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Starring: Tom Hanks, Benjamin Evan Ainsworth, Cynthia Erivo, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Keegan-Michael Key, Lorraine Bracco, Luke Evans
OUR RATING: ★★☆☆☆
Disney+ live-action musical fantasy directed and co-written by Robert Zemeckis. Pinocchio (2022) follows Geppetto (Tom Hanks), the wood carver who builds a wooden puppet, Pinocchio (Benjamin Evan Ainsworth), and treats him as if he were his own son. The story then centers on Pinocchio as he dreams of becoming a real boy, the relationship between a father and son, the ramifications of lying and creating stories, and living in a fantasy world.
Our Favorite Quotes:'It's not about what you're made of on the outside. Being real is in your heart. That's what being real is all about.' - Jiminy Cricket (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet
Jiminy Cricket: [singing] When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.
Jiminy Cricket: Isn’t that a catchy little tune?
Jiminy Cricket: Well, how do? Cricket’s the name. Jiminy Cricket, to be precise. And I’m here to tell you one humdinger of a tale. It’s a story that begins a long time ago. Well, actually, it’s a story that begins once upon a time, a long time ago. That’s right. Much better. Much more precise.
Jiminy Cricket: Never understood that expression. How can it be “once upon a time”?
Jiminy Cricket (Narrator): Hey, who’s telling this story? Me or you?
Jiminy Cricket: Well, who are you?
Jiminy Cricket (Narrator): I’m you. Only older and wiser.
Jiminy Cricket: Really? How do you figure?
Jiminy Cricket (Narrator): Because I’m the narrator telling this story post facto. I know exactly what’s going to happen to you on this adventure.
Jiminy Cricket: Really? Well, let me ask you this. Am I ever going to be warm again?
Jiminy Cricket (Narrator): Just keep walking. You’ll find out.
Jiminy Cricket: [reading the sign] “Mastro Geppetto. Wood-carver, fabricator of clocks, toys, oddments.” Oddments, huh? Sounds like my kind of place.
'There are other ways to make a boy, but I don't think Geppetto gets out much. And I guess it's the best he could do with the tools he's got. Of course, I'm just a talking cricket, so I'm not one to pass judgment on what's real.' Click To Tweet
Geppetto: I see him in my dreams, so perfectly, it seems. If I could only make these dreams come true. I may never find this vision in my mind. Memory may hold the key to feeling how I felt when he was here with me. There was so much laughter. But we couldn’t see happily ever after was never meant to be. If only this could be more than a memory. But memory will have to be the way this old man’s eyes can see just how it really was when he was here with me.
Geppetto: I’m very sorry, but I cannot sell you any of my cuckoo clocks.
Signore Rizzi: But if you cannot sell your clocks, why do you have a shop?
Geppetto: It’s complicated.
Geppetto: My clocks are my most special creations. I made them for my beloved Constanza, and she loved every one of them. Every one of them. Oh. But never as much as she loved you, my dear boy.
Geppetto: No more of these sad thoughts, huh? Time for some happiness. This is why I gave you a smile. So that you will always be happy. What is your name? You should have a name of your own. Yes. Yes. Now, what should it be? What should it be? I carved you out of wood. I made you out of pine. You’re a boy made out of pine. Pine-occhio. Pine-occhio. Pinocchio. Huh? Pinocchio. Yeah.
'A conscience is that still small voice that most people refuse to listen to. And that is the entire problem with the world today.' - Jiminy Cricket (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet
Geppetto: Figaro, look at Pinocchio there in the moonlight. He looks almost like a real boy.
Geppetto: Star light, star bright. First star I see tonight. I wish, I wish… How do I say this? I wish…
Geppetto: The problem with that one clock, it talks too much. Get it? It talks too much. Tick-tock. The clock tick-tocks too much?
Geppetto: If my wish came true, Figaro, that would be wonderful. Wonderful.
'The most important part about being real isn't what you're made of. It's about what's in your heart.' - Blue Fairy (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet
Jiminy Cricket: [referring to Pinocchio] Jumping jeepers. He’s alive!
Jiminy Cricket: Holy moly. You can walk.
Pinocchio: “Holy moly. You can walk.”
Jiminy Cricket: Shut my mouth. You can talk.
Pinocchio: “Shut my mouth. You can talk.”
Jiminy Cricket: No, you can talk.
Pinocchio: “No, you can talk.”
Jiminy Cricket: I know I can talk. And so can you.
