The Dark Knight Quotes Page 1 2 USER REVIEWS TRIVIA
[first lines; before the bank heist]
Grumpy: Three of a kind, let’s do this.
Chuckles: That’s it, three guys?
Grumpy: Two guys on the roof. Every guy gets a share. Five shares is plenty.
Chuckles: Six shares, don’t forget the guy who planned the job.
Grumpy: He thinks he can sit it out and still take a slice? I know why they call him “The Joker.”
Happy: So why do they call him “The Joker”?
Dopey: I heard he wears make-up.
Dopey: Yeah, to scare people. You know, war paint.
[during the bank heist, Bozo subdues the terrified customers and employees by putting grenades in their hands and pulling the pins]
Grumpy: Obviously, we don’t want you doing anything with your hands other than holdin’ on for dear life!
[during a bank heist, the Joker has tricked all his men into killing each other, one after the other. One of the last ones, getting wise, points his gun at another thug, who still has his mask on]
Grumpy: I’m betting The Joker told you to kill me soon as we loaded the cash.
Bozo: No. No, no, no. I kill the bus driver.
Grumpy: [confused] Bus driver? What bus dri…?
[a school bus drives through the bank wall and kills Grumpy]
Gotham National Bank Manager: Oh, criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor. Respect. Look at you! What do you believe in, huh? What do you believe in?!
[Bozo leans down and sticks a grenade in the manager’s mouth]
Bozo: I believe whatever doesn’t kill you, simply makes you…
[Bozo takes off his mask]
The Joker: …stranger.
[Batman has just fought off Scarecrow and a group of Batman wannabes]
Batman: Don’t let me find you out here again.
Brian Douglas: We’re trying to help you!
Batman: I don’t need help.
Dr. Jonathan Crane: Not in my diagnosis!
Brian Douglas: What gives you the right? What’s the difference between you and me?
[Batman lowers himself into the Batmobile]
Batman: I’m not wearing hockey pads!
Alfred Pennyworth: Be nice when Wayne Manor’s rebuilt, you can swap not sleeping in a penthouse for not sleeping in a mansion.
Bruce Wayne: More copycats last night, Alfred, with guns.
Alfred Pennyworth: Why don’t you hire them and take the weekend off?
Alfred Pennyworth: Know your limits, Master Wayne.
Bruce Wayne: Batman has no limits.
Alfred Pennyworth: Well, you do, sir.
Bruce Wayne: Well, can’t afford to know ’em.
[to Harvey Dent]
Lt. James Gordon: You don’t have to sell me Dent. We all know you’re Gotham’s White Knight.
Bruce Wayne: I need a new suit.
Lucius Fox: Yeah, three buttons is a little ’90’s, Mr. Wayne.
Bruce Wayne: I’m not talking fashion, Mr. Fox, so much as function.
[Wayne hands him a diagram]
Lucius Fox: You want to be able to turn your head.
Bruce Wayne: Sure would make backing out of the driveway easier.
Harvey Dent: The famous Bruce Wayne. Rachel’s told me everything about you.
Bruce Wayne: I certainly hope not.
[after running into Harvey and Rachel at a restaurant]
Bruce Wayne: So, let’s put a couple tables together.
Harvey Dent: I’m not sure they’ll let us.
Bruce Wayne: Oh, they should. I own the place.
Harvey Dent: When their enemies were at the gates, the Romans would suspend democracy and appoint one man to protect the city. It wasn’t considered an honor, it was considered a public service.
Rachel Dawes: Harvey, the last man who they appointed to protect the Republic was named Caesar and he never gave up his power.
Harvey Dent: Okay, fine. You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
[during the mobsters meeting]
The Chechen: Who’s stupid enough to steal from us?
Salvatore Maroni: Two-bit whack-job. Wears a cheap purple suit and make-up. He’s not the problem. He’s a nobody.
[Lau announces that he’s removed all the mob’s cash from their banks before the police raid, and stashed them in a secure location]
Lau: For obvious reasons I couldn’t wait for your permission. Rest assured, your money is safe.
[from outside comes the sound of loud, fake laughter. The mob bosses turn and see the Joker enter]
The Joker: I thought my jokes were bad.
Gambol: Give me one reason why I shouldn’t have my boy here pull your head off.
The Joker: How about a magic trick?
[pulls out a pencil and sticks it upright into the table]
The Joker: I’m gonna make this pencil disappear.
[Gambol’s thug walks over to kill The Joker, who quickly slams his face into the pencil and kills him]
The Joker: Ta-daa! It’s…it’s gone.
The Joker: Let’s wind the clocks back a year. These cops and lawyers wouldn’t dare cross any of you. I mean, what happened? Did…did your balls drop off? Hm? You see, a guy like me…
[the mobsters laugh but the Joker ignore this and continues]
The Joker: A guy like me…Look, listen. I know why you choose to have your little…group therapy sessions in broad daylight. I know why you’re afraid to go out at night. The Batman. See, Batman has shown Gotham your true colors, unfortunately. Dent? He’s just the beginning. And as for the television’s so called “plan?”
