The
Tourist
Quotes: Needs More Thrills!
(Total Quotes: 75)
The Tourist quotes are a bit deficient in spark and chemistry but they still manage provide a few comical moments. Sadly, not even the most beautiful actors in the world can light a fire and make this movie what it should have been; exciting and thrilling! At best The Tourist comes across as an action comedy with beautiful scenery and very nice eye candy. Regardless, we can still appreciate some of the lines from this movie, so for all those interested scroll down to view the collection of The Tourist quotes.
Directed by: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
Written by:
Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
Julian Fellowes
Jérôme Salle
Starring:
Johnny Depp - Frank Tupelo
Angelina Jolie - Elise Clifton-Ward
Paul Bettany - Inspector John Acheson
Timothy Dalton - Chief Inspector Jones
Steven Berkoff - Reginald Shaw
Rufus Sewell - The Englishman
Christian De Sica - Colonnello Lombardi
Alessio Boni - Sergente Cerato
Daniele Pecci - Tenente Narduzzi
Giovanni Guidelli - Tenente Tommassini
Raoul Bova - Conte Filippo Gaggia
Bruno Wolkowitch - Capitaine Courson
Marc Ruchmann - Brigadier Kaiser
Julien Baumgartner - Brigadier Ricuort
François Vincentelli - Brigadier Marion
Clément Sibony - Brigadier Rousseau
Jean-Claude Adelin - Brigadier Cavillan
Jean-Marie Lamour - Cafe Waiter Jean-Michel
Nicolas Guillot - Cafe Head Waiter Jérôme
Mhamed Arezki - Courier Achmed Tchebali
Igor Jijikine - Virginsky
The
Tourist Quotes Page
1
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[first
English speaking
lines;
Acheson answers his cell phone]John Acheson: Yes?
Capitaine Courson: She's at the usual cafe. She's speaking with a man. He looks like a messenger, but you said to call you if anything changed in her routine.
[referring to the surveillance camera's following Elise]
John Acheson: Stay on his face. His face.
Capitaine Courson: Do you think he's Alexandra Pearce?
John Acheson: I think everybody's Pearce.
[reading the letter that she received]
Elise: [voice over] Elise, you have no reason to trust me anymore, but give me a chance to explain myself. I know the police are watching you, we have to throw them off the trail. Board the eight-twenty-two, the Gare de Lyon, pick someone my height and build and make them believe it is me. Burn this letter. It is important you follow my instructions precisely. I love you, Alexander.
[Acheson is watching Elise read the letter on the surveillance camera]
John Acheson: It's from him.
[she burns the letter, Acheson gives instructions to the French police]
John Acheson: Save that letter. Go in now, save that letter
John Acheson: Well?
Brigadier: The letter is burnt to shit.
John Acheson: Don't fucking touch it. Get the ashes, take them to the van. I'll send you someone.
[to Acheson]
Chief Inspector Jones: So, Alexander Pearce has a new face, just as you suspected. I'd have thought it must have taken quite a lot of the money he stole from Reginald Shaw to finance this transformation.
[looks at a picture of the courier that had given the letter to Elise at the cafe earlier]
Chief Inspector Jones: Achmed Tchebali, bicycle courier of Algerian decent. Not only has Pearce acquired a wife and a child, he's also four inches shorter than he used to be. That must have been a big item of expenditure.
[looks at Acheson]
Chief Inspector Jones: [sarcastically] Congratulations, Acheson. You have indeed cracked this case.
John Acheson: Sir, this morning she received a note and we have strong reason to believe...
Chief Inspector Jones: Alexander Pearce, has seven hundred and forty four million in illegal assets, that given he is a British subject we might seize. This operation so far has cost me eight million. If I thought there were more than a one in a hundred chance you could be successful, it would be rational for me to continue this operation. I do not.
[on the train, Elise has picked Frank to sit opposite]
Frank Tupelo: I'm sorry.
Elise: What for?
[uncertain what to say, Frank just smiles at her]
Frank Tupelo: Do you mind me smoking? It's not a real cigarette.
Elise: What?
Frank Tupelo: It's electronic. It delivers the same amount of nicotine but the smoke is water vapor. Yeah, watch.
[he takes a few drags of the electronic cigarette and stabs the end on his hand]
Frank Tupelo: LED light.
Elise: That's somewhat disappointing.
