Puss in Boots
clever, colorful and a cheerfully chaotic jumble that provide a worthy
successor to the Shrek franchise. The story is about Puss in Boots
before he met Shrek and Donkey and contains a mixture of fairy tale and
nursery rhyme characters. The jokes and the visuals gags are
very witty and vibrant, never slowing down enough to concern
itself with plotting or pacing. With the fabulous central
of Antonio Banderas, Puss
in Boots quotes are pretty hard to dislike and
Puss' origin story could easily stand on its own.
by: Chris Miller
Charles Perrault (character)
Tom Wheeler (screenplay)
David H. Steinberg
Jon Zack Starring: Antonio Banderas
- Puss in Boots (voice)
Salma Hayek - Kitty Softpaws (voice)
Zach Galifianakis - Humpty Dumpty (voice)
Billy Bob Thornton - Jack (voice)
Amy Sedaris - Jill (voice)
Constance Marie - Imelda (voice)
Guillermo del Toro - Moustache Man / Comandate (voice)
Rich Dietl - Bounty Hunter (voice)
Ryan Crego - Luis (voice)
Tom Wheeler - Bartender / Hotel Owner / Mean Boy / Wagon
Driver / Rodrigo (voice)
Conrad Vernon - Raoul / Soldier (voice)
Tom McGrath - Bar Thief (voice)
Bob Joles - Guiseppe (voice)
Latifa Ouaou - Crazy Woman / Mean Girl / Milk Lady /
Little Boy (voice)
Robert Persichetti - Ohhh Cat (voice)
Chris Miller - Boy Blue / Friar Miller / Prison Guard /
Manual / Rafael (voice)
Jessica Schulte - Estella Maria (voice)
Mike Mitchell - Andy Beanstalk (voice)
Nina Barry - Ivana / Charo (voice)
[first lines] Puss in Boots:[voice over]
Through the years I have been known by many names. Diablo Gato, The
Furry Lover, Chupa Cabra, Frisky Two Times and then The Gingerhead man.
But to most I am Puss in Boots, outlaw!
[we see female cat lying
on a pillow when we see Puss grabbing his hat] Puss in Boots: I
will never forget you, Margarita. [the cat wakes and
scowls and hearing the name] Puss in Boots: I
mean, Rosa. Uh...sorry. I think maybe I should go.
Puss in Boots:[voice over] What
can I say? I was a bad kitty. Just a fugitive from the law, forever
running. Searching for a way to clear my name. And I would get that
chance on this one fateful night.
[Puss walks into a bar
and has he walks up to the bar the bar patrons make fun of him] Bar Patron:
Raoul, look what the cat dragged in. Oh, wait! That is the cat! [the bar patrons all
laugh, Puss gets to bar and climbs onto the bar
stool] Puss in Boots: Bottle
of leche, please. [he gives the skull ring
he'd stolen earlier to the bartender as payment] Bartender:
What are you doing here, Senor? Did you lose your ball of
yarn? [the bartender and the
patrons laugh, Puss does a fake laugh] Puss in Boots: So
funny. Bartender: One
leche coming up. [one of the patrons pull
Puss's stool out from under him and the others laugh, suddenly Puss
throws his sword at his bounty sign]
in Boots: I
am not looking for trouble. I am but a humble gato in search of his
next meal. Perhaps you gentlemen can let me find a
simple score. Moustache Man:
The only thing you'll find tonight is trouble, Puss in Boots. [he holds up Puss's
bounty poster] Moustache Man: Well
perhaps if one of us were to tell the law that you're in town, we could
split the reward.
[a man come up behind
Puss him with a knife but Puss has him at sword-point, managing to cut
part of two other patrons' beards off ] Puss in Boots:
You made the cat angry. You do not want to make the cat angry!
[as Puss is still
holding one of the men in the bar at sword-point] Bartender: The
church if St. Michael has just put up a golden statue of the Virgin of
Guadalupe. Puss in Boots: I
do not steal from churches. Bar Patron: Well,
the boys orphanage has been donated silver candlesticks, they would
look very lovely in your home. Puss in Boots: I
do not steal from orphans. Bar Thief:
Uh...what about Jack and Jill? Luis: Shh!
Are you crazy? Puss in Boots: The
what? Moustache Man: The
murderous outlaws, Jack and Jill, have gotten their hands on magic
beans. Puss in Boots: Do
not joke with me about magic beans! I searched half my life for them.
They do not exist. Luis: No,
cat. We have seen them.
