The Hangover 2
quotes are pretty much a repetitious rehash of the first movie. The
story used the same ingredients as the first movie's plot but just set
in a different location. If you enjoyed watching the first movie then I
can only say it's best to not expect anything better. Although the
movie certainly fails in providing anything original, it
still offer some funny moments so you won't feel totally cheated. If
you're looking for a Hangover
deja vu, then keep on reading to view The Hangover 2
by: Todd Phillips
Jon Lucas (characters)
Scott Moore (characters) Starring: Bradley Cooper
Ed Helms - Stu
Zach Galifianakis - Alan
Justin Bartha - Doug
Ken Jeong - Mr. Chow
Paul Giamatti - Kingsley
Mike Tyson - Himself
Jeffrey Tambor - Sid Garner
Mason Lee - Teddy
Jamie Chung - Lauren
Sasha Barrese - Tracy
Gillian Vigman - Stephanie
Aroon Seeboonruang - Monk
Nirut Sirichanya - Fohn
Yasmin Lee - Kimmy
[first lines; Stu's
answering message] Voice on voicemail:
Hi, you've reached the office of Dr. Stuart Price. Please note the
office will be closed until the twenty fourth. If it's an emergency
[Stu's cell phone
answering message] Stu:
Hi, this is Dr. Stuart Price. I'm getting married, so I'll be
of the country for two weeks. I'm not sure if I'll have cell service.
If this is a dental emergency please...
referring to Stu] Fohn:
I looked into this eyes. They're not the eyes of a man. The eyes of a
[Tracy answers her cell
phone] Tracy: Phil? Phil: Tracy,
I'm sorry. Tracy: Where
the hell are you? Phil: It
happened again! Tracy: Don't
say that. Please! Phil: No!
This time we really fucked up! Tracy: Seriously,
what is wrong with you three? Phil: So
much, Trace, I don't even know where to begin. Tracy: Oh,
God! How bad? Like no wedding bad? Phil: Yeah!
Little worse than that.
[looking into Phil's
mouth] Stu: You
really need to floss more. Phil: Fuck
that! That's why I come here. Stu: Well,
then you should come more than once every two years. Phil: Why?
So you could bleed me of all my money? Stu: I
never charge you a dime, Phil.
[referring to why he
chose to get married in Thailand] Stu: But
it's where her parents are from and it means a lot them. Phil: Who
gives a shit about her parents? And her dad hates you. Stu: He
doesn't hate me. He's just never spoken to me. I think it's cultural
think. Phil: Why
can't you just get married in Vegas, like you did last time? It's so
much easier. Stu: Why
can't you just be excited for me? This is my wedding! Phil: You
really happy, huh? Stu: I
[just as Phil is leaving
Stu's dental office] Stu: Phil? Phil: Hmm? Stu: Put
the prescription pad back. [Phil comes back,
reaches into the front of his pants and pulls out the
pad] Stu: Thank
you. You know that's a felony, right?
Fuck you, man! [Phil walks out of the
office again] Stu: Was
this right up against your scrotum? [as he's walking away] Phil: Yep.
[Doug is trying to
convince Stu to invite Alan to his wedding] Stu: No
fucking way! Absolutely not! Doug: Come
on, Stu! It's killing him! Stu: I
don't care. Honestly, the two of you were barely invited. Phil: Woh! Doug: I get
it. I really do. It's just, you know what? Alan considers you to be one
of his best friends. Stu: I
consider Alan to be insane. Phil: Stu,
throw him a bone! Doug already said his dad would pay for everything he
eats and everything breaks. Stu: Umhumm.
[as they are sat at
dinner eating lunch] Stu: I'm
glad you brought that up. Because this is the bachelor party. Doug: What? Phil: What
are you talking about? Stu: Yeah!
It's my bachelor brunch. Go crazy. Get some chocolate chip pancakes, a
lap dance from the waitress. Phil: That's
bullshit! You can't just skip out of a bachelor party, Stu. Stu: Do you
see that? [pointing to his glass
of orange juice] Stu: That's
orange juice with a napkin on top. Do you know why? So nobody roofies
me. Phil: Well,
I refuse to eat fucking cantaloupe at a bachelor party!