Frank Tupelo: Would you rather have me smoking for real?
Elise: I would rather you be a man who did exactly as he pleased.
Elise: I'm Elise.
Frank Tupelo: I'm Frank.
Elise: That's a terrible name.
Frank Tupelo: [laughing] It's the only one I've got.
Elise: Maybe we can find you another.
Frank Tupelo: Okay.
Frank Tupelo: What brings you to Venice?
Elise: You read spy novels. I'm the mysterious woman on the train, you tell me what my story is.
Frank Tupelo: Okay. Um, I think you could be a diplomatic attache.
Elise: Hmmm.
Frank Tupelo: Or maybe, a girl from East Germany, who's father's been kidnapped and they're blackmailing you into stealing something for them. Probably a micro-film. There's usually micro-film involved.
Elise: What awaits me?
Frank Tupelo: Trouble, certainly.
Elise: Danger?
Frank Tupelo: Oh, yeah! You'll most likely be shot at in less than two chapters.
Elise: Hmm. Is there a man in my life?
Frank Tupelo: Have to wait and see.
Elise: Invite me to dinner, Frank?
Frank Tupelo: What?
[she gives him a look]
Frank Tupelo: Would you like to have dinner?
Elise: Women don't like questions.
Frank Tupelo: Join me for dinner.
Elise: Too demanding.
Frank Tupelo: Join me for dinner?
Elise: Another question.
[Frank thinks for a moment]
Frank Tupelo: I'm having dinner, if you'd care to join me.
[Elise smiles at him]
Elise: Musician?
[Frank shakes his head]
Elise: Bar tender?
[Frank shakes his head again]
Elise: I give up.
Frank Tupelo: Math. I teach math.
Elise: I would not have guessed that. I'd imagine you a cool maths teacher though.
Frank Tupelo: Still a math teacher.
[shows him a picture of Frank]
John Acheson: Could this be Pearce?
Acheson's Assistant: Are we still working on that?
[Acheson doesn't answer]
Acheson's Assistant: Well, I only have the sketches to go by so...
[studies the photo of Frank]
Acheson's Assistant: Ectomorph. Same basic phenotype. Bottom line, it could be him.
John Acheson: I knew he couldn't leave her. Run a world wide line check on that face, I bet you ten quid there's no match.
Acheson's Assistant: Okay, but what case number do you want to book it under?
John Acheson: Just run it.
Acheson's Assistant: You really think it's Pearce?
John Acheson: Run it.
Frank Tupelo: I have a strange feeling that those two people over there are watching us.
Elise: Do you know something? I think you're right.
Frank Tupelo: Really?
[Elise laughs]
Elise: You're a paranoid math teacher.
Elise: So, what are you doing all alone in the city of lovers? Is there no one in your life?
Frank Tupelo: There was.
Elise: What happened?
Frank Tupelo: She left me.
Elise: I'm sorry to hear that, Frank.
[after hearing the announcement that train will stop at the end of the line]
Frank Tupelo: I guess I should go and get my suitcase and stuff.
Elise: Goodbye.
Frank Tupelo: Goodbye. Thank you.
Acheson's Assistant: Sir, I...
John Acheson: Wait.
[reads from the remains of the note that Pearce had sent to Elise]
John Acheson: Pick someone my height and build and make them believe it's me.
Acheson's Assistant: We did get an exact match. He's a maths teacher from Madison Community College. Frank Tupelo. Lost his wife in a car crash three years ago. He's a tourist.
John Acheson: Thank you.
[Elise is on a boat notices Frank and calls him over]
Elise: Do you want to come with me?
Frank Tupelo: What? Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, I...I could use the lift, yeah. Thank you. That's very kind.
[in their hotel room he notices Elise looking at the closet full of clothes and jewelery]
Elise: This really is a very nice hotel, isn't it?
Frank Tupelo: They think of everything, don't they?
[to his men]
Reginald Shaw: You know he will be with her. They'll be staying at one of the grand hotels. The Gritti, the Regina, the Danieli. I want you to keep a watch on all of them. You can kill the girl, but you can't kill him. Not until I have my money that is.
[Elisa all dressed up walks into their sitting room, Frank look at her in shock]
Frank Tupelo: Fuck! You're ravenous.
Elise: Do you mean, ravishing?
Frank Tupelo: I do.
Elise: You're ravenous.
