war-on-everyone

Starring: Alexander Skarsgård, Michael Peña, Theo James, Tessa Thompson, Caleb Landry Jones, Paul Reiser

Crime comedy written and directed by John Michael McDonagh in which the story follows two corrupt cops, Terry Monroe and Bob Bolaño (Alexander Skarsgård and Michael Peña), in New Mexico who set out to blackmail and frame every criminal unfortunate enough to cross their path. Things take a sinister turn, however, when they try to intimidate someone who is more dangerous than they are. Or is he?

 

Best Quotes from Trailer:

 

[as they’re driving fast down the a street]
Bob Bolaño: I love this song.
Terry Monroe: Great song.
Bob Bolaño: I always wondered if you hit a mime if they’d make a sound.
[Monroe hits the mime artist with the car; who topples over silently over the car]
Terry Monroe: Well now you know.


 

Lt. Gerry Stanton: Welcome back, boys. How did we enjoy our sabbatical?
Bob Bolaño: It was very relaxing I masturbated a lot.


 

Lt. Gerry Stanton: I received very serious allegations of an assault. Corruption charges against you. Now what have we learned?
Bob Bolaño: Bribery and corruption are bad.
Lt. Gerry Stanton: Yes! Progress has been made.


 

Bob Bolaño: Are you trying to bribe us, ma’am.
Jackie Hollis: No.
Bob Bolaño: Dammit.


 

Terry Monroe: What happened to the driver?
Lt. Gerry Stanton: He got away with the money, close to a mil.


 

Lord James Mangan: A million dollars.
Woman: A million dollars.


 

Bob Bolaño: Who’s money?
Terry Monroe: Our money.


 

Lt. Gerry Stanton: The whole thing was planned by this British dude named James Mangan.


 

[Monroe and Bolaño walk into a bar]
Pádraic Power: What’s the crack, lads?
[Monroe holds up his police badge]
Terry Monroe: You know how to read, don’t you?
Pádraic Power: I’m actually dyslexic.
[Monroe suddenly kicks him in the crotch]


 

[Monroe and Bolaño walk into the men’s bathroom where Reggie is cleaning]
Bob Bolaño: What’s that, Terry?
[Monroe holds an envelope with some white powder inside it]
Terry Monroe: A controlled substance. It was hidden in his anus.
Bob Bolaño: You dirty motherfucker. You’re a dealer now, Reggie.
Reggie: You two are fucked up.
Bob Bolaño: Bingo.
[Monroe and Bolaño start laughing]


 

[they hear police sirens as they are trying to bust Reggie in the bathroom for having drugs]
Terry Monroe: Ssh, cops.
[Bob chuckles]
Bob Bolaño: We are the cops!


 

Delores: Got a nice swim, honey?
Cesar Bolaño: My eyes hurt.
Delores: You put too much chlorine in that pool.
Bob Bolaño: He’s been up to something.
Cesar Bolaño: No, I haven’t.
[mimicking his voice]
Bob Bolaño: No, I haven’t. All innocent Little Lord Fauntleroy over here.


 

Terry Monroe: [to Bolaño] Let’s go fuck some scumbags.


 

Man: Get the hell off this property.
[Terry starts chasing him]
Man: What are you doing?
Terry Monroe: Oh, no, no, no. Get back here, you little bastard!


 

Boy on Bike: What are you doing?
Bob Bolaño: Fuck off.
Boy on Bike: You fuck off.
Terry Monroe: You fuck off.
Boy on Bike: You fuck off.
Terry Monroe: No, you fuck off.


 

Bob Bolaño: Where’s James Mangan?
[Monroe puts his head in a trough of water to make him talk, then his wig slips off his head]
Man: Give me back my wig!
Bob Bolaño: [to Monroe] Put the wig on. Put the wig on.
[Monroe tries to wring out the water from the wig]
Terry Monroe: I’m sorry, man. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you like that, man.


 

[referring to Mangan]
Bob Bolaño: Where can I find him?
Reggie: What am I, Huggy Bear now?
Pádraic Power: [chuckles] Huggy Bear.


 

Pádraic Power: There’s no plot in these things anymore.
Reggie: If you ain’t got a good script you ain’t got shit.

 

War on Everyone is set for release in the UK October 7th.

Trailers:

 

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