Blue Fairy: [referring to Pinocchio] You’re not really real, are you?
Jiminy Cricket: Of course he’s real! He’s alive, isn’t he?
Blue Fairy: And who might you be?
Jiminy Cricket: Jiminy Cricket. Bug, boulevardier, flâneur, man of leisure.
'This little puppet is running around loose on the streets without a conscience! Can you imagine the trouble he's going to get into?' - Jiminy Cricket, 'Well, I wouldn't want that on my conscience.' - Sofia (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet
Pinocchio: My name is Pinocchio.
Blue Fairy: Sounds like your head is made of white pine. Hence, Pinocchio. The perfect name for a boy with a wooden head.
Pinocchio: I’m a boy?
Blue Fairy: Well, a wooden boy.
Blue Fairy: If Geppetto wanted a real boy, why would he carve a puppet?
Jiminy Cricket: Well, sure, there are other ways to make a boy, but I don’t think Geppetto gets out much. And I guess it’s the best he could do with the tools he’s got. Of course, I’m just a talking cricket, so I’m not one to pass judgment on what’s real.
Pinocchio: Ms. Blue Fairy, am I real?
Blue Fairy: Yes, Pinocchio, you’re real, alright. A real, live, living puppet that’s painted to look like a real, live, living boy. Almost what your father wished for.
Pinocchio: So when do I become a real, real, live, living boy? Because it sounds like that’s what will make my father happy.
Blue Fairy: Geppetto has done his part, and I have done mine. And to be real is up to you. You have to prove that you are brave, truthful, and unselfish.
Pinocchio: How do I do that?
Blue Fairy: Well, by learning to choose between right and wrong.
Pinocchio: Okay, but how do I do that?
Blue Fairy: Your conscience will tell you.
Pinocchio: “Conshuns”? Who are they?
Blue Fairy: No. No. “Conscience”. Abstract, noun, singular.
Jiminy Cricket: A conscience is that still small voice that most people refuse to listen to. And that is the entire problem with the world today.
Pinocchio: Are you my conscience?
Jiminy Cricket: Huh? Me? No, I’m not a conscience. I’m a cricket. More of an insect than an instinct.
Blue Fairy: Would you like to be his conscience?
Jiminy Cricket: Me? No, thanks. I’ve got enough on my plate.
Blue Fairy: Oh, really? I see a lost soul, an insect of no fixed address. An aimless vagabond hopping from hearth to hearth with no direction, no job, no prospects, and no purpose in life.
Jiminy Cricket: Now look here. Just because a fella sneaks into somebody’s house to warm his backside, and sure, he might have gotten kicked out of a place or two, but… Okay, you have a point.
'As a rule of thumb, when somebody calls themselves “honest”, they ain't. Especially, if they're an agent.' - Jiminy Cricket (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet
Blue Fairy: Do you know the difference between right and wrong?
Jiminy Cricket: You’re darn tooting, I do. I consider myself a bug of high moral standards, no matter what you may have heard.
Blue Fairy: Well, that settles it then. Kneel, Mr. Cricket. I hereby appoint you Pinocchio’s conscience.
Jiminy Cricket: Temporary conscience.
Blue Fairy: Sure. Temporary conscience. Until such time as Pinocchio may grow his own. Henceforth, you are the high keeper of the knowledge of right and wrong, and a trusted counselor during moments of temptation.
Blue Fairy: Pinocchio, when a boy is brave, truthful, and unselfish, it makes his father proud. And the most important part about being real isn’t what you’re made of. It’s about what’s in your heart.
Pinocchio: It’s me, Pinocchio!
Geppetto: You talk!
Pinocchio: Yeah. And I can walk.
'You don't fit in a traditional educational environment. You are misunderstood, just like every great actor who ever walked the earth.' - Honest John (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet
Geppetto: An almost real boy! Look at you. Look. Look at you! You are an almost real boy! We can be a family.
Jiminy Cricket: And so Pinocchio became part of Geppetto’s little family. And despite a few minor blended family issues, they became a stable, well-adjusted household.
Pinocchio: I’ll come straight home right after school.
Geppetto: I will be right here when you get back.
'Everybody knows psyching out your opponent is a great strategy. You got to do what you got to do to win.' - Lampwick (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet
Jiminy Cricket: First real day on the job and I’m already late!
Jiminy Cricket: Don’t eat me!
Sofia: Calm down. I don’t like bugs. Too much work. I prefer garbage.