Starring: Billy Crystal, Tiffany Haddish, Penn Badgley, Laura Benanti, Louisa Krause, Alex Brightman, Anna Deavere Smith, Max Gordon Moore, Nyambi Nyambi, Brandon Uranowitz


Comedy directed and co-written by Billy Crystal. Here Today (2021) follows veteran comedy writer Charlie Berns (Billy Crystal), who forms an unlikely friendship with New York street singer Emma Payge (Tiffany Haddish), that kicks the generation gap aside and redefines the meaning of love and trust.


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We’ll add the best quotes once the movie is released and we’ve had a chance to watch it, but for now, here’s a small selection.




Charlie Berns: Thank you for bidding on me in the auction. I am so flattered that somebody your age would be a fan of my work.
Emma Payge: I don’t know who the hell you are. My ex really wanted to meet you, so he bid.
Charlie Berns: How much?
Emma Payge: Twenty-two.
Charlie Berns: Twenty-two hundred dollars! That’s fantastic!
Emma Payge: Twenty-two dollars. It started at twenty, and then it went up in fifty cent increments.


Emma Payge: [to Charlie] You’re funny, old man.


Charlie Berns: Why is your face suddenly bigger than it was before? Oh, my God! Are you allergic to sea food?!
[Emma mumbles a reply as her face puffs up]


Charlie Berns: Why did you tell the doctor that I was your daughter?
Emma Payge: I was a little loopy by then.


Charlie Berns: Are you doing anything right now?
Emma Payge: No.
Charlie Berns: Want to have some laughs?
Emma Payge: Hell, yeah.


Charlie Berns: [referring to the statue] Marilyn Monroe from The Seven Year Itch.
Emma Payge: Hm. I’d be itchy too if I had hot subway air blowing up my a**.


Charlie Berns: Come on. Sub-poena. What is that, a very small poena?


Dr. Vidor: Are you doing what we talked about?
Charlie Berns: I try not to vary my routine.
Dr. Vidor: You have medicines to help you.
Charlie Berns: I was backed up for like eight days.
Dr. Vidor: You can always give yourself an enema.
Charlie Berns: I’m saving that for my birthday.


Emma Payge: [referring to the photos] Who are they?
Charlie Berns: That’s my family.
Emma Payge: If they’re your family, why do you have their names written down?


Dr. Vidor: Charlie, you can’t be alone anymore.


Emma Payge: If you ever need my help, I’m here.


Charlie Berns: I’m writing something, and I have to finish before my words run out.


Emma Payge: I’ll take care of him.
Dr. Vidor: May I ask what your relationship is?
Emma Payge: I don’t know.
Charlie Berns: I don’t know.


Charlie Berns: I mean, this young woman is full of surprises.
Dr. Vidor: This is no time for jokes.
Charlie Berns: It’s the perfect time for jokes!


Rex: Do you live here?
Emma Payge: I’m his friend. But your dad needs you right now.


[wakes up to find Emma in bed next to him]
Charlie Berns: Woh! I didn’t want for this to happen.
Emma Payge: That this, it didn’t happen. Your little frail body, would not be able to handle all these groceries. I’ll break your back, then you die. Can’t have that.


Charlie Berns: I want to have fun. I want to laugh. I want to not be scared. And I want to write the book. And I want to do all of that with you.