Friends with Benefits Movie Quotes:
Predictable Clichéd Fun (Total Quotes: 106)

Friends with Benefits movie quotes tries hard to be an anti-romantic comedy, but it goes from poking fun at cliched romantic comedies to becoming one itself! Although the movie does offer some genuinely funny moments, in the end it fails to reach it's full potential. What elevates the story, and saves the story form being a total waste, is the energetic dialogue and the sexual chemistry between the two leads. Despite it's downfalls, Friends with Benefits does try to inject a bit of freshness and vitality in this highly over done genre. Keep on reading to get a taste of the predictable, but funny Friends with Benefits quotes.

Our Rating:

Directed by: Will Gluck
Written by:
Keith Merryman (screenplay)
David A. Newman (screenplay)
Will Gluck (screenplay)
Harley Peyton (story)
Keith Merryman (story)
David A. Newman (story)
Justin Timberlake - Dylan
Mila Kunis - Jamie
Patricia Clarkson - Lorna
Jenna Elfman - Annie
Bryan Greenberg - Parker
Richard Jenkins - Mr. Harper
Woody Harrelson - Tommy
Nolan Gould - Sam
Andy Samberg - Quincy
Shaun White - Himself
Andrew Fleming - Driver

Friends with Benefits Quotes Page  1 | 2

[Dylan gets a call during a staff meeting]
Jamie: Hey, baby where are you? Are you still at work?
Dylan: No! Not even close.
Jamie: Just so you know, the movie starts in ten minutes.
Dylan: I know.
[as he's dropped his coffee on his pants he turns to his co-worker]
Dylan: Give me your pants.
Male Co-Worker: What?
Dylan: Buy you lunch tomorrow. Come on!
Male Co-Worker: No.
Dylan: I'm your boss. Give me your pants.
Jamie: Please, try not to be late really hate missing the beginning.
[the co-worker stands and takes off his pants revealing that he has not underpants on]
Dylan: I know. I know.
[Dylan turns to another male co-worker]
Dylan: Give me you pants.

[still talking on his cell as he gets out of the office and jumps into his car]
Dylan: I'm almost there.
Jamie: How far away?
[driving in his car as fast as he can]
Dylan: I think I see you.
Jamie: Where are you? I'm here.
Dylan: So am I! So many people. What are you wearing?
Jamie: I'm wearing the only clothes outside the theater. Because I'm the only person outside the theater!
Dylan: I love that outfit. You look so sexy in that.

[we see Jamie standing outside the movie theater talking on her cell phone]
Jamie: You know I love this movie! If a prostitute and a ruthless business man can fall in love, then anyone can.
[we see Dylan running and talking on this cell phone]
Dylan: I know this means a lot to you. Which means it means a lot to me.
Jamie: Well, apparently it doesn't.
Dylan: I'm looking at you right now. I can see you!
[Jamie hears her name being called turns to see her date which we now realize is not Dylan]

[referring to Dylan arriving late to the John Mayer concert]
Kayla: Here's and idea. Next time, instead of being late, just shit on my face. Cause that's kinda the same thing as missing 'Your Body is a Wonderland'.

Quincy: I just feel should chill for a while, you know?
Jamie: You're doing this?

Jamie: You said I was your soul mate!
Quincy: I did! When?
Jamie: When we were at that Bed & Breakfast having sex.
Quincy: But you know, that doesn't...
Jamie: That doesn't what?
Quincy: Count.
[she hits the sandwich she'd made him out of his hand]

[as Kayla is breaking up with Dylan]
Dylan: I was tied up at work. I'm sorry.
Kayla: Maybe you should care a little bit less about work and a little more about the girl you're dating? Cause last time I checked, work doesn't reassure you that liking a finger up your ass doesn't make you gay!
Dylan: I never said, go up! Okay? I just said, lightly around. It's like a little button. You know what? Not your issue anymore.

Jamie: Is this why you were late? You were worried about how to break up with me?
Quincy: Oh! No! No! I was trying to decide what to wear.
Jamie: So you went with sneakers and a hoodie?
Quincy: Yeah.
Jamie: What, are you gonna take the S.A.T's after this?
Quincy: Don't lash out, okay? You're better than that.
Jamie: I'm really not.

