Starring: Steve Coogan, John C. Reilly, Shirley Henderson, Danny Huston, Nina Arianda, Rufus Jones, Susy Kane, Joseph Balderrama
Bio-drama directed by Jon S. Baird which centers on Laurel and Hardy (Steve Coogan and John C. Reilly), the world’s favorite comedy double act. The story follows what would become the pair’s triumphant farewell tour. With their golden era long behind them, the pair embark on a variety hall tour of Britain and Ireland.
Despite the pressures of a hectic schedule, and with the support of their wives Lucille (Shirley Henderson) and Ida (Nina Arianda), a formidable double act in their own right, the pair’s love of performing, as well as for each other, endures as they secure their place in the hearts of their adoring public.
Hal Roach: What are you looking for, Stan?
Stan Laurel: I’m looking for a fair price for a Laurel and Hardy picture, and you know it. Our pictures sell all around the world and we haven’t got a dime.
Hal Roach: That’s because you keep getting divorced!
Stan Laurel: No, it’s because you’re a cheapskate who got rich off our backs.
Oliver Hardy: Come on now, Stan.
Stan Laurel: He is, he’s a cheapskate, a skinflint, and a parvenu.
Oliver Hardy: A parvenu?
Stan Laurel: He thinks because my contract is up and yours isn’t, that I won’t be able to go anyplace else and I have to take what he’s offering.
Hal Roach: Wait, wait, wait, wait. What’s a parvenu?
Stan Laurel: Well, it’s someone who started with nothing, got rich, but has no class. Look it up in the dictionary, Hal, there’s a picture of you.
Hal Roach: Oh, you think you’re some sort of smartass, huh? Well, guess what? I’m smarter.
[referring to Stan]
Stan Laurel: Has he told you yet, we’re setting up on our own.
Oliver Hardy: Hal, it might be best if you could see your way to a small raise.
Hal Roach: You’re setting up on your own, huh? Well, how about this. So he’s still under contract with me, and I ain’t releasing him.
Stan Laurel: You can’t have Hardy without Laurel.
Hal Roach: Well, that’s what you think.
[referring to the audience]
Stan Laurel: Pretty empty last night. I guess people just don’t want to see Laurel and Hardy anymore.
Bernard Delfont: How do you feel about the size of the audiences?
Oliver Hardy: I’ve been a little disappointed.
Bernard Delfont: I mean they said, “Could you persuade Stan and Ollie to do some publicity in order to turn the tour around?”
Stan Laurel: Will there be any money?
Bernard Delfont: They said no.
Oliver Hardy: Who is “they”?
Bernard Delfont: People, the worst kind.
News Reel Reporter: Hollywood legends, Mr. Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy, arrived in Britain today as they embarked on a national tour.
Oliver Hardy: We’re doing this while we’re waiting for this new picture to come together.
Stan Laurel: I’m going to make sure that this tour gets off on the right foot.
Oliver Hardy: What time is it now?
[referring to the suitcase in his hand
Stan Laurel: Hold this.
[Oliver takes the suitcase, as Stan goes to look at his watch, he lets go of the heavy trunk he was holding and it slides down the stairs]
Oliver Hardy: Do we really need that trunk?
[as they pass the London Bridge]
Oliver Hardy: Here we are.
Stan Laurel: Here it is, the Eiffel Tower.
Café Waitress: It’s amazing that you two are still going strong, still using the same old material.
[to Stan; on the phone]
Ida Kitaeva Laurel: How is Oliver, is he pulling weight?
Lucille Hardy: Such a wonderful reception, isn’t it, Ida?
Ida Kitaeva Laurel: It’s okay.
[referring to Lucille and Ida]
Bernard Delfont: Two double acts for the price of one.
Ida Kitaeva Laurel: You could have long time ago said, “Goodbye, Oliver.”
Stan Laurel: That’s all in the past.
Lucille Hardy: Has he been pushing you a little too hard, babe?
Oliver Hardy: You know Stan.
Stan Laurel: How’s your knee?
Oliver Hardy: It hurts.
Oliver Hardy: [to Stan] You’re not still carrying that around, are you, because I went ahead and did a picture with someone else sixteen years ago?
Stan Laurel: I couldn’t sleep for days when they told me what you did.
Oliver Hardy: And I couldn’t sleep when I did it.
Stan Laurel: You betrayed me. Betrayed our friendship. I loved us.
Oliver Hardy: You loved Laurel and Hardy, but you never loved me.
Oliver Hardy: We had a good thing going, but you had this big chip on your shoulder because I did a picture with someone else.
Stan Laurel: I couldn’t sleep for days when they told me what you did. You’re just a lazy ass who got lucky because you met me.
Oliver Hardy: Lucky? I spend my life with a man who hides behind his typewriter.
Stan Laurel: You betrayed me. Betrayed our friendship.
Oliver Hardy: You’re hollow.
Doctor: [to Oliver] You cannot go on stage again in your condition.
Lucille Hardy: [to Oliver] I love you, but I won’t stand by and watch this nutty tour put you in a wooden box.
Stan Laurel: I should never have had us take this tour. I love him, Ida.
Stan Laurel: When you watch our movies, it was just the two of us. All we had was each other.
Oliver Hardy: The doctors told me I can’t continue with the tour, my heart won’t take it.
Stan Laurel: [to Oliver] He asked me since you were sick, if I wouldn’t mind carrying on the show with somebody else.
[Hardy shows up at Laurel’s hotel room]
Oliver Hardy: You’re not leaving, are you, Stan? The show must go on.
Oliver Hardy: [to Laurel] Je ne regrette rien. And you shouldn’t regret rien either.
Theater Manager: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Stan Laurel and Mr. Oliver Hardy.
[to Stan and Oliver]
Bernard Delfont: That was pure magic. It was brilliant.
Oliver Hardy: [to the audience] We’d like to finish now with a little dance.
Stan Laurel: Are you sure?
Oliver Hardy: I can do it.
Oliver Hardy: I’ll miss this when we’re gone.
Stan Laurel: So will you.
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