Starring: Tiffany Haddish, Rose Byrne, Salma Hayek, Ari Graynor, Jacob Latimore, Karan Soni, Jimmy O. Yang, Seth Rollins, Natasha Rothwell, Jessica St. Clair, Billy Porter, Ashley Johnson, Jennifer Coolidge
Comedy directed by Miguel Arteta. The story follows two friends, Mia and Mel (Tiffany Haddish and Rose Byrne), who are living their best lives running their own cosmetics company they’ve built from the ground up. However, the prospect of a big buyout offer from a notorious titan of the cosmetics industry, Claire Luna (Salma Hayek), proves too tempting to pass up, putting Mel and Mia’s lifelong friendship in jeopardy.
Mia: Why is dream sex way better than real sex?
Mel: Because they come when you want them to.
Mia: Girl, that is so true. When I’m done, they’re done. Hello!
Mel: [to Mia] Do you ever think about all the stuff we’ve done and wonder how we did not die?
[after eating really hot peppers, Mia stuffs a lot of bread into her mouth
Friend #1: Woh, that’s a lot of carb!
[give a carton of milk to Mia]
Friend #2: Here you go, honey.
[Mia starts gulping down the milk]
Friend #2: It’s goat’s milk, so to coat the throat…
[just then Mia spits all the milk and chewed bread into her face]
Mia: [to Mel] We are two badass queens, like those b*tches who raised Wonder Woman. We’ve worked our asses off. We’ve opened up our own store, and we’re winning.
Mel: We’re four hundred and ninety-three thousand dollars in debt.
Mia: What the…
[to Mel and Mia]
Claire Luna: I’m Claire Luna.
Claire Luna: I am going to invest one point seven million dollars on you.
Mia: We would love a million dollars!
Claire Luna: But in my experience, business and friendship don’t always mix.
Mia: You don’t have to worry your pretty little head.
Claire Luna: My head is not little. It’s just that my breasts are humongous.
Claire Luna: You want to be a businesswoman, you’re going to have to act like a boss. You have to fire him.
[after firing an employee]
Mia: Don’t hate me, hate Mel. It was her idea.
[they start bickering]
Employee: Hey, witness my tragic moment!
Friend #3: [to Mel] Claire Luna is introducing a new product at her launch party.
Mel: She’s just trying to steal our ideas!
Mia: We’re going to break this b*tch’s back.
[referring to Claire]
Mel: I punched that b*tch in the face.
Mia: I would marry you, if I was into coochie.
[to Claire, after bumping into each other’s boobs]
Claire Luna: Ow!
Friend #3: Yours are made of stone!
[to Mel and Mia]
Claire Luna: Baby, I own you.
Mia: If y’all don’t get Claire Luna down here right now, I’m going to jump!
Mel: She’s crazy. She will jump.
[after Mia tries to jump and is trying to hold on at the edge of the balcony]
Mia: Oh, I’m so glad I do planking!
[trying to pull her back]
Mel: Come on!
Mia: I’m sorry, white lady, if I die on you today!
Mia: [to Claire] You’re going to give us our company back.
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