quotes are a bit deficient in spark and chemistry but they still manage
provide a few comical moments. Sadly,
not even the most beautiful actors in the world can light a fire and
movie what it should have been; exciting and thrilling! At best The Tourist
comes across as an action comedy with beautiful scenery and very nice
Regardless, we can still appreciate some of the lines from this movie,
all those interested scroll down to view the collection of The Tourist quotes.
by: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
Jérôme Salle Starring: Johnny Depp
- Frank Tupelo
Angelina Jolie - Elise Clifton-Ward
Paul Bettany - Inspector John Acheson
Timothy Dalton - Chief Inspector Jones
Steven Berkoff - Reginald Shaw
Rufus Sewell - The Englishman
Christian De Sica - Colonnello Lombardi
Alessio Boni - Sergente Cerato
Daniele Pecci - Tenente Narduzzi
Giovanni Guidelli - Tenente Tommassini
Raoul Bova - Conte Filippo Gaggia
Bruno Wolkowitch - Capitaine Courson
Marc Ruchmann - Brigadier Kaiser
Julien Baumgartner - Brigadier Ricuort
François Vincentelli - Brigadier Marion
Clément Sibony - Brigadier Rousseau
Jean-Claude Adelin - Brigadier Cavillan
Jean-Marie Lamour - Cafe Waiter Jean-Michel
Nicolas Guillot - Cafe Head Waiter Jérôme
Mhamed Arezki - Courier Achmed Tchebali
Igor Jijikine - Virginsky
Acheson answers his cell phone] John Acheson:
Yes? Capitaine Courson:
She's at the usual cafe. She's speaking with a man. He looks like a
messenger, but you said to call you if anything changed in her routine.
[referring to the
surveillance camera's following Elise] John Acheson: Stay
on his face. His face. Capitaine Courson:
Do you think he's Alexandra Pearce? John Acheson:
I think everybody's Pearce.
[reading the letter that
she received] Elise:[voice over] Elise,
have no reason to trust me anymore, but give me a chance to explain
myself. I know the police are watching you, we have to throw them off
the trail. Board the eight-twenty-two, the Gare de Lyon, pick someone
my height and build and make them believe it is me. Burn this letter.
It is important you follow my instructions precisely. I love you,
[Acheson is watching
Elise read the letter on the surveillance camera] John Acheson: It's
from him. [she burns the letter,
Acheson gives instructions to the French police] John Acheson: Save
that letter. Go in now, save that letter
John Acheson: Well? Brigadier:
The letter is burnt to shit. John Acheson: Don't
fucking touch it. Get the ashes, take them to the van. I'll send you
[to Acheson] Chief Inspector Jones:
Alexander Pearce has a new face, just as you suspected. I'd have
thought it must have taken quite a lot of the money he stole from
Reginald Shaw to finance this transformation. [looks at a picture of
the courier that had given the letter to Elise at the cafe earlier] Chief Inspector Jones: Achmed
Tchebali, bicycle courier of Algerian decent. Not only has Pearce
acquired a wife and a child, he's also four inches shorter than he used
to be. That must have been a big item of expenditure. [looks at Acheson] Chief Inspector Jones: [sarcastically]
Congratulations, Acheson. You have indeed cracked this case.
John Acheson: Sir,
this morning she received a note and we have strong reason to believe... Chief Inspector Jones: Alexander
Pearce, has seven hundred and forty four million in illegal assets,
that given he is a British subject we might seize. This operation so
far has cost me eight million. If I thought there were more than a one
in a hundred chance you could be successful, it would be rational for
me to continue this operation. I do not.
[on the train, Elise has
picked Frank to sit opposite] Frank Tupelo:
I'm sorry. Elise: What
for? [uncertain what to say,
Frank just smiles
at her] Frank Tupelo: Do
you mind me smoking? It's not a real cigarette. Elise: What? Frank Tupelo: It's
electronic. It delivers the same amount of nicotine but the smoke is
water vapor. Yeah, watch. [he takes a few drags of
the electronic cigarette and stabs the end on his hand] Frank Tupelo: LED
light. Elise: That's
somewhat disappointing. Frank Tupelo: Would
you rather have me smoking for real? Elise: I
would rather you be a man who did exactly as he pleased.
