Pinocchio (2022) Best Movie Quotes on Disney+

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Starring: Tom Hanks, Benjamin Evan Ainsworth, Cynthia Erivo, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Keegan-Michael Key, Lorraine Bracco, Luke Evans

OUR RATING: ★★☆☆☆

Story:

Disney+ live-action musical fantasy directed and co-written by Robert Zemeckis. Pinocchio (2022) follows Geppetto (Tom Hanks), the wood carver who builds a wooden puppet, Pinocchio (Benjamin Evan Ainsworth), and treats him as if he were his own son. The story then centers on Pinocchio as he dreams of becoming a real boy, the relationship between a father and son, the ramifications of lying and creating stories, and living in a fantasy world.

Our Favorite Quotes:

'It's not about what you're made of on the outside. Being real is in your heart. That's what being real is all about.' - Jiminy Cricket (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet

Best Quotes

Jiminy Cricket: [singing] When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.
Jiminy Cricket: Isn’t that a catchy little tune?

Jiminy Cricket: Well, how do? Cricket’s the name. Jiminy Cricket, to be precise. And I’m here to tell you one humdinger of a tale. It’s a story that begins a long time ago. Well, actually, it’s a story that begins once upon a time, a long time ago. That’s right. Much better. Much more precise.

Jiminy Cricket: Never understood that expression. How can it be “once upon a time”?
Jiminy Cricket (Narrator): Hey, who’s telling this story? Me or you?
Jiminy Cricket: Well, who are you?
Jiminy Cricket (Narrator): I’m you. Only older and wiser.
Jiminy Cricket: Really? How do you figure?
Jiminy Cricket (Narrator): Because I’m the narrator telling this story post facto. I know exactly what’s going to happen to you on this adventure.
Jiminy Cricket: Really? Well, let me ask you this. Am I ever going to be warm again?
Jiminy Cricket (Narrator): Just keep walking. You’ll find out.

Jiminy Cricket: [reading the sign] “Mastro Geppetto. Wood-carver, fabricator of clocks, toys, oddments.” Oddments, huh? Sounds like my kind of place.

'There are other ways to make a boy, but I don't think Geppetto gets out much. And I guess it's the best he could do with the tools he's got. Of course, I'm just a talking cricket, so I'm not one to pass judgment on what's real.' Click To Tweet

Geppetto: I see him in my dreams, so perfectly, it seems. If I could only make these dreams come true. I may never find this vision in my mind. Memory may hold the key to feeling how I felt when he was here with me. There was so much laughter. But we couldn’t see happily ever after was never meant to be. If only this could be more than a memory. But memory will have to be the way this old man’s eyes can see just how it really was when he was here with me.

Geppetto: I’m very sorry, but I cannot sell you any of my cuckoo clocks.
Signore Rizzi: But if you cannot sell your clocks, why do you have a shop?
Geppetto: It’s complicated.

Geppetto: My clocks are my most special creations. I made them for my beloved Constanza, and she loved every one of them. Every one of them. Oh. But never as much as she loved you, my dear boy.

Geppetto: No more of these sad thoughts, huh? Time for some happiness. This is why I gave you a smile. So that you will always be happy. What is your name? You should have a name of your own. Yes. Yes. Now, what should it be? What should it be? I carved you out of wood. I made you out of pine. You’re a boy made out of pine. Pine-occhio. Pine-occhio. Pinocchio. Huh? Pinocchio. Yeah.

'A conscience is that still small voice that most people refuse to listen to. And that is the entire problem with the world today.' - Jiminy Cricket (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet

Geppetto: Figaro, look at Pinocchio there in the moonlight. He looks almost like a real boy.

Geppetto: Star light, star bright. First star I see tonight. I wish, I wish… How do I say this? I wish…

Geppetto: The problem with that one clock, it talks too much. Get it? It talks too much. Tick-tock. The clock tick-tocks too much?

Geppetto: If my wish came true, Figaro, that would be wonderful. Wonderful.

'The most important part about being real isn't what you're made of. It's about what's in your heart.' - Blue Fairy (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet

Jiminy Cricket: [referring to Pinocchio] Jumping jeepers. He’s alive!

Jiminy Cricket: Holy moly. You can walk.
Pinocchio: “Holy moly. You can walk.”
Jiminy Cricket: Shut my mouth. You can talk.
Pinocchio: “Shut my mouth. You can talk.”
Jiminy Cricket: No, you can talk.
Pinocchio: “No, you can talk.”
Jiminy Cricket: I know I can talk. And so can you.

Blue Fairy: [referring to Pinocchio] You’re not really real, are you?
Jiminy Cricket: Of course he’s real! He’s alive, isn’t he?