[indicates Lau on the video phone]
The Joker: Batman has no jurisdiction. He’ll find him and make him squeal! I know the squealers when I see them, and…
[he indicates Lau again, who hurriedly turns off the picture]
The Chechen: What do you propose?
The Joker: It’s simple. We, uh, kill the Batman.
[the mobsters laugh]
Salvatore Maroni: If it’s so simple, why haven’t you done it already?
The Joker: If you’re good at something, never do it for free.
Gambol: You’re crazy.
The Joker: I’m not. No, I’m not. If we don’t deal with this now, soon little uh, Gambol here won’t be able to get a nickel for his grandma.
Gambol: Enough from the clown!
[reveals the inside of his jacket, which has hand grenades with the pins attached to a thread tied to the Joker’s finger]
The Joker: Ah-ta-ta-ta-ta! Let’s not “blow” this out of proportion.
Gambol: You think you can steal from us and just walk away?
The Joker: Yeah.
The Joker: So listen, why don’t you give me a call when you start taking things a little more seriously.
[takes out his Joker card and places on the table]
Lucius Fox: Now for high altitude jumps you’re gonna need oxygen and stabilizers. Now I must say compared to your usual requests, jumping out of an airplane is pretty straightforward.
Bruce Wayne: And what about getting back into the plane?
Lucius Fox: I’d recommend a good travel agent.
Bruce Wayne: Without it landing.
Lucius Fox: Now that’s more like it, Mr. Wayne. The CIA had a program back in the 60’s for getting their people out of hot spots called Sky Hook. We could look into that.
[examining one of the gauntlets for his new and improved Bat suit, Bruce presses a button, and the spikes are launched across the room, narrowly missing Fox before they bury themselves in the wall]
Lucius Fox: Perhaps you should read the instructions first.
Bruce Wayne: [sheepish] Yeah.
[on Wayne’s Yacht on the Caribbean with the Moscow Ballerinas]
Bruce Wayne: You look tired, Alfred. You’ll be all right without me?
[Alfred looks at all the sunbathing women]
Alfred Pennyworth: You can tell me the Russian for, “apply your own bloody suntan lotion.”
[holding a knife inside Gambol’s mouth]
The Joker: Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was…a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn’t like that. Not-one-bit. So…me watching…he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it! He turns to me, and he says, “Why so serious, son?” Comes at me with the knife…”Why so serious?” He sticks the blade in my mouth…”Let’s put a smile on that face!” And…
[looks sidelong at one of Gambol’s thug, watching the whole thing in horror]
The Joker: Why so serious?
[Joker flicks his wrist and Gambol goes down]
[to Gambol’s thugs, being held helpless]
The Joker: Now, our operation is small, but there’s a lot of potential for “aggressive” expansion. So, which one of you fine gentlemen would like to join our team? Oh, there’s only one spot open right now, so we’re gonna have…
[breaks pool cue over knee]
The Joker: …tryouts.
[The Joker throws the broken pool cue in the middle of the thugs]
The Joker: Make it fast.
[Joker has Brain Douglas captured and is recording him]
The Joker: Tell them your name.
The Joker: Are you the real Batman?
The Joker: No?
The Joker: No? Then why do you dress up like him?
[grabs Brian’s mask and dangles it in front of the camera]
The Joker: Whooo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Brian: Because he’s a symbol that we don’t have to be afraid of scum like you.
The Joker: Yeah you do, Brian. You really do. Yeah. Oh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. So, you think Batman’s made Gotham a better place? Hmm? Look at me. Look at me!
[turns camera to himself]
The Joker: You see this is how crazy Batman’s made Gotham! You want order in Gotham? Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in. Oh, and every day he doesn’t, people will die. Starting tonight. I’m a man of my word.
[at the fund raising party in Bruce Wayne’s Penthouse]
Alfred Pennyworth: A little liquid courage, Mr. Dent?
Harvey Dent: Alfred, right?
Alfred Pennyworth: That’s right, sir.
Harvey Dent: Yeah, Rachel talks about you all the time. You’ve known her, her whole life!
Alfred Pennyworth: Oh, not yet, sir.
Harvey Dent: [laughs] Any psychotic ex-boyfriends I should be aware of?
Alfred Pennyworth: [smiles] Oh, you have no idea.
Bruce Wayne: You know that day that you once told me about, when Gotham would no longer need Batman? It’s coming.
Rachel Dawes: Bruce. You can’t ask me to wait for that.
Bruce Wayne: It’s happening now. Harvey is that hero. He locked up half of the city’s criminals, and he did it without wearing a mask. Gotham needs a hero with a face.
Harvey Dent: You cannot leave me alone with these people.
Rachel Dawes: The whole mob’s after you, and you’re worried about these guys?
Harvey Dent: Yeah, compared to this, the mob doesn’t scare me.
The Joker: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We are tonight’s entertainment! I only have one question. Where is Harvey Dent?
[nobody responds, the Joker walks around the room pointing with his shotgun at everyone]
Gentleman at Party: We’re not intimidated by thugs!
The Joker: You know, you remind me of my father.
[Joker pulls out his switchblade and brings it to the Gentleman’s mouth]
The Joker: I hated my father!
