No Strings Attached Quotes: Cookie Cutter Plot

(Total Quotes: 90)
MOVIE INFO.

Directed by: Ivan Reitman
Written by:
Elizabeth Meriwether (screenplay & story)
Michael Samonek (story)
Starring:
Natalie Portman – Emma
Ashton Kutcher – Adam
Kevin Kline – Alvin
Cary Elwes – Dr. Metzner
Greta Gerwig – Patrice
Lake Bell – Lucy
Olivia Thirlby – Katie
Ludacris – Wallace
Jake M. Johnson – Eli
Mindy Kaling – Shira
Talia Balsam – Sandra Kurtzman
Ophelia Lovibond – Vanessa
Guy Branum – Guy
Ben Lawson – Sam
Jennifer Irwin – Megan
Adhir Kalyan – Kevin
Brian H. Dierker – Bones
Abby Elliott – Joy
Vedette Lim – Lisa
Dylan Hayes – Young Adam
Stefanie Scott – Young Emma
Mollee Gray – Sari
Derek Ferguson – Benji
Matthew Moy – Chuck
Tyne Stecklein – Victoria

OUR REVIEW & RATING ★★½

No Strings attached quotes brings absolutely nothing new to the romantic comedy genre. The story is pretty much a cookie-cutter plot with some good snappy one liners thrown in to bring in the much needed laughter.

This thinly stretched plot has been done over so many times that any audience watching it will know it off by heart. The only thing that saves it from total wasteland is the chemistry of the lead actors and the strong supporting cast.

Verdict: This is only recommended to the most die-hard fans of romantic comedies or if you just want to switch off your brain and watch some eye candy on display.

No Strings Attached Quotes Page  1   2


 

[first lines; at a camp party sitting alone together]
Young Adam: So, uh…I’m pretty good at archery.
Young Emma: Wow! That’ll be useful if you ever have a time machine and your time machine breaks and you’re stuck in the Medieval Ages.
Young Adam: You’re funny, it’s weird.
Young Emma: Yeah. I’m weird.
Young Adam: Me too.
Young Emma: Yeah, right. Everyone loves you and your dad’s like famous or something.
Young Adam: My parents are getting a divorce. That’s why I had to go to camp, so.
[Adam turns his face away looking upset and starts to cry]
Young Emma: Are you crying?
Young Adam: No.
[Emma sits closer to him and puts her hand on his shoulder]
Young Emma: Look, I’m not really an affectionate person. People aren’t meant to be together forever.
Young Adam: You think so?
Young Emma: Yeah.
Young Adam: Can I finger you?
Young Emma: No.


 

[after Emma arrives at a Frat party and recognizing Adam who’s dancing with a girl]
Patrice: Oh, my God! I told you that this was a pajama party, what are you wearing
[she unbuttons Emma’s coat and opens it and takes the coat off]
Patrice: What is this? You’re wearing an actual Long John? What? This is a Frat party, you just have to be drunk and look hot. Watch and learn.
[she gets up onto a table to get everyone’s attention at the party and shouts]
Patrice: Hey! Heeeyy! I’m so drunk!
[everyone at the party cheers]


 

Adam: Do I know you?
Emma: Hi, Adam Franklin of Camp Weehawken. I’m Emma Kurtzman. You tried to finger me!
Adam: Woh! Yeah! Wow! What are you…do you go here? What…what are you doing at party of Frats?
Emma: No, I go to…I go to M.I.T but um…I have this family thing and I grew up in
Adam: M.I.T! Wow! So you grew up to be a lot smarter than me.
Emma: Yeah, sometimes my neck gets sore.
Adam: Why?
Emma: Cause my brain’s so big.


 

Adam: I like you.
Emma: What? Why? You don’t even know me.
Adam: I like you.
Emma: I have to go to this stupid thing tomorrow, you wanna come with me?
Adam: Uh…yeah, sure. I’ll come with you. What is it?
Emma: Some stupid thing.


 

[Emma is at her father’s funeral and Adam is standing awkwardly wearing a bright yellow sweatshirt not realizing Emma had invited him to a funeral]
Emma: Mom, I want you to meet Adam.
[Adam hugs Emma’s mom]
Emma: And this is my sister, Katie and her lover Kevin.
Katie: Boyfriend! And my best friend.
Sandra Kurtzman: Oh, well. Thank you. I…I didn’t know you were dating someone Emma.
Emma: Oh, I’m not. I just had a one night stand with him when I was fourteen.
Adam: It’s a really nice funeral.


 

[after the funeral as Emma walks Adam back to his car]
Emma: I’m glad you stayed.
Adam: Me too. So I’ll call you soon.
Emma: Adam, you’re wonderful. If you’re lucky you’re never gonna see me again.


 

Eli: Hey!
Patrice: Did we? Yes, we did. We went to college together. You have two gay dads.
Eli: Yeah, I’m the man with the two gay dads.
Patrice: Yeah! They helped me move my boxes sophomore year.
Eli: They’re the best. I love them. I’m super straight, though. So, yeah.
Patrice: Okay.


 

[Emma runs into Adam, Eli and Adam’s girlfriend Vanessa at an LA market]
Emma: Adam.
Adam: Emma.
Eli: What is this, the beach pit? And yeah, that was a 90210 reference.
Patrice: Yeah, you’re super straight.

no-strings-attached-1


 

[catches Chuck taking a picture of dick on his cell phone and showing it to some actresses who walk away in disgust]
Lucy: Chuck! If I catch you taking pictures of your dick one more time I’m gonna take that thing away.


 

[after catching his father working out]
Alvin: Hit me.
Adam: No. I’m not gonna hit you. I don’t want to hurt you.
Alvin: You’re not gonna hurt me. Come on! Hit me. Give me your best shot.
[he breathes in and holds his stomach muscles]
Alvin: Come on, quick! Before I get a hernia!
Adam: No!
Alvin: You’re right. Let’s smoke some weed.


 

[as he’s preparing some weed to smoke]
Alvin: This is really good stuff. My agent got me one of those medical marijuana cards.
Adam: It’s nice to see they’re supporting your career.
Alvin: Yeah.


 

[as they are smoking weed in Alvin’s kitchen]
Alvin: So, are you having sex?
Adam: Yes. I’m having sex.
Alvin: Cause if you want any pointers, you know, I can help you out. If it’s one thing you learn after two failed marriages, it’s how to eat kitty. Anyone special?
Adam: No. Not since Vanessa.
Alvin: It’s been a year, it’s time to move on.
Adam: It’s been eight months, dad. What…what…what did you wanna talk to me about anyway?
Alvin: Uh…
[Adam sees a small dog coming into the kitchen]
Adam: Are you…you got a dog? Seriously, you guys…
[suddenly Vanessa wearing a bikini runs into the kitchen after the dog on seeing Vanessa Adam chokes on his smoke]
Vanessa: You didn’t tell him yet?
[Alvin looks away]
Vanessa: Damn!
[Vanessa runs out of the kitchen]


 

[after Adam has just found out Vanessa is sleeping with his father]
Adam: How long?
Alvin: Well…
Adam: How long?
Alvin: Not long. I…she needed a place to stay, because you know, her landlord is such a d-bag. Christmas. I ran into her at a party, we got to talking, about you mostly.
[suddenly Adam punches Alvin hard in the stomach and they both wince in pain]
Adam: It looks so soft! It’s not!


 

Adam: You’re fucking my ex-girlfriend?!
Alvin: Well, yeah. But…I…she’s just so hot.
Adam: I know how hot she is.
[suddenly Vanessa comes in through the door behind Adam]
Alvin: That’s really sweet. Thanks, guys!
Adam: Fuck you!


 

Eli: Hey, you know what the best part about my gay dads?
Adam: What?
Eli: They’re never gonna eat out my ex-girlfriends.
Wallace: That’s true.
[to Adam]
Wallace: Hey, I heard. You and your dad are tunnel buddies, huh?
Eli: Wow! Wallace!
Wallace: She chose your dad over you, man. That’s like trading an iPod for A-Trak.


 

[to Adam]
Eli: You need to get even. Go have sex with one of his ex-girlfriends.
Wallace: Hey, you think when he’s bustin’ a nut, he’s like ‘Great Scott’!
[Adam just looks at him]
Wallace: No?


 

Adam: That’s it. I’m goin’ for it.
Eli: Going for what?
Adam: I’m gonna call every girl in my phone until someone agrees to have sex with me.
Wallace: That’s strong. Toast to that.
Eli: Toast. That is a terrible self destructive plan and we’re behind you a hundred percent.


 

[after waking up naked on a strange couch]
Adam: Did you have a good time last night?
Shira: It was alright, nothing special.
Adam: Oh. I want you to know that I respect you.
Shira: Thank you.
Adam: Normally I would remember the name of someone that I’ve…
Shira: What? Oh, my God! Did you think we had sex? Oh, my God! We did not have sex.


 

[Guy walks into the room as Adam and Shira are talking with Adam still naked]
Guy: Hey, Adam. You left your socks in my room.
Adam: Did I?
Guy: You did.
Adam: Did I by chance leave my pants in your room?
Guy: No, when we met you weren’t wearing pants.
[Patrice walks into the room]
Patrice: Stop teasing him. You guys!
Adam: Patrice!
Patrice: Hey.
Adam: Hey, I know you.
Patrice: Yeah.


 

Adam: What happened last night? Did we…did we…?
Patrice: We had sex. Yeah. I really liked it. I didn’t know that my body could handle that much pain and that I would like it.
[Emma walks into the kitchen behind them]
Emma: You’re up!
Adam: Emma. You live here?no-strings-attached-2
Emma: Yep. You feeling any better?
Adam: Uh…did I have sex with anyone on this apartment last night?
Emma: No, you didn’t.
Patrice: Oh, sorry.
Emma: You didn’t
[Patrice, Shira and Guy laugh]
Adam: Thank you. Yeah, that’s…that’s…this is…that’s funny. Let’s…let’s make fun of the hung over naked guy.
Emma: But um…I do have your pants, so if you want them come with me.
Adam: Yes, thank you.


 

[Adam goes to get off the couch and get his pants from Emma’s room but is embarrassed by his nakedness]
Patrice: Oh, you don’t have to get embarrassed because we’re all doctors. So we see literally hundreds of penises a week.
Guy: I see thousands.
Shira: I just pulled a penis out of a Vitamin Water yesterday, so we are cool with penises here.
Emma: Okay.
Patrice: We’re professionals.
Adam: Well, it has been a pleasure.
[Adam gets up and they all stare at his ass and clap as he walks towards Emma’s room]
Patrice: Bravo.
Guy: Nice.
Patrice: Bravo. Bravo.
Guy: Yep. I’m definitely gay.


 

Adam: So how did I get here?
Emma: Um…you texted me that it was an emergency and I texted you my address and then you came over. And um…I think you thought you were at home because you started taking off all your clothes.
Adam: Oh, God!
Emma: Here are your pants.

 


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Total Quotes: 90

 

 

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