Megamind Quotes(Page 2)
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Hal: Is this some kind of dream?
[Megamind’s disguised as Jor-El]
Megamind: This is a dream come true. You’ve been blessed with unfathomable power.
Hal: What kind of power?
Megamind: Unfathomable. It’s unf…with…without fathom.
Megamind: Yeah, we’ve come to guide you on your path to be Metro City’s new hero and battle the super genius of Megamind!
[after his attempts to train Hal to be a super hero]
Megamind: He’s hopeless. Hopeless!
Minion: Maybe we should change tactics.
Megamind: You think so?
Minion: Oh, you know how boys are.
[Megamind gets a text message from Roxanne asking him to meet her]
Minion: They love video games. I could throw a few parts together…
[Megamind types back a reply text]
Megamind: Can’t wait. LOL. Smiley face.
Minion: Can’t wait for what, sir?
[Megamind disguised as Bernard is having dinner with Roxanne]
Megamind: [laughing] Aha! That was such a funny story! Huh! And brilliantly told by the way. Okay, now you tell one.
Roxanne Ritchie: Bernard, I never knew you were so funny.
Megamind: And I never heard you laugh before.
Roxanne Ritchie: Yeah, it’s been a while. Feels pretty good.
[Roxanne and Megamind disguised as Bernard are having a picnic]
Roxanne Ritchie: Okay, okay. Metro Man and I were never a couple.
Megamind: But I thought you two…
Roxanne Ritchie: I know, everybody did, it’s just he was never really my type.
Roxanne Ritchie: Yeah. Okay, now you tell me something. Something you’ve never told anyone.
Megamind: Well, in shh…school none of the other kids really liked me. I was always the last one picked for everything.
Roxanne Ritchie: Mmm, it’s too bad that we didn’t go to the same school.
[Megamind disguised as Jor-El gives Hal a present box]
Megamind: Hal, I think you’re ready for this.
[Hal opens and takes out a really small super hero costume]
Hal: Do I have a son?
Megamind: No. Ha…ha! You make me laugh. It stretches, it’s for you.
Hal: Hey, what’s the T stand for?
Hal: Titan? What’s that supposed to mean?
Megamind: It was the only name I could trademark.
[Megamind is watching Roxanne on his many TV screens reporting news]
Roxanne Ritchie: The city’s parks restored to their original glory. The streets the safest they’ve been. The banks re-opened. Has something happened to Megamind? Has someone tamed this monster? This is Roxanne Ritchie, cautiously optimistic and pleasantly confused.
Minion: Well you seem in a very good mood tonight, sir.
Megamind: Ha? How long is this going to take, Minion?
[Minion is measuring Megamind]
Minion: Just a few alterations, sir, and I will be done with your most terrifying cape yet! I’m calling it Mambaaaaa…!
Megamind: Black Mamba. Perfect!
Minion: Where…where are you going, sir? We have our debut battle with Titan tomorrow morning. We haven’t even tested your big battle suite yet!
Megamind: You attend to the details, Minion. I have to…run a quick errand.
Minion: You don’t run errands. What’s going on here?
Minion: Oh, wait a minute!
[Minion smells Megamind]
Minion: Are you wearing Jean Paul Gaultier’s Pour Homme?
Megamind: It’s just my natural musk.
Minion: This is about Miss Ritchie, isn’t it? You’re going on a date with her!
Megamind: No, my main man! Get out of town!
Minion: Oh, this is bad. This is bad! You’ve fallen in love with her!
Megamind: You are forgetting your place, Minion! Now give me the keys!
[Minion stretches the arm in which his hand is holding the car key]
Minion: What happens when Roxanne finds out who you really are?
Megamind: She will never find out. That’s the point of lying!
[Megamind pushes a button on Minion robotic body which makes his stretched arm fall]
Megamind: Honestly, it I didn’t know any better, I’d think this was your first day of being evil.
Minion: I may not know much, but I do know this; the bad guy doesn’t get the girl.
Megamind: Maybe I don’t want to be the bad guy anymore.
Megamind: You heard me!
[in shock Minion whispers]
Minion: Who are you?
Minion: My soul purpose in life is to look after you!
Megamind: Well, I don’t need you to look after me.
Minion: What are…what are you saying? You don’t need me?
Megamind: Let me make it clear. Code; I don’t need you.
Minion: You know what? You know what? Code; I’ll just pack my things and go!
