Simply put Due Date
quotes are unevenly amusing and a tad clichéd.
The story is not a classic since the odd
couple comedy road trip
movie has been done before and better. However, as uneven as the movie
is it still does provide some comedic value and a few laugh out loud
moments. I would highly recommend not expecting too much from
movie, you might even enjoy it more! Take a look at this
collection of Due Date
by: Todd Phillips
Alan R. Cohen (screenplay)
Alan Freedland (screenplay)
Adam Sztykiel (screenplay)
Todd Phillips (screenplay)
Alan R. Cohen (story)
Alan Freedland (story) Starring: Robert Downey Jr. - Peter
Highman Zach Galifianakis -
Ethan Tremblay / Ethan Chase Michelle Monaghan - Sarah
Highman Jamie Foxx - Darryl Juliette Lewis - Heidi Danny McBride -
Lonnie RZA -
Airport Screener Matt Walsh -
TSA Agent Brody Stevens -
Limo Driver Jakob Ulrich - Patrick Naiia Ulrich - Alex Todd Phillips - Barry Bobby Tisdale -
Carl Sharon Morris -
Airport X-Ray Nathalie Fay - Flight
Attendant Emily Wagner -
Flight Attendent Steven M. Gagnon - Air
Marshall Marco Rodríguez - Federali
Agent Mimi Kennedy -
Sarah's Mom Tymberlee Hill -
New Mother Keegan Michael Key -
New Father Aaron Lustig -
Dr. Greene Jon Cryer -
Alan Harper Charlie Sheen - Charlie
into the phone through a bluetooth ear piece] Peter Highman:
I just had the
strangest dream. It's Friday, we're at the hospital, but it's not a
hospital, it's a-a...a forest of sorts. And uh...I know that because
right next to you there's a bear.
And all of a
sudden you begin to deliver and uh...I can't...I can't get to you. But
the bear can. The next thing I know he is holding our beautiful baby
boy and here's where it get odd. Uh...he chews the chord, but strangely
I'm okay with it. That's gotta be a good sign.
Peter Highman: Theodore.
it. But remember that article I told you about? Naming kids after
famous people? I just don't want Teddy to think that he's a failure if
he doesn't find about his face on Mount Rushmore.
Peter Highman: Uh...Arthur.
Ahhh...this was tough cause Arthur it's mythological, round table, the
whole deal. but the name game, remember that? The name game? Arthur bo
Bart, banana fanna for Fart!
Peter Highman: Uh...brings
to Cassey, this whole next school of names; Casey, Jordan, Dillinger,
Taylor, Tyler and probably mostly Skyler, are all names that could also
be girls names. I mean why don't we just cut to the chase and call him
[after Ethan's friend
into Peter's driver's car] Ethan Tremblay: You
Sorry about my friend, I think he's been drinking. Peter Highman:
You smell a
little boozy too. You guy's been drinkin' and drivin' together? Ethan Tremblay: Well,
we...we...we haven't been drinking. We had a split of six pack of
forties but...you know what? My father
always had a saying; "When a day starts like this it's all uphill from
here. Peter Highman: That's
incorrect. Ethan Tremblay: No.
dad, he said... Peter Highman: Uphill?
it's all downhill from here. Ethan Tremblay: But
wants to be up, nobody wants to be down. So, it's all uphill from here. Peter Highman:
But it's easier
as you go downhill. So your dad didn't know what the fuck he was
[when the airport
drugs Peter's bag] Airport Screener:
your bag yourself, sir? Peter Highman:
Yes, but not
that. I've never done drugs in my life. This is absol...this is crazy. Airport Screener: Maybe
a drug mule. Peter Highman:
Drug mule? Do I
look like a drug mule? Airport Screener: I
know. How drug mules look? Peter Highman:
Well, you're the
expert. Airport Screener: What,
me? Peter Highman:
Who said that? Airport Screener: You're
you're eyes saying 'more like me'... Peter Highman:
Did my face say
something? Airport Screener: ...You're
eyes are saying 'more like me'. Peter Highman:
Did my mouth say
anything? I don't think you look like a...
