Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Kate McKinnon, Zoë Kravitz, Jillian Bell, Ilana Glazer, Paul W. Downs, Demi Moore, Colton Haynes, Ty Burrell, Dean Winters

OUR RATING: ★★☆☆☆

Story: Black comedy directed and co-written by Lucia Aniello in her directorial debut. The story follows five old college girlfriends, Jess, Blair, Pippa, Alice and Frankie (Scarlett Johansson, Zoë Kravitz, Kate McKinnon, Jillian Bell and Ilana Glazer). They reunite years later for a wild bachelorette weekend in Miami as Jess is getting married. Their hard partying takes a dark turn when they accidentally kill a male stripper. Amidst the craziness of trying to cover it up, they’re ultimately brought closer together when it matters most.

Verdict: The premise is simple enough and in theory should work and there are definitely some funny moments, but the one-dimensional characters and the predictability of the plot does no favors for this movie. What could have been a really funny movie was pretty much a misfire.

REVIEWS

 

Best Quotes    (Total Quotes: 35)


 

[to Blair, Alice and Frankie]
Jess: I don’t even know why we go to these stupid parties. I just want to hang out with you guys.


 

[to Blair,  Alice and Frankie]
Jess: Someday our kids are going to play together.


 

[Alice calling Jess whilst she’s shouting at her kids]
Jess: Hello?
Alice: Hey, I am so psyched for the bachelorette weekend.


 

[as she’s organizing a protest march]
Frankie: We are people protestors! Okay, I got to head to a bachelorette!


 

Blair’s Son: Mommy, do you have to go to Miami?
Blair: I really do.


 

Alice: This is it, your bachelorette weekend. We have been dreaming about this moment since the first day of freshman year.
[she puts a headband with two dicks on Jess’s head]
Jess: What’s on my head?
Alice: There’s going to be so many hot Miami babes, we are going to be swimming in dick, girl!
Peter: Hi, Alice.
Alice: Peter. Hi.
Peter: Hi.
Alice: Get out of here, she’s mine now.
[Jess goes over to kiss Peter goodbye]
Peter: Don’t get into too much trouble, okay?
Jess: Yeah, I won’t.


 

Alice: I called the room next to Jess.
Jess: You’re going to have to share with Pippa.
Alice: Uh, who that?
Jess: Pippa, my Australian friend from semester abroad.


 

Jess: We don’t get to see each other a lot because we’re all so busy with our lives. But this weekend is all about us, just like old times. We have to make it great.


 

Blair: Pippa, what are you doing for work these days?
Pippa: Well, singer-songwriter is the dream. Uh, party clown is the reality.


 

Alice: This is going to be the biggest weekend of our lives.


 

Frankie: Girls, I just got coke from the busboy.
Jess and Alice: What?!
Blair: So everyone’s in.
Frankie: Go, go, go, go.
Jess: I don’t know.
Frankie: Stop being a stupid fucking cunt and do a little fucking cocaine!
[the others look at her in shock]
Frankie: Sorry. I did a little a bit.


 

Jess: So I was kind of hoping that we could make it an early night.
Blair: That doesn’t feel right.
Alice: Yeah, I don’t think so, baby girl.


 

Jess: This is so much fun! We should do this more often!


 

Blair: Let’s get Jess a stripper.
Alice: Yes!
Blair: Right?
Alice: Yes!
Frankie: You guys, male or female though?
Alice: Male.
Blaire: Male. I think a male for her.
Frankie: Fine.


 

[after Alice does a trust fall in the club and nobody catches her]
Alice: Didn’t anybody see me fall?
Blair: Everybody saw.
Frankie: No.
Jess: No.
Pippa: Alice, you fell.


 

Alice: Okay, before we go we got to do the human friendipede, yeah?
Pippa: What is a human friendipede?
Alice: It’s a photo we always take that’s like the movie Human Centipede, where they’re sewn together mouth to anus, but it’s with friends so it’s special. I get the  middle!
Frankie: Why do you want the middle?


 

Blair: Stripper is here!
Jess: Guys, I don’t want a stripper. They’re so tacky. Who wants that?


 

[to the male stripper who’s dancing for Jess]
Alice: Let’s get to the beans. Let’s get to the beans.
Pippa: Make her feel special.
Alice: My turn!
[Alice suddenly jumps on top of the stripper]


 

[after the Stripper collapses]
Pippa: Sir?
Jess: Are you okay?
Pippa: Mister?
Jess: I don’t know what do to!
Frankie: Does anyone know CPR?
Pippa: I’ll look it up on YouTube! It has everything.
Jess: He’s dead.


 

Alice: Oh, shit!
Frankie: Does anyone know CPR?
Pippa: I’ll look it up on YouTube!
Alice: Somebody call an ambulance!
Jess: He’s dead.


 

Alice: We are totally fucked!


 

Pippa: There was this guy in Australia who cooked his girlfriend and ate her.
Frankie: Eww!
Pippa: I can’t because I am vegan, but…


 

Alice: Oh, God! I killed a guy!
Pippa: Time to call the police.
Jess: No, no, no, no! Let’s sober up and then we’ll call the police.
Blair: Let’s get rid of all the drugs.
[Alice starts to snort all the cocaine lines on the table]
Jess: Not by doing them!
Alice: Okay, someone tell me what to do and I will do it, huh!
Blair: I think we should call a lawyer first, my uncle Jack.


 

Jack: Sounds like this was an accident.
Blair: Thank God.
Jack: Just don’t touch the body.
Jess: What?
Pippa: Okay, sir, actually we have already moved him.
Jack: That could be up to fifteen years in prison.
Frankie: Oh, my God!
Blair: What!


 

Peter: Jess, is everything alright?
Jess: Yeah, everything is great.


 

Alice: This could still be the best weekend of our fucking lives! Let’s just smile a little bit! Right, smile more.


 

[trying to close the eyes of the dead stripper]
Pippa: Bye, baby boy. Sleep now.
[as she tries to close his eyes, the dead stripper’s eyes pop back open, looking creepy]
Alice: Oh, my God. No. Jesus. No. No, no, no.


 

Jess: We got to get rid of him. We don’t want to.
Blair: No, of course not.
Jess: But we have to.


 

[as Alice and Pippa are eating pizza]
Blair: How can you eat right now?
Alice: Eating’s the number one way people deal with stress. Do you guys want some?
Jess: Uh, yeah, I’ll have a slice.
Blair: I’ll have a slice.
Frankei: Yeah.


 

Jess: What if somebody sees us?
Alice: Oh, it’s so late, no one’s going to be out.


 

[as they are driving the dead stripper’s body through the busy streets of Miami]
Street Partier: I like your banana.
Blair: What?
Street Partier: I like the hard dick behind your head.
[they look back to see the dead stripper’s penis is sticking out as behind Blair’s head]
Blair: Oh, my God!


 

[as they are being held at gunpoint]
Pippa: Everyone in America really does have a gun!


 

Blaire: I probably have HPV now.
Jess: Whatever, we all have HPV.
Alice: I don’t have HPV.
Pippa: If you’ve had sex after the year 1981, then you do have HPV.
Alice: Oh, then I have like a shit ton of HPV. Clumps and clumps of it.
Jess: Okay.


 

Jess: I know that things are crazy right now, but you’re going to have a lot of material for my wedding speeches.


 

Pippa: I had this nightmare where we had all killed a guy!
Blair: That is real.
Pippa: What?! No! Oh, my God! Jet lag is insane, you guys! It’s no joke. No joke!


Total Quotes: 35

 

Trailers:

 

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