Megamind: Code; fine!
Minion: Code; fine back!
[just as Minion’s about to leave]
Minion: Well, good luck on your date!
Megamind: I will!
Minion: That doesn’t even make any sense!
Megamind: I know!
Roxanne Ritchie: Titan! What’s a Titan?
[Hal dressed in his Titan super hero costume floats up behind her]
Hal: My super ears are burning!
[Roxanne screams in shock]
Hal: I usually just sneak up on criminals. You haven’t been naughty, have you?
[Roxanne just looks at him in shock]
Hal: I’m totally messin’ with you. I’m totally messing with you. The name’s Titan.
Roxanne Ritchie: Titan!
Hal: You very own heroic guardian of pure awesome. What’s your name? I’m kiddin’, I know everything about you.
[after he’s grabbed Roxanne he’s holding her in his arms, flying over the city]
Hal: This must be very thrilling for you.
Roxanne Ritchie: What do you think you’re doing?
Hal: Oh, am I going to fast? You’re probably right, I should just rescue you a few times before we get all romantic.
[he drops her on purpose]
[he flies down and catches her to rescue her]
Hal: Saved. You are lucky to have such a hero here!
[after he’s rescued her from falling into the traffic below]
Hal: Woow! I’m sorry, what were you saying? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of me saving your life
Roxanne Ritchie: Put me down! Right now!
Hal: Okay. All right! All right. Hold on.
[he flies her onto top of a building and puts her down]
Roxanne Ritchie: Are you crazy?
Hal: I suppose I’m a little crazy…about you!
Roxanne Ritchie: Who are you? Really?
Hal: Oh, oh, right! Well, prepare to have your mind blown little lady.
[he takes off his face mask]
Roxanne Ritchie: Hal!
Hal: Yeah! Isn’t this great? Now there’s nothing keeping us apart.
Roxanne Ritchie: No, it’s not great.
Hal: Wow, our first fight. This is so us, we’re like an old married couple.
Roxanne Ritchie: Look, there is no ‘us’! Okay? There will never be an ‘us’.
Hal: But, I have powers! I have a cape! I’m the good guy!
[Megamind disguised as Bernard is waiting at the restaurant for Roxanne when she arrives late with wind swept hair]
Roxanne Ritchie: I’m sorry I’m late.
Megamind: Wow, your hair! It looks exciting
Roxanne Ritchie: Mmm, not the only exciting development of the night. Megamind’s created a new hero and I know why.
Roxanne Ritchie: It all makes sense now. He missed getting his butt kicked…
Roxanne Ritchie: …so he created a new hero…
Roxanne Ritchie: …to kick it for him!
[Megamind is about to drink when he spits it out in surprise]
Megamind: Wow! Who?
Roxanne Ritchie: Hal! Hal’s the worst possible person you could pick!
Megamind: Wow! That’s a lot to take in.
Roxanne Ritchie: It…it…it boggles my mind!
Megamind: I am extremely boggled. You know, I’m sure we’ll get to the bottom of who’s kicking whose butt. But in the meantime, let’s enjoy each other’s company.
Roxanne Ritchie: I’m sorry, Bernard. Of course, you’re right. You know, I could use a breather.
[she raises her champagne glass for a toast]
Roxanne Ritchie: To, Bernard. For being the only normal thing in my crazy, upside down world.
Megamind: To, being normal.
Roxanne Ritchie: Yes.
Megamind: Say I wasn’t so normal. Say I was bald and I had the complexion of…of a popular primary color as a random, non-specific example. Would you still enjoy my company?
Roxanne Ritchie: Of course! You don’t judge a book by its cover or a person from the outside.
Megamind: Aaah! That’s a relief to hear.
Roxanne Ritchie: You judge them based on their actions.
Megamind: Well, that seems kind of betty. Don’t you think?
[Roxanne laughs then kisses Megamind disguised as Bernard]
[as he’s kissing Roxanne he’s accidentally turned back into his real form and suddenly everyone in the restaurant realizes, Roxanne pushes him back]
Megamind: What? What?
[he looks down at his hands and realizes that he’s in his real form]
Megamind: Haaa! Aaah! Don’t look at me! Just…just a technical glitch! Don’t look yet.
[he presses buttons on his watch to try and turn himself back into Bernard, but he’s turned into the Warden]
Megamind: No, not that.
[he presses more buttons on this watch]
Megamind: Ooh! Ow!
