Starring: Kevin Hart, Tiffany Haddish, Taran Killam, Rob Riggle, Ben Schwartz, Yvonne Orji


Comedy directed by Malcolm D. Lee in which the story follows Teddy Walker (Kevin Hart), who after he causes an explosion at his business, is forced to enroll to attend adult classes in the longshot chance he’ll pass the GED exam to finish high school..


Best Quotes:

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[to his customers]
Teddy Walker: This is the grill for you. I call it the Obama.


[referring to the grill]
Teddy Walker: I call this the big black machine.
Customer: Ooh.


Teddy Walker: Lisa, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.
[he kneels to propose]
Lisa: Oh, my God. Do you smell gas?
Teddy Walker: A little bit. It came out, I was nervous.
Lisa: Oh, no, that’s, um…


[after being blasted onto the car from the gas explosion]
Teddy Walker: Ah, I got three degree burns on my ass!


Teddy’s Friend: You’re the best salesman I’ve ever seen. I can see you being a stockbroker like me.
Teddy Walker: Could you give me a job?
Teddy’s Friend: I wish I could, but my boss won’t let me hire a dropout.


Teddy Walker: Look at Mark Zuckerberg.
Teddy’s Friend: He dropped out Harvard. You dropped out of Piedmont High.


Stewart: Teddy Walker, what brings you back to Piedmont?
Teddy Walker: I’m glad you asked. Right now I have an amazing job in sales, but I’m here now taking my GED.
Stewart: You would have to go to night school. You’re in my house.
Teddy Walker: Are you doing a black voice?
Stewart: No. I don’t hear color.


Teddy Walker: I was a couple of credits shy of graduating. I got to get my GED.
Stewart: I’m the principal of this school, I can do whatever I want. You’re in my house.
Teddy Walker: Are you using a black voice?
Stewart: No, I don’t hear color.


Teddy Walker: You’re the night school teacher?
Carrie: [sarcastically] No, I’m just the bitch that likes to wear blouses. Yes, I’m the night school teacher.


[to the night school students]
Carrie: Alright, let’s do some introductions. My name is Carrie, I’m here to make a little extra cash so that I can afford this warrant that I got, but that’s none of your business. Welcome to night school.


Carrie: Let’s do some introductions.
[via the computer screen]
Bobby: Hey, yo, what up? I’m Bobby.
Teddy Walker: You can Skype into the class?
Carrie: Yeah, if you’re doing time at the Georgia Correctional Facility.


Carrie: You’re next.
Jalen: My name’s Jalen.
Carrie: How about you, ma’am?
Theresa: I dropped out of high school, so I wanted to get my GED before I have to live in Randy’s parents laundry room.
Luis: My name is Luis. I’m going to become a singer-songwriter.
Theresa: Ooh. Like Julio Iglesias?
Luis: No, not like Julio Iglesias.
Carrie: Ooh, it’s going to be a long semester.
Jalen: That’s what’s up.


Carrie: We need to cram four years of high school into a semester.


Classmate: Study group! Study group! Study group!
Teddy Walker: Yes!
Classmate: Aaahhh!
[he throws his desk and chair over and runs out of the class]
Carrie: I think his mamma breastfed him beer.


Teddy Walker: [to Carrie] This book is kind of big. I thought it’d be more like a leaflet.


Carrie: If you’re not going to do the work, drop the class.
Teddy Walker: No, I’m going to do the work, you’ll see.
Carrie: We’ll see.
Teddy Walker: Yes, we will.
Carrie: Great.
Teddy Walker: Superb.
Carrie: Excellent.
Teddy Walker: Good.
Carrie: Mm-hmm.
Teddy Walker: Mm-hmm.


Lisa: You’re going to be a financial analyst?
Teddy Walker: I am, and it starts immediately.


[to Teddy, as he turns up for work at a fast food restaurant called Christian Chicken]
Isaac: I have been waiting on the Lord to bring me a pint-sized little man who can fill this out.
[points to the chicken costume]


[referring to Carrie]
Teddy Walker: She’s not like the teachers we had back in the day. This woman is a brick wall.


Carrie: School policy, if you don’t pass that test, you’re out.


Carrie: You either pass the midterm, or you’re out of my class.


Teddy Walker: We’re going to have to steal those tests.


[as they are getting ready to break into the school to steal the tests]
Teddy Walker: Really?
Classmate: What?
Teddy Walker: Why didn’t you wear black?
Classmate: Laundry day.
Teddy Walker: So you wore yellow?
Classmate: It’s fresh. It’s clean.
[he sticks his arm out]
Teddy Walker: Get your arm out of my face.