Kayla: I just think we're heading in different directions.
Dylan: Yeah. You to the John Mayer concert and me not! Thank you, for doing this before the concert by the way. Best break up.
[then mouths the word 'ever']
Kayla: He is the Sheryl Crow of our generation!

Jamie: Let me just ask you a quick question? And just know that I am not at all crushed by this break up. So, be honest. Why?
Quincy: Is this a trick?
Jamie: No. Just pure anthropological research.
Quincy: Okay. You want someone to sweep you off your feet, but you're more interested in getting swept off your feet than the someone who's doing the sweeping. You seem like you got it totally together, but you're actually really emotionally damaged. Also, you have like really big eyes. And that freaks me out sometimes.
Jamie: Thank you. That's enough.

Kayla: It is not you, at all.
Dylan: Of course, it's me! You can't say that! You're breaking up with me!
Kayla: It's not! It's me! I don't like you anymore.

Kayla: You're a great guy. A little too emotionally unavailable, if you ask me.
Dylan: I didn't.
Kayla: I really wanna stay friends.

[talking to his friend after breaking up with Kayla]
Dylan: Why do relationships always start off so fun and then turn into suck-a-bag-of-dicks?

[talking to her friend after breaking up with Quincy]
Jamie: You really have to stop buying into this bullshit Hollywood cliche of true love.
[sees movie poster for a romantic comedy starring Katherine Heigl]
Jamie: Shut up, Katherine Heigl! You stupid lier!

Dylan: I'm just gonna work and fuck. Like George Clooney.

Jamie: I'm just gonna shut myself down emotionally. Like George Clooney.

[at the airport, meeting each other for the first time]
Jamie: Welcome to New York.
Dylan: Thank you. You're not exactly what comes to mind, when you think 'headhunter'.
Jamie: Yeah, I prefer executive recruiter. Headhunter sounds a little creepy.
Dylan: You did stalk me for six months. Kinda creepy!

[referring to his bag]
Jamie: Here, I'll take it.
Dylan: You're really gonna carry my bag? You're that girl?
Jamie: No. I'm gonna change your life. I'm that girl!
Dylan: My life is already pretty great.
Jamie: Oh, really? Cause you wouldn't be here if your life were already pretty great.
Dylan: A free trip to New York, I'd be an idiot to turn that down.
Jamie: Well, then I guess you must have been an idiot for the past six months.
Dylan: Ooh! Yeah, a lot of people would say longer than that.

[after he's commented on his blog getting six million hits]
Jamie: I could put up a video of me mixing cake batter with my boobs. And it will get eight million hits.
Dylan: That's been done. Dunkin-My-Tits-Hynes dot com.
Jamie: Really?

[after Dylan has been given the job offer by GQ]
Dylan: Would you uproot your life for a job? Be honest.
Jamie: Well, no. For a job, probably not. But for New York? Yeah, I would. Which is why I'm not gonna try to sell you on the job. I'm gonna sell you on New York.
Dylan: It's New York! I've seen Seinfeld.
Jamie: Not the bullshit tourist version.

Dylan: Why do women think the only way to get a man to do what they want, is to manipulate them?
Jamie: History. Personal experience. Romantic comedies.

[as Shaun White turns to leave he trips and falls on their table]
Dylan: Hey bro, that was like a Double McTwist twelve sixty.
Shaun White: Oh! Yeah, like the trick.
Dylan: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Dylan.
Shaun White: Jamie, you wanna get this guy out of my face before I break his fucking skull?
Dylan: Sorry, bro. No disrespect. I'm a huge fan.
Shaun White: You don't fucking know me, man! Don't talk to me like you know me! What do you think, I'm all chilled cause I snow board and shit? One more word! Fuck you up like dynamite!
Dylan: Dynamite?
Shaun White: Ah, I'm just playing, bro. Any friend of Jamie's is cool with me. It's all good, man.
Dylan: All good.
[Shaun hugs Dylan and whispers in his ear]
Shaun White: I'm whispering in the ear of a dead man!