Blue Fairy: And who might you be?
Jiminy Cricket: Jiminy Cricket. Bug, boulevardier, flâneur, man of leisure.

'This little puppet is running around loose on the streets without a conscience! Can you imagine the trouble he's going to get into?' - Jiminy Cricket, 'Well, I wouldn't want that on my conscience.' - Sofia (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet

Pinocchio: My name is Pinocchio.
Blue Fairy: Sounds like your head is made of white pine. Hence, Pinocchio. The perfect name for a boy with a wooden head.
Pinocchio: I’m a boy?
Blue Fairy: Well, a wooden boy.

Blue Fairy: If Geppetto wanted a real boy, why would he carve a puppet?
Jiminy Cricket: Well, sure, there are other ways to make a boy, but I don’t think Geppetto gets out much. And I guess it’s the best he could do with the tools he’s got. Of course, I’m just a talking cricket, so I’m not one to pass judgment on what’s real.

Pinocchio: Ms. Blue Fairy, am I real?
Blue Fairy: Yes, Pinocchio, you’re real, alright. A real, live, living puppet that’s painted to look like a real, live, living boy. Almost what your father wished for.
Pinocchio: So when do I become a real, real, live, living boy? Because it sounds like that’s what will make my father happy.

'Nobody wants to be a nobody. Everybody who's anybody wants to be a somebody.' - Honest John (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet

Blue Fairy: Geppetto has done his part, and I have done mine. And to be real is up to you. You have to prove that you are brave, truthful, and unselfish.
Pinocchio: How do I do that?
Blue Fairy: Well, by learning to choose between right and wrong.
Pinocchio: Okay, but how do I do that?
Blue Fairy: Your conscience will tell you.
Pinocchio: “Conshuns”? Who are they?
Blue Fairy: No. No. “Conscience”. Abstract, noun, singular.

Jiminy Cricket: A conscience is that still small voice that most people refuse to listen to. And that is the entire problem with the world today.
Pinocchio: Are you my conscience?
Jiminy Cricket: Huh? Me? No, I’m not a conscience. I’m a cricket. More of an insect than an instinct.

Blue Fairy: Would you like to be his conscience?
Jiminy Cricket: Me? No, thanks. I’ve got enough on my plate.
Blue Fairy: Oh, really? I see a lost soul, an insect of no fixed address. An aimless vagabond hopping from hearth to hearth with no direction, no job, no prospects, and no purpose in life.
Jiminy Cricket: Now look here. Just because a fella sneaks into somebody’s house to warm his backside, and sure, he might have gotten kicked out of a place or two, but… Okay, you have a point.

'As a rule of thumb, when somebody calls themselves “honest”, they ain't. Especially, if they're an agent.' - Jiminy Cricket (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet

Blue Fairy: Do you know the difference between right and wrong?
Jiminy Cricket: You’re darn tooting, I do. I consider myself a bug of high moral standards, no matter what you may have heard.
Blue Fairy: Well, that settles it then. Kneel, Mr. Cricket. I hereby appoint you Pinocchio’s conscience.
Jiminy Cricket: Temporary conscience.
Blue Fairy: Sure. Temporary conscience. Until such time as Pinocchio may grow his own. Henceforth, you are the high keeper of the knowledge of right and wrong, and a trusted counselor during moments of temptation.

Blue Fairy: Pinocchio, when a boy is brave, truthful, and unselfish, it makes his father proud. And the most important part about being real isn’t what you’re made of. It’s about what’s in your heart.

Pinocchio: It’s me, Pinocchio!
Geppetto: You talk!
Pinocchio: Yeah. And I can walk.

'You don't fit in a traditional educational environment. You are misunderstood, just like every great actor who ever walked the earth.' - Honest John (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet

Geppetto: An almost real boy! Look at you. Look. Look at you! You are an almost real boy! We can be a family.

Jiminy Cricket: And so Pinocchio became part of Geppetto’s little family. And despite a few minor blended family issues, they became a stable, well-adjusted household.

Pinocchio: I’ll come straight home right after school.
Geppetto: I will be right here when you get back.

'Everybody knows psyching out your opponent is a great strategy. You got to do what you got to do to win.' - Lampwick (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet

Jiminy Cricket: First real day on the job and I’m already late!

Jiminy Cricket: Don’t eat me!
Sofia: Calm down. I don’t like bugs. Too much work. I prefer garbage.

See more Pinocchio Quotes

Sofia: Who knew they were outsourcing conscience work? Back in my day…
Jiminy Cricket: Sofia, I really need to get to him. This little puppet is running around loose on the streets without a conscience! Can you imagine the trouble he’s going to get into?
Sofia: Well, I wouldn’t want that on my conscience.

Honest John: School, a noble institution. What would this stupid world be without it?

