Starring: Anne Hathaway, Rebel Wilson, Alex Sharp, Dean Norris, Tim Blake Nelson, Ingrid Oliver, Emma Davies
Comedy remake of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels directed by Chris Addison. The story follows two female scam artists (Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson), one low rent and the other high class, who team up to take down the dirty rotten men who have wronged them.
[on the diner of a train]
Lonnie: Is this seat taken?
[looks at the menu; to the waiter]
Lonnie: I’ll just get a glass of water please.
Lonnie: I have to save all my money because I’m here to find my sister. She’s been taken.
Guillaume: Taken? Like…
Lonnie: Like by men who sell hot white virgins to gajillionaires on yachts.
Guillaume: I am very moved by your story. Order anything you like.
[to the waiter]
Lonnie: I’ll have a club sandwich and an order of fries, two slices of cake.
Lonnie: Do you want any cake?
[to the waiter]
Lonnie: Three slices of cake and a diet coke.
[after watching Lonnie con the man on the train to pay for her dinner]
Con Artist: Impressive.
Lonnie: I’m a con artist.
Con Artist: Sisters-in-arms.
Lonnie: I had no idea how smalltime I was until I met you.
Con Artist: Why are women better suited to the con than men?
Lonnie: Because we’re used to faking it?
Con Artist: Because no man will ever believe a woman is smarter than he is.
[referring to the expensive bracelet]
Con Woman: Is it valuable?
Man: Five hundred thousand dollars.
Con Woman: I like it because it’s shiny.
Lonnie: I could be the partner you never knew you needed. Teach me your sugar baby ways.
Lonnie: Take this to the guest room, butlery person.
[throws her bag towards the butler, but it ends up landing in the sea below]
Con Woman: First lesson, there’s nothing more compelling to a man than a vulnerable woman. Observe.
[starts to cry]
Lonnie: Wow, you can just tear up like that. Can you make your tear roll down your cheek?
[a tear rolls down her cheek]
Lonnie: Oh. Oh.
Con Woman: Now you try.
[Lonnie attempts to make herself cry]
Con Woman: Are you constipated?
Con Woman: [to Lonnie] Men always underestimate us, and that is what we use.
Con Woman: [to Lonnie] If you want to be like me, you must be trained for any situation.
[referring to Lonnie]
Con Woman: She’s ready.
Lonnie: Who’s the mark?
Con Woman: He’s a tech millionaire.
Lonnie: Billionaire I bet.
Con Woman: Try to be as inconspicuous as possible.
[acting like a blind person as she walks towards the tech billionaire, Thomas]
Lonnie: Coming through. Yep, blind person walking here.
[Thomas gives up his seat for Lonnie, who is also sat next to the other con woman]
Lonnie: If this person would just scoot over.
[as she touches the con woman’s chest]
Lonnie: Would you mind, sir? Sir?
[to the two cops chasing after Lonnie]
Man: You let her get away!
[as they leave, we see Lonnie, dressed in a black dress, get up from where she was hiding with the black garbage bags in the alleyway]
Lonnie: Trashy dress, you did it again.
Lonnie: Release the peasants.
Amir: She must mean pheasants, yeah?
[Lonnie loads her gun]
Con Woman: Don’t worry, darling. She’s a terrible shot.
[Lonnie shoots the butler, who’s trying to get away, and hits him]
Con Woman: That was unexpected.
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