Dylan: Shaun White seems really great. Nice dude. How do you know him again?
Jamie: I tool his virginity.
Dylan: Oh! So, you've guys known each other for a while?
Jamie: No! It's like eight months ago.
Dylan: Wow! So does the carpet match the drapes?
Jamie: Uh, it's a hard wood floor, if you know what I mean.
Dylan: My God! Terrible visual.
Jamie: Totally kidding by the way. He's just an old friend of mine.
Dylan: You guys use the same leave-in conditioner? His hair had nice body.

[lying down on the rooftop of a skyscraper and looking at the sky]
Jamie: Only place in the city you can actually see the stars.
Dylan: Wow!
Jamie: Yeah.
Dylan: It's very awesome.
Jamie: I know. I like to come up here to think. Just when it gets a little too much for me down there. It's's like my New York version of mountain top. Best part, no cell reception.
Dylan: Aah! You take all your recruits up here?
Jamie: Actually, never really taken anyone up here.
Dylan: Really?
Jamie: Yeah.
Dylan: Thanks.
Jamie: If you tell anyone about this, I will rip your ears off and staple them to your neck.
Dylan: Everyone in this city seems really violent.

[Jamie shows him a flash mob at Time Square, with dozens of people joining in a synchronized dance]
Jamie: It's nice to feel like you're a part of something. New York can be a little bit lonely at times.
Dylan: And you're trying to sell me on it?.
Jamie: Every place can be a bit lonely sometimes.
Friends With Benefits Movie Quotes

[meeting Tommy on the first day at his new his job in New York]
Tommy: Listen, I'd love to take you out one night and troll for cock.
Dylan: What?
Tommy: You got some pretty boys out there in L.A., but the quality in this town is ri-dic-ulous. We can tare this shit up.
Dylan: I'm not gay, Tommy.
Tommy: Really? Oh! I just assumed, art director and...your face.
[he strokes Dylan's face]
Tommy: Hey, no skin! More pipe for me.

Dylan: Hey, I was thinking of getting some lunch. Do you know a place?
Jamie: Are you asking me out?
Dylan: Well, I...I'm not asking you out. I'm asking you to show me a restaurant.
Jamie: I mean I'm the only friend you have in New York. You don't want to complicate that!
Dylan: I know! I'm not asking you out.
Jamie: I mean, sure. We'd have fun, roll around. Get into some erotic humiliation fantasy...
Dylan: Erotic fan...? Could you just lower the...
Jamie: ...which would blow up in our faces, end badly. And we'd never speak to each other again!
Dylan: I'm not fucking asking you out! I swear to God!
Jamie: Okay. You don't like me like that. You don't have to be so mean about it.
Dylan: I'm sorry. I didn't...I...
[Jamie starts laughing]
Jamie: God! You're such a girl. Come on, it's my treat.

Jamie: You're emotionally unavailable?
Dylan: Oh, yeah!
Jamie: Oh, my God! I'm emotionally damaged. I haven't seen you at the meetings.

Dylan: I'm done with the relationship thing.
Jamie: Girl, you are preaching to the congregation.
Dylan: Choir.
Jamie: What?
Dylan: Preaching to the choir. You're supposed to preach to the congregation. That's the expression.
Jamie: Did you understand what I'm saying? Then don't be a dick about it.
Friends with Benefits Movie Quotes

[whilst watching a romantic movie on TV]
Dylan: Why do all these movies have such bad music?
Jamie: Because so that you know how to feel every single second.
Dylan: I'm heart broken. Bam-bum-bam-bummm! I'm getting married to the man of my dreams. Bum-bam-bum-bam-bammm! I'm sneaking to an office. Dom-dom-boom-boom-boom- boom!

