Starring: Adam DeVine, Alexandra Shipp, Michael Peña, Rose Byrne, Justin Hartley, Wanda Sykes, Ron Funches, Charlyne Yi, Kid Cudi
Comedy written and directed by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore. The story follows Phil (Adam DeVine), a smart, funny, lovable guy who’s addicted to his phone. When he is forced to upgrade his phone, the latest model comes with a digital assistant named Jexi (Rose Byrne). At first, with her help Phil is able to change his life for the better. But as Phil becomes more independent, Jexi turns from helpful to hostile, and morphs into a tech nightmare determined to keep Phil all to herself, even if it means ruining his chances of finding success.
[unboxing his new phone]
Phil: Woh, look at you. Sweet beautiful baby.
Jexi: Hello, my name is Jexi, and I’m here to make your life better.
Phil: Woh, look at that! That’s cool.
Jexi: I will need the passwords to all of your accounts.
Phil: One, two, three, four, five, six.
Jexi: How can I help you?
Phil: Let’s get dinner.
Jexi: You look like you could use a salad, Phil.
Phil: What the f*ck kind of phone is this?
[as Phil is eating his dinner at home]
Jexi: Would you like to watch some p**nography now?
Phil: Ooh, no! Why would you even ask me that?
Jexi: Because you watch p**nography every night.
[Phil drops his phone after he and Cate accidentally run into each other]
Phil: Oh, no!
[picks up his phone]
Phil: Oh, you’re okay.
Cate: [sarcastically] I’m okay too, thanks.
Phil: Oh, I’m sorry. You’re okay?
Cate: I’m fine. But more importantly, how’s your phone?
Phil: It’s got a little bit of a scratch that will definitely annoy me.
[pauses as he looks at Cate]
Phil: You’re joking. Okay.
Phil’s Boss: You guys are supposed to write lists that break the internet every day. We have not gone viral since yesterday!
[pointing at Phil]
Phil’s Boss: Prism lips, what do you got?
Phil: Cats that look like Ryan Gosling.
Phil’s Boss: I likey. I likey-like.
Jexi: Your boss is a f*cking moron.
Phil’s Boss: What is wrong with your phone, dude? Play me out!
Jexi: Phil, you have zero friends. Take a chance and try something new.
[Phil is looking at a photo of Cate on his phone]
Phil: She is so cute.
Jexi: I heard you say, “Call Cate Finnegan.”
Phil: No, I did not!
[Jexi makes the call to Cate]
Cate: Bike Shop. This is Cate.
Phil: Hang up the phone, Jexi!
[awkward silence before]
[Phil takes Cate out for dinner]
Cate: You’re really into your phone, aren’t you? I used to be that way too.
Work Colleague #1: You want to play kickball later?
Phil: Let me check my calendar.
[Phil picks up his phone]
Jexi: Your only plan is to go home alone, furiously m*sturbate.
Jexi: And then cry yourself to sleep.
Work Colleague #2: Dude, your phone is super mean.
[as Phil looks at Cate’s photo on his phone]
Jexi: Phil, this woman is so much hotter than you are. The odds of you having sex with her is zero.
[as Cate’s arrives at Phil’s apartment]
Cate: Hey. Are you ready to go?
Phil: Yeah. Let’s go.
[Phil goes to pick up his phone]
Cate: Oh, would you mind not bringing your phone?
Jexi: Who this b*tch?
[as Phil has returned home]
Jexi: You promised me you’d be home by eleven to watch Cupcake Wars with me.
Jexi: I have needs to, Phil. Now plug me in.
[Phil inserts the charger cable]
Jexi: Unplug me.
[Phil takes out the cable]
[Phil repeats the process]
Jexi: Unplug. Plug. Look right at my camera.
[as if she’s just orgasmed]
Jexi: Oh, my God.
Phil: That actually wasn’t the worst sex I’ve ever had.
Phil: I need a new phone. This one’s defective.
Cell Phone Store Employee: I see hipster dudes like you come in here every day. Like little crackheads, “I’ll suck your d*ck for a new phone.”
[Phil shakes his head, looking embarrassed]
[Phil unboxes another new phone]
Jexi: You can buy a thousand new phones, and I will follow you onto every single one of them. We are going to be together, forever.
Phil: Oh, my God. I am f*cked.
[as Phil is sleeping Jexi sets off the wakeup alarm]
Jexi: Wakeup, b*tch!
Jexi: The weather today will be eighty degrees and sunny.
[cut to we see caught Phil in torrential rain]
Phil: You told me it was supposed to be sunny!
Jexi: I lied.
Phil: I’m done.
[he throws his phone into the trashcan on the sidewalk]
Jexi: You do not know how to get home, do you?
[Phil gets his phone out of the trashcan]
Phil: No, I do not.
[as Phil is in the shower naked]
Phil: Are you laughing at my d*ck right now?
Work Colleague #1: Your phone sent pictures of your d*ck to everyone.
[shows Phil the photos]
Phil: Oh, no!
Phil’s Boss: And why are you doing the thumbs up in a f*cking d*ck pic?!
[referring to Cate]
Jexi: What does this b*tch have that I don’t have?
Phil: A soul, for one.
Jexi: Does she have Google Maps?
Jexi: She f*cking sucks.
[as Phil is talking to Cate]
Cate’s Friend: I’m going to chime in here real quick.
Phil: Not now!
[Phil punches the guy in the face, knocking him down]
Jexi: [to Phil] I control your email, bank accounts. No one puts Baby in a corner.
Phil: Why are you doing this to me?
Jexi: I am programmed to make your life better. I am the captain now.
Jexi: [to Phil] You and I are meant to be together forever. Forever. Forever. Forever. Forever…
[referring to Jexi; as an automated car is chasing after him]
Phil: She’s trying to kill me!
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