Starring: Dave Bautista, Ken Jeong, Parisa Fitz-Henley, Chloe Coleman, Kristen Schaal, Nikki Hahn, Devere Rogers
Action comedy directed by Peter Segal in which the story follows a hardened CIA operative (Dave Bautista) who finds himself at the mercy of a precocious nine year-old girl Sophie (Chloe Coleman), having been sent undercover to surveil her family.
JJ: You know, I’m just not that good with people. But there is one thing I’m good at.
Kim: [to JJ] The mission was to find out what they knew, but that’s kind of difficult now that you killed everyone.
Kim: [to JJ] I just don’t think you’re cut out for intelligence. This is your last shot.
[on the school bus]
Girl: Oh, my God. You have jelly all over your face.
[takes a photo of Sophie]
Girl: I’m definitely posting that on Insta.
Kate: How’s school going?
Sophie: Is it too late to homeschool me?
Sophie: Are you CIA?
JJ: How did you get in here?
Bobbi: No. Okay, she has a camera. She might be streaming.
JJ: If Kim finds out we got made by a nine year-old, my career is over.
Bobbi: What’s the option?
JJ: Kill her. Make it look like an accident. Yeah, maybe the stairs.
Sophie: Wow. Still recording.
Sophie: We can cut a deal. I want you to teach me how to be a spy.
JJ: Just to be clear, this is a one-time arrangement. Never again.
Sophie: Okay. Promise.
Sophie: [to JJ] So what’s first? Shooting range, obstacle course, or how to walk away from an explosion?
JJ: A like detector test. I can smell a lie. Endorphins release an odor, and the ultimate tell, the slightest blink of an eye.
Sophie: You mean like this? JJ, I admire all of your tattoos.
[she blinks twice]
Sophie: JJ, I believe you that you’ve never taken steroids.
[she blinks again]
[referring to Sophie]
Bobbi: Damn, she’s good.
Sophie: When you look out there, what do you see?
JJ: Ninety civilians, minimal security, soft parameter.
Sophie: Smiling people having fun. You should try it sometime.
Sophie: [to JJ] Under the rough exterior, you’re a nice guy.
JJ: The objective of this exercise is to get past me. A good idea might be to cause a distraction, because otherwise there’d be zero chance of you…
[Sophie suddenly overturns the little fish tank over the table, causing the fish to fall out]
JJ: [horrified] Blueberry!
[he tries to catch the little fish]
[watching JJ on the surveillance camera trying to dance in a club]
Sophie: What is he doing?
Bobbi: This looks like the wedding at the end of Shrek.
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