[he’s then turned into Jor-El but he doesn’t realize and turns to Roxanne]
Megamind: Where were we?
[Roxanne throws a glass of water over him and he’s turned back into his real form]
Megamind: Now, now, hold on!
Roxanne Ritchie: You! Ooh!
[Roxanne leaves in anger]
Megamind: I can explain.
[Roxanne turns away in anger]
Megamind: What about everything you just said? About judging a book by its cover?
Roxanne Ritchie: Well, let’s take a look at the content then, shall we? You destroyed Metro Man, you took over the city, and then you actually got me to care about you! Why are you so evil? Tricking me! What could you possibly hoped to gain?
[Megamind looks at her sadly]
Roxanne Ritchie: Wait a minute. Uhhh! I don’t believe this. Do you really think that I would ever be with you?
Megamind: [sadly] No.
[Roxanne walks away from him]
[back at his lair]
Megamind: Okay, Minion! You were right! I was…less right! We should stick to what we’re good at. Being bad. Minion?
[after he’s put on his Black Mamba suit and prepared himself for his battle with Titan]
Megamind: Okay, Titan! It’s time to go down in style.
[after waiting for hours in his big battle suite, in the city, ready to do his battle with Titan]
Megamind: Uhhh! This is embarrassing!
[he gets up and walks in his big battle suite to get Hal]
Megamind: Wholly inconsiderate, bone-head, irresponsible, rude, unprofessional! That’s what this is!
[he crashes through the wall of Hal’s apartment]
Megamind: Would Metro Man have kept me waiting? Of course not! He was a pro!
[Hal is sitting in front of his TV playing a video game]
Hal: Hey, Megamind. You’re actually the guy I want to see. Also there’s a door here.
Megamind: Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for you?
Hal: No, no, no! I totally understand what you’re saying. Could you just…just shut up for one second, I’m trying to beat this.
Megamind: Were you even planning on showing up?
[looking at all the gadgets]
Megamind: Where did you get all this stuff?
Hal: It doesn’t belong to me.
Megamind: You stole it!
Hal: Pretty cool, right?
Megamind: No, no, no, no! You’re a hero!
Hal: Being a hero is for losers. It’s work, work, work, twenty-four-seven. And for what? I only took the gig to get the girl and it turns out Roxanne doesn’t want anything to with me.
Megamind: Roxanne Ritchie?
Hal: Yeah, Roxanne Ritchie. I saw her having dinner and making goo-googly eyes at some intellectual dweeb.
Hal: Who needs all that noise! That’s why I think we should team up.
Hal: With my power and your big-headedness we could rule the city!
Megamind: I can’t believe you. With all your gifts, all your powers and you…you squander them for your own personal gain.
Megamind: No! I forbid it! You’re the good guy I do something bad, and you come and get me. That’s why I created you!
Hal: Yeah, right! You’re nuts! Space dad told me…
Megamind: Look, I’m your space dad!
[he transforms into Jor-El]
Megamind: You should be more like Metro Man.
Hal: Ah! You tricked me!
Megamind: Ooh, you don’t like that, huh? Well, there’s more.
[he transforms into Bernard]
Megamind: I’m also the intellectual dweeb dating Roxanne.
Megamind: And we were smooching up…
[he transforms back into his real form]
Megamind: …a storm!
[when Hal hits him]
Megamind: And the hero strikes the first blow! But evil returns with a back hand!
[looking for Megamind]
Hal: Come out you little freak! I wanna see what that big brain looks like on the pavement.
[after they’ve ended their big battle]
Megamind: Oh, well done! I thought that battle went really, really well. I mean, I have a few notes…
Megamind: But they can wait. You can take me to jail now.
Hal: Oh, no, no, no! I was thinking more like the morgue. You’re dead!
Megamind: Woh, woh, woh! This isn’t how you play the game.
Hal: Game over!
[after big ball of copper has been dropped on Hal]
Megamind: Guess what, Buster Brown? It’s made from copper. You’re powerless against it. It’s the very same metal used to defeat…
[Hal’s fist punches out through the metal]
Megamind: …Metro Man!
Hal: You should stop comparing me to Metro Man.
Mayor: We’re saved! We’re saved! What’s your name new hero?
Hal: It’s Titan.
Mayor: Thank you. Thank you! Titan has freed us.
[the crowd of people in the city cheer]
Hal: Oh, I wouldn’t say free. More like, under new management.
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