Tropic
Thunder
Quotes (Page 5)
Tropic
Thunder Quotes
Part 1
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[after
breaking into the Flaming Dragon
compound
and going into the ammunition
hut]Alpa Chino: What are you guys doing here?
Cody: He has hands!
Four Leaf Tayback: He killed Damien!
Cody: Bullshit!
Four Leaf Tayback: He blinded Jamie Lee Curtis!
Cody: Almost!
Alpa Chino: What're you talking about? Damien stepped on an old landmine.
Cody: Oh, sweet. Thank God!
Tran: Where is your farm...
[points his gun at Lazarus]
Tran: ...AMERICAN?
Kirk Lazarus: My farm?
Alpa Chino: Oh, shit!
Kirk Lazarus: Here's my motherfuckin' farm!
[pulls out his rifle and starts firing]
Kirk Lazarus:Yeah! Yeah! Chicka- chickaw, baby! Kwan-Lo! I'm a lead farmer, motherfucka!
[Portnoy takes Tran and holds a gun to his head]
Jeff Portnoy: Nobody move or I do the little big guy!
Kirk Lazarus: That's right, we running this program now, J.P.
[to Tran]
Jeff Portnoy: Now show me where the drugs are.
Kirk Lazarus: What the fuck? That ain't the plan!
[Portnoy runs away with Tran in his arms]
Jeff Portnoy: Don't judge meeee!
Kevin Sandusky: He's got a real serious problem.
[to the Flaming Dragon guards]
Alpa Chino: Get down. Get down! Get down! Chow Yun-Fat, get the hell down! If I see one more head pop up, it's gonna be bullet Whac-A-Mole.
[Cody throws Tayback some ammunition]
Four Leaf Tayback: What's this?
Cody: I don't know what it's called. I just know the sound it makes when it LIES!
[Lazarus finds Speedman in one of the Flaming Dragon huts]
Kirk Lazarus: Gotcha. Roll your shit up, man
.
We goin' home.Tugg Speedman: Home? But I'm doing five shows a day for a standing-room-only crowd. Don't you get it? I already am home.
Kirk Lazarus: Uh..oh. All right, now, dude, you gotta get it. togeth..
[tries to grab hold of Speedman]
Tugg Speedman: My son gave this to me.
[Speedman hold up the twig man]
Kirk Lazarus: That's your stick buddy?
Tugg Speedman: His name is Twigman.
Kirk Lazarus: Does he wanna come with us?
[to the guards]
Alpa Chino: Maybe y'all heard of me. Y'all heard of Alpa Chino? No? I love that pussy, hell, yeah, hell, yeah.
[Cody watches Alpa from the ammunition hut]
Cody: They're not your demo, dude.
Alpa Chino: Come on. Six motherfuckin' VMA's, baby. Two BET Awards. Alpa Chino.
Flaming Dragon Bodyguard: Like him in Carlito Way?
Alpa Chino: Hey, yo, you know what? Speak English. I don't speak that stuff. What're you sayin'? Huh?
Flaming Dragon Bodyguard: Devil Advocate. Dog Day Afternoon.
Cody: Cruising. Sea of Love.
Flaming Dragon Bodyguard: Real Al Pacino.
Alpa Chino: Get the fuck down. That's a whole different dude altogether.
Four Leaf Tayback: What're you doing?
Cody: I'm gonna give these boys a Hanoi high-five.
[Cody throws a bomb in to the middle of the Flaming Dragon compound; to Tayback]
Cody: Shadow me, Pinocchio!
[Portnoy has found the Heroin room in the Flaming Dragon compound]
Jeff Portnoy: It doesn't matter what I do. I'll always be a screw-up. No one'll ever respect me.
Kevin Sandusky: That is not true, you are not a screw-up! You make so many people laugh.
Jeff Portnoy: They only laugh at my farts.
Kevin Sandusky: Jeff, we really need to go now!
Jeff Portnoy: This is all I deserve!
[grabs two fist full of heroin powder, then two guards burst in to the room and Portnoy starts to fart making the guards laugh]
Jeff Portnoy: Laugh at that, you bastards! Ha..ha..ha! Oh hilarious! Hilarious!
[Portnoy shoves the heroin in his hands into the guards' faces and the guards drop to the ground; to Sandusky]
Jeff Portnoy: Let's move! We only have 16 hours before they wake up!
[referring to Speedman who's gone crazy]
Kirk Lazarus: He's on tilt status. Same thing happened to me when I played Neil Armstrong in "Moonshot". They found me in an alley in Burbank tryin' to re-enter the Earth's atmosphere in an old refrigerator box.
Jeff Portnoy: What...what're you talking about?
Kevin Sandusky: Come on, fellas, we really need to go.
Kirk Lazarus: Dag...gomit, Blamtucky, I ain't re-programming a VCR!
Kirk Lazarus: You're gonna focus up now, motherfucker, and say it. "It's me, Tugg!"
Tugg Speedman: It's me, Tugg.
Kirk Lazarus: That's right! Now, Tugg who?
Tugg Speedman: Tugg who? I don't know. Who are you?
Kirk Lazarus: Me?
I know who I
am! I'm a dude playin' a dude disguised as another dude.Kevin Sandusky: What?
Kirk Lazarus: You a dude that don't know what dude he is!