[as she's watching the ending of the romantic movie]
Jamie: God, I wish my life was a movie sometimes. You know, I'd never have to worry about my hair, or having to go to the bathroom. And then when I'm at my lowest point, some guy would chase me down the street, pour his heart out and we'd kiss. Happily ever after.
Friends with Benefits Movie Quotes[referring to the couple in the romantic movie, riding in a carriage at the end of the movie]
Jamie: I mean, a horse and carriage! Come on! That is...awesome!
Dylan: Not as awesome as this ambiguously upbeat pop song that has nothing to do with the plot! They put in at the end to try to convince you that you had a great time at this shitty movie.
Jamie: You know, why don't they ever a make a movie about what happens after they kiss?
Dylan: They do. It's called porn.

Jamie: God, I miss sex! Right, I mean sometimes you just need it. It's like...uh, it's like cracking your neck.
Dylan: Why does it always gotta come with complications?
Jamie: And emotions.
Dylan: And guilt.
Jamie: Woh! Guilt!
Dylan: It's womens fault.
Jamie: What?
Dylan: You heard me! 'Hold me.' 'Lets spend the rest of our lives together.'
Jamie: Oh, please! You are no better. 'Oh, yeah. Baby, come on now. Say my name. Yeah...eee...uuhh! I'm done. How was that?'
Dylan: Who have you been with?

Dylan: Why can it not be like that? It's a physical act. Like playing tennis. Two people should be able to have sex like they're playing tennis.
Jamie: Yeah! I mean, no one wants to go away for the weekend after they play tennis.
Dylan: It's just a game. You shake hands, you get on with your shit.
Jamie: Yeah.
Dylan: Yeah.

Dylan: Jamie?
Jamie: Yeah?
Dylan: Let's play tennis.
Jamie: What?
Dylan: Let's have sex like we're playing tennis.
Jamie: [laughing] Get the hell outta here!
Dylan: Don't laugh! This could be great. This could take all the weirdness out of it.
Jamie: Well, we talked about this. I don't like you like that.
Dylan: I don't like you like that either. That's why it's perfect.

Jamie: I don't even know if I find you attractive.
Dylan: That's cute.
Jamie: Mmm. I do have a thing for jerks. Well, do you even find me attractive?
Dylan: That's cute.
Jamie: No! No! No! Before you got to know my awesome personality. Strictly physical. First time you saw me.
Dylan: This is just two people talking?
Jamie: Yeah. Two girls, over drinks at Bennigans. Go.
Dylan: I liked your eyes. I didn't think I'd ever seen such big beautiful eyes.
Jamie: And your lips. Yeah, thought you might be a good kisser.
Dylan: I am.

Dylan: Your breasts.
Jamie: What about them?
Dylan: They intrigued me.
Jamie: Really?
Dylan: Yeah!
Jamie: Oh, I think they're so tiny!
Dylan: Still breasts.
Jamie: Thanks.

Jamie: I liked your hands.
Dylan: Mouth.
Jamie: Butt.
Dylan: Voice.
Jamie: Chest.
Dylan: Eyes.
Jamie: You said that.
Dylan: I meant it.

Jamie: You swear you don't want anything more other than sex?
Dylan: You swear you don't want anything more from me? I know how you girls get...tick-tock-tick- tock...
Jamie: Stop it!
Friends with Benefits Movie Quotes

[swearing over the iPad bible]
Jamie: No relationship. No emotions. Just sex.
Dylan: Whatever happens, we stay friends.
Jamie: Swear.
Dylan: Swear.

Dylan: So I guess, we should just start.
Jamie: Okay.
Dylan: I'll serve.
Jamie: Ah, that's really...that's enough of the tennis. Let's go to the bedroom.
Dylan: What's wrong with the couch? It's less emotional.
Jamie: The bedroom has better light. And since we're just friends, I don't have to be insecure about my body.
Dylan: Come on! Okay, you're beautiful. You have nothing to be insecure about.
Jamie: You see! That is way too emotionally supportive and you need to just lock that down!
[she turns to go the bedroom]
Dylan: Well, you're ass is a little bony.
Jamie: Much better!

[as they're getting undressed to have sex]
Jamie: My nipples are sensitive. I don't like dirty talk. And had I known this was gonna happen, I would have shaved my legs this morning.
Dylan: My chin is ticklish. I sneeze sometimes after I come. And if I'd have known this was gonna happen I wouldn't have shaved my legs this morning.
Jamie: Okie Dokie!
Dylan: Oh! I keep my socks on. Intimacy issues.
Jamie: Great! Cause feet gross me out. Daddy issues.
Dylan: Great.