[the airport screener
the clothes in Peter's bag] Peter Highman: Do
you mind not
tossing it up so much? [airport screener takes
a sock out of
the bag and smell it] Airport Screener: Woh!
mother fucker, ain't you? Peter Highman: You
inappropriate it's crazy. Airport Screener: Wow,
been called a lot of things, man. But inappropriate...that's some
fucked up shit, yo!
[after Ethan is seated
on the plane
in the seat behind Peter] Ethan Tremblay: Oh,
what? I think we switched our bags at the curb. Peter Highman: I
know we did.
Your bag was confiscated. It had paraphernalia in it, marijuana pipe. Ethan Tremblay: Well,
medical apparatus. I have glycoma. [Peter whispers under
sarcastically] Peter Highman: I'm
[Peter is typing a text
the flight attendant announces that passengers should switch off their
cell phones] Ethan Tremblay: Hey
made the announcement. You should turn that off. Peter Highman: Yeah,
I got it. Ethan Tremblay: Okay,
turn it off. You know why? Peter Highman: I'm
it off. Ethan Tremblay: I
get a little uneasy because they know that terrorists used their cell
phones to trigger bombs in their luggage. [Peter turns around and
to be quite] Peter Highman: It's
not a word
you'll wanna me saying. Ethan Tremblay: Which
Terrorist or bomb? Peter Highman: Now
both the words you shouldn't say!
sir, um...would you and your friend mind stepping to the front of the
plane? Peter Highman: My
friend?! Flight Attendant: I...I'm
sorry. I need you to come with me please. Peter Highman: Well,
I...listen. This clown... [getting up from his
pointing to Ethan] Peter Highman: I've
before in my life Ethan Tremblay: That's
entirely true, we switched bags at the curb side. Peter Highman: That
accident and he had...he had... Air Marshall: Sir.
Federal Air Marshall, please step to the front of the plane. Peter Highman: What?
Drop the device. Peter Highman: It's
device, it's a Blackberry. [the Air Marshall point
a gun at
Peter] Air Marshall: Drop
asshole! Peter Highman: What
gonna do, rent-a-cop? You gonna shoot me in front of everyone? [the Air Marshall shoots
his gun and
Peter falls down unconscious] Air Marshall: It's
everyone, he'll be fine. It's only a rubber bullet. [the passengers start to
Peter Highman: When's
TSA Agent: Probably
hour, but you won't be on it. Peter Highman: Why's
that? TSA Agent: You're
on the no
fly list. Peter Highman: Why? TSA Agent: It
says right here.
[points to the release
Peter is signing] TSA Agent: you
and your friend. Peter Highman: Who? TSA Agent: The
just interviewed. Peter Highman: I've
that dip shit before in my life. TSA Agent: Really? Peter Highman: Yeah. TSA Agent: He
had nothing but
nice things to say about you.
Peter Highman: I
pregnant wife, I have to get back to Los Angeles. This is a huge
misunderstanding. What am I supposed to do? TSA Agent: Have
you ever seen
the movie, Forrest Gump? Peter Highman: Yes. TSA Agent: Well,
he ran across
the country and he was pretty stupid. So, I have faith in you. You're
free to leave.
[on the phone to Sarah,
told her that he's been put on the no fly list] Sarah Highman: What
do, Peter? Did you snap at somebody? Peter Highman: No.
I did not.
I was cool, calm and collected the whole time. I was completely in my
rights. Sarah Highman: You
carried away sometimes. How are you gonna get home? Peter Highman: Well,
I have a
plan and the plan is sorting itself out. But my wallet is traveling.
Ethan Tremblay: Hey,
I've been looking all over for you. Peter Highman: Stay
me. [Sarah is listening to
conversation through the phone] Peter Highman: You're
trouble. Ethan Tremblay: But
something of yours Peter Highman: Honey,
this...this might all be solved. I'll call you right back.
