Starring: Amy Schumer, Goldie Hawn, Christopher Meloni, Ike Barinholtz, Óscar Jaenada, Wanda Sykes, Randall Park

Comedy directed by Jonathan Levine and co-written by Amy Schumer. We follow Emily (Amy Schumer), a spontaneous woman in her 30’s, who after getting dumped by her boyfriend persuades her ultra-cautious mom, Linda (Goldie Hawn), to accompany her on a vacation to South America. At Emily’s insistence, the pair seek out adventure, but suddenly find themselves kidnapped.

When these two very different women are trapped on this wild journey, their bond as mother and daughter is tested and strengthened while they attempt to navigate the jungle and escape.


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Emily: Here’s to nothing getting in the way of our adventure.
Emily’s Boyfriend: Emily, I can’t go to South America.
Emily: Wait, wait. What?
Emily’s Boyfriend: My band is really blowing up right now, and where I’m going there’s going to be like a ton of pussy.
[at the same time]
Emily: Inspiration.
[there’s a moment’s pause]
Emily: Inspiration?
Emily’s Boyfriend: No, pussy.
Emily: I keep talking over you, but it’s sounding like you’re saying inspiri…
Emily’s Boyfriend: Pussy.
Emily: I hear it that time.


Emily’s Boyfriend: Also I’m breaking up with you.
Emily: When?
Emily’s Boyfriend: Like right now. This is it, you’re in the middle of it.
Emily: You don’t want to lose this.
[she goes to kiss him]
Emily’s Boyfriend: No,  I didn’t… Just stop.
[he pushes her face away]


Linda: You poor thing. You look awful.
[she hugs Emily]
Emily: Thank you.
Linda: We’ll get through this.
Emily: That’s a long hug.
Linda: Alright.
Emily: Okay.


[as she looks at photo albums of her mom]
Emily: Mom, look how fun you were.


Emily: Pack your bags, we’re going to South America.
Linda: Absolutely not. Everybody knows you need two years to plan a vacation.
Emily: You don’t do anything fun anymore.
Linda: That’s not true. I’ve been taking sculpting lessons at the Y. Da-dah!
[she points over to her sculpture, which is a hideously awful sculpture of a cat]
Emily: I told you I would not acknowledge that. That’s frightening and you made that.
Linda: Okay.


Emily: Mom, pack your bags, you’re going with me to Ecuador.
Linda: Absolutely not.
Emily: Mom, look, I didn’t want to do this, but my trip is non-refundable.
Linda: Oh, my God.
Emily: Yeah.
Linda: You always book refundable, Emily. Everybody knows that.


Linda: Here, put this on.
Emily: What is this? What?
Linda: That is a rape, a rape whistle. That’s a rape whistle.
Emily: This is a dog whistle, mom.
Linda: Oh, well…
Emily: Are you afraid I’m going to get raped by dogs? Is that your main concern?
Linda: Could I just see that? Honey, look at the dogs.
Emily: All these dog, do they look like rapists to you?
Linda: Whatever. Why don’t you just say, “Thank you, mom.”
Emily: Thank you. [mockingly] I’m being raped by a dog.
[she blows the whistle and dog jumps up at their car window and starts barking]
Emily: Oh, my God! It works.


Emily: Hola. Check-in for Middleton.
Linda: What’s this?
[she picks up a glass with a milky liquid in it and starts to drink it]
Hotel Employee: Welcome.
[just then she spits out the liquid onto Emily’s face]
Linda: Whale what?
Emily: Welcome.
Linda: Oh. Oh, “welcome”.
Emily: They’re not serving whale semen.
Linda: I’m so sorry, baby.
[she tries to help Emily wipe off the liquid off her face]
Emily: I’ve got it.


Emily: Why do you dress like a beekeeper?
Linda: The sun is very dangerous.
[Linda starts to put sun cream onto Emily]
Emily: Mom, you put so much on.
Linda: I don’t want you to get melanoma in front of my eyes.
Emily: Mom, you put so much on.


Emily: Why do you dress like Powder?
Linda: The sun is dangerous.
[Linda starts to put sun cream onto Emily]
Emily: Mom, it feels like you’re putting on a lot.
Linda: No, no, just here. You need it here.
[she dabs some onto Emily’s nose]


Emily: Let’s go out tonight. Hair, makeup, boob, we’re going out.
Linda: Emily, I am not going out at night.
Emily: Everything shouldn’t be so scary.
American Tourist: Oh, it damn well should. One in four tourists are kidnapped.
Emily: Not true.
American Tourist: One, two, three… Somebody’s missing.


