hail-caesar

Starring: Josh Brolin, George Clooney, Channing Tatum, Tilda Swinton, Ralph Fiennes, Alden Ehrenreich, Scarlett Johansson, Jonah Hill, Frances McDormand, Christopher Lambert, Clancy Brown

OUR RATING: ★★½

Story: Comedy drama written, produced, and directed by Joel and Ethan Coen in which the story is set in the latter years of Hollywood’s Golden Age in 1950s and follows a single day in the life of a studio fixer Eddie Mannix (Josh Brolin) as he goes about fixing problems, including the kidnapping of famous movie star Baird Whitlock (George Clooney) by a group calling itself The Future.

Verdict: Coen brothers comedy which is set during the ‘golden age’ of Hollywood with a great ensemble cast but for me sadly the comedy felt largely flat and the story was just messy and underwhelming. Nothing of consequence happens, it just feels like a series of gags patched together and edited into a movie. The movie boasts a great cast but the only one that really stood out was Alden Ehrenreich who saved this movie from being a complete waste of time. For a Coen brothers movie this definitely is not one of their best.

REVIEWS

 

Best Quotes   (Total Quotes: 16)


 

Eddie Mannix: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
Priest: How long since your last confession, my son?
Eddie Mannix: Twenty-seven hours.
Priest: It’s really too often. You’re not that bad.


 

Eddie Mannix: Here at Capitol Pictures, as you know, millions of people look to us for information, and uplift, and, yes, entertainment. And we’re gonna give it to ’em.


 

Eddie Mannix: An army of technicians and actors, and top notch artistic people are working hard to bring to the screen our biggest release of the year. Hail, Caesar! is a prestige picture with one of the biggest stars in the world: Baird Whitlock.


 

[reading the ransom note]
Eddie Mannix: We have your movie star. Gather one hundred thousand dollars and await instructions. Who are we? The Future.


 

Eddie Mannix: The studio needs your help, Baird Whitlock has been kidnapped. It’s been twenty-four hours, but we’re looking for him.


 

Eddie Mannix: We don’t want it in the gossip columns.
DeeAnna Moran: This is gonna cost the studio a lot of money.
Eddie Mannix: And that’s where you come in. I need some cash.


 

DeeAnna Moran: You must have very strong forearms. Is it hard squeezing it like that?
Accountant: It’s part of the job, miss.


 

Hedda Hopper: I’d like to know what the hell is going on here. Twenty million readers want the truth, Eddie!
Eddie Mannix: Truth, yes. Mm.
[Mannix starts rushing off]
Hedda Hopper: Eddie?


 

Laurence Lorenz: This is a drama, Mannix. A real drama.


 

[playing a scene in a movie Tobey enters the living room]
Dierdre: Oh, Monty, come join me on the divan.
[Toby sits next to Dierdre on the divan]
Dierdre: It seems Allegro is a no show which is simply a bore. But I’ll partner you in bridge.
Tobey: Ha!
[in a thick Southern American accent]
Tobey: Would that it were so simple.
Laurence Lorenz: Cut.


 

Laurence Lorenz: Alright, alright. Let’s try this. Your line, just say it as I say it. Say your line exactly as I’m about to.
Tobey: Okay, sure.
[in a crisp British accent]
Laurence Lorenz: Would that it were so simple.
[tries to do it in a British accent but still has his Southern drawl]
Tobey: Would that it were so simple.
Laurence Lorenz: Would that t’were so simple.
Tobey: Wou…would that it were…
Laurence Lorenz: Wait, watch my mouth. Would that it were so simple.
Tobey: Would that t’were so simple.
Laurence Lorenz: Would that it were so simple.
Tobey: Would that t’were so simple.
Laurence Lorenz: My dear, why do you say that? Why do you say “t’were”?
Tobey: Well, you said say it like I say it.
Laurence Lorenz: Yes, but…
Tobey: Would that t’were so simple…
Laurence Lorenz: No, no, you seem to be lingering. It’s interminable the “were”, I’m wondering when it’ll end and we shouldn’t be wondering, should we? We should be marching right along to “so simple.” Would that it were so simple, trippingly.
Tobey: Would that t’were so simpletrippingly.
Laurence Lorenz: No, don’t say the word “trippingly,” say the line trippingly.


 

Tobey: Gosh, I can’t seem to saddle up on this one, Larry.
Laurence Lorenz: Would that it were so simple.
[lifting his hand like Larry as he says it]
Tobey: Would that t’were so simple.
[Larry slaps his hand down]
Laurence Lorenz: Keep your hand down!


 

[Larry continues to say the line with Tobey trying but failing to say it like him]
Laurence Lorenz: Would that it were so simple.
Tobey: Would that t’ were so simple.
Laurence Lorenz: Would that it were so simple.
Tobey: Would that t’were so simple.
Laurence Lorenz: Would that it were so simple.
Tobey: Would that it…
Laurence Lorenz: Would that it were so simple.
Tobey: Would that t’were…
Laurence Lorenz: Would that it were so simple.
Tobey: Would that t’were so simple!


 

[finally we see the final footage of the movie where Tobey is supposed to say his line]
Tobey: It’s… complicated.


 

Catholic Clergyman: Christ is more properly referred to as the son of God.
Eddie Mannix: Not sure I follow, Padre.
Rabbi: Young man, you don’t follow for a very simple reason; these men are screwballs. God has children? What, and a dog? A collie, maybe? God doesn’t have children. He’s a bachelor. And very angry.
Protestant Clergyman: He used to be angry.
Rabbi: What, he got over it?
Catholic Clergyman: You worship the god of another age!
Protestant Clergyman: Who has no love!
Rabbi: Not true! He likes Jews.


 

Protestant Clergyman: Who plays Christ?
Eddie Mannix: A kid we’re all very excited about, Todd Hocheiser, a wonderful young actor we found in Akron, Ohio, after a nationwide talent hunt. But Hocheiser is seen only fleetingly and with extreme taste. Our story is told through the eyes of a Roman tribune, Autochlus Antonius, an ordinary man, skeptical at first, but who comes to a grudging respect for this swell figure from the East.


Total Quotes: 16

 

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