Teddy Walker: I need you to go out there and I need you to stall.
Theresa: No, no, no. I can’t flirt. In my day it was innocent. Now it’s all about the butt. I heard a guy say, “I’m going to crack that butt like a walnut.” Why would you start there? Wouldn’t you want to start in the front?
Teddy Walker: Stop it.


Carrie: You want to explain to me how you got a perfect score?
Classmate: I know I didn’t get a perfect score because I missed a few on purpose.
[Teddy throws his books at him to stop him talking]
Classmate: Aaah!
Theresa: Snitches are bitches.


Teddy Walker: Yo, what you doing?
Tow Truck Driver: What’s it look like I’m doing?
Teddy Walker: You’re going to take my car with my baby in the back?
Tow Truck Driver: I didn’t see no baby in there.
Teddy Walker: Right there!
[he starts making wailing noises]


[referring to the chicken suit Teddy is wearing]
Carrie: Teddy, this suit you got on is dumb as hell.
Teddy Walker: I’m where I’m supposed to be.
Carrie: At a fast food joint next to a strip club?
Teddy Walker: If I stay in the right spot I can smell cocoa butter and fried chicken at the same time.
Carrie: Take this suit off! You’re going to take this test!
[Carrie starts hitting him]


[wearing the chicken outfit]
Teddy Walker: Come and get your chicken from the Lord.


Carrie: You take that test, or I’ll tenderize your ass!
Teddy Walker: I will beat you!
[Carrie starts hitting him]


[to the student]
Carrie: Are you trying to get your GED? Are you trying to get your GED?
Teddy Walker: Yes!


[as he sees one of Bobby’s prison inmates coming up from behind to hit him]
Jalen: Hey, Bobby, watch out!
[Bobby turns and starts beating the inmate, then calmly sits down]
Classmate: Oh!
Teddy Walker: Oh!
Carrie: Ooh!
Bobby: Please continue with the Pythagorean theorem.


Stewart: This dance is for students only.
Carrie: Get out of my way, bitch.


Teddy Walker: So, teach, what are the test results?
Carrie: Teddy, you my friend, are dyslexic. You also have dyscalculia.
Teddy Walker: That’s what I got?
Carrie: We’re not done. You also have a processing disorder.
Teddy Walker: I got a touch of prostate cancer. She didn’t touch my ass one time.
Carrie: Boy.


Carrie: The issue is you’re clinically dumb.
Teddy Walker: I knew it.
Carrie: There’s no cure for what you have.
Teddy Walker: Oh, my God! I got learning herpes!
Carrie: There are no such things as learning herpes.
Teddy Walker: I’m blistering up!
Carrie: Teddy. You want to smoke some weed?
Teddy Walker: I’m sorry, what?


Carrie: My suspicions were correct. You’re clinically dumb. There is no cure for what you have.
Teddy Walker: Oh, my God! I got learning herpes! I got the gift that people giveth.
Carrie: Boy.


[referring to Teddy]
Carrie: You did the black voice with him?
Stewart: It’s not a black voice. It’s not a black voice.
Carrie: You don’t remember when you was in that meeting you was like, “We’re going to get it lit in here. This meeting lit?”
Stewart: It was very lit.
Carrie: “I keep it one hundred.”
Stewart: When have I ever not kept it one hundred?
Carrie: Hm.


Carrie: Teaching in a conventional way just isn’t going to get it done.


Teddy Walker: What’s going on, Carrie? Why are we in the ring?
Carrie: What’s the square root of eighty-one?
Teddy Walker: What?
[she punches Teddy in the faces]
Carrie: What’s the square root of eighty-one?
Teddy Walker: I don’t know! What you talking…
[she start to throw Teddy to the ground]
Teddy Walker: What are you doing?
[as she’s wrestling Teddy on the ground]
Carrie: Square root, what is it?
Teddy Walker: Oh, God! Help!


[in an MMA ring]
Carrie: You ready to get started?
Teddy Walker: I’m not playing with you.
Carrie: What’s the capital of Belgium?
Teddy Walker: Waffles?
Carrie: What? That is not the answer!
[she throws Teddy down and Teddy tries to crawl away]
Carrie: Get back here!


[in the MMA ring again]
Teddy Walker: You’re starting to force my hand.
Carrie: Water is comprised of?
Teddy Walker: Rain.
[Carrie gets ready to throw herself onto Teddy]
Teddy Walker: It’s a gas! Oh, God!
[Carries throws herself onto Teddy knocking him down]
Teddy Walker: Two part hydrogen, one part oxygen!
Carrie: You got it right, Teddy.
Teddy Walker: What is that smell?
Carrie: Now that’s a gas.
Teddy Walker: Did you bust ass in my face? It’s in my mouth. You got my lips all chappy!


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