Jamie: I can't believe we're doing this!
Dylan: Shall we stop? We could just go for a run.
Jamie: No! Are we getting too old for this?
Dylan: Sex?
Jamie: No. Casual sex! I Just...I don't know. It feels a little collegy.
Dylan: Oh, I could sing some Third Eye Blind.
Jamie: Okay.

Jamie: God, Dylan! I just...
Dylan: Relax! Just a friend, goin' down on another friend.

[as he's trying to go down on her she grabs his tongue and brings his head back up]
Jamie: What are you tryin' to do? Dig your way to China?
Dylan: I'm good at this!
Jamie: Says who?
Dylan: Every girl I've been with!
Jamie: Well, they're either lying or their vagina's are made out of burlaps. So, relax! You're not a lizard.
Dylan: Okay, fine.

[giving him instructions on how to go down on her]
Jamie: A little to the right.
Dylan: Okay.
Jamie: And a little bit more to the left.
Dylan: Roger that!
Jamie: Now, go down.
Dylan: Here we go!
Jamie: And more...woh! Too far!
Dylan: Sorry!

[screams as she comes]
Dylan: What's wrong?
Jamie: [screams] Nothing!
Dylan: Well, women start to scream, it could be misconstrued!
Jamie: [screams] Just keep going!

[as she goes down on him]
Dylan: Let me tell you how I like it. See, most girls think you should start off soft. But if you just get in...go for it!
[it doesn't take long before he comes and sneezes as he comes]

Jamie: Okay. So about what happened...
Dylan: It was crazy and we shouldn't have done it.
Jamie: Exactly! No! No! Exactly! It is so not me!
Dylan: I totally agree. Lets forget it happened.

Dylan: I was gonna call you this morning.
Jamie: But you didn't.
Dylan: But I didn't.
Jamie: And you see, it's already coming between us and I really...I just don't want it to.
Dylan: It's not going to.
Jamie: Look, I know that I act all tough and I talk all tough, but really...
Dylan: It's just a front to protect yourself from your own vulnerability.
Jamie: What are you, my fucking therapist now?
Dylan: No! I'm a friend. Who knows that everytime you curse, you blink. Like you're body is rejecting the word.
Jamie: It does not! Fuck you!
Dylan: Blinked.
Jamie: No, I didn't fucking blink.
Dylan: Blinked again!
Jamie: Shit!
Dylan: Ah! Didn't blink! 'Shit' you're okay with.

Dylan: It was stupid.
Jamie: Yes.
Dylan: We're friends. Let's stay friends.
Jamie: Yes, please. I don't wanna lose this.
Dylan: Me, neither.

[as they're making out again he notices she has a tattoo of a small dog on her waistline]
Dylan: I didn't know you had a tattoo?
Jamie: Yeah.
Dylan: Why didn't I notice that before?
Jamie: Because we were drunk.
Dylan: Is it your dog?
Jamie: No. Never had one. But everyone else did and I thought having a dog might get a normal family. Which at seventeen I desperately wanted.
Dylan: So as a sign of rebellion you got a tattoo of the most conventional thing you could think of.
Jamie: It was super awesome back then.

[referring to the tattoo on his waistline of a small yellow lightning bolt]
Dylan: Check it.
Jamie: A lightning bolt?
Dylan: Eighteen. Wanted super powers.
Jamie: Yeah.
Dylan: I was a little into Harry Potter back then.
Jamie: Were you also gay back then?
Dylan: Harry Potter doesn't make you gay!
Jamie: Okay.

[as they're having sex]
Jamie: My butt!
Dylan: What?
Jamie: Oh! My butt!
Dylan: Really?
Jamie: No! I mean, my butt's cramped! Can you grab a pillow?
Dylan: Yeah. Yeah.
[as he puts a pillow under her butt]
Dylan: So, no butt?
Jamie: No!

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Total Quotes: 106

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