By Jack (California)


This is the first part of my Star Wars movie reviews. I’m going to review all of the theatrical releases (including the Clone Wars).

Now let’s begin with the best Star Wars film yet: The Phantom Menace. Don’t worry, I was kidding. I really don’t like this movie. Although I don’t hate as much as a lot of people do, but good god, it can be very difficult to watch at times.

The worst part about this film is the characters. You could replace all the characters with wood and it would probably leave a better impression on me. Now you might be expecting me to go on a rant about Jar Jar Binks and how ruined this movie. But to be honest, he doesn’t annoy me (although the poop jokes are just terrible). The thing that does bother me about him is he’s the only, so called “comic relief.” The other characters just aren’t fun to watch like in the originals. There are two characters that are more interesting than the others. The first is Palpatine/Emperor. While he doesn’t do very much in this movie and if this was the first Star Wars movie I watched then I’d probably forget about him completely. But, since I watched Return of the Jedi before watching this, I know that he’s manipulating the republic and planning to rule the galaxy. BTW The Emperor is one of my favorite characters in Star Wars. Anyway, I love it how you can tell that he’s manipulating everyone and he’s cooking up something evil. I just love that scene when he tells Anakin that he has great interest in him.

The second character I liked was Darth Maul. I know he is just there to fight the Jedi, but still, he’s f****** awesome. I also have to say, that this film has some of the best action in the prequel trilogy. The Pod Race is kind of fun and the sword fight at the end is amazing.

Alas, there is still a ton of problems with this movie. The second biggest problem with this movie is the plot. Now, think to yourself, what was the plot of A New Hope. Now, think to yourself, what was the plot of The Phantom Menace. You didn’t remember, did you. Mostly because it’s so complicated and boring. This is Star Wars! We want to see simple easy to follow stories! Not a bunch of space politics that don’t make any sense!!! And good god, the sequence in the film when they go to Courascant is so boring! I almost fell asleep! And after that scene, I still don’t know what they’re fight for and I don’t care!

So, that’s The Phantom Menace. The second worst Star Wars movie (we’ll get to the worst soon). While there are defiantly some good moments it’s still boring and really hard to watch.

I give this movie, a 2.5/10

Thanks for reading. Next time I’ll be doing a review of Attack of the Clones (oh s***, why am I watching that movie again).

Rating: 1/5


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