Starring: Robert De Niro, Oakes Fegley, Uma Thurman, Christopher Walken, Jane Seymour, Rob Riggle, Cheech Marin, Laura Marano


Family comedy directed by Tim Hill. The story follows Peter (Oakes Fegley), who’s recently widowed grandfather, Ed (Robert De Niro), moves in with his family, and is forced to give up his bedroom and has to move upstairs into the creepy attic. Unwilling to let such an injustice stand, Peter devises a series of outrageous pranks to drive Ed out, but Ed won’t go without a fight. Soon, the friendly combatants are engaged in an all-out war.


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We’ll add the best quotes once the movie is released and we’ve had a chance to watch it, but for now here’s a small selection.




Grocery Store Manager: Can I help you, sir?
Ed: You can help me find Maria.
Grocery Store Manager: Oh, Maria’s gone. We’re completely self-checkout now.


[as Ed continually tries to scan his item]
Self-Checkout: Please scan your item. Please scan your item. Please scan your item.
Ed: I just did.
Self-Checkout: Please scan your item.
Ed: Yeah, right.
[he walks out of the store taking his items]
Grocery Store Manager: Sir!


Sally: This can’t be happening.
Ed: You’re not putting me in a home!
Sally: What if it were our home.


Peter: How do you like your room?
Ed: Okay, look, I didn’t want it to be this way either.
Peter: I just want my room back!


[as a bat chases him in the attic]
Peter: Get away from me!
[as he tries to run away from the bat he hits his head on the door panel]
Peter: Oh, come on!


Jerry: How’s your daughter’s place, Ed?
Ed: She gave me my grandson’s room, and he’s not too happy about it.


Jerry: This kind of aggression shall not stand! Semper fi.
Ed: I didn’t know you were a marine.
Jerry: I wasn’t. I’m just saying.


Peter’s Friend: I wouldn’t put up with this, Pete. I’d demand my room back, or else it’s war.


[reading from the note Peter left him]
Ed: “Declaration of War. You give me back what is mine or face the consequences.” Okay. Okay. You got your wish.


[as he tries to shave the shaving foam has set hard on his face]
Ed: What the…?
[he looks at his shaving cream]
Ed: “Fast Drying Foam Sealant.” I’m going to get this kid.


Diane: So let me get this straight. You want me to help you and your buddies, to help beat up your grandson and his buddies, because the two of you can’t figure out some way to live in the same house?
Ed: Well, when you put it like that.
Diane: I’m in!


Ed: Let’s do this.
Peter: Do you guys even remember how to play dodgeball?
Danny: Are you sure you don’t need your diaper changed?
Peter’s Friend: Are you sure you don’t?


[as they’re playing dodgeball]
Jerry: Run for your life!


[as Ed gets electrocuted by the Christmas lights and falls from the roof]
Jennifer: Santa’s dead!
Jerry: Did you see that?


Peter’s Friend: I think your grandpa might be a ninja.


Ed: [to Peter] We got to end this somehow!


[as they are sat in Jennifer’s room]
Peter: Why are we doing it this way?
Ed: When you have peace talks, you need someone neutral to mediate.
Jennifer: He gave me a cookie.
Ed: It is true, a cookie was given.


What do you think of The War with Grandpa quotes? Let us know what you think in the comments below as we’d love to know.



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