By Cameron

 

The Guernsey Literar… whatever it’s called I think it should’ve been called ‘White Boring British Movie With Stupidly Long Name Society: The Movie’. Yeah that’ll do.

The Super Long and Completely Pointless Part of Cameron’s Reviews Known as The Pre-Review: I just saw… you know. If you’re under the age of ‘old’ or if you consider yourself ‘young’, you will hate this movie. I saw the trailers for different movies before seeing this and all of those looked way better than this one. Except Oceans 8 that just looked boring. Even one of them was for that new Mamma Mia movie that looked way more appealing to me. I know this movie isn’t made for me and if you enjoyed it, that’s fine, more power to you. But my Nana asked me to review this movie, so sorry I’m going to explain why you’re wrong and I’m right.

The Pointless Filler Part of Cameron’s Reviews Where He Explains What The Movie Is About Even Though Everyone Who Reads These Knows What it’s About and They Just Skip Over Cameron’s Explanation of The Plot: Based after WWII young writer Juliet Ashton (Lilly James) gets a letter from Dawsey Adams (Michael Huisman) a man who lives in Guernsey and is a part of a book club that started during the war. Juliet goes over to meet the book club but soon discovers a dark truth within the club.

My Dumb Thoughts That No One Ever Agrees With: This is the most boring movie I’ve seen so far this year. Let me elaborate this is the most boring generic movie I’ve ever seen. Nothing amazing happens. Nothing interesting happens, nothing different happens, and it’s a bland safe movie where by the end of the day you’re going to forget this movie ever existed. At the end of the movie I felt like I needed to be tucked in bed. I know this is based off some book and I bet the book is amazing just like the Twilight books are masterpieces according to most fans. Here’s the thing I honestly don’t care, if it’s based off a book so go and talk to a book expert than me who hasn’t read a book in his life. If I had read book I would still dislike it.

The Story About The Perfect Girl Who Meets The Rich Guy and The Dirty Guy and In The Middle of All That Is Some Boring WWII Stuff: What I mean by generic is because this is most clich├ęd movie I’ve seen so far. Lilly James is the flawless main character who does whatever the script says and will be more flawless if she had a perfect handsome guy to snuggle up with. So before she goes to see the book people. I was half watching the movie and half wishing I was watching The Avengers or some more exciting than this. But anyway once she arrived at the island and when she took off her engagement ring from rich American Guy. I pretty much predicted the rest of this movie and God Damn it I was so spot on!

For example the other club members keep talking about some hidden past that they don’t want Lilly James to find out. Well Lilly James you better go find out what they’re hiding. Dawsey’s wife is captured by The Germans. How long has the war been over? The Rich Dude keeps presuming her to marry him even though she likes her new friends better. I’m sure this will all work out in his favour. Then our two leads touch hands by accident, then they blush at each other and someone is frowning at them. Well I guess they’re in love now. See what I mean now? Anyone with an average intelligence knows how all this will play out.

I Guess It’s Best To Mention The Positives So I Don’t Look Like A Heartless Monster Who Hates Everything: This movie looks decent. There some nice shots on cliffs and by the beach. The performances are decent for the roles that had and I guess it historically accurate. I’m all out of positives, sorry.

A Movie Set In World War II Will Make People Sad Because World War II Happened: There’s a lot flashbacks throughout the movie of people living in World War II. I wasn’t alive when World War II happened, but at school I learned about all of this and I have a bit of knowledge on World War II history. I know these flashbacks are sad and they based off real events. The thing is these flashbacks happen every five minutes or so and they get really old. Whenever a character spits out these flashbacks it feels like their just throwing these out there just so they can hit every type of person who has some type of connection to this war. Because the main story is so boring they had to insert people losing loved ones, or Nazi’s being boring bad guys and just being Nazi’s just so they can pander to these people in a hope of getting someone to cry or to shed a tear. Yeah World War II was sad so that makes all these cardboard cut-outs more tragic and you’re supposed to feel sad for these people because World War II actually happened.

My Final Thoughts Which Is More of A Summary of Everything I Just Said and To Slap A Number At The End For The People Who Ignore The Review and Just Want To See My Score: This movie is the most uninspired movie I’ve seen in a while it’s not bad or good it’s easily a 5/10 it sits right in the middle with its generic story, characters and just all together a bland movie. I don’t recommend this movie to anyone, not even to its targeted audience. Go and watch Mamma Mia with really bad singing and that has more of a soul than this movie.

Those are my thoughts on The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. If you agree or disagree please let me know in the comments. If you can share it with your loved ones that would be great, and if you haven’t notice I’m a huge fan of movies and TV Shows and I’m willing to suffer for my audience (if I have any), so let me know on what I should review next. (It maybe a superhero movie or Mamma Mia, who knows)

Thanks for reading this review and I’ll see you again in the next review.

Rating: 3/5

 

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