By Sandra Laight
Five of us, with great anticipation I might add, went to a screening of The Witch on Saturday night. The five of us left wanting our money back and to punch the reviewers in the face for such misleading and downright false information.
The only scary parts were the 1.5hours of our lives gone forever on this misadventure and the 15 dollars of our money wasted on this farce and when the women in front of us demanded we stop talking. We had to talk because the only respite from this borefest was to amuse ourselves.
How was this film even branded a horror film? It was the least scary thing I have ever watched second only to The Babadook, that other farcical lie of so-called horror.
What has happened to this genre to reduce it to such pap? Is it that we are an increasingly jaded audience who are now incapable of being scared? I don’t think so. Insidious and Sinister were good recent additions to the genre. I believe the fault lies in the marketing and reviewing machines which churn out hyperbole ad nauseum like real estate property descriptions. It has gotten so bad that a friend refuses to pay to see any more horror films in the cinema because he knows they will be a waste of time and money. He warned me off going to see The Witch saying it would be a dud and he was right.
How tragic that lovers of the genre like us are abandoning it because the reviews and trailers can no longer be trusted. The very people who are entrusted to increase the profits of the industry are causing its downfall.
The cinema was barely quarter full and the audible groans and mutterings of disappointment were shared by all of us. There was not one gasp or jump from anyone and I didn’t see anyone slinking down into their seat or covering their eyes. I know this because I was looking at the audience as they were even more interesting than looking at the screen.
This film has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. The dialogue was rushed and often incomprehensible and the director resorted to cheap implied nastiness (the daughter undressing the father provocatively, the brother fixating on his sisters new breasts) to try (unsuccessfully) to set up a sense of dread.
Give this one a wide birth.BEST QUOTES