Transformers: Age of Extinction Quotes - Mindless Incoherent Mess(Total Quotes: 182)
Directed by: Michael Bay
Written by: Ehren Kruger
Mark Wahlberg – Cade Yeager
Stanley Tucci – Joshua Joyce
Kelsey Grammer – Harold Attinger
Nicola Peltz – Tessa Yeager
Jack Reynor – Shane Dyson
Titus Welliver – James Savoy
Sophia Myles – Darcy Tirrel
Bingbing Li – Su Yueming
T.J. Miller – Lucas Flannery
James Bachman – Gill Wembley
Thomas Lennon – Chief of Staff
Charles Parnell – CIA Director
Peter Cullen – Optimus Prime (voice)
Frank Welker – Galvatron (voice)
John Goodman – Hound (voice)
Ken Watanabe – Drift (voice)
Robert Foxworth – Ratchet (voice)
John DiMaggio – Crosshairs (voice)
Mark Ryan – Lockdown (voice)
Reno Wilson – Brains (voice)
OUR REVIEW & RATING ★★☆☆☆
How does one describe Transformers: Age of Extinction quotes without being cruel? Well, you just can’t! At best the quotes from this fourth installment in the Transformers franchise are a jumbled mess of mindless, disjointed clichés and the movie is so long that it overkills any sense you had when you began watching it.
The story continues on from the events of the original trilogy taking place five years after the invasion of Chicago and focuses on struggling inventor Cade Yeager and his daughter, who after making the discovery of Optimus Prime finds himself in trouble with the government and is forced to go on the run with his daughter and her boyfriend and at the same try to rectify the reputations of the Transformers and save Earth from extinction.
The script is sadly just too bloated with misplaced humor, multiple story lines, completely forgettable two-dimensional characters that none of the actors can save, and full of trite dialogue that you just can’t get passed.
Verdict: Hardcore fans may stand to sit through this and may even enjoy it, but sadly for the rest this just comes off as a mind-numbing incoherent chaos that does nothing to help the franchise from falling into the awful funk it has and what makes it worse is that further sequels are already in the works. It would be great if this franchise was put to rest for a while before rehashing it again.
[we see earth millions of years ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth, a Cybertronian spaceship descends to earth and uses devices called “Seeds” to extinguish the dinosaur population and the rest of life on earth]
[first lines; The Arctic – we see geologist Darcy Tirrel coming to a dig in the Arctic]
Arctic Site Foreman: Oh, shit. Darcy, you really shouldn’t have come.
Darcy Tirrel: Show me.
[the foreman takes Darcy to the site]
Arctic Site Foreman: Corporate was adamant, we keep running. No stopping operations.
[referring to the metal detector and the security guard]
Arctic Site Foreman: No, no, no. You got to go through. No cameras. He’s got orders to kill, I don’t even think international laws apply up here.
[Darcy goes through the detector]
Darcy Tirrel: We are geologists first. If this thing has any historical significance at all, we are shutting down. I’m shutting us down.
[the guard points his rifle at Darcy as she starts going towards the site, the foreman puts up a hand to stop him from shooting]
Darcy Tirrel: Oh, he’s going to shoot me? Shoot me.
Arctic Site Foreman: Hey, now don’t kill her.
[Darcy turns and makes her way to the site and the foreman follows her]
Arctic Site Foreman: This is crazy stuff.
[Darcy and the foreman walk up to a dinosaur corpse covered in a strange metal]
Arctic Site Foreman: Crazy shit.
[the foreman uses a hammer to the metal on the dinosaur corpse and turns to Darcy]
Arctic Site Foreman: Well, what do you think?
Darcy Tirrel: I think history is about to change.
[Texas, U.S.A. – inventor Cade Yeager drives into town as he pulls up he sees his partner, Lucas Flannery turn up in his mini]
Lucas Flannery: [singing] I’m a nasty woman!
Cade Yeager: Oh, look who decided to show up for work?
[he gets out of his truck and gets his tools]
Lucas Flannery: [singing] I’m a heartbreaker. Gonna make you cry.
[Lucas gets out of his car and sees Cade walking over to him]
Cade Yeager: What, surf report no good at South Padre?
