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Starring: Jim Parsons, Ben Aldridge, Sally Field, Bill Irwin
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Story:
Bio-comedy drama directed by Michael Showalter. Spoiler Alert (2022) centers on writer Michael Ausiello (Jim Parsons), who embarks on a roller-coaster ride of emotions when he enters into a relationship with photographer Kit Cowan, that then takes a tragic turn when Cowan is diagnosed with terminal cancer.
Our Favorite Quotes:
'You have to run the race in front of you, because that's all there is.' - Marilyn (Spoiler Alert) Click To Tweet
Best Quotes
Michael Ausiello: This isn’t how our story was supposed to end. But meeting you in the first place was the plot twist I never expected.
Michael Ausiello: I remember watching daytime soap operas with my mom. All those sad people in hospitals. I was determined that my story was going to be a happy one. And for a while, it was. I fancied myself as the star of my very own workplace comedy. A little Liz Lemon, and a lot of Will Truman.
Michael Ausiello: [referring to the club] I don’t belong here.
Nick: Sure, you do. It’s Jock Night, and you’re a runner.
Michael Ausiello: I’m a jogger. I’m not a runner. Jogging’s not a sport.
Michael Ausiello: [referring to Kit] And there you were, like some sweatband-wearing matinee idol.
Nick: [referring to Kit] Oh. That guy is definitely into you.
Michael Ausiello: He was with a woman.
Nick: No man in this club has been with a woman in years, if ever.
Nina: You are so his type.
Kit Cowan: Okay, she’s had a few too many.
Nina: No, I haven’t. Yes, I have. Yes, I have. But you are still his type. Well, because you’re like a dweeb.
Michael Ausiello: I’m what?
Kit Cowan: Tall. She means tall. You mean tall.
Nina: Yes. A tall dweeb. That is what I meant.
Nina: Everybody has a type. My type is very handsome gay men. Which is why I am hopelessly single.
Kit Cowan: It’s truly a tragedy.
Michael Ausiello: Well, for me.
Kit Cowan: I think for maybe both of us.
Kit Cowan: You’re a great dancer.
Michael Ausiello: You’re a terrible liar.
'You always felt like premium cable to my network sitcom.' - Michael Ausiello (Spoiler Alert) Click To Tweet
Kit Cowan: What’s your scene?
Michael Ausiello: I’m more of a “work late, go to bed early” kind of guy.
Michael Ausiello: [as they’re kissing] I don’t even know your name.
Kit Cowan: It’s Kit.
Michael Ausiello: Wait. Really? You’re Kit? Oh, God. I’m Michael. It’s like Michael and KITT from Knight Rider. It’s that David Hasselhoff show from the ’80s. Ran ninety episodes.
Kit Cowan: So this is kismet, then?
Michael Ausiello: Sure. Except that KITT was a talking car, and the show wasn’t very good.
Michael Ausiello: You do own a TV set, right?
Kit Cowan: I think my roommate Kirby does. Is that shocking to you?
Michael Ausiello: Shocking? No, it’s not shocking. I’ve heard of people who don’t have TVs, but I’ve never met one.
Michael Ausiello: I’m not really much of a drinker. I don’t really like the taste, or the empty calories. What about you? Drunkard or junkie?
Kit Cowan: I’m a photographer.
Michael Ausiello: Both then.
Kit Cowan: [referring to marriage] I mean, it started as the literal selling of chattel. I don’t know if I want to be a part of that ritual.
Michael Ausiello: I think some rituals are kind of sweet. And some rituals are actually very important. What’s chattel?
Kit Cowan: I don’t know. I think it’s like cattle that chats.
Michael Ausiello: Talking cows?
'I think you may need to spend time apart if you really want to come back together.' - Tony (Spoiler Alert) Click To Tweet
Michael Ausiello: Can I just say that this Diet Coke is the perfect syrup-to-carbonation ratio? This is like Chipotle-level perfect. No one does Diet Coke like Chipotle.
Mrs. Ausiello: [to young Michael] What have I always told you? It’s what’s on the inside that counts.