[after Stu's told them
that eating at the diner is his bachelor party] Doug: Come
on, Stu! Don't you think you're over reacting? Stu: No,
I don't. I'm still putting the broken pieces of my psyche back
together. And you know what the glue is? Lauren! And I'm not doing
anything to screw that up. Phil: Oh,
please! You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us. Stu: Oh,
this will be good! Phil: Stu,
think about it. You ended up ditching Melissa and two years later you
meet your true soul mate. You take Vegas out of that equation, you
would have married a cunt! [the table next to them
gives Phil a look] Phil: [sarcastically]
Oh, it's okay. No! No! I'm allowed to say it. It's a bachelor party.
Drink up, everybody. Oh wait! There's no alcohol. I forgot. We're at a
fucking IHOP. Stu: Well,
it's my decision. And it's final. So, how about a toast? Phil: This
sucks! I'm gonna wait in the car.
Alan's been waiting for the invite ever since he got wind of the
wedding. Stu: I'm
sure he has. Sid Garner: Yeah.
He's been standing outside by the mail box everyday. Phil: Wow!
That rough. Sid Garner: Yeah.
I uh...I'm not quite sure he ever left Vegas, you know? He really needs
[entering Alan's bedroom
who's still living with his parents] Phil: Pretty
cool room, Alan. Alan: Oh,
thanks Phil. My dad pays my rent. [looking at the photo's
stuck on the walls of Alan's room] Doug: Alan,
what the fuck? [referring to the
photo's they'd taken whilst on roofie during the Vegas bachelor party] Doug: You
were supposed to delete these! You made a promise Stu: Woh!
Woh! Woh! What the hell? I'm not cool with this all! You can't have
these! Alan: Relax,
Stu. Nobody ever comes in here. Stu: Total
violation of trust!
[as Alan's mum comes to
collect his lunch dishes] Alan: I
guess we don't do desert anymore. I didn't get that memo. Linda Garner:
Well, I'm sorry darling. I'll be right back. [as she turns to leave] Alan: Would
a cupcake kill you?
[to Alan] Doug: Stu
would like to invite you to his wedding. Stu: Well
only if you’re not busy. Phil: Stu? Stu: Well,
maybe the Jonas Brothers are in town. Alan: Nope,
they’re in Raleigh, Durham that weekend.
[after Doug has told him
Stu has invited him to the wedding] Alan: Are
you really being serious, Stu? You're inviting me? Stu: Yeah,
why not? It'll be fun, right? Alan: Phil,
are you going? Phil: Of
course! Alan: Then
it will be fun. [he suddenly grabs a
syringe from his fridge, stabs himself with the needle and injects
himself] Stu: Ah! Phil: Wow!
What the fuck are you doin', man? Alan: It's
my immunizations. It's the last day I can do it. Stu: That's
supposed to be done by a registered nurse! Alan: I'm a
nurse. I'm just not registered.
Alan, my bride's little brother is coming to the wedding. Is that okay
with you? Alan: Just
the first time I've heard of it. You could have paged me.
introduced to Stu's finance's younger brother] Alan: So
what are you a doctor? Teddy: No.
Not yet. I'm pre-med. Alan: Ever
heard of that guy, Doogie Howser? Teddy: Yeah. Alan: Well,
he turned out to be a gay. Doug: Alan! Alan: It's
true. I read it in Teen People.
mind if I sit? Alan: Wolfpack
only. Find another chair.
know, between Teddy and me you must be pretty excited. Pretty soon
you'll have two doctors in the family. Fohn: You
to realize that in my country we don't consider dentist to be
a real doctor. Lauren: Dad! Stu: Okay. Fohn:Anyway, I
have to go and talk to Teddy about his chello performance tonight.
[as he hangs up talking
to his dad Alan walks over to Stu and Lauren] Alan: That
was uh...my dad. I'm a stay at home son. We were discussing your
wedding gift. He's sparing no expense. Stu: Oh!
That's so unnecessary. Alan: I've
been uh...meaning to ask someone, I noticed that this is a fishing
village, is there a Long John Silvers on the island? Lauren: You
know, no, I don't think so. I'm so sorry. Stu: But we
are actually serving some great fresh sea food. Alan: Better
than Long John's? Stu: Yes. Alan: I'll
be the judge of that. Enjoy your evening. Lauren: You
too. [he suddenly grabs
Lauren's wine glass and walks away with it]
[at Stu's pre-wedding
dinner, Lauren's father stands to give a speech] Fohn: I
admit it. When I first met Stu I was not quite sold. He seemed
unattractive. He lacked intelligence and imagination. He was missing
spark you look for in a man. But then I look into Stu's eyes, he
reminded me of my sweet brother, Chio. For those who do not know,
Chio is learning disabled and lives in group home. [Alan laughs] Fohn: But
Chio loves khao and that's when I realized, Stu is khao. [Stu whispers to Lauren] Stu: What's
khao? Fohn: Khao
is soft white rice in lukewarm water. It has no taste. Befitted to
small babies and very old people. It is nourishment that everyone can
digest. The world needs khao, just as the world needs people like Stu. [he raises his champagne
glass] Fohn: To my
sweet daughter and Stu. Congratulations.
[Alan stands up to read
his speech at Stu's pre-wedding
Hey, everybody. Here's some fun facts. The population of Thailand is
sixty three million people. It is twice the size of
Wyoming. It's chief exports are textiles, footwear and rice. Each year,
approximately thirteen thousand people are killed in car accidents in
Thailand. The climate in Thailand... Doug: Alan?
Uh...Alan, do you wanna skip to the last card there, buddy? Alan: Okay.
Sorry. [he goes to read from
his last card] Alan: None
of you know Stu like I do. Not you! Not you! Not you! Not you! Not
nobody knows Stu like I do. No one! I can't even tell you what
we've been through, cause we made a pact more important than blood.
What I can tell you is this;
this is not Stu's first marriage.There was a whore in Las Vegas a
couple of years... [the table goes quit,
Phil gets up to
stop Alan from talking any further] Phil:[whispering] Times
up. Times up.
uncle Roger said that he once saw a albino polar bear. Stu: Really?
Polar bears are white. How would he know if it's an albino? Alan: Well
this one was black. Stu: Do you
think maybe he was just a black bear? Alan: Whatevs.
[sitting around a camp
fire at night on the beach] Phil: Now,
can we have our one fucking beer then? Stu: Umhumm. Phil: All
right. Toast. [he gets up] Phil: Come
on stand up, guys. [they all gets up to
join him] Phil: Come
over here, Alan. To Lauren and Stu. You did it, buddy. Stu: Sure
did. [they all raise their
[the morning after their
night on the beach] Alan: Phil,
I think it's happened again! Phil: Alan,
what the fuck did you do? Alan: I
didn't do anything. I swear to God!
You're hair is gone. [Alan not realizing he's
completely bald touches his beard] Phil:
No! No! Up. [Alan touches his head
and laughs] Phil: Where
the fuck are we? [suddenly the lights in
their motel room goes out] Alan: Phil,
[Phil and Alan find Stu
sleeping in their motel room bath tub] Phil:
Stu! Come on, get up. We got a situation. [Stu wakes and
to face them, the right side of his face has
been tattooed] Phil: Oh!
Holy shit! Stu: Where
are we? [he looks around and
notices Alan is bald] Stu: Oh, my
God! Alan, your head! Alan: No,
your head! [to Phil] Stu: He's
Stu. You're gonna freak out, but it's gonna be okay. Stu: Why?
Is it my teeth? Phil: No.
It's not your teeth.
[after trying to wash
the tattoo off his face Stu looks at himself in
the mirror and screams] Stu:
This is a real tattoo! Alan, what did you do? Did you roofie
me? Alan: I
didn't do anything!
[Doug calls Phil on his
cell from the hotel resort] Doug: What's
going on? Where are you guys? Phil: I
don't know, man! We woke up in some shit hole room in some city. Doug: Oh,
God! What city? Phil: I
don't know, Doug! Fuckin' Asia town!
[continuing to talk to
Doug on his cell]
don't get it, man. I mean we each had one beer last night, right? I
mean, you too! Doug: Yeah.
But I left early, remember? Phil: I
don't remember shit! Doug: Tracy
wasn't feeling well, she came down to get me. Wait a second, is Teddy
with you guys? Phil: Teddy?
