The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023) Quotes

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Starring: Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy, Charlie Day, Jack Black, Keegan-Michael Key, Seth Rogen, Fred Armisen, Sebastian Maniscalco, Charles Martinet, Kevin Michael Richardson

OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆

Story:

Illumination animated adventure comedy directed by Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic, based on Nintendo’s Mario video game franchise. The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023) follows Mario (Chris Pratt), a plumber who travels through an underground labyrinth with his brother, Luigi (Charlie Day), trying to save a captured Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy).

Our Favorite Quotes:

'Nothing can hurt us as long as we're together.' - Mario (The Super Mario Bros. Movie) Click To Tweet

Best Quotes

Kamek: [referring to Bowser] Behold! The king of the Koopas!

Penguin King: [after the penguins throw snowballs at Bowser] That is but a taste of our fury. Do you yield?
Bowser: I do not.

Mario: [TV commercial] It’s-a me, a-Mario.
Luigi: And-a Luigi.
Mario: Are you-a tired of a-paying too much for plumbing?
Luigi, Mario: Mamma mia!
Mario: That’s why the Super Mario Brothers are here. A-to save Brooklyn.
Luigi: And-a Queens. And-a your wallet.

Plumbing Commercial Woman: Thank you Super Mario Bros. It seems like the only thing you haven’t drained, is my bank account.

Mario: [TV commercial] Forget-a the expensive a-plumbing companies a-where you’re just a face-a. With-a Super Mario Brothers-a, you’re family.

Mario: I am so glad we spent our life savings on this commercial.
Luigi: That is not a commercial. That is cinema.
Mario: What about the accents? Is it too much?
Giuseppe: Too much-a? It’s-a perfect.

Spike: Well, well, well, if it isn’t Brooklyn’s favorite failures, the Stupid Mario Brothers.

Spike: Tell me, have you even gotten one call since you left me to start your dumb company?
Luigi: As a matter of fact, Spike, we have.
Mario: Wow. Really?
Luigi: Yeah. Our mom called, and she said, “Oh, boys, that’s the best commercial I’ve ever seen.” And I said, “Thank you very much, Mother. We’re very proud of it.” So, boom!

'Of course she hates me. But that makes me love her all the more.' - Bowser (The Super Mario Bros. Movie) Click To Tweet

Mario: You know, you can’t be scared all the time.
Luigi: You’d be surprised.

Plumbing Customer: You’ll be careful about making a mess?
Luigi: Ma’am, I assure you, we don’t make messes. We fix them.

Uncle Tony: It’s the Super Mario Brothers, from the TV.
Uncle Arthur: They give an Oscar for worst actors?

Mario: So, everybody saw the commercial then?
Uncle Tony: Uh-huh. We seen it.
Mario: And?
Uncle Arthur: I wouldn’t quit your day job.
Uncle Tony: Oops! He already did.

Uncle Tony: Yeah, but what’s with the outfits? Plumbers wearing white gloves?
Mario: That’s right, you got to have a trademark. Got to stand out.
Mario’s Mom: Don’t listen to them. The world laughed at da Vinci too.
Luigi: I’m not sure they did, Ma.

'Pain is the best teacher.' - Bowser (The Super Mario Bros. Movie) Click To Tweet

Mario: Our whole lives, everyone’s telling us we can’t do this, we can’t do that. I’m just sick and tired of feeling so small.

Mario: [as they’re watching the news] Save Brooklyn? Luigi, this is our chance. Destiny is calling.
Luigi: Destiny Del Vecchio from high school?
Mario: What? No.

Luigi: I knew saving Brooklyn was a bad idea.

Mario: It’s all going to be okay!
Luigi: How is this going to be okay?
Mario: I’m telling you, nothing can hurt us as long as we’re together.
[suddenly they get separated]

'In an insane world, it is the sane who is called crazy.' - Lumalee (The Super Mario Bros. Movie) Click To Tweet

Toad: [to Mario] Do not touch that mushroom! You’ll die! Oh, I’m sorry. That one’s perfectly fine.

Mario: That’s a little mushroom man. A little mushroom man talking to me.

Mario: So this is not a dream?
Toad: [as he hits Mario with his stick] That hurt, right?
Mario: Yes!
Toad: Definitely not a dream.

Toad: The Mushroom Kingdom!
Mario: Mushrooms? Really? Now, that is a cruel twist of fate.

Mario: Yeah, I’m actually looking for somebody. My brother, in fact. He looks exactly like me, but tall, and skinny, and green. See, last time I saw him, he was falling through a pipe. It was foggy, and I believe there was lava.
Toad: That is not good.

