Starring: Kumail Nanjiani, Dave Bautista, Iko Uwais, Natalie Morales, Betty Gilpin, Jimmy Tatro, Mira Sorvino, Karen Gillan


Action comedy directed by Michael Dowse, in which the story follows mild-mannered Uber driver, Stu (Kumail Nanjiani), who after he picks up grizzled detective, Vic (Dave Bautista), who is hot on the trail of a bloodthirsty killer, finds himself thrust into a harrowing ordeal where he has to keep his wits, avoid danger, and work with his passenger while maintaining his high customer service rating.



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[as he checks his phone for his next Uber customer, who is Vic]
Stu: Please be a five star ride.


[Vic steps in front of Stu’s vehicle]
Vic: Hey! Uber?
Stu: Yeah.
[to himself as Vic gets into the car]
Stu: Be cool. Be nice.


Stu: I’m Stu. How do you do?
Vic: Compton.


Vic: I’m LAPD. Let’s go.
Stu: Well, do you have a more specific address?
Vic: Compton!
Stu: Stop yelling neighborhoods. That’s not how Uber works.


[as other passengers get into the car]
Sloane: Hi.
Stu: Hi, ladies.
Vic: What the hell is going on?
Stu: You selected the Uberpool option.
Vic: Uber what?
[he turns to the other passengers and holds up his police badge]
Vic: Ladies, official police business.
Sloane: Is that even real?
Vic: Get out of the car! Go!


Stu: Official police business?
Vic: Just going to see a friend.


[referring to the gun]
Vic: Take this.
Stu: Ooh. I am not touching that.
Vic: It’s a baby gun. It allows you to fire while crying.


Vic: [to Stu] Get angry! Own it!


[handcuffed by Vic and put in the backseat of the Stu’s car]
Amo Cortez: Is this an Uber?
[starts laughing]
Stu: Stop that! Why are you laughing?
[as Cortez tries to leave through the car window, Stu’s shoots the gun Vic gave him]
Amo Cortez: Ow! He shot me!
Vic: You got shot in the leg.
[to Stu]
Vic: Good for you, man. You shot your first guy.


[as Stu is driving crazy]
Vic: You’re scaring me, Stu, and I love it!


Stu: I got an idea! I’m going to throw this propane can at them. You shoot it, it’ll blow up their car!
Vic: This isn’t freaking Jaws!
Stu: Exactly! Just like Jaws, it’s going to work! Ready? Go!
[he throws the can out the window, Vic shoots it and it explodes the car chasing them]


Nicole: How do you know my dad?
Stu: He kidnapped me. We killed some people.
Nicole: Huh.


[to Vic as they are being shot at]
Stu: I got this.
[he picks up the phone next to him]
Stu: Hello, operator, we need help. Someone’s trying to murder us!
[just then his voice comes up in the factory speaker]
Stu: “Hello, operator, we need help. Someone’s trying to murder us!”
[the thug laughs and Vic grabs the phone off Stu in anger]
Stu: Okay. Okay.


[as Vic is being beat up by a thug]
Vic: Take your shot, Stu!
Stu: Just defeat him!
Vic: You take a shot!
[as Stu tries to shoot, the gun doesn’t shoot, he throws the gun at the thug, the thug catches it, punches Vic with it and throws it back in Stu’s face knocking him out]


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