[Ethan shows up at the
rent-a-car in a rental car] Ethan Tremblay: Hey,
a ride with us? Peter Highman: No.
fine. I'm not really a bid dog person. Ethan Tremblay: Look,
we got off on the wrong foot, but I tell ya I have a really great
personality once you get to know me. Peter Highman: Yeah,
you do. Ethan Tremblay: I
friends on Facebook, twelve of them are pending, but I got ninety
Ethan Tremblay: What's
name? Peter Highman: Peter. Ethan Tremblay: My
Ethan. Ethan Tremblay. And this little guy. [holds up his dog] Ethan Tremblay: This
butterball, this is Sonny. And we would be honored to have you ride
with us. Come on, it'll be fun. [Peter goes to open the
car door when
Ethan suddenly drives away he then reverses back to Peter] Ethan Tremblay: [laughs] Woo! JK.
LOL. HI. Hop in.
[trying to make
Peter during the drive] Ethan Tremblay: What
you lose your virginity? Peter Highman: I'm
discuss that with you. Ethan Tremblay: I
years old. Peter Highman: [dryly] Boy! Ethan Tremblay: Great
Great gal. Sheila Pimples. Peter Highman: I'm
getting a headache and it's not because of you, it's just I'm under a
lot of pressure.
Peter Highman: Ethan,
brought you to Atlanta? Business or pleasure? Ethan Tremblay: My
I went to Atlanta to go to his funeral. Peter Highman: Jee,
know. I'm sorry. Ethan Tremblay: He
guy, man. That's why I'm heading out west. He's the one that kinda
motivated me to get onto TV. Peter Highman: TV? Ethan Tremblay: Yeah. Peter Highman: Tough
to break into. So competitive. I have a friend, he's...he's in that
industry. Ethan Tremblay: Does
on Two and a Half Men? Peter Highman: No.
He um... Ethan Tremblay: Well
that's too bad. Because Two and a Half Men is the reason I wanted to
become an actor. Peter Highman: Right. Ethan Tremblay: Specially
Ethan Tremblay: It
is if we could stop off at the Grand Canyon. Peter Highman: We're
to the Grand Canyon. I'll tell you why, that would be easily a hundred
and twenty miles off our optimum route. Ethan Tremblay: That's
too bad. [he looks a coffee can
in his hand] Ethan Tremblay: Cause
would have loved Grand Canyon. Peter Highman: Why
do you even
have this? Ethan Tremblay: Oh,
is my daddy. These are his ashes. Peter Highman: Why
father's ashes in a coffee can? Ethan Tremblay: Because
dead, Peter. Peter Highman: I
that. Ethan Tremblay: Don't
listen to anything that anybody else says? Peter Highman: The
normal people put remains in an urn.
[holding up the coffee
can] Ethan Tremblay: This
sealed. Peter Highman: Ethan,
broke the seal when you poured out the coffee, then you poured your
father's remains in there and then you closed it. That didn't reseal it! Ethan Tremblay: That's
dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. [Ethan sneezes and blows
his nose] Ethan Tremblay: Oh,
shouldn't have come here. I'm allergic to waffles.
Peter Highman: Why're
making a pit stop in Birmingham, Alabama? We got...we gotta make time. Ethan Tremblay: Because
my glycoma medication on the plane? Peter Highman: Wait,
wait! Your what? You mean your weed? Ethan Tremblay: It's
marijuana, Peter. Peter Highman: No,
it's weed. Ethan Tremblay: Why
have to make everything so dark? Peter Highman: It's
it's weed. And I'm saying I really don't want to stop and buy drugs.
Ethan Tremblay: You
I didn't want to play this card. Certainly not this early, but guess
what? Guess who's got the Subaru Impreza? Me! Guess who's got all
the money? Me! Guess who's got a winning personality? Me! What do you
have? You have a nice hair line, fine. You have a strong jaw, fine. But
I gotta tell you somethin', mister. Your personality needs some work.