Honest John: A wooden boy! Look at that, Gideon. It’s amazing. A living puppet without strings!

Honest John: You must be constructed of pretty sturdy oak.
Pinocchio: I’m pine. That’s why I’m called…
Honest John: Oh. Yes, pine. Well, we can’t all be constructed of quality lumber.

Honest John: Why on earth would you want to be real, when you can be famous?!

Pinocchio: Fame? But I want to be real.
Honest John: Yes, yes, my boy. But did you know, many people say that you’re not actually real until everybody knows about you? Why, to be famous is to be real. Until then, you’re just a nobody. Do you want to be a nobody? No! Nobody wants to be a nobody. Everybody who’s anybody wants to be a somebody.

Honest John: Who needs an education when one has such a personality, such a profile, such a physique? Why, he is a natural born actor. Right, Gideon? And not just an actor. An entrepreneur. Nay, an influencer!

Honest John: We need a simple, strong stage name. Slab Oakley. Chad Log. I’ve got it. Chris Pine. No, it’d never work.

Pinocchio: Jiminy, guess what? I don’t need to go to school. I’m going to be famous instead. And that’ll make Father proud.
Jiminy Cricket: Alright. Now calm down, son. Remember what I said about temptation? Well, that’s him.
Pinocchio: Oh, no. That’s Mr. Honest John. He’s my agent.
Jiminy Cricket: Honest John? Pinokes, as a rule of thumb, when somebody calls themselves “honest”, they ain’t. Especially, if they’re an agent.

Jiminy Cricket: What in Sam Hill do we pay taxes for?
Pinocchio: What are taxes?
Jiminy Cricket: Nothing you need to worry about, especially now that you’re not going to be famous.

Pinocchio: Aren’t you coming with me?
Jiminy Cricket: No, Pinoke. Most schools don’t take kindly to insects. They lump me in with wasps, cockroaches, and termites. I’ll be waiting for you here when school lets out.

Jiminy Cricket: It seems Pinocchio is serious about becoming brave, truthful and unselfish. And he listened to his conscience. I bet you were thinking I dropped the ball. But old Jiminy picked up the fumble and it’s smooth sailing from here.

Headmaster: [as he throws Pinocchio out of school] School is for real children. Not ridiculous puppets. Puppets belong in the puppet show.
Jiminy Cricket: Well, I’ll be.

Pinocchio: I don’t think that teacher likes me.
Honest John: Oh, who cares what he thinks? His pedagogy is completely outdated. Is his curriculum child-led? Brain-based for a growth mindset? I think not. He makes no room for different learning styles.

Honest John: [to Pinocchio] Oh, you poor, poor misunderstood boy. Don’t you see? You don’t fit in a traditional educational environment. You are misunderstood, just like every great actor who ever walked the earth.

Honest John: It’s fame you want. Fame and fortune!
Pinocchio: But my father…
Honest John: Wanted you to go to school, and you did. You went to school. You gave it the old college try. And what did the wise and learned schoolmaster say?
Pinocchio: He said I belong in a puppet show.
Honest John: Alas, a puppet show. I rest my case.

Stromboli: I present to you something that you will absolutely refuse to believe. Introducing the eighth wonder of the world, the only marionette who can sing and dance without the aid of strings. The toy who thinks he’s a boy.

Pinocchio: I’m here to be famous so I can be a real boy and then make my father proud.
Fabiana: And I’m Fabiana, and I’m never going to be famous. Not unless I can figure some way out of this two-bit, small-time sad excuse for a puppet show.

Stromboli: To me you are belong.
Pinocchio: Let me go. Let me out of here. Help! Father!
Stromboli: Father? No parent wants a bizzaria like you.
Pinocchio: No. No!
Stromboli: Parents want a real kid.

Stromboli: Just to be sure there is no funny business. Except on stage. Then lots of funny business.

Jiminy Cricket: Well, I guess this is it. This is how it ends. Starving to death in a pickle jar. No, sirree. I thought I’d live to be a hundred and three. Of course, this never would’ve happened if I hadn’t gotten into the conscience business.

Jiminy Cricket: [referring to the cage Pinocchio’s locked in] Locked solid. Well, Pinoke, I guess this isn’t what you signed up for when you decided to be a famous actor, is it?
Pinocchio: It’s not my fault. I never wanted to be famous.
Jiminy Cricket: [as Pinocchio’s nose extends a little] Sorry, kiddo. That’s not the way I remember it.
Pinocchio: But I didn’t want to be famous. I wanted to go to school.
Jiminy Cricket: [Pinocchio’s nose extends again] Hey!
Pinocchio: It’s true. All of those people cheering and applauding. I hated it!

