I already had a... And you don't need two vagina's. You just don't. Molly Tracey: Although,
you could use one as a coin purse. [Schmidt laughs] Molly Tracey: I
never got any stuffed animals growing up. Oh, wait! Actually, that's
not true. I did. My dad gave me a stuffed puppy the day he bailed on us. [Schmidt goes quite not
knowing what to say] Molly Tracey: I'm
just fucking with you. Schmidt: That
was a weird joke. I thought your dad had bailed on your family. Molly Tracey: No,
he did walk out on us though. Schmidt: Oh. Molly Tracey: He
didn't even leave me a stuffed puppy. Just broken dreams.
[Jenko walks into the
room as Schmidt is on the phone to Molly and tries wrestling him] Schmidt: Oh,
man. I guess to that I would say, well, uh...that there are some good
guys out there, and I wouldn't let, you know, one experience take your
[as Jenko hits Schmidt,
Molly hears Schmidt shout] Schmidt: Oh,
my God! Molly Tracey: Are
you getting choked up? I'm sorry of I made you upset. Schmidt: No.
It's just, you know, I don't like when guys are mean to girls. Molly Tracey: Yeah.
Well, thanks. Schmidt: Normal
transition here. Um...actually, I'm having a party next weekend. You
should come. You and Eric and Juario or whatever. Molly Tracey: Do
you mind if I just put like a posting on facebook? [Jenko starts hitting
Schmidt with a pillow] Schmidt: Okay!
Yeah! Yeah! Um...I should...I should call you back. Well, alright. I'll
see you. I'll see you. You're a great person! Bye bye. Bye. Molly Tracey: Bye. [as Molly is about to
end the call she hears Schmidt yell] Schmidt: What
the fuck are you doing?
[Schmidt and Jenko are
in Dickson's office] Captain Dickson: Are
you all throwin' a party? Jenko: What? Captain Dickson: There's
rumors, in the Twittersphere. And if any of my officers are caught
giving alcohol to minors, they'll find themself in prison with a
snorkel duct taped to their mouth, and me shittin' down that snorkel! Schmidt: That's
extremely vivid, thank you.
[as Schmidt and Jenko
Schmidt and Jenko say goodbye to Schmidt's parents] Jenko: We
love you! Enjoy the vineyard. Annie Schmidt: Yeah,
I can't believe you guys did this for us. Bye! [as his parents leave,
Schmidt turns to Jenko] Schmidt: We
love you? Dude, why are you saying I love you to my mom? Jenko: I'm
in character, shut up. Schmidt: That's
weird. Jenko: I
don't know, dude. We're kind of like brothers.
[as they get Schmidt's
parents house prepared for the party] Schmidt: Wait.
How are we gonna buy alcohol? Jenko: I
don't have a fake ID. [they both laugh and
high five each other and buy a ton of alcohol]
are we gonna get drugs for the party? Jenko: Oh,
no! [they both laugh, then
they break into evidence lockup at the police
[after breaking into
evidence lockup] Jenko: We
got a pound of coke. Schmidt: We
just wanna show 'em a good time not ruin their fucking lives! Jenko: Pound
of marijuana? Schmidt: Best
party ever! Jenko: Booyah!
[after Eric turns up to
the party and Jenko steals his phone and gives it to the chem nerds to
bug the phone] Jenko: Okay,
boys! Come on! We did it! We did it. We can do this. Let's go! Let's go
as fast as you possibly can. Zach: Taking
out the SIM card. Taking out the SIM card. Jenko: Come
on. CSI the shit out of this thing. [Jenko notices Zach is
looking drunk] Jenko: Are
you drunk? Zach: No! Jenko: Have
you even been drunk before? Zach:
No, but um... [he grabs the bottle of
alcohol from Delroy's hand] Jenko: Give
me this! Delroy: What? Zach: Can
we get some bitches up in here, cause it's just boys right now. Jenko: No!
You can't get any bitches up here!
[as a bunch of teenagers
from another school crash his party] Schmidt: Hey,
big player. I don't know who you are.
worry about who I am. Schmidt:
I'm worried about it. Scott: Why? Schmidt: Because
you're in my party right now, dude. This is my temple. This is
where I come to find peace to all. You comin' in here like an emotional
bull in a china shop, metaphorically knockin' over vases, messing with
my crew. And I'm like, what, Scott? What, Scott? What? What? What?