My God! Now do you want a ride to California or not? Peter Highman: Yes,
please. Ethan Tremblay: Good.
Hold dad. [he goes to give Peter
the coffee can
but Peter drops it] Peter Highman: I'm
got...I got it. I got it.
Ethan Tremblay: It's
like...God almighty! Holy moly! It's like traveling with a child. Peter Highman: Did
you use the
rest room? Ethan Tremblay: Good
need to take a pee-pee.
[Ethan takes Peter's
cell phone and
starts talking to Sarah] Ethan Tremblay: I
let you know I have your package and he is A-okay and I will have him
delivered by Thursday. Sarah Highman: Thank
much. Ethan Tremblay: Hey,
other thing. Do you have a hairdresser out west? I just got this killer
perm and it needs some major up keep. Sarah Highman: I'm
you just say that you have a perm? Ethan Tremblay: Yeah.
like a permanent. [Sarah hears Peter
through the phone] Peter Highman: It's
heinous. Ethan Tremblay: Do
you mind! Sarah Highman: Uh...can
talk to my husband, please? Ethan Tremblay: Yeah,
Okay, hold on. [he passes Peter's cell
phone back to
Peter] Peter Highman: I
know. [on the phone to Sarah] Peter Highman: So
I'm dealing with. Sarah Highman: Oh,
my God! Peter Highman: Yep.
you a cop? Peter Highman: Why?
not a licensed pharmacist? Heidi: Okay,
you just look
really official. And you know if I ask you if you're a cop, and you are
cop, you have to say yes. Peter Highman: That's
That's actually incorrect. But I'm not. Ethan Tremblay: No,
architect. Peter Highman: I'm
architect, so. Heidi: Wait,
it's a myth? Peter Highman: Yeah. Heidi: [laughs] Shit! I
did not know that
this whole fucking time. You're fucking scary is what you are. Come in,
Ethan. The pharmacy is in Kitchen.
Ethan Tremblay: Nice
man. Well done. Well done on that perm. Barry: Oh,
thanks bro. It's
not a perm, it's natural. Nobody gets perms anymore. Wait, wait...don't
tell me, is that a perm? Ethan Tremblay: Yeah,
perm. [Heidi starts to laugh] Heidi: Oh,
my God! You did not
perm your hair? Barry: Where
do you even get
perms anymore? Heidi: I
know! It's like...
Ethan Tremblay: I
kidding about. This isn't a perm. Barry: Excuse
me? Ethan Tremblay: That's
not...this isn't a perm. I was just joking. Heidi: [laughing] Oh, my
God! Thank God!
Cause I was... Barry: You
got us. Heidi: I
was like... Barry: You
got us both. Heidi: ...only
you know, these
like fucking jerk offs get perms. Barry: That
was good. Heidi: That
was hilarious. Barry: Very
[after Ethan has done a
from The Godfather, Barry starts to clap] Heidi:
That's amazing. I had
chills at that second paragraph when the line...the murder. That is so
fucking good, Ethan. Ethan Tremblay: Thank
I've been working on the hand gesture, you know, just to get it right. Barry: Did
you write that
yourself? Ethan Tremblay:
No, the mafia
[after finding out the
spent most of his money on buying drugs] Peter Highman: What
thinking when you spent almost all of our money on drugs?
I don't think
in those terms. Peter Highman: What
you think in? Ethan Tremblay:
I'm not gonna
count them, Peter. I'm not even Jewish! Peter Highman: Are
adult? Ethan Tremblay:
Of course I'm
an adult. I'm twenty three years old. Peter Highman: You
shot-out twenty three year old I've ever seen. How have you made it
this far? How have you not run yourself over in car? Ethan Tremblay:
I've don that. Peter Highman: How
survived? That's my question? Ethan Tremblay:
Mostly luck. Peter Highman: Yeah,
what I thought. Just dumb fucking luck.