New Year's Eve Movie Quotes: Corny Schmaltz!(Total Quotes: 96)
Directed by: Garry Marshall
Written by: Katherine Fugate
Jake T. Austin – Seth
James Belushi – Building Super
Halle Berry – Nurse Aimee
Jessica Biel – Tess Byrne
Jon Bon Jovi – Jensen
Abigail Breslin – Hailey
Chris “Ludacris” Bridges – Brendan
Robert De Niro – Stan Harris
Josh Duhamel – Sam
Zac Efron – Paul
Hector Elizondo – Kominsky
Cary Elwes – Stan’s Doctor
Carla Gugino – Spiritual Dr. Morriset
Katherine Heigl – Laura
Ashton Kutcher – Randy
Lonnie Rashid Lynn, Jr – Aimee’s Husband
Seth Meyers – Griffin Byrne
Alyssa Milano – Nurse Mindy
Lea Michele – Elise
Sarah Jessica Parker – Kim
Russell Peters – Chef Sunil
Michelle Pfeiffer – Ingrid
Ryan Seacrest – Himself
Yeardley Smith – Maude
Hilary Swank – Claire Morgan
Sofía Vergara – Ava
OUR REVIEW & RATING ★★☆☆☆
To say that New Year’s Eve movie quotes are full of schmaltz and cheese is an understatement! The movie provides the usual predictable clichéd confection with too many stars and storylines to get you fully engaged. The dialogue serves its purpose in repeatedly reminding us that second chances, hope and forgiveness can happen as one year ends and another one begins.
Verdict: It may have failed in providing us with anything new and inspiring but it’s definitely passed the test of providing unashamedly sentimental forgettable holiday flick.
Claire Morgan: [voice over] Some people swear there’s no beauty left in the world, no magic. Then how do you explain the entire world coming together on one night to celebrate the hope of a new year?
Radio Reporter Arthur: I’m talking to Claire Morgan, the new Vice President of the Times Square Alliance. So, big night?
Claire Morgan: Oh, I’d say that’s an understatement. Over a billion people from all over the world will have their eyes on us tonight as the ball drops, so I’d say that qualifies as a very big night.
[to the reporter]
Claire Morgan: Am I looking at the right spot for the camera?
Radio Reporter Arthur: Oh, um…we’re radio.
Claire Morgan: Right. Of course.
[in the waiting room of a hospital a very pregnant Tess overhears the conversation of another couple]
Grace Schwab: We’re gonna win the money.
Male Nurse: Of course you are.
Tess Byrne: What money?
Grace Schwab: Oh, the first baby delivered in the New Year at this hospital gets twenty five grand.
James Schwab: Oh, no, no, honey. I think it’s a little much less than that.
Grace Schwab: No, it’s twenty five grand.
[turning to his wife, Tess]
Griffin Byrne: Twenty five grand?
[to his wife, Grace]
James Schwab: Honey, you’re mistaken. It’s much less, plus after taxes and all the red tape you end up with no money. Did I forget to mention the news camera’s in your face right after giving birth? That’s horrible! It’s not worth it at all.
Grace Schwab: It’s twenty five grand. They could put the camera in my hooha and it’ll be worth it.
James Schwab: In your hooha?
[he starts laughing]
[when the other couple about to give birth leave the waiting room]
Tess Byrne: Let’s figure out how to induce.
Griffin Byrne: I will ask the nurse right now. This could pay off my student loan.
[talking on the phone]
Paul: What are we doin’ tonight?
Randy: You’re working, I’m not, so leave me alone.
Paul: Randy, listen to me. Don’t do this right now. Don’t go into your black hole. It’s midnight on New Year’s eve, we have to do something. It’s not an option. When did you start this anti New Year’s kick, bro? Get over yourself, now!
[Randy notices the apartment is heavily decorated for New Year’s and starts tearing down the decorations]
Randy: You know what? It’s not a kick, it’s a core tenant of my being. Like I said, I got the day off, so I’m gonna hang in our apartment by myself and do nothing and love it.