[Moustache Man shows
Puss the magic means tattooed on his arm] Moustache Man: These
are the beans of legends. Puss in Boots: Oh! Luis: Grows
the vine to the land of giants. [Moustache Man opens his
shirt to reveal castle in the sky tattooed on his chest] Luis:
And the golden goose. Puss in Boots: The
golden goose! Moustache Man: One
of her eggs could set you up for life. Luis: All
nine of them. Show him the golden eggs. [Moustache Man gets up
his trousers] Puss in Boots: No!
Please uh...you have uh...shown enough.
a cat with a death wish would steal the beans from Jack and Jill. Puss in Boots: The
only wish I have is to repay an old debt and this is my chance. Now... [he draws his sword] Puss in Boots: Where
to I find this Jack and Jill?
know, Jill, I've been thinking. Jill: Uuhh!
Get it out. Jack: I
um...once we're done with this magic bean business and got ourselves
all them beautiful golden eggs. Jill: Mmhmm.
Go on. Jack: Why
don't we cut down on some of the hijackin' and murderin'. I mean it's
fun and all, but uh...I wanna a baby.
baby what, Jack? Jack: A
baby us, Jill. We'll raise it wild, like a squirrel or somethin'.
[to the masked cat who
has cost Puss getting his hands on the magic beans] Puss in Boots: Those magic
beans were my score. You just caused me a chance of getting the golden
eggs, mi amigo. Put up your paws up.
[to the masked cat after
they end up in a "dance to the death" fight] Puss in Boots: Fear
me, if you dare!
hits the masked cat, the cat takes off its mask to revealing a
female cat] Kitty Softpaws: You
hit me in the head with a guitar! Puss in Boots: You
uh...uh...you are a woman? Woh! Kitty Softpaws: Amateur! [Kitty walks off into a
dark alley and Puss follows Kitty] Puss in Boots: Wow!
Senorita, wait! Let me buy you some leche! I am a lover not a...fighter.
[as Puss is looking for
Kitty in the dark alley] Puss in Boots: Hello?
You are hiding from me? I like to play the games too. I sense in you a
kindred spirit. A... [he takes sniff of the
air] Puss in Boots: I
smell something familiar, something dangerous, something breakfasty. [Puss hears a voice from
behind him] Humpty Dumpty: It's
been a long time, brother. [suddenly Humpty Dumpty
rolls in from behind and Puss turns and draws his sword on him] Puss in Boots: Humpty
Alexander Dumpty. How dare you show your face to me! Humpty Dumpty: I
know you're angry, you have every right. But it is good to see you,
Puss. [as he walks closer Puss
pushes his sword in Humpty's face] Humpty Dumpty: Are
those new boots? Puss in Boots: No!
They are the same boots I wore when you betrayed me. Humpty Dumpty: Be...betrayed
you? You left me cracked in pieces on a bridge, surrounded by soldiers!
They wrote a song about it! Puss in Boots: And
how did we get on that bridge in the first place?! Humpty Dumpty: Because
we were brothers and brothers are supposed to look after each other.
Not... [suddenly Kitty appears] Kitty Softpaws: Humpty.
Remember why we're here. Puss in Boots: I
should have known.
Puss in Boots: I
had the magic beans in my grasp and you sent this very...attractive
devil woman to interfere. You are a curse on my life! Humpty Dumpty: Woh!
Woh! Wait! Here me out, okay? Yes, yes! I sent Kitty to bring you here.
But she is no ordinary thief. [Kitty takes off her
glove from her paw to reveal that she has no claws] Humpty Dumpty: She's
Kitty Softpaws. The softest touch in Spain. [without Puss noticing
Kitty steals his boots and holds them holds up] Kitty Softpaws: That's
a lot of heel for a guy, don't you think?
Humpty Dumpty: Look,
with Kitty's skill, your sword and my brain we've got a fighting
chance here. Puss, come on. You of all people know that nobody is ever
ripped off the giant's castle and lived to tell the tale. You want to
survive, you need a plan. And I've studied this job my whole life, you
know that. Alright, let's...let's...let's be honest, without me you
don't even know where to plant the beans, Puss. But Jack and Jill do,
they're on their way. We go up the beanstalk outlaws and we come down
legends. So what do you say? Partner? [he holds out his hand] Puss in Boots:
No, never again. [Puss walks off] Humpty Dumpty: I'm
sorry, okay? How long are you going to hold a grudge? It's been
seven years! That's like thirty five cat years! You need me! And I...I
need you, Puss.
[to Puss as he's walking
through the cat tavern] Humpty Dumpty:
You got any idea what they do to eggs in San Ricardo prison? [Puss stops walking and
the music playing in the tavern stops also] Humpty Dumpty: I'll
tell you this, my friend. It
ain't over-easy! [a cat appears behind
Humpty] Ohhh Cat:
Ohhh! Puss in Boots: Adieus,
Just think of all the trouble we can get into. The two of us together,
we can steal a lot of golden eggs. Hmm? [Puss suddenly sees
she's wearing his hat and quickly grabs his hat back] Kitty Softpaws: And
you owe me. Puss in Boots: I
owe you? Kitty Softpaws: Mmhmm.