Emily: We’re going out tonight.
Linda: I’m definitely not.


Emily: We’re going out tonight.
Linda: What? No, I can’t.
Emily: Come on. You’re going to miss this whole trip. Everything shouldn’t be so scary.


[whilst sitting at the bar]
James: Hey, do you mind if I join you?
[to the girl at bar next to her]
Emily: Hey, that dude is talking to you.
James: Oh, mind if I join you.
[he points to her]
Emily: Oh, not you. It was me. Can you kind of beat it, because you’re a distraction.
[James comes over to sit next to Emily]
Emily: Hi.


[whilst sitting at the bar]
James: Hey, do you mind if I join you?
[to the girl at bar next to her]
Emily: Hey, that dude is talking to you.
James: Oh, no, no. Sorry, you.
[he points to her]
Emily: Oh, not you. It was me. Can you kind of beat it, because you’re a distraction.
[James comes over to sit next to Emily]
Emily: Hi.


[Emily meets a guy at the bar]
James: Hi, I’m James.


James: What brings you down here? Are you on vacation here with your boyfriend?
Emily: Uh, no, I’m just here with, um, my mom.


[after accidentally seeing Emily wiping between her crotch in the ladies bathroom]
Emily: That was not what it looks like.
James: It looked like you were washing your vagina in the sink.


Emily: I met a man.
Linda: Well drinking with a man in foreign country is a smart, responsible thing to do.


Emily: What I need is an amazing adventure.


Linda: Where the hell are we?
James: The scenic route. Oh, we’re just coming up on a really beautiful view.
[she looks over and sees the guy in the truck next to them put a hood over his head just before they crash into their car]


[after being kidnapped and placed in a cell]
Emily: Oh, my God! This is Liam Neeson’s Taken!


[locked up in a cell after being kidnapped; referring to their credit card]
Thug: What’s your pin number?
Linda: Do what he says.
Emily: I already am before you told me to.
Linda: Okay, okay.
Emily: One, two, do you want to get a pen?
[the thugs look at her]
Emily: Three… Four.
Linda: Oh, God.
Emily: I was going to change it.


[after being kidnapped]
Thug: Why did you come to South America?
Linda: I never wanted to come.
Emily: For the cultural experience. I don’t speak any Spanish. I know what they call me at the restaurant, puta, which means princess or pretty or…
Thug: No, it means whore.
Emily: That checks out.


Emily: I am going to get us out of this.


Emily: [to Linda] I’m sorry that this happened, but I will get us out of this!


Emily: I will get us out of here. I need you to believe in me.


[referring to Emily hitting one of their kidnappers with a shovel]
Emily: Do you think maybe that guy is okay?
Linda: I saw his brains.
Emily: Why can’t you just make me feel better?


Bartender: I know a man, he can take care of you.
Linda: Mm-hmm, yeah. This is how sex slavery starts.
Emily: Okay, mom.
Bartender: Listen, no, you don’t have to worry about that. Those kind of people want young, beautiful females. You are both safe.
Emily: You would be so lucky to fuck us, kid.
Bartender: Oh, no, I would be very unlucky. You’re like melted candles.


Bartender: I know a man, he can take care of you.
Linda: That’s how a sex slaver starts.
Emily: Okay, mom.
Bartender: Those people want young, beautiful females.
Emily: Just to be safe I should maybe go hide in the jungle.
Bartender: No, no, no, your poofy face will protect you.
Emily: I have some angles that would like really surprise you.
[she turns around and poses]
Emily: Like what?


[calling her brother]
Emily: Listen, I need your help. Mom and I got kidnapped.


Cop: State Department.
Emily’s Brother: My mom and sister they’ve been taken. I imagine you have a commando squad for underground criminals who were tried for a crime they didn’t commit.
Cop: That sounds like the A-Team,
Emily’s Brother: It is the A-Team. Do you have an A-Team?
[the cop hangs up]


Linda: Why did I ever let you talk me into this?
Emily: I should have just listened to you.
[they embrace and Emily begins to cry]
Emily: I love you.
Linda: This is great, but we’ve really got to get out of here, you know.
Emily: Yeah, we need to get out of here. Okay.


[pointing a gun at one of her kidnappers]
Emily: You fucked with the wrong bitches.
Linda: Yeah. okay, go!
Emily: Here I go.
Linda: Go!
Emily: I’m going to countdown and I’m going to do it.
Thug: Please. Please.
Emily: One hundred, ninety-nine…


Snatched is set to open in the US May 12, 2017 and UK May 19, 2017.



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