Rachel Dawes: Okay, stop!
[turns to face Rachel, tosses the Gentleman to his thugs and approaches Rachel, adjusting his hair with the knife]
The Joker: Well, hello, beautiful. You must be Harvey’s squeeze, hm? And you are beautiful.
[Joker hovers around the incredibly nervous Rachel]
The Joker: Well, you look nervous. Is it the scars? You want to know how I got ’em?
[he grabs Rachel’s head and positions the knife by her mouth]
The Joker: Come here. Hey! Look at me. So I had a wife, beautiful, like you, who tells me I worry too much. Who tells me I ought to smile more. Who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks… Look at me! One day, they carve her face. And we have no money for surgeries. She can’t take it. I just want to see her smile again, hm? I just want her to know that I don’t care about the scars. So…I stick a razor in my mouth and do this…
[Joker mimics slicing his mouth open with his tongue]
The Joker: …to myself. And you know what? She can’t stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now I’m always smiling!
[Rachel knees the Joker in the groin, he merely laughs it off]
The Joker: A little fight in you. I like that.
Batman: Then you’re going to love me.
[Batman attacks him]
Batman: Let her go!
[Joker dangles Rachel out of a window]
The Joker: Very poor choice of words…
[then let’s Rachel drop]
[after Batman saves Rachel from falling out of a window]
Batman: Are you alright?
Rachel Dawes: Let’s not do that again.
Bruce Wayne: Targeting me won’t get their money back. I knew the mob wouldn’t go down without a fight, but this is different. They crossed the line.
Alfred Pennyworth: You crossed the line first, sir. You squeezed them, you hammered them to the point of desperation. And in their desperation they turned to a man they didn’t fully understand.
Bruce Wayne: Criminals aren’t complicated, Alfred. We just need to figure out what he’s after.
Alfred Pennyworth: With respect, Master Wayne, perhaps this is a man that you don’t fully understand either.
Alfred Pennyworth: A long time ago, I was in Burma, my friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of the tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never met anyone who traded with him. One day I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.
Bruce Wayne: So why steal them?
Alfred Pennyworth: Because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
[Wayne Enterprises accountant Coleman Reese believes that he’s discovered Batman’s secret identity]
Lucius Fox: Let me get this straight, you think that your client, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands. And your plan is to blackmail this person?
[Fox smiles at Reese]
Lucius Fox: Good luck.
Maroni’s Mistress: Can’t we go someplace quieter? We can’t hear each other talk.
Salvatore Maroni: What makes you think I want to hear you talk?
[after Gordon has been seen shot and killed during the Mayor’s speech to the grieving police offer families]
Harvey Dent: Rachel listen to me, you’re not safe there.
Rachel Dawes: This is Gordon’s unit….
Harvey Dent: Gordon’s gone Rachel.
Rachel Dawes: He vouched for these men.
Harvey Dent: And he’s gone. The Jokers named you next. God is there someone, is there anyone in this town you can trust?
Rachel Dawes: Bruce, we can trust Bruce Wayne.
[Batman is holding Maroni out over a ledge]
Batman: I want The Joker.
Salvatore Maroni: From one professional to another, if you’re trying to scare somebody, pick a better spot. From this height, the fall wouldn’t kill me.
Batman: I’m counting on it.
[he drops Maroni off the ledge, breaking his legs]
[after breaking Maroni’s Legs from dropping him over a ledge]
Batman: Where is he?
Salvatore Maroni: I don’t know. He found us!
Batman: He must have friends!
Salvatore Maroni: Friends? Have you met this guy?
Batman: Someone knows where he is.
Salvatore Maroni: Nobody’s gonna tell you nothin’. They’re wise to your act. You got rules. The Joker, he’s got no rules. Nobody’s gonna cross him for you. You want this guy, you got one way. And you already know what that is. Just take off that mask and let him come find you. Or do you want to let a couple more people get killed while you make your mind?
[Harvey tosses his coin trying to torture one of Joker’s thugs in getting him to give information about the Joker]
Batman: You’d leave a man’s life to chance?
Harvey Dent: Not exactly.
Harvey Dent: The Joker killed Gordon. He’s going to kill Rachel.
Batman: You’re the symbol of hope I could never be. Your stand against organized crime is the first legitimate ray of light that Gotham in decades. If anyone saw this, everything would be undone, all the criminals you pulled off the streets would be released and Jim Gordon will have died for nothing. You’re gonna hold a press conference tomorrow morning.
Harvey Dent: Why?
Batman: No one else will die because of me. Gotham’s in your hands now.
Harvey Dent: You can’t…
[Batman walks away]
Harvey Dent: You can’t give in. You can’t give in!
Bruce Wayne: You once told me that if the day came that I was finished that we’d be together.
Rachel Dawes: Bruce, don’t make me your one hope for a normal life.
Bruce Wayne: Did you mean it?
Rachel Dawes: Yes.
[they kiss and Bruce then starts to walk away from her]
Rachel Dawes: Bruce…if you turn yourself in, they’re not gonna let us be together.
Total Quotes: 88
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