by Jeremy smith (Canada)


Just take in the fact that Sponge Bob has the highest Rotten Tomatoes rating of all the movies that came out last week, saying that I am not sitting through an 1:30 Nickelodeon cartoon unless it’s Avatar, so today I saw Jupiter Ascending.

Jupiter Ascending follows Jupiter Jones, young woman who is unsatisfied with her life so far, she meets a man from another planet, played Channing Tatum and finds out she is the reincarnation of a royal figure from another world and legally owns the Earth, then stuff happens.

The reason I say “then stuff happens” is because that what the movie felt like, a lot of stuff just happening because it’s a movie and stuff needs to happen in a movie. There’s a lot going on in Jupiter Ascending and the movie really lacks focus. Things happen ranging from in fighting between royal siblings to Jupiter selling her eggs to fund her cousin’s big dreams.

So much happens that certain details start to just get lost in the mix. And the movie drags on for a long time, certain sections feel like they could be cut out completely. There is even one part that goes on for at least half an hour just to end and go nowhere with no relevance to the overarching “plot”. As I start to think of the movie the more things just don’t feel relevant at all. The movie wants to be really ambitious and create this crazy world and at times it does work, but the writers needed to cut some stuff out and focus their script to make a movie with a clear point A and B.

The characters in the movie are alright, I did like Jupiter and I didn’t mind Tatum, but I don’t feel like any of the characters really worked. Some of the interactions between Jupiter and Tatum were just straight up uncomfortable. There whole romance just felt like it was there because it needed to be.

With all of this movie faults the visuals were still pretty cool. All of the gadgets and weapons all looked interesting and we’re pretty unique. The visuals were really the high point of the movie, the world the film makers created were cool and kept my attention. The action was a bit over the top, but pretty awesome, a few high flying action scenes never hurt a movie.

Overall Jupiter Ascending is a bit of a mess, but it is a fun and pretty mess. It is fun and colorful, even if it isn’t always the most put together movie.

63% – it’s OK but I definitely wouldn’t rush to see it.


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