Elise. Frank Tupelo: I'm
Frank. Elise: That's
a terrible name. Frank Tupelo: [laughing] It's
the only one I've got. Elise: Maybe
we can find you another. Frank Tupelo: Okay.
Frank Tupelo: What
brings you to Venice? Elise: You
read spy novels. I'm the mysterious woman on the train, you tell me
what my story is. Frank Tupelo: Okay.
Um, I think you could be a diplomatic attache. Elise: Hmmm. Frank Tupelo: Or
maybe, a girl
from East Germany, who's father's been kidnapped and they're
blackmailing you into stealing something for them. Probably a
micro-film. There's usually micro-film involved. Elise: What
awaits me? Frank Tupelo: Trouble,
certainly. Elise: Danger? Frank Tupelo: Oh,
yeah! You'll most likely be shot at in less than two chapters. Elise: Hmm.
Is there a man in my life? Frank Tupelo: Have
to wait and see.
me to dinner, Frank? Frank Tupelo: What?
[she gives him a look] Frank Tupelo: Would
you like to have dinner? Elise: Women
don't like questions. Frank Tupelo: Join
me for dinner. Elise: Too
demanding. Frank Tupelo: Join
me for dinner? Elise: Another
question. [Frank thinks for a
moment] Frank Tupelo: I'm
having dinner, if you'd care to join me. [Elise smiles at him]
Elise: Musician? [Frank shakes his head] Elise: Bar
tender? [Frank shakes his head
again] Elise: I
give up. Frank Tupelo: Math.
I teach math. Elise: I
would not have guessed that. I'd imagine you a cool maths teacher
though. Frank Tupelo: Still
a math teacher.
[shows him a picture of
Frank] John Acheson:
Could this be Pearce? Acheson's Assistant:
Are we still working on that? [Acheson doesn't answer] Acheson's Assistant:
Well, I only have the sketches to go by so... [studies the photo of
Frank] Acheson's Assistant: Ectomorph. Same
basic phenotype. Bottom line, it could be him. John Acheson:
I knew he couldn't leave her. Run a world wide line check on that face,
I bet you ten quid there's no match. Acheson's Assistant:
Okay, but what case number do you want to book it under? John Acheson:
Just run it. Acheson's Assistant:
You really think it's Pearce? John Acheson:
Frank Tupelo: I
have a strange feeling that those two people over there are watching us. Elise: Do
you know something? I think you're right. Frank Tupelo: Really? [Elise laughs] Elise: You're
a paranoid math teacher.
what are you doing all alone in the city of lovers? Is there no one in
your life? Frank Tupelo: There
was. Elise: What
happened? Frank Tupelo: She
left me. Elise: I'm
sorry to hear that, Frank.
[after hearing the
announcement that train will stop at the end of the line] Frank Tupelo: I
guess I should go and get my suitcase and stuff. Elise: Goodbye. Frank Tupelo: Goodbye.
Sir, I... John Acheson:
Wait. [reads from the remains
of the note that Pearce had sent to Elise] John Acheson:
Pick someone my height and build and make them believe it's me. Acheson's Assistant:
We did get an exact match. He's a maths teacher from Madison Community
College. Frank Tupelo. Lost his wife in a car crash three years ago.
He's a tourist. John Acheson:
[Elise is on a boat
notices Frank and calls him over] Elise: Do
you want to come with me? Frank Tupelo: What?
Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, I...I could use the lift, yeah. Thank you.
That's very kind.
[in their hotel room he
notices Elise looking at the closet full of clothes and jewelery] Elise: This
really is a very nice hotel, isn't it? Frank Tupelo: They
think of everything, don't they?
[to his men] Reginald Shaw: You
know he will be with her. They'll be staying at one of the grand
hotels. The Gritti, the Regina, the Danieli. I want you to keep a watch
on all of them. You can kill the girl, but you can't kill him. Not
until I have my money that is.
[Elisa all dressed up
walks into their sitting room, Frank look at her in shock] Frank Tupelo: Fuck!
You're ravenous. Elise: Do
you mean, ravishing? Frank Tupelo: I
do. Elise: You're
ravenous. Frank Tupelo: I
am. Elise: Come
um...the scampi and champagne risotto, please. Waiter Antonio:
Excellent choice. Excellent. Frank Tupelo: He
didn't say that to me. Did he not like my choice? Elise: Your
choice was excellent.