'Time, like hope, is an illusion.' - Lumalee (The Super Mario Bros. Movie) Click To Tweet

Toad: Come on, Mario! Our big adventure begins now!

Luigi: Yes! You just got a-Luigi’d.

Toad: Excuse me everybody, coming through. I got a big adventure happening right now. Just clear a path for us.

Toad: Excuse me. Excuse me everybody, coming through! This guy’s brother is going to die imminently! Out of the way please!
Toad: [to Mario] Just trying to clear a path. That’s all I’m doing. He’s going to be fine.

'I guess love really makes a guy come out of his shell.' - Bowser (The Super Mario Bros. Movie) Click To Tweet

Mario: Woh! Okay. So these bricks are just floating here?
Toad: Just pop in this pipe, and we’re on our way. It’s the only way to fly, man.

Toad: [to Mario] Here we are. Palace doors. Bing. Bang. Boom.

Toad General: Bowser has found the Super Star and is headed toward our kingdom. Its power will make him invincible. We will be destroyed.
Mayor Pauline: Princess, what are we going to do?
Princess Peach: I will not let him hurt you. We are going to stop Bowser.
Mayor Pauline: How? Look at us. We’re adorable.

'So this is the end. Being slowly digested by an eel, next to an idiot in overalls.' - Donkey Kong (The Super Mario Bros. Movie) Click To Tweet

Princess Peach: [referring to Bowser] I’m on my way to stop him.
Mario: Well, take me with you.
Princess Peach: This guy’s a lunatic. A psycho. He will eat you for breakfast. He won’t even notice it, probably, because you’re very, very small.

Princess Peach: Let’s see what you’re made of.
Mario: Is that a yes?
Princess Peach: No, that’s a “let’s see what you’re made of”.

Princess Peach: [referring to the obstacle course] Well, we have a long journey ahead of us, Mustache.
Mario: But I didn’t make it.
Princess Peach: You almost did. No one gets it right away.
Mario: How many tries did it take you?
Princess Peach: Oh, so many. I was not good at it. Worse than you.
Mario: You got it right away, didn’t you?
Princess Peach: I got it right away. But I grew up here.
Mario: Okay, now you’re just trying to make me feel better.
Princess Peach: No. No. Is it working?
Mario: A little bit. Yeah.

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Bowser: My army! Koopas! Goombas! Whatever those things are! After years of searching for the Super Star, it is finally ours!

Bowser: Soon, we will arrive at the Mushroom Kingdom. Where, after years of being sworn enemies, I will ask their princess to marry me in a fairy tale wedding!

Koopa Troopa 1: Did he say marry their princess?
Koopa Troopa 2: Doesn’t she hate you?
Bowser: Of course she hates me. But that makes me love her all the more. Her heart-shaped bangs, the way she floats in the breeze, her immovable tiara. And when she sees this star, oh, wedding bells.

Bowser: Prepare yourselves for the best wedding ever. It’s going to rock!

Princess Peach: [to Mario] They’re all counting on us. No pressure.

Toad: Hey, Mario.
Princess Peach: You know this guy?
Toad: We’re best friends.
Mario: But are we?

Toad: I fear nothing.

Bowser: [singing] Peach, you’re so cool. And with my star we’re going to rule. Peach, understand, I’m going to love you till the very end.

Kamek: A report from our intelligence. A mustachioed human has arrived in the Mushroom Kingdom.

Bowser: [referring to Mario] Does the princess like him?
Kamek: Oh, sire. Look in the mirror. You have nothing to worry about.
Bowser: I know that. I’m not threatened.

Bowser: Not sure if you know who I am, but I’m about to marry a princess and rule the world.
Luigi: Wow. Yay.

Luigi: Do you think I know every human being with a mustache, wearing an identical outfit with a hat, with the letter of his first name on it? Because I don’t.

Bowser: [referring to Mario] Do princesses find him attractive?
Luigi: They do if they have good taste!

Penguin King: [referring to Lumalee] Pay him no heed. He is cute, but he is…
[indicates crazy]

Luigi: How long you guys been in here?
Lumalee: Time, like hope, is an illusion.
Penguin King: Please! We are depressed enough!

Luigi: There’s got to be a way out of here.
Lumalee: There’s no escape. The only hope is the sweet relief of death.
Penguin King: Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!

Mario: That gorilla’s wearing a sports coat.
Toad: Feel underdressed.