Pinocchio: [as his nose extends again] What’s happening, Jiminy?
Jiminy Cricket: Looks like some sort of fairy magic. Kind of on the nose, if you ask me. But the point is, a lie can really change a person, Pinokes.
Pinocchio: Which is why I’m telling you, the one hundred and ten percent, most honestly, honest, truthiest, truthiness ever. Believe me!
Pinocchio: [as his nose extends again] Oops. Okay. That last part wasn’t true. But, everything I said, up until then, was!
Pinocchio: [as his nose extends even further] Jiminy! You okay?
Jiminy Cricket: More or less. Now quit telling those whoppers.

Jiminy Cricket: Pinoke, remember what the Blue Fairy said? It’s not about what you’re made of on the outside. Being real is in your heart. That’s what being real is all about.

Jiminy Cricket: Hot dog! We did it.
Pinocchio: Yeah, hot dog. What’s that?
Jiminy Cricket: No time to explain charcuterie, pal.

Pinocchio: So peers are friends?
Jiminy Cricket: Well, not all the time, Pinokes. You’ve got to be careful, because sometimes when peers get in a group, they like to pressure.

The Coachman: Pleasure Island will be the most life-altering experience you will ever have. You won’t be a puppet anymore, that’s for sure.
Pinocchio: Really?
The Coachman: Aye. Cross my heart and hope to die.

Pinocchio: I don’t want to be a jerk. I want to be a real boy.
Lampwick: The way you’re going, you might make it to half a real boy. It looks to me like you still got a conscience inside of you.
Pinocchio: I wish I still did have a conscience.

Jiminy Cricket: What’s with all the donkeys? Oh, brother. It’s like I’ve dropped into H-E-double hockey sticks.

Lampwick: Everybody knows psyching out your opponent is a great strategy. You got to do what you got to do to win.

Lampwick: [as he’s transforming into a donkey] Who do I look like to you? A jacka**?
Pinocchio: You sure are!

Jiminy Cricket: Oh, no. We’re trapped.
Pinocchio: No, we’re not. Positive thinking, Jiminy.

Pinocchio: [referring to Geppetto] He sold his clocks to find me?
Sofia: That’s right, kiddo. You mean more to him than his beloved clocks.
Jiminy Cricket: More than anything.

Pinocchio: I have to stay and find my father.
Sabina: Pinocchio, something tells me the decision you made is the right one.
Jiminy Cricket: It sure is, Pinoke. I’m proud of you, kiddo. And look. Your donkey ears are gone!

Jiminy Cricket: Sofia said Geppetto left about two hours ago, headed south. She agreed to airlift us so we can search for…
Sofia: Hold on one gosh-darn minute. Let’s get something straight here, Mr. Cricket. I said I’d airlift you, not him. I can’t carry a heavy block of wood. No offense, kid.

Geppetto: Cleo, Figaro, look! He can run on water. Well, of course he can run on water. He’s made of wood.

Geppetto: [after Pinocchio tells him of his adventures] You did all that in one day?
Pinocchio: Yes.
Geppetto: My goodness. I haven’t done a fraction of that in my whole life!

Geppetto: Oh, I just hit my boy of wood with a piece of wood.

Geppetto: We’re all together again. Isn’t it wonderful? Although, yeah, it is a bit strange to be inside the belly of a whale. But we will make do. It is a bit humid, though, isn’t it?

Geppetto: [iniside the whale] I mean, look at all this junk. It looks to me like everything comes in, but nothing goes out. Except the other way, presumably, but that is not a good option.

Pinocchio: Father, what’s inside that lantern?
Geppetto: Ironically, whale oil.

Geppetto: Jiminy? Who’s Jiminy?
Pinocchio: My conscience.
Geppetto: That cricket is your conscience?
Jiminy Cricket: I sure am. And let me tell you, it’s no easy job.

Geppetto: Oh, Pinocchio, you honestly did try with all your heart, and that makes you a truthful boy. And you know what else it makes you? Unselfish and very, very brave.

Geppetto: Pinocchio, when you first came to me, I might have made you think I wanted somebody else. But it was you I was wishing for. You will always be my real boy. There isn’t a single thing I would change about you. I am so very proud of you. And I love you so very much.

Geppetto: Pinocchio, do you know the way?
Pinocchio: We’ll follow that light.

Jiminy Cricket: So in the end, Pinocchio did prove himself brave, honest, and unselfish. And since then many stories have been told about him. People say he was transformed into an honest-to-goodness real boy. Did that actually happen? Who knows? But I do know one thing for sure. In his heart, Pinocchio is as real as any real boy could ever be.

Blue Fairy: [singing] When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. Anything your heart desires will come to you. If your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme. When you wish upon a star, as dreamers do. Fate is kind, she brings to those who love, the sweet fulfillment of their secret longing. Like a bolt out of the blue. Fate steps in and sees you through. When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.

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