You hit me in the head with a guitar. Puss in Boots: I
regret the guitar. Kitty Softpaws: Okay,
I forgive you. So, you're in? Puss in Boots: Well
there is one teeny tiny iddy biddy problem. Kitty Softpaws: And
what is that? Puss in Boots: You
work for the egg!
Kitty Softpaws: Oh,
come on, Puss! What happened between you and Humpty that was so bad? Puss in Boots: I
am afraid with me and Humpty the scars are too deep. It all started a
long time ago. Kitty Softpaws: Oh,
no! No! No! No! You really don't have to tell me your whole life story,
please! Puss in Boots: You
may want to sit. [he forces Kitty to sit
and turns to tell
his story] Puss in Boots: It
is at times quite...painful. Kitty Softpaws: Okay,
here we go. [we see flashback story
of when Puss was a baby] Puss in Boots: [voice over] It was
the year in which the rain had not fallen. The wind was big and the
basket was small. For days I bounced along. A hungry little kitten with
no milk, no mama and no litter box. Until I came to rest at a home for
lost children. [we see him get picked
up by a woman running the orphanage] Puss in Boots: [voice over] Her
name was Imelda and like a mother she took me into her heart and raised
me as her own. She was an angel of kindness...most of the time. [we see Humpty at the
same orphanage steal Puss's beans from his plate] Puss in Boots: [voice over] And
uh...that was the moment I met... [Humpty introduces
himself to a baby Puss] Humpty Dumpty: Humpty
[in his flashback story
of how he met Humpty] Puss in Boots: [voice over] Even
though he took my beans, the egg stood up for me and I decided that I
would always have his back. It was something about this strange little
egg that uh...intrigued me.
[flashback of baby Puss
following Humpty to his secret place where he sees Humpty planting and
growing beans] Humpty Dumpty: I've
been collecting for months now, you never know when you're gonna get
lucky. Know what I mean? [Puss just stares at him
blankly] Humpty Dumpty: Magic
beans. It's what they are. [Puss continues to stare
at him blankly] Humpty Dumpty: Hello?
You going to tell all the other kids that I believe in magic now? Is
that what you're gonna do? [Puss shakes his head] Humpty Dumpty: No?
What's your name? [Puss does a baby meow] Humpty Dumpty: Well
you don't say much, do you? Well I think I'll call you Sparky. [Puss shakes his head] Humpty Dumpty: Whiskers? [Puss shakes his head] Humpty Dumpty: Zoltar! [Puss pauses for a
moment before shaking his head] Humpty Dumpty: How
about Puss? [Puss smiles and nods
Puss in Boots: [voice over] Humpty's
mind was full of imagination and invention. He spoke of legends and
adventures beyond my wildest dreams
we see Humpty and baby Puss lying on the grass looking up at the sky Humpty Dumpty: Oh,
when I find those magic beans, they'll grow a vine straight up into the
clouds where a terrible and a fearsome giant hoards his greatest
treasure, the golden goose. Oh, the golden goose. Just one...just one
of her golden eggs could set me for life. It's my destiny, Puss. I
can't really explain it, but I just feel like I belong up there. [he sighs and Puss sighs
along with him, Humpty turns to Puss] Humpty Dumpty: Well,
this is awkward. This is kind of uh...a solo dream here. I
don't really need a dead weight, you know? Hold me down. [Puss turns to face
Humpty making big cute eyes at him] Humpty Dumpty: What
are you doin'? Oh man, that's good. The...the...the eye thing that
you're doin', that is really splendid.Okay, let me just think for a
second, alright? Okay, uh...this is crazy but I am considering a
partnership. I just need to know one thing. Can you commit? Puss in
Boots: Si, I can commit. Humpty Dumpty: Oh,
you can talk! Could you help me up?
[flashback shows Humpty
and Puss forming their secret magic bean club] Humpty Dumpty: First
rule of bean club, you do not talk about bean club. Second rule of bean
club, you don't talk about bean club.
[Humpty takes a needle
from a box] Humpty Dumpty: You
Ready. [Humpty pricks his
finger with the needle] Humpty Dumpty: From
this day forth, it shall be known. [Puss takes the needs
from Humpty and pricks his finger]
Never alone, always together. Humpty Dumpty: Humpty
and Puss... [they shake the hands
they've just pricked with the needle] Humpty and Puss: Brothers
forever. Puss in Boots: [voice over] And
from that moment on we were united on a great adventure to find the
magic beans.Humpty was the brains and I was the skill.