Cranky Kong: What makes you think you’re worthy of fighting alongside the greatest army in the world?
Princess Peach: Because we have heart. And with your strength, we can win.
Cranky Kong: Okay, fine.
Princess Peach: That’s it?
Cranky Kong: No, that’s not it. The answer is no. Goodbye.

Cranky Kong: Are you two done whispering? It’s a little rude.

Donkey Kong: [to Mario] I don’t need anything special to break every bone in your tiny body!

Donkey Kong: It is on like Donkey Kong!

Mario: You’re about to pick on someone your own size.

Donkey Kong: Had enough?
Mario: Not even close.

Mario: Had enough?
Donkey Kong: Not even close.
Mario: [grabs Donkey Kong as he’s about to pass out] I’ll take that as a yes.

Princess Peach: That was incredible. He kept beating you senseless, and you just kept getting back up? You just don’t know when to quit.
Mario: Well, never thought of that as a good thing.
Princess Peach: It’s a great thing.

Donkey Kong: I let him win, just for the record.
Mario: Really though? Why would you do that?
Donkey Kong: You want to know why? It’s mind your own business! That’s why!

Bowser: Let’s rule the world together forever. Will you marry me?
Kamek: [pretending to be Peach] Oh, yes!
Bowser, Kamek: [as they’re interrupted by Koopa General] What?!

Mario: No one panic, but the road is about to end.
Cranky Kong: Well, then you better step on the gas and buckle up!

Princess Peach: Is there anything like this in your world?
Mario: No. We don’t drive on rainbows.
Princess Peach: What are you going to tell me next? That the turtles aren’t evil?
Mario: No. No. They’re usually pets.
Princess Peach: No way.

Donkey Kong: Dude, is this you flirting? This is painful.
Mario: I was trying to be nice.
Donkey Kong: You are so embarrassing. A princess would never go out with you.
Toad: Yes, she would. I guarantee she would.

Toad: I’m too cute to die!

Toad: [as Peach saves him] That is how you princess!

Donkey Kong: Mario, you saved my life.
Mario: Yeah, well, I won’t tell anyone.
Donkey Kong: Good. Please don’t.

Bowser: Peaches, with this star, we will be invincible. We can rule the world together forever. Will you marry me?
Princess Peach: Marry you? Are you insane? I would never marry you.

Lumalee: Ooh, fresh meat for the grinder.
Cranky Kong: Who’s this ray of sunshine?
Lumalee: There’s no sunshine, only darkness.

Kamek: Hello, prisoners. You don’t deserve this, but you’re invited to the royal wedding!
Penguin: Yay!
Kamek: Where you will all be ritualistically sacrificed!

Donkey Kong: So this is the end. Being slowly digested by an eel, next to an idiot in overalls.
Mario: Well, at least your brother isn’t going to die because of you.
Donkey Kong: At least you’re not going to die with your dad thinking you’re a joke.
Mario: Yeah, well, my dad thinks I’m a joke too.
Donkey Kong: Yeah? Well, your dad’s right!

Donkey Kong: I am more than a guy who smashes things!

Princess Peach: You really thought I’d marry you?
Bowser: Kind of.
Princess Peach: I’d never marry a monster.
Bowser: Then we are breaking up right now!

Donkey Kong: Cool raccoon suit.
Mario: Really?
Donkey Kong: Not at all.

Mario: [to Luigi] I told you. See? As long as we’re together, everything is going to be okay.

Cranky Kong: You did good, kid. Make your pecs dance. You deserve it.
Donkey Kong: No time now. Definitely later.

Bowser: [to Mario] You ruined my wedding! I was finally going to be happy! Now you will suffer! Like me!

Mario, Luigi: [TV commercial] Mamma mia! That’s why the Sup-Super Mario Brothers are here. A-to save Brooklyn.

Mario: Let’s-a go.

Bowser: You just don’t know when to quit.
Mario: Yeah. I’ve been told that before.

Bowser: Listen, this is not the way I pictured it, but give me one more chance.
Princess Peach: Ew, no.

Mario: [after they shrink Bowser] I told you I’d get you a pet turtle.
Princess Peach: Not bad, Mustache. And, Luigi, you’re so brave.
Luigi: Oh. Thanks. Yeah, it’s kind of my thing.

Lumalee: Now, that’s a happy ending. Or is it? Because everything’s over now, and all that’s left is you and the infinite void. Kind of makes you want to play saxophone, huh?

Bowser: [mid-credits lines, singing] Mario, Luigi and Donkey Kong too. A thousand troops of Koopas couldn’t keep me from you, Princess Peach. At the end of the line I’ll make you mine. Oh, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches. Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches. I love you.

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