What, Scott? Scott: It's
that kind of party? Schmidt:
Yeah, dude! As a matter of fact, it's gettin' hot in here, huh? Scott: Oh,
no. It's gettin' real. Schmidt: Yeah,
it's like seven strangers livin' in one house true story! Scott: You
want real world? Schmidt:
Yeah! Let's do it, man. Come on! Scott: Here's
real world. [suddenly Scott punches
Schmidt in the stomach, Jenko hears this and comes and joins the fight
and him and Schmidt eventually win the fight]
[after Schmidt has won
the fight with Scott, everybody at the party is
cheers, suddenly everyone notices the Schmidt has been stabbed
in the shoulder] Schmidt: Oh,
shit! When did I get stabbed? [everyone just looks at
him in shock] Schmidt: That's
awesome! [everyone at the party
cheers and continues partying]
[after Schmidt's parents
return home and bust up the party, everybody runs away with
Eric and Schmidt running in the same direction] Eric Molson: Dude,
that was so great! I swear, best party I've been to in years! Schmidt: Dude,
I'm doin' crazy stuff like that, like all the time, man. Eric Molson: I
bet you are, dude. So angst right now! Schmidt: Hey,
man! Eric Molson: Dude,
I like you, man. How do you feel about making a little extra money? Schmidt: Whatever
it is, I'm in. Eric Molson: Here's
the deal. I can't sell all this shit on my own, but I only bring in
people I like. Okay, you do good, maybe we bring you in on what we're
doing. I'll introduce you to my hook up. How does that sound? Schmidt: Cool
with me. Eric Molson: My,
[referring to the rude
graffiti drawn on Schmidt's baby photo's at the party] Annie Schmidt: 'I
love dick!' You think that's funny? 'Wonder Years Douche'! [she holds the photo in
front of Schmidt and Jenko] Annie Schmidt: What
kind of a sick animal draws an ejaculating penis into an eight year
olds mouth?! Jenko: It
could be, like airplane blowing up. Annie Schmidt: You
think I don't know that's a dick and balls! I know all about dick and
balls! I partied with Robert Downey Jr. before he got sober, when he
was really fucked up and a lot of fun! You know what? From now on
you're gonna do some chores. You're gonna wash the laundry, you're
gonna fold it, you're gonna do dishes, you're gonna mow the lawn...
I have a surprise for you. Last night at the party, I took Eric's phone
and I had Zack put this monitoring device in it. So we're gonna get to
hear every single thing that little prick is up to. Schmidt: Dude,
I don't know if that was a good idea. Jenko: What? Schmidt: What
of you'd gotten found out? Jenko: But
it worked. This like the smartest move I've ever pulled. So, I'm sorry.
What are you gettin' mad at me for? Schmidt: I'm
not getting mad at you. I'm glad. You have something to do. Jenko: Good.
[as Schmidt gets more
popular with Eric, pretending to be selling the drugs while in fact
he's been taking them to Capt. Dickson, he also gets more friendly with
Molly, flirt texting each other] Eric Molson: Are
you texting Molly? Schmidt: Uh...what?
I don't uh...Molly. Uh...maybe. Is that...? Eric Molson: Woh!
It's cool, man. Come on! I'm not like, some like, fifties Letterman who
pins a girl. I mean, yeah, we blow each other sometimes. But it's not a
thing. I just like, I don't know. I don't believe in possession,
chowfeel. Schmidt: Chowfeel?
Chow definitely feel.
Schmidt is hanging out with the eco kids, Jenko is with the
nerds and uses the mic on Eric's cellphone to
and Molly walk into the room where Eric's phone is charging and Jenko
overhears their conversation] Schmidt: Are
you uh...are you excited about the play? Molly Tracey: Yes! Schmidt: Yeah,
you were just right in there with the statement. Molly Tracey: Yes! Schmidt: No
hesitation. Molly Tracey: I'm
very excited. Schmidt: Yeah. Molly Tracey: Does
that make me a super nerd? Schmidt: No,
not at all. We get to act together. [as he's listening into
Schmidt and Molly's conversation] Jenko: What
a vagina?! He has no chance with her.
Molly Tracey: You're
on the prom committee. Schmidt: Mmhmm. Molly Tracey: Do
you think it's gonna be fun? [as Jenko and the nerds
listen in on their conversation] Jenko: Did
she just bring up prom on her own? Delroy: She
did! She just brought up prom. Jenko: What's
she doing? [back to Schmidt and
Molly] Schmidt: I
think it's gonna be awesome.
are dong. Jenko: Alright,
anyone who says they don't care about prom, actually secretly does. Delroy: Who's
gonna take us to the prom? There's no one that wants to go to the prom
with us. Jenko: Come
on! Picture it! You pull up in a white stallion of a limo, you got
fine-ass honey's with you, you dress to the nines with your best buds!
Doves fly out behind you, slow motion. Zach: Doves?
Why doves? Cause doves make you look like a bad-ass, that's why!
Molly Tracey: I
am pretty skeptical, but maybe if someone asked me, I would go. Schmidt: But
are...isn't...aren't you and Eric... Wouldn't you and Eric go together? Molly Tracey: Not
that I know of. [Schmidt has a flashback
to high school in 2005 when he asked a girl to the prom and got
rejected] Schmidt: Uh...would
you... [listening in to their
conversation] Jenko: He's
gonna choke. He always chokes. He's gonna choke, wait for it. [back to Schmidt and
Molly] Schmidt: So...would...so
would...would you maybe... [suddenly Schmidt starts
to choke] Molly Tracey: Oh,
my God! Are you okay? Schmidt: I
am! [Jenko laughs as he
hears Schmidt choke] Jenko: That
is the actual sound of choking! Schmidt: I
was wondering if you uh...would you uh...maybe wanna go to uh...with
me? To prom? Would you wanna go with me? Will you go with me to prom? Molly Tracey: Yes.
I would love to go to prom with you. [listening in to them] Zach: What?
She said yes! Delroy: Wow! Jenko: Good
for you, Doug.