Paul: It’s my job, as your best friend, to just ignore you right now. Because you sound crazy!
Randy: I’m not being crazy!
Paul: Okay, I’m gonna find something so epic that you will not be able to say no.
Randy: I got a funny feeling, Paul, that I’m gonna say no.
Paul: You want to put the challenge flag in my face? Okay, I’ll call you back.
Randy: Save your minutes.
[Randy hangs up the phone and looks back at the Happy New Year sign that he’s now changed to Crappy New Year]
Randy: Now we’re talkin’!
[a couple get married in a tiny, empty church with Sam being the only guest]
Groom Rory: Well, you’re the last of us, Sam. Roam the planes of Manhattan, carry on the legacy of late night bar hopping and casual sex with random women in good shoes.
Bride Trish: Which Rory will never know again.
Sam: For better or worse, I can see why the man’s crazy about you.
[Sam watches as the couple kiss]
Sam: I’m outta here.
Groom Rory: Hey, you can’t stay for breakfast?
Sam: Rain check, pal. The office has been calling all morning. I really do gotta get back. I got that big speech tonight.
Bride Trish: What about the girl?
Sam: What girl?
Bride Trish: The one you met last New Year’s eve? Are you gonna meet her tonight.
Sam: That was a year ago. We’ve all moved on.
Laura: Alright, our first event with linen napkins. Not only are we now considered ecofriendly, but this will be our biggest A-list party to date! I know it’s cold, okay? But we cannot mess this up. So you gotta focus. Where is Ava?
Chef Sunil: She thinks she saw a celebrity somewhere.
Laura: There’s gotta be more celebrities here than rehab.
Chef Sunil: Mm.
Laura: Okay, Sunil. Make sure we all the booze on this list. Find Ava and then I’ll meet you in the lobby after I scout the kitchen.
[talking on walkie-talkie as Laura, who’s a chef, is preparing to cater for a big A-list party]
Ava: Oh, Laura! You are not going to believe who is here!
Ava: How did you know? Are you psychotic?
Laura: It’s psychic. And do me a favor, if you see him tell him to avoid the blond woman in the kitchen with the really big knife.
Ava: Ay, Laura, do you know him?
[just then Jensen walks into the kitchen]
Jensen: It’s good to see you, Laura.
[he smiles at her and she slaps him in the face, just then Ava’ voice comes through the walkie-talkie]
Ava: Are you still there? Do you think Jensen will sign a banana? I don’t have any paper!
[Paul is bringing a delivery to Ingrid, who’s a secretary at Ahern Records when notices her working on a list]
Paul: Working on those resolutions, huh?
Paul: Okay. I have a delivery here for a Mr. Jonathan Cox.
Ingrid: Do you work here?
Paul: No. I work for a courier service. I’ve been delivering packages to you for about, I don’t know, a year now. But I think this is maybe the first time you’ve ever looked me in the eye. How you doin’?
Ingrid: Sorry. It’s actually an old resolution to make more eye contact.
Paul: So those were New Year’s resolutions then, huh? That looks like a long list, you better get on it.
Ingrid: I don’t know. Maybe next year.
[Ingrid opens the package Paul just delivered which is tickets to a Mask Ball]
Paul: Woh! Jeez! Are you serious? That is a hot ticket.
Paul: It’s amazing. They got the best food, the best music. They got so many single girls and it’s a masquerade, so you don’t even have to really worry about their faces. You kind of just, you know, use your imagination. And then if anybody tries to kick you out, or if anyone asks who you are, you just straight up lie. What are they gonna do? It’s brilliant. It’s like Facebook, but real.
Ingrid: I remember who you are now.
Paul: Right! Exactly. Anyways, I would give my left…
[she slams the signature pad into his chest]
Paul: Well, maybe next year.
[Claire is trying to organize everything in Times Square when her friend Brendan shows up]
Claire Morgan: They’re testing the confetti for tonight.
[as she watches the confetti being thrown]
Claire Morgan: Don’t just dump them! Float them in the wind! They should be magical.
Jensen: That was quite a slap.
Laura: I’ve been plotting that slap all year. How I would walk up to you out of the blue when you least expect it and slap you across the face for leaving me like that. And you know what? It wasn’t nearly as satisfying as I thought it would be.
[suddenly she slaps him across the face again]
Laura: That was close enough.
[to Ava and Sunil who are watching them with interest]
Jensen: We’re just fooling around.
Ava: I like fooling around too.
Jensen: I tried to call you. You never called me back. I left you tickets, you never showed up. Talk to me dammit! Just talk to me!
Laura: Yes, talk to him!
Laura: What? Cause it’s New Year’s Eve you want another shot at it? You walked out on me, Daniel. I think that says it all. You know, I didn’t even get to make you one dinner in our apartment. You walked out before I unpacked the first bag of groceries.
Ava: Celebrities! They’re just like us.
Ingrid: Mr. Cox, is there a reason you asked me to work today?
Mr. Cox: It’s your job.
Ingrid: Of course. It’s just that it’s New Year’s Eve and I thought maybe you wanted to give me my end of year bonus, seeing that it’s the end of the year?
Mr. Cox: Oh! Right! Almost slipped my mind.
[he takes out his check book and start writing a check]
Ingrid: Glad to remind you, sir.
Mr. Cox: Well, unfortunately it has been a tough year for Ahern Records. I don’t have to tell you. Music piracy, blah-blah-blah!
[he gives Ingrid the check for her bonus, she reads it looking disappointed]
Mr. Cox: Did I get your name right?
Ingrid: Yes. It’s just that I wanted to use my bonus to book a trip.
Mr. Cox: Well, that might get you to Staten Island. Maybe next year.
Ingrid: It’s just that I already booked my two weeks vacation time.
Mr. Cox: Two weeks? Did I…did I sign off?
Ingrid: You don’t need to, sir. It goes through Human Resources.
Mr. Cox: No! It goes through me and…and I can’t do without you for two weeks! You can have one week.
Ingrid: Well, then I’ll take two weeks and my stapler. I quit.
Mr. Cox: You can’t quit! It’s Grammy season!
Ingrid: I…I almost died today, sir.
Mr. Cox: No. No. You look fine. Can you get me a coffee? Don’t forget the sugar!
[Ingrid turns, goes to her desk and starts packing her stuff]
[as Laura’s throwing eggs at a poster of Jensen on the kitchen wall]
Laura: I’ve hated him for leaving me like that!
Ava: No. No. You didn’t.
Laura: And then he just shows up on the biggest night of my career! What kind of Karma is that, huh?
Ava: What? Did you mean making love with Jensen or that you’re catering the biggest party in the city? Cause all I’m hearing is good!
[Laura throws another egg at Jensen’s poster]
Ava: Can do I one?
Ava: Are they expensive eggs?
Laura: They feel good.
[Ava throws an egg aiming for the poster but it splatters on the floor instead]
Laura: Oh, that was so sissy.
Ava: I’m a delicate girl.
[at a hospital, Stan Harris is lying in bed very ill with a doctor checking up on him]
Stan’s Doctor: Yes, Mr. Harris?
Stan Harris: I haven’t asked you for anything have I?
Stan’s Doctor: No. No, you haven’t. No chemo, no radiation, even though they could give you an extra couple of months.
Stan Harris: So then you owe me one.
Stan’s Doctor: Sure, Mr. Harris. What do you need?
Stan Harris: Did I tell you why I picked this hospital?
Stan’s Doctor: Cause of the quality of the doctors?
Stan Harris: The roof has a great view of the New Year’s Eve ball drop in Times Square. I heard you say I was living on borrowed time.
Stan’s Doctor: I don’t recall telling you that.
Stan Harris: I heard you tell the nurses. I’m dying, I’m not deaf.
Stan’s Doctor: Well, you certainly surprise us, Mr. Harris. But be honest, there really isn’t anyone we can notify? No one at all?
Stan Harris: You know, the people that ever cared about me I pissed off long ago. There’s no one.
Stan Harris: Doc, come on. Call it a dying man’s last wish. Please, come on? I’ve been hanging on this all year so I can see the ball drop one more time.
Stan’s Doctor: You know it’s cold out there.
Stan Harris: I’ll live.
Stan’s Doctor: You can see much better on TV, you know?
Stan Harris: I don’t wanna see it on TV, doc. Please?
Stan’s Doctor: As much as I’d like to help you, it’s against hospital policy to allow anyone on the roof.
Stan Harris: Forget it. Forget I asked.
Stan’s Doctor: Okay. Is there anything else you need?
Stan Harris: No. Nothing.
Stan’s Doctor: Just have the nurses page me, okay?
[leaving a voice message for Paul]
Randy: Another thing that chafes my ass about the holiday season is all the fake messages. Like today, I received fifty text messages with a generic ‘Happy New Year’, from people who had sent it to their entire address book. Most of them I haven’t heard from since last year! Call me back.
[Randy takes the elevator to throw away the bag of decorations he tore down and Elise from another apartment is in the same elevator, halfway down the elevator stops and Elise tries the service phone]
Elise: This thing is dead!
Randy: It doesn’t work.
Elise: Well, call the super!
Randy: He don’t work either.
[looking at his cell phone]
Randy: No reception. So you’re the new girl from five B.
Elise: Why aren’t you panicked right now?
Randy: Ah, I don’t know. I don’t really have anywhere to be.
[Elise starts to panic and calls out for help]
[at the hospital the doctor is checking Tess]
Spiritual Dr. Morriset: Labor could be any day now.
Tess Byrne: Any day?
Spiritual Dr. Morriset: Don’t worry. I know you wanna have a very natural child birth. No epidural, no Pitocin. We’re gonna use the hypno birthing techniques.
Tess Byrne: You know what? We were actually just kind of wondering if we could schedule a C-section. Just you know, kind of get this show on the road.
Tess Byrne: Am I right?
Griffin Byrne: Yeah.
Tess Byrne: Uh…we were thinking um…maybe tonight-ish? Midnight-ish?
Tess Byrne: Uh…right?
Griffin Byrne: Yeah. I think we’re both thinking that maybe tonight could work better. If we could do tonight, that would be great.
Spiritual Dr. Morriset: Tonight. Hmm. You want me to come in, on New Year’s Eve at midnight, and perform a C-section?
[looking fake shocked]
Tess Byrne: Is it New Year’s?
Griffin Byrne: It is. Yeah.
Tess Byrne: Oh, boy. Weird! I completely just forgot!
Griffin Byrne: I did too.
Griffin Byrne: See, we were never really New Year’s people. You know, we’re kind of more Memorial Day people.
Spiritual Dr. Morriset: Let me be clear. I will not schedule a C-section just so you can win some money. The couple who was in here before, they offered to split the winnings with me, and of course I said no. Frankly, I’m surprised that you even suggest this.
Griffin Byrne: What if we went sixty-forty?
[the doctor gives them a look]
Griffin Byrne: Seventy-thirty?
Tess Byrne: Yeah.
Spiritual Dr. Morriset: You’re dangerously close to a rectal exam.
Griffin Byrne: Oh, that’s not good.
[as they are taking the subway to get home]
Hailey: Mom, I wanna go to Times Square tonight to watch the ball drop.
Kim: Well, I plan to avoid this entire section of the city tonight.
Hailey: Okay, well I don’t want you to stay. I want you to go home.
Hailey: There’s this guy in my history class. His name is Seth and I, I’ve…I’ve been hoping, you know, I have this sick dream that, you know, we get to hang out at midnight. And then of course, you know, I’ll come right home.
Kim: Honey, I’m sorry. I’m just, I’m not comfortable allowing you to stay in Times Square at night alone. Period.
Hailey: End of discussion. Got it.
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