Starring: Dax Shepard, Michael Peña, Vincent D’Onofrio, Adam Brody, Rosa Salazar, Vida Guerra, Kristen Bell, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Wilmer Valderrama

Action comedy written and directed by Dax Shepard based on the 1970’s TVseries of the same name. The story follows Jon Baker (Dax Shepard) and Frank “Ponch” Poncherello (Michael Peña) who have just joined the California Highway Patrol (CHP) in Los Angeles but for very different reasons. Baker is a beaten up pro motorbiker trying to put his life and marriage back together. Poncherello is a cocky undercover Federal agent investigating a multi-million dollar heist that may be an inside job, inside the CHP.

When they are teamed together they clash more than click, so kickstarting a partnership is easier said than done. But with Baker’s bike skills combined with Ponch’s street savvy it might just work. Soon they find themselves in a situation like none other when a sadistic ex-cop, Vic Brown (Vincent D’Onofrio), and his motor vehicle theft hitmen are wreaking havoc throughout their city.

 

Best Quotes from Trailer:

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Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: Clay, you’re back already, dude, that’s great.
Clay Allen: You fucking asshole.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: Woh, that’s a weird way to thank me for saving your life, but you’re welcome.
Clay Allen: Oh, shooting me was an act of kindness.


 

Ponch’s Boss: You gotta stop shooting Allen!
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: That was my bad.


 

Jon Baker: We’re the California Highway Patrol. This job is crucial. Without us out there…


 

Ponch’s Boss: California Highway Patrol, I think they have some crooked cops. We want you to go on the inside.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: To go undercover within the department, that’s awesome.


 

Ponch’s Boss: California Highway Patrol, I think they have some crooked cops. We want you to go on the inside.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: To go undercover within the department, that’s awesome.
Ponch’s Boss: You’re going to be with a rookie named Jon Baker. You’re going to be Francis Llewelyn Poncherello.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: That’s a fucked up name. Are the first two female names?


 

Sgt. Hernandez: Jon, I like you. You remind me of my husband.
[she shows Jon a photo of her husband who is cross-eyed]
Jon Baker: He is really handsome.
Sgt. Hernandez: You’ve had twenty-three surgeries. You can ride a motorcycle, I’ll give you that.
Jon Baker: Yes, ma’am. Like a motherfucker.
Sgt. Hernandez: No.


 

Sgt. Hernandez: Jon, none of these scores meet even the lower standards. You’ve had twenty-three surgeries?
Jon Baker: I feel pretty darn good. I’m on a pharmaceutical regiment that helps a lot.
Sgt. Hernandez: Uh-huh, I bet. You can ride a motorcycle, I’ll give you that.
Jon Baker: Yes, ma’am. Like a motherfucker.
Sgt. Hernandez: I like you.
Jon Baker: Thank you.
Sgt. Hernandez: You have nice eyes.
Jon Baker: Thank you.


 

Jon Baker: What’s up, I’m Jon.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: Poncherello.
Jon Baker: Awesome, man. we’re partners. Let’s keep this up with a real thing.
[he goes to hug Ponch, but Ponch pushes him away]
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: Woh, dude.
Jon Baker: If you’re homophobic or whatever, that’s cool.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You think I’m homophobic…
Brian Grieves: Jon Baker the Baker?
[Ponch watches as Baker and Grieves hug whilst in their underwear]


 

Jon Baker: Pretty badass, being all suited up for battle.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: Looking like UPS drivers?
Brian Grieves: Yeah, that’s supercool. Go brown, right.


 

Jon Baker: This job is my one shot at saving my marriage.


 

Jon’s Wife: What are you wearing?
Jon Baker: My uniform. So I thought you’d probably want to see what I look like.
Jon’s Wife: In all brown? It’s great, Jon.


 

Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: It’s like you’re three beers too intimate.
[mocking Ponch]
Jon Baker: I’m a tough motorcycle cop. I got no emotion.


 

Ponch’s Boss: What’s your job?
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: Find the dirty cops.


 

Jon Baker: You’re FBI.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: Yep.


 

[after revealing their bikes; to Poncho]
Mechanic: [subtitled] Which one of you is compensating for the small dick?
Jon Baker: Are you guys talking shit about me?
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: They just said they like the bikes.
Jon Baker: He was pointing at my dick I feel like and I heard pequeña, I think it’s small.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: He said you look so tough that you make the, uh, bikes look tiny.
Jon Baker: Oh.


 

Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: Okay, we need to focus.
[just then he gets distracted as a woman bends over]
Jon Baker: Are you kidding me right now?
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: I’m just like kind of powerless to when it comes to yoga pants, you know.
Jon Baker: Let’s get you out of this parking lot, you have a visible erection. You think you can ride with that?
[points to Ponch’s crotch]
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: I don’t know.


 

Jon Baker: I hope that you’re not praying on girls with low self-esteem.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: How are you judging them, like by their hair, like how straight their teeth are?
Jon Baker: Yeah.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: That’s really shallow. Real talk, she ate my butt.
Jon Baker: She ate your ass?
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: Everyone’s eating everyone’s ass now?
Jon Baker: What about hygiene?
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: If you go to the bathroom and you see some baby wipes, greenlight.


 

Jon Baker: We don’t know who in this department is in on this.


 

Jon Baker: We’re like Jay Z and Beyoncé. We are ride or die.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: I’m Jay Z.


 

Ponch’s Boss: If you screw up this case, you’re fired!


 

Ponch’s Boss: Have you got a legitimate lead?
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: We have a suspect’s head, that’s a victory.
Ponch’s Boss: Nasty!
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: I was trying..
Ponch’s Boss: Just damn nasty!!!


 

Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: There’s no way to track this guy.
Jon Baker: Why don’t you scan his face?
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: We don’t have a fucking bat computer.
Jon Baker: Right.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: Just Google.


 

Jon Baker: You can carry me over to that bathroom.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: I’ll drag you there, but I’m not going to cradle you like a newborn.
Jon Baker: I saved your life yesterday.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: I knew you were going to bring it up.
Jon Baker: Just get it over with.


 

Jon Baker: I need to get into some warm water.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: I’m not going to carry you there!
Jon Baker: I saved your life yesterday.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: Oh, my God! I knew you were going to bring it up.
Jon Baker: Grab me and get it over with.
[Ponch picks up Baker, who’s in his underwear, as they’re walking, Ponch slips and his face lands in Baker’s crotch]


 

Jon Baker: Your face went on my…
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: No, no, no, no! There was no contact.
Jon Baker: I could have swore I felt either your nose or your lips.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: Nope! There might have been like a, a little, like a little bit of contact.
[Baker laughs]


 

Jon Baker: Did you face plant into my pubic bone?
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: No, no, no, no!
Jon Baker: I could have swore I felt either your nose or your lips.
Frank ‘Ponch’ Poncherello: Nope! There might have been like a, a little, like a little bit of contact.
[they both laugh]


 

Jon Baker: When you get intimate with these gals is oral expected, like an… an… with the butt?
Male Nurse: Oh, yeah. That’s standard, boss.
Jon Baker: That’s standard. Wow, things have changed.

 

CHiPs is set for release in the US and UK March 24th.

Trailers:

 

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