Humpty Dumpty: Well,
we got red beans, we got green beans, coffee beans, lima beans but no
Would you care for a jelly bean? Humpty Dumpty: Oh,
thank you. [referring to the magic
means] Puss in Boots: [voice over] Finding
them meant everything to us. But we never did find them. And as the
years passed, the quest for magic beans seemed more and more
like a dreams of a child.
Puss in Boots: [voice over] As
teenagers, Humpty and I looked for trouble and often found it.
[flashback of Puss
becoming the hero of the town after saving the Comandate's mother from
being hit by the horns of a bull] Puss in Boots: [voice over] Little
did I know that one moment would change my whole life. [Imelda holds up his now
famous boots] Imelda:
These are for you, my boy. Wear them as a symbol of honor and justice. Puss in
Boots: I will make you proud, mama. Imelda: You
already have. My Puss in Boots. [Imelda places his now
famous hat on Puss' head]
Puss in Boots: [voice over] How
strange it was to be a cat in boots, but woh, I look good! And as the
light of my path grew brighter, Humpty's road grew ever darker.
[flashback of when Puss
bails Humpty out of jail] Humpty Dumpty: I
know. I know. I never should have tried something without you. Puss in
Boots: You're not stealing lollipops anymore, Humpty.
This is getting serious. Humpty Dumpty: You're
right. We have to be smarter about this. Here, look. We need to think
bigger. I've been casing the silver smith and it's perfect. [he holds up his plan
for stealing] Humpty Dumpty: You
and me, in and out, fifty seconds tops! Puss in
Boots: Will you put that away! This is our home, these
people have done nothing to us. Humpty Dumpty: Our
home? Okay, yeah. I get it now. You get some fancy boots and now you're
too good for me? Puss in
Boots: That is not true. Humpty Dumpty: We
weren't born here. We're orphans and all we got is each other. You
understand? Puss in
Boots: We are better than this. Humpty Dumpty: But
we're partners. Puss in
Boots: We are brothers. But I am not stealing anymore. Puss in Boots: [voice over] But
Humpty would not give up so easily.
[flashback of when
Humpty deceives Puss into helping him rob San Ricardo
Bank] Puss in
Boots: How could you do this to me?
Humpty Dumpty: I
did you a favor! We can finally get out of here. Puss in
Boots: This is the money of the people. This is
all they have! [suddenly the Comandate
grabs Puss and Puss instinctively scratches him in the face] Comandate: You
disgrace those boots. Puss in
Boots: Comandate, please! I can explain. [to his guards] Comandate: Arrest
them! [Humpty and Pussy make a
getaway in the wagon with the guards chasing them] Humpty Dumpty: Hurry
up! Get to a bridge! Puss in
Boots: You tricked me! Humpty Dumpty: I
had too! You left me no choice!
[as the guards are
chasing them their wagon tips over the bridge with all the
gold thrown into the water and Humpty has fallen to the ground] Humpty Dumpty: Puss,
I can't get up. Puss, help me I can't get up! [the guards are charing
towards them getting closer] Humpty Dumpty: Puss,
save me! Puss in
Boots: Save yourself. [the guards grab Humpty
and as they come to grab Puss he throws himself over the bridge] Puss in Boots: [voice over] I
lost everything I cared about that day. My brother, my honor, my home.
All I thought about was the disappointment in my mama's eyes. And I
have been running ever since.
[back to the present as
he's finishing telling his story to Kitty] Puss in
Boots: The egg betrayed me. His lies cost me everything. [Kitty is asleep snoring
loudly] Puss in
Boots: Hey! Kitty Softpaws: I'm
Humpty Dumpty: Listen,
a day...a day doesn't go by when I don't think about what I lost. I
lost my best friend, my only friend. And I get it now, I got greedy and
desperate and I let you down, I let myself down. All I'm asking for,
Puss, is a second chance. Give me that second chance and I'll help
repay you back San Ricardo. Please, Puss. Let me show you what our
friendship mean to me. Puss in
Boots: I will do it. Humpty Dumpty: Oh,
that's great. Puss in
Boots: I will do this for my mother and for San Ricardo,
not for you. We are not partners and we're not friends. Humpty Dumpty: Okay
and I...I promise this time I will not let you down. Yes! I think we
got our bean club back!
Boots: This plan better work. Kitty Softpaws: Listen,
you just need to worry about your part. Don't screw it up. What? Puss in
Boots: Again with the mask? Kitty Softpaws: I
don't need style advice from Mr. Dusty Boots.