What? What are you talkin' about? [Phil notices a severed
finger with a ring on it and takes it to look at it] Doug: He
wasn't in his room. They've been looking for him all morning. Phil: Teddy
went to Stanford, right? Doug: Yeah.
Why? [suddenly he throws the
finger away] Phil: Fuck!
I just found his finger!
[looking at something
pocking out from between the sheets on the floor] Phil: What
is that? Stu: We
don't know. Phil: Is it
a worm? Alan: It's
a mushroom. [touches the tip with
his finger and then puts his finger in his mouth to taste] Alan: Yeah.
Shitake. [the monkey goes and
sits on top of th object] Alan:
Monkey, taste it. What do you think? Is this shitake? Phil: He
can't understand you. [the monkey then goes
and tastes the object] Stu: He
just did! Why is he pulling on it? Alan: He's
probably hungry. [Phil looks closely at
what the monkey is pulling] Phil: Wait
a second! Is that...? [the monkey suddenly hit
what looks like a small penis and we hear a scream] Mr. Chow:
What the fuck, man? Tell that gay monkey to leave my shit alone! Phil: Chow?
what the fuck are you doing here? Mr. Chow: Alan,
called me a few days ago and invited me to wedding. Stu: Excuse
me? Alan: What?
He's my plus one. Stu: You
didn't have a plus one. It's two hundred dollars a plate!
what happened? Mr. Chow: You
guys texted me. Said you fucked up and looking to party! [he starts laughing and
Alan also starts to laugh] Mr. Chow: I
picked you up in my boat and I brought you here to Bangkok. And we had
a sick night, bitches!
in Bangkok? Mr. Chow: Holla!
City of Squalor!
Stu: Do you
know how I got this tattoo? Mr. Chow: Uh...yeah!
From a fucking tattoo guy! Come on, Stuey! Use the big Jewish brain.
what' the monkey holding? [they look round and
notice the monkey is holding a severed finger ] Stu: Haah!
That's a finger!
dead? Mr. Chow: Teddy
not dead. He party with us all night! Phil: Well
then, where is he? Mr. Chow: Don't
you remember anything? Stu: No! Phil: No.
Nothing, Chow. Mr. Chow: Okay.
Okay. I explain it all, okay? Just let me do one bump. Get my head
straight. [he puts a massive line
of cocaine powder on the back of his hand] Mr. Chow: Come
to papa. Okay. Phil: That's
a big... [Chow snorts the cocaine
and wipes his nose] Mr. Chow: You
ready for craziest fucking story ever.... [suddenly he chokes and
Stu: I can't
believe this is happening again! Phil: Okay.
Look, we'll handle this. You get back there. You tell them that Alan
and I got drunk with him, we're still partying. You gotta go get
married. Stu: No!
not going back without Teddy. It's Laura's little brother, he's lost!
He's injured! If I fuck this up, I lose everything. Phil: Okay.
Stu: Phil I
really think we should go to the American Consulate. Phil: For
what? Report a dead body who was shoved into an ice machine? Stu: Well,
what are we gonna do? Keep walking around in circles? Cause that real
productive! Phil: You
know, I'm trying to figure this thing out here. Your attitude is not
helping! Stu: Well,
I'm sorry! It's a hundred degrees and we don't have a plan. [pointing to Alan] Stu: And
all we've done is buy him a hats and sodas. Alan:What? It's
a bag of Fanta!
right! What do you wanna do, Stu? Stu: I
don't know! Phil: Well
then stop yelling at me like it's my fucking fault! Stu: It is
your fault! All I wanted was a bachelor brunch!
[to the old man that was
released to them from police custody instead of Teddy] Stu: Do you
know where our friend is? Teddy? He's missing! Phil: Stu,
forget it! The guy's worthless. Stu: He
knows something! He's wearing Teddy's sweatshirt. What if just doesn't
understand? Uh...I'll...I'll act it out. Yeah! Like charades. Watch. [turning to the old man] Stu: Two
words. Alan: Is it
a movie? Stu: This
is not for you, Alan.
[turning to the old
man and pointing to Teddy's ID picture and miming] Stu: American
teenager in Asia. Alan: Karate
Kid with Jaden Smith. It's easy cause you're talking through it. Phil: Stu,
it's a waste of time. Just leave this fucking guy here.