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Starring: Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy, Charlie Day, Jack Black, Keegan-Michael Key, Seth Rogen, Fred Armisen, Sebastian Maniscalco, Charles Martinet, Kevin Michael Richardson
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Illumination animated adventure comedy directed by Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic, based on Nintendo’s Mario video game franchise. The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023) follows Mario (Chris Pratt), a plumber who travels through an underground labyrinth with his brother, Luigi (Charlie Day), trying to save a captured Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy).
Our Favorite Quotes:'Nothing can hurt us as long as we're together.' - Mario (The Super Mario Bros. Movie) Click To Tweet
Kamek: [referring to Bowser] Behold! The king of the Koopas!
Penguin King: [after the penguins throw snowballs at Bowser] That is but a taste of our fury. Do you yield?
Bowser: I do not.
Mario: [TV commercial] It’s-a me, a-Mario.
Luigi: And-a Luigi.
Mario: Are you-a tired of a-paying too much for plumbing?
Luigi, Mario: Mamma mia!
Mario: That’s why the Super Mario Brothers are here. A-to save Brooklyn.
Luigi: And-a Queens. And-a your wallet.
Plumbing Commercial Woman: Thank you Super Mario Bros. It seems like the only thing you haven’t drained, is my bank account.
Mario: [TV commercial] Forget-a the expensive a-plumbing companies a-where you’re just a face-a. With-a Super Mario Brothers-a, you’re family.
Mario: I am so glad we spent our life savings on this commercial.
Luigi: That is not a commercial. That is cinema.
Mario: What about the accents? Is it too much?
Giuseppe: Too much-a? It’s-a perfect.
Spike: Well, well, well, if it isn’t Brooklyn’s favorite failures, the Stupid Mario Brothers.
Spike: Tell me, have you even gotten one call since you left me to start your dumb company?
Luigi: As a matter of fact, Spike, we have.
Mario: Wow. Really?
Luigi: Yeah. Our mom called, and she said, “Oh, boys, that’s the best commercial I’ve ever seen.” And I said, “Thank you very much, Mother. We’re very proud of it.” So, boom!
'Of course she hates me. But that makes me love her all the more.' - Bowser (The Super Mario Bros. Movie) Click To Tweet
Mario: You know, you can’t be scared all the time.
Luigi: You’d be surprised.
Plumbing Customer: You’ll be careful about making a mess?
Luigi: Ma’am, I assure you, we don’t make messes. We fix them.
Uncle Tony: It’s the Super Mario Brothers, from the TV.
Uncle Arthur: They give an Oscar for worst actors?
Mario: So, everybody saw the commercial then?
Uncle Tony: Uh-huh. We seen it.
Uncle Arthur: I wouldn’t quit your day job.
Uncle Tony: Oops! He already did.
Uncle Tony: Yeah, but what’s with the outfits? Plumbers wearing white gloves?
Mario: That’s right, you got to have a trademark. Got to stand out.
Mario’s Mom: Don’t listen to them. The world laughed at da Vinci too.
Luigi: I’m not sure they did, Ma.
'Pain is the best teacher.' - Bowser (The Super Mario Bros. Movie) Click To Tweet
Mario: Our whole lives, everyone’s telling us we can’t do this, we can’t do that. I’m just sick and tired of feeling so small.
Mario: [as they’re watching the news] Save Brooklyn? Luigi, this is our chance. Destiny is calling.
Luigi: Destiny Del Vecchio from high school?
Mario: What? No.
Luigi: I knew saving Brooklyn was a bad idea.
Mario: It’s all going to be okay!
Luigi: How is this going to be okay?
Mario: I’m telling you, nothing can hurt us as long as we’re together.
[suddenly they get separated]
'In an insane world, it is the sane who is called crazy.' - Lumalee (The Super Mario Bros. Movie) Click To Tweet
Toad: [to Mario] Do not touch that mushroom! You’ll die! Oh, I’m sorry. That one’s perfectly fine.
Mario: That’s a little mushroom man. A little mushroom man talking to me.
Mario: So this is not a dream?
Toad: [as he hits Mario with his stick] That hurt, right?
Toad: Definitely not a dream.
Toad: The Mushroom Kingdom!
Mario: Mushrooms? Really? Now, that is a cruel twist of fate.
Mario: Yeah, I’m actually looking for somebody. My brother, in fact. He looks exactly like me, but tall, and skinny, and green. See, last time I saw him, he was falling through a pipe. It was foggy, and I believe there was lava.
Toad: That is not good.
'Time, like hope, is an illusion.' - Lumalee (The Super Mario Bros. Movie) Click To Tweet
Toad: Come on, Mario! Our big adventure begins now!
Luigi: Yes! You just got a-Luigi’d.
Toad: Excuse me everybody, coming through. I got a big adventure happening right now. Just clear a path for us.
Toad: Excuse me. Excuse me everybody, coming through! This guy’s brother is going to die imminently! Out of the way please!
Toad: [to Mario] Just trying to clear a path. That’s all I’m doing. He’s going to be fine.
'I guess love really makes a guy come out of his shell.' - Bowser (The Super Mario Bros. Movie) Click To Tweet
Mario: Woh! Okay. So these bricks are just floating here?
Toad: Just pop in this pipe, and we’re on our way. It’s the only way to fly, man.
Toad: [to Mario] Here we are. Palace doors. Bing. Bang. Boom.
Toad General: Bowser has found the Super Star and is headed toward our kingdom. Its power will make him invincible. We will be destroyed.
Mayor Pauline: Princess, what are we going to do?
Princess Peach: I will not let him hurt you. We are going to stop Bowser.
Mayor Pauline: How? Look at us. We’re adorable.
'So this is the end. Being slowly digested by an eel, next to an idiot in overalls.' - Donkey Kong (The Super Mario Bros. Movie) Click To Tweet
Princess Peach: [referring to Bowser] I’m on my way to stop him.
Mario: Well, take me with you.
Princess Peach: This guy’s a lunatic. A psycho. He will eat you for breakfast. He won’t even notice it, probably, because you’re very, very small.
Princess Peach: Let’s see what you’re made of.
Mario: Is that a yes?
Princess Peach: No, that’s a “let’s see what you’re made of”.
Princess Peach: [referring to the obstacle course] Well, we have a long journey ahead of us, Mustache.
Mario: But I didn’t make it.
Princess Peach: You almost did. No one gets it right away.
Mario: How many tries did it take you?
Princess Peach: Oh, so many. I was not good at it. Worse than you.
Mario: You got it right away, didn’t you?
Princess Peach: I got it right away. But I grew up here.
Mario: Okay, now you’re just trying to make me feel better.
Princess Peach: No. No. Is it working?
Mario: A little bit. Yeah.