Frank Tupelo: I am.
Elise: Come on.
Elise: The um...the scampi and champagne risotto, please.
Waiter Antonio: Excellent choice. Excellent.
Frank Tupelo: He didn't say that to me. Did he not like my choice?
Elise: Your choice was excellent.
Frank Tupelo: Who is he? Hotels don't leave gifts like that, do they? Who is he?
Elise: He's someone who used to be very important to me.
Frank Tupelo: Used to? Are you meeting him in Venice?
Elise: I hope so. Part of me hopes I don't.
Frank Tupelo: Why?
Elise: Because, I don't like being told what to do. I don't like being...summoned. But it felt even worse not hearing from him for two years.
[Frank notices Elise touching her bracelet]
Elise: It's the um...the Roman god, Janus. My mother gave it to me when I was little. She wanted to teach me that people have two sides. A good side, a bad side, a past, a future. And that we must embrace both in someone we love. And I tried.
Frank Tupelo: What's he like?
Elise: He's...different, from anybody I know.
Frank Tupelo: Different's good. Where I come from, the highest compliment they can offer a person is to say that they're down to earth, grounded. I hate it. It drives me nuts.
[in their hotel room]
Frank Tupelo: It really was a nice restaurant, wasn't it? Very nice wine. I'm making us a nice little drink. Which is very nice of me, isn't it?
[Elise laughs, he hands her the drink]
Elise: Thank you.
Frank Tupelo: Were those flowers here when we checked in?
[she opens and reads the note that was on the flowers]
Elise: It's an invitation to a ball, two nights from now.
Frank Tupelo: Ah, you've been summoned.
Elise: It appears I have.
Frank
Tupelo: May
I pay you a compliment?Elise: Another question you need never ask.
Frank Tupelo: You are the least down to earth person I've ever met.
[Elise kisses him and the men camping outside her hotel start taking surveillance pictures]
Elise: It's been a long day. I do hope the couch will be comfortable. Good night.
[two men are trying to kill Frank, he locks himself in the bathroom and calls the hotel reception]
Frank Tupelo: Hello? Please help!
Hotel Concierge Alessio: Buongiorno signore.
Frank Tupelo: Buongiorno. I...I need help! There are two men trying to break down the door.
Hotel Concierge Alessio: I see, what kind of problem do you have with the door, sir?
Frank Tupelo: No, no, no! There are two men with guns trying to break in! Dos hombres, con...con pistolas!
Hotel Concierge Alessio: Your Spanish is excellent, sir.
Frank Tupelo: Thank you.
[the men shoot their guns at the door]
Frank Tupelo: Ah, I gotta go!
[he drops the phone and goes out the window]
Hotel Concierge Alessio: Sir?
[puts the phone down]
Hotel Concierge Alessio: American!
[on the phone to Acheson]
Sergente Cerato: Commander Acheson, two armed men are chasing the American from yesterday. Shots have been fired. Request permission to intervene.
John Acheson: You still have Elise?
Sergente Cerato: I still have a visual on the Elise Ward, but the American is in imminent danger.
John Acheson: You mean the mathematics teacher from Wisconsin? I'd say not our man, Nate.
Sergente Cerato: Sir, this man is in real peril.
John Acheson: This is exactly why she chose him. To distract us. Stay with her, do not move unless she moves. Am I making myself crystal clear?
Sergente Cerato: Sir, they will kill him.
John Acheson: Not our man, Nate
[at the police station]
Colonnello Lombardi: Now, you wish to report a murder?
Frank Tupelo: No, some people tried to kill me.
Colonnello Lombardi: I was told you were reporting a murder.
Frank Tupelo: Attempted murder.
Colonnello Lombardi: That's not so serious.
Frank Tupelo: Mmm, no, not when you downgrade it from a murder. But when you upgrade it from room service it's quite serious.
Colonnello Lombardi: So is assaulting a police officer.
Frank Tupelo: That was an accident.
Colonnello Lombardi: The officer feels differently.
Frank Tupelo: With all due respect sir, I think maybe I should be talking to someone....someone not Italian. The embassy or Interpol.
Colonnello Lombardi: Interpol?
Frank Tupelo: I'm a American citizen.
Colonnello Lombardi:What does it mean?
Frank Tupelo: I don't know, but I'm involved in something here and no offense, this is not a local issue.
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Total
Quotes: 75