Tugg Speedman: Or are you a dude who has no idea what dude he is and claims to know what dude he is...
Jeff Portnoy: What the fuck are you guys talking about?
Tugg Speedman: ...by playing other dudes?
Kirk Lazarus: I know what dude I am!
Jeff Portnoy: What's going on?
Tugg Speedman: The dudes are emerging.
Kirk Lazarus: He's right, you know. I am not Sergeant Lincoln Osiris...
[rips off his wig to reveal his blond hair]
Alpa Chino: We gotta roll out.
Kirk Lazarus: ...Nor am I Father O'Malley...Or Neil Armstrong.
[he removes the beard and the contact lenses to reveal his blue eyes and speaks in his natural Australian accent]
Kirk Lazarus: I...I think I might be nobody.
Kevin Sandusky: Wow! The insecurity level with you guys is ridiculous!
Kevin Sandusky: Tugg, Tugger, you're the last piece of the puzzle, buddy. We need you! Your men need you! Are you with us?
[there's a pause before Speedman replies]
Tugg Speedman: I'm a rooster illusion.
Kevin Sandusky: Fuck it. We'll deal with him later.
[rigging a bridge with explosives]
Cody: Oh, God! Just say no to this, you drug-making midget!
[Portnoy is holding on to back of a moving truck when he notices Tayback]
Jeff Portnoy: Four Leaf!
[Tayback jumps onto the truck holding on with his hands]
Jeff Portnoy: You grew hands?
[whilst rigging an explosive]
Cody: Oh, my God! I am moving to catering after this!
[shouting to Speedman]
Alpa Chino: We gotta get his cracker ass to the chopper! Are you still crazy? We gotta get Candisky to the chopper!
Tugg Speedman: It's Sandusky. Kevin Sandusky.
Kevin Sandusky: My name. You remembered my name.
Kirk Lazarus: You're not doing tofu dinner theater for these motherfuckers. Let's roll!
Jeff Portnoy: Get over here!
Tugg Speedman: I have a son now. Little Half Squat.
Kirk Lazarus: Who in crikey fuck is Half Squat?
Tugg Speedman: He's my son. He's my boy! He needs me. I have to go back to him.
[he embraces Lazarus]
Tugg Speedman: You tell the world what happened here.
Kirk Lazarus: What happened here?
Tugg Speedman: I don't know, but you need to tell them.
Jeff Portnoy: Where is he going? We're gonna fucking die!
Four Leaf Tayback: Laz, come on! He joined the circus. Let's go!
Kirk Lazarus: You've got hands?
Four Leaf Tayback: Yeah
Kirk Lazarus: Fuck! You've got hands?
[Speedman is running back on the bridge with Half Squat on his shoulders trying to stab him with a knife]
Tugg Speedman: I was wrong! Blow the bridge! Blow the fucking bridge!
[after the bridge explosion we see Speedman through the smoke with his arms out, christ like then falling face down in the mud]
Kirk Lazarus: Think he's done. Cover me!
[the others are yelling at him to come back into the helicopter]
Kevin Sandusky: How do we cover him?
[gets to Speedman whose lying in the mud]
Kirk Lazarus: You all right, man?
Tugg Speedman: I'm cold. I can't feel my legs.
Kirk Lazarus: No, no, they're in a puddle, mate. See? There's a puddle right there.
Tugg Speedman: Hey! I want you to know something.
Kirk Lazarus: What?
Tugg Speedman: I know who you are. You're my friend. You're my brother. But like a really cool brother, you know? Like a brother where there was no animosity or...
Kirk Lazarus: Don't look now, you got some real tears going.
Tugg Speedman: Really?
Kirk Lazarus: That's the stuff that accolades are made of.
[Tran and his guards are getting ready to shoot a grenade at the helicopter when Peck appears through the jungle]
Rick Peck: Tuggernuts! I got it! Tugger!
Tugg Speedman: Rick!
Kevin Sandusky: What the fuck?
Rick Peck: I got the TiVo!
[holds the Tivo up and starts running towards the helicopter]
Rick Peck: My friend wants a TiVo, my friend gets a TiVo!
[at the Oscar Ceremony]
Kirk Lazarus: And the Oscar goes to...Yes! Tugg Speedman. "Tropic Blunder: The True Story Behind the Making of the Most Expensive Fake True War Story Ever."
[last lines]
Rob Slolom: Eight Oscars, $400 million and you saved Tugg Speedman's career.
Les Grossman: Hmmmm...I couldn't have done it without you, Slolom.
Rob Slolom: Really?
Les Grossman: No, dickhead, of course I could. A nutless monkey could do your job.
Rob Slolom: Well, I...
Les Grossman: Now, go get drunk and take credit
at all the parties.Rob Slolom: I would never do that to...
Les Grossman: Ah...joking.
Rob Slolom: Yeah?
Les Grossman: Yeah.
Rob Slolom: Very...okay. There he is. There he is. Okay.
Les Grossman: Go have fun.
Rob Slolom: All right.
Les Grossman: Go have fun.
Rob Slolom: We're having a...Fuck, okay. Thank you, Les. Thank you. You have a good night.
Les Grossman: But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job.
Rob Slolom: Good. Thank you, sir.
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Total
Quotes: 145
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