Starring: Will Ferrell, Amy Poehler, Ryan Simpkins, Jason Mantzoukas, Nick Kroll, Allison Tolman, Michaela Watkins, Jessie Ennis, Rob Huebel, Cedric Yarbrough,  Jeremy Renner

Comedy directed and co-written by Andrew J. Cohen, the story follows Scott and Kate Johansen (Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler) who after they lose their daughter’s college fund team up with their neighbors to start an illegal casino in his basement to earn money.


Best Quotes from Trailer:

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[referring to her email reply from Berkeley]
Alex Johansen: Oh, no, I don’t want to click it. I’m not going to click it. Why don’t you click it?
Scott Johansen: If they say no to you I say we say no to them. If they don’t want my baby they’re stupid.
[Alex opens her email and it pops up with heading “Welcome to Berkeley University”]
Alex Johansen: I got it in!
Scott Johansen: I knew it!


Scott Johansen: When I became a dad I made a choice, to support my daughter’s dreams.


Financial Advisor: You don’t have enough money.
Scott Johansen: It says right here we have four hundred and one thousand dollars.
Kate Johansen: Jackpot.
Scott Johansen: You missed it.
Financial Advisor: Uh, that’s says you have a 401K account.


Kate Johansen: Alex thinks we can afford tuition and we can’t.
Scott Johansen: We got to lie, that’s what parents do, because otherwise the kids are going to realize that we don’t know what we’re doing!


Kate Johansen: If we don’t have the money she can’t go to college.


[looking at the money they owe]
Scott Johansen: Fifty million dollars!
Kate Johansen: Thousand, honey. Oh, my God. My butt just got so tight.


Frank: Welcome. I have a way for you guys to make four years tuition in one month. Underground casino.


Scott Johansen: The math seems to check out.
Kate Johansen: Do this math. You’re forty years-old and you go to jail for twenty years, how old are you when you get out?
Scott Johansen: Ninety.
Kate Johansen: No.
Scott Johansen: A hundred.
Kate Johansen: Honey.
Scott Johansen: If I have some scratch paper I can figure it out.


Frank: If you want to make money like Vegas you got to look like Vegas. We’ve got a nail salon, massagers. You’re never going to believe what’s in this next room.
Kate Johansen: Is it a strip club?
[they open the room to see it’s been turned into a strip club]


Kate Johansen: What’s up with that kid?
Scott Johansen: That kid’s eleven.
Frank: He’s a fantastic DJ. Drop that beat!


Scott Johansen: Your mother and I will be working late every night.
Alex Johansen: I just can’t help but feel like you’re lying.
Scott Johansen: We love you so much, we’re so  proud of you, but you need to shut  up.
Alex Johansen: What did you just say?
Scott Johansen: It’s so hard being a parent.


[referring to Scott, Kate and Frank]
Craig: There’s something fishy going on with those three.


Scott Johansen: Are you going to bet on our friends fighting?
Frank: We’re a casino. Have you ever heard of fight night?


[as their neighbors are fighting]
Scott Johansen: Martha and Laura are pretty good in there.
Kate Johansen: They both take the same MMA class at The Y.
[as the two women fight]
Kate Johansen: Ooh, she doored her!
Scott Johansen: I don’t know why I love this so much!


Casino Patron: Are those women’s sunglasses?
Scott Johansen: No, they’re Italian.


Kate Johansen: I feel like a badass bitch.


Scott Johansen: I’m not going to tell my daughter she can’t go to college, so we resorted to a life of crime.


Frank: Guys, we got a problem.
Scott Johansen: He’s cheating. We got to send a message, like De Niro in Casino.


Frank: You think you can cheat us!
Carl Shackler: What are you guys going to do about it anyway?
[Scott picks up an axe]
Carl Shackler: [laughing] Ooh, I’m so scared.
[Frank takes the axe]
Frank: I’m going to do this.
[Kate tries to take the axe from him]
Kate Johansen: No, I’m going to do this.
Scott Johansen: Hey, hey, hey. Don’t play around with…
[as Scott to grab the axe from Frank and Kate he accidently hits Carl with it]
Frank: Oh, my God!


[to Carl after they’ve struck him accidently with the axe]
Frank: Tell your friends if they miss with us, this is what they’re going to get..
[he looks like he’s going to hurl]


The House is set to open in the US and UK June 30, 2017.



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