Michael Ausiello: You are so confident. I mean, you just ripped off your clothes like you’re a stripper at a bachelorette party, and you look incredible. And I’m an FFK. You don’t know what that is, do you?
Kit Cowan: No. No.
Michael Ausiello: I’m a former fat kid. So I have some body issues. Like I basically shower with clothes on.
Michael Ausiello: It is awkward to realize you’re gay at the same moment your mother is realizing that you’re realizing you’re gay.
'I'm afraid of what the end looks like.' - Kit Cowan (Spoiler Alert) Click To Tweet
Nina: So you must be Michael.
Michael Ausiello: I didn’t realize I was in “must be” territory.
Nina: What is your whole life story? One sentence. Tell me everything. Actually, you know what? Let’s make it fun. Life story. One word. Go.
Michael Ausiello: Basically.
Nina: “Basically.” Oh, I like that. That is fascinating.
Kit Cowan: [referring to the photograph] At best, it belongs in a high-end doctor’s office.
Nina: Stop. You’re being generous. I could see this in a low-end dentist’s office.
Michael Ausiello: [referring to entering his apartment] Before we go in. I want to remind you that your friends said that they really like me.
Kit Cowan: Oh, Jesus. Just open the door.
Michael Ausiello: Okay. I mean, I’m just a person like everyone.
Kit Cowan: Come on. Let me see your apartment. Come on.
Kit Cowan: [referring to the Smurfs collection in Michael’s bedroom] Oh, my God. They’re in here too.
Michael Ausiello: [to his Papa Smurf statue] Oh, Papa.
'I don't know what's next for me, honestly. You know, it's strange. Everyone will still be here, and I'll be gone.' - Kit Cowan (Spoiler Alert) Click To Tweet
Michael Ausiello: [referring to the Smurfs collection] My favorite was Vanity Smurf, who I now realize was a total closet case, like I was.
Michael Ausiello: I’m worried that I’m going to fall in love with you, and you’re going to break my heart. That scares me.
Kit Cowan: I guess we scare each other.
Michael Ausiello: I guess we do.
Michael Ausiello: Smurfgate almost derailed us. But by Christmas, we were back on track.
Michael Ausiello: Oh, God. Am I going back in the closet?
Kit Cowan: Oh, they wouldn’t accept you.
'Thank you for giving me a family. Thank you for loving me. You can go now.' - Michael Ausiello (Spoiler Alert) Click To Tweet
Michael Ausiello: I love…
Kit Cowan: Love you.
Michael Ausiello: What the hell? That was my line.
Kit Cowan: Well, you hesitated. You snooze, you lose.
Michael Ausiello: No. I did not hesitate.
Kit Cowan: You did.
Michael Ausiello: I was getting the words room to breathe.
Kit Cowan: Well, let the record show I said it first.
Michael Ausiello: No. Kit, at the very least, we’ve said it at the same time.
Kit Cowan: That’s not what the record shows.
Kit Cowan: I need you to go to my apartment and clean up.
Michael Ausiello: What do you want? You mean like make the bed?
Kit Cowan: No, I need you to hide anything that looks gay.
Michael Ausiello: You want me to de-gay your apartment?
Kit Cowan: Yes, de-gay my apartment.
'I wanted our story to be a picture-perfect, happy-ending love story. But what we got was a real love story.' - Michael Ausiello (Spoiler Alert) Click To Tweet
Marilyn: [referring to Michael] You met at a bar?
Kit Cowan: Yeah.
Bob: I get that. It’s two guys out, catting around. Meeting chicks. You know, a wingman needs a wingman.
Marilyn: [referring to Michael] What is going on here? Who is this guy? What’s happening? Why is he still here? I don’t understand. You’re acting so weird. And you don’t even look us in the face. You’re acting so weird!
Kit Cowan: He’s my boyfriend, Mom!
Marilyn: Your boyfriend?
Kit Cowan: Yes. I’m gay.
Michael Ausiello: I’m gay too.
Kirby: I am also gay. I am.
Trailer: