Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach, Ilfenesh Hadera, Jon Bass, Priyanka Chopra, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, David Hasselhoff, Pamela Anderson

Action comedy directed by Seth Gordon, based on the television series of the same name which follows devoted lifeguard, Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson), as he butts heads with a brash new recruit, Matt Brody (Zac Efron). Together, they uncover a local criminal plot that threatens the future of the Bay.


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Mitch Buchannon: Welcome to Baywatch. Our team is the elite of the elite. We’re the heart and soul of this very beach. We protect when other people don’t want to protect, and we go above and beyond.


[referring to the sand statue that Pete is making of Mitch]
Mitch Buchannon: Come on, Pete.  Make my pants a little bigger, and don’t cover up my front bump.
Pete: You got it. Huge dick.
Mitch Buchannon: Big dick.


[as Mitch is rescuing a woman from a fire on a boat]
Woman: If you want me, you can have me.
Mitch Buchannon: Some other time.
[he throws her overboard]


Mitch Buchannon: Hey, One Direction. Are you here for the qualifier?
Matt Brody: I’m Matt Brody, I don’t have to try out. I’ve got two gold medals.
Mitch Buchannon: Hey.
Stephanie Holden: Matt Brody.
Mitch Buchannon: Matt Brody. Yes. We still don’t..
Mitch and Stephanie: Don’t give a fuck.


Captain Thorpe: [to Mitch] We’re staring into the abyss here, the city council’s already cut our funding. It’s up to us to restore the Baywatch brand.
Matt Brody: I’m Matt Brody, ready for duty.
Summer Quinn: Did you just, uh, look at my boobs?
Matt Brody: I…
Summer Quinn: You should look at my face.
Matt Brody: I’m trying, but it’s so close to your boobs.


C.J. Parker: What is it that you think we do here?
Matt Brody: Prevent people from getting sun burnt and occasionally stop them from drowning.


[swimming towards a woman who is screaming for help]
Woman: Help me!
Matt Brody: Ma’am, everything’s okay.
[as he gets close to the woman she punches him]
Matt Brody: Stop it! I can’t save you if you’re being a dick!
[she punches him again]


Mitch Buchannon:This is the guy you think is a good PR opportunity for us. He’s reckless.
Captain Thorpe: With two gold medals. How many gold medals do you have? Probably zero.


Matt Brody: Look, I get it. You’re big, sasquatch. I’m fast.
[Mitch suddenly grunts at Matt, Matt yelps and takes a step back in fear]
Matt Brody: Shit.
Mitch Buchannon: I didn’t touch you.
Matt Brody: You suck.
[losing balance Matt falls back into the pool behind him]


Victoria Leeds: [to Mitch] Some people are up to no good.


[referring to Victoria]
Mitch Buchannon: Drugs, murder, dead body on our beach and it all started once she took over.


Mitch Buchannon: We got a dead body on our beach.
Matt Brody: That’s not our job.


Mitch Buchannon: We’re going to have to do what Baywatch does best. The truth is one of you will probably die.
Ronnie: Yeah. What? No.


Matt Brody: Am I the only who thinks this is clearly a job for the police?


[to Matt and Mitch]
Sgt. Ellerbee: Thank you, blue eyed demon. You got one job, make sure swimming happy white people don’t drown.


Mitch Buchannon: My gut says there’s some bad shit going on over there, and my balls say we need to check it out.
Matt Brody: An my balls say…
[in a high pitched voice]
Matt Brody: “Let’s just take it easy, right here.”
Mitch Buchannon: Why do your balls sound like three year-old girls?
[still in a high pitched voice]
Matt Brody: I don’t know, man. that’s just how they talk, but they’re wise.


[referring to CJ]
Summer Quinn: Why does she always look like she’s running slow-mo?
Ronnie: You see it too? She’s the reason I believe in God.


Sgt. Ellerbee: You turned the canals into the goddamn X-Games.
Matt Brody: Yeah, that’s because we were in lifeguard pursuit.
Sgt. Ellerbee: There’s no fucking such thing as lifeguard pursuit! Even if you were police, what you did would still be totally illegal.
Mitch Buchannon: Okay, well, I mean it’s a good thing we’re not police then.


Sgt. Ellerbee: How do I explain this so that you people understand?
Matt Brody: “You people?” “You people?”
Mitch Buchannon: Oh, you don’t get to say that. You’re just tanned.
Sgt. Ellerbee: Right on.
Mitch Buchannon: Come on, brother.


Mitch Buchannon: You’re going night-night.


Mitch Buchannon: Ready to do this?
Matt Brody: Hell, yeah.
[as they both take off their trousers, we see Matt wearing a small swimming trunk which has the USA flag on it]
Mitch Buchannon: Woh, woh! What are you wearing?
Matt Brody: Freedom.
Mitch Buchannon: That’s desecration.


Mitch Buchannon: We got to go undercover.


[dressed as a woman]
Matt Brody: Check it out. I’m undercover.
Mitch Buchannon: Yeah, a little too undercover.


Mitch Buchannon: I’m Mitch Buchannon, you motherfucker.


Matt Brody: Jason Bourne ain’t got shit on me!
[he suddenly gets hits on the head from behind]


Matt Brody: Why are we in the morgue?
Mitch Buchannon: We got to get some hard evidence.
Summer Quinn: Someone’s coming.
Matt Brody: What do we do now?!
Mitch Buchannon: Now we hide.
Matt Brody: Where?


[hiding inside the morgue freezers]
Matt Brody: I’m laying on a dead old lady.
Summer Quinn: Our drawers are empty, why did you pick that drawer?
Matt Brody: Something just dripped on me.
Mitch Buchannon: It’s just a little dead man’s fat. They’re chronic liquid fat. Now will you stop being a baby.
[some fat drips into Matt’s mouth]
Matt Brody: That’s it, I’m out!


Baywatch is set to open in the US May 26, 2017 and UK May 29, 2017.



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