Frank Tupelo: Who
is he? Hotels don't leave gifts like that, do they? Who is he? Elise: He's
someone who used to be very important to me. Frank Tupelo: Used
to? Are you meeting him in Venice? Elise: I
hope so. Part of me hopes I don't. Frank Tupelo: Why? Elise: Because,
I don't like being told what to do. I don't like being...summoned. But
it felt even worse not hearing from him for two years.
[Frank notices Elise
touching her bracelet] Elise: It's
the um...the Roman god, Janus. My mother gave it to me when I was
little. She wanted to teach me that people have two sides. A good side,
a bad side, a past, a future. And that we must embrace both in someone
we love. And I tried. Frank Tupelo: What's
he like? Elise: He's...different,
from anybody I know. Frank Tupelo: Different's
good. Where I come from, the highest compliment they can offer a person
is to say that they're down to earth, grounded. I hate it. It drives me
[in their hotel room] Frank Tupelo: It
really was a nice restaurant, wasn't it? Very nice wine. I'm making us
a nice little drink. Which is very nice of me, isn't it? [Elise laughs, he hands
her the drink] Elise: Thank
you. Frank Tupelo: Were
those flowers here when we checked in? [she opens and reads the
note that was on the flowers] Elise: It's
an invitation to a ball, two nights from now. Frank Tupelo: Ah,
you've been summoned. Elise: It
appears I have.
I pay you a compliment? Elise: Another
question you need never ask. Frank Tupelo: You
are the least down to earth person I've ever met. [Elise kisses him and
the men camping outside her hotel start taking surveillance pictures] Elise: It's
been a long day. I do hope the couch will be comfortable. Good night.
[two men are trying to
kill Frank, he locks himself in the bathroom and calls the hotel
reception] Frank Tupelo: Hello?
Please help! Hotel Concierge Alessio:
Buongiorno signore. Frank Tupelo:
Buongiorno. I...I need help! There are two men trying to break down the
door. Hotel Concierge Alessio: I
see, what kind of problem do you have with the door, sir? Frank Tupelo: No,
no, no! There are two men with guns trying to break in! Dos hombres,
con...con pistolas! Hotel Concierge Alessio: Your
Spanish is excellent, sir. Frank Tupelo: Thank
you. [the men shoot their
guns at the door] Frank Tupelo: Ah,
I gotta go! [he drops the phone and
goes out the window] Hotel Concierge
Alessio: Sir? [puts the phone down] Hotel Concierge Alessio: American!
[on the phone to Acheson] Sergente Cerato: Commander
Acheson, two armed men are chasing the American from yesterday. Shots
have been fired. Request permission to intervene. John Acheson: You
still have Elise? Sergente Cerato:
I still have a visual on the Elise Ward, but the American is in
imminent danger. John Acheson: You
mean the mathematics teacher from Wisconsin? I'd say not our man, Nate. Sergente Cerato: Sir,
this man is in real peril. John Acheson: This
is exactly why she chose him. To distract us. Stay with her, do not
move unless she moves. Am I making myself crystal clear? Sergente Cerato: Sir,
they will kill him. John Acheson: Not
our man, Nate
[at the police
station] Colonnello Lombardi: Now,
you wish to report a murder? Frank Tupelo: No,
some people tried to kill me. Colonnello Lombardi: I
was told you were reporting a murder. Frank Tupelo: Attempted
murder. Colonnello Lombardi: That's
not so serious. Frank Tupelo: Mmm,
no, not when you downgrade it from a murder. But when you upgrade it
from room service it's quite serious. Colonnello Lombardi: So
is assaulting a police officer. Frank Tupelo: That
was an accident. Colonnello Lombardi: The
officer feels differently.
Frank Tupelo: With
all due respect sir, I think maybe I should be talking to
someone....someone not Italian. The embassy or Interpol. Colonnello Lombardi: Interpol? Frank Tupelo: I'm
a American citizen. Colonnello Lombardi:What
does it mean? Frank Tupelo: I
don't know, but I'm involved in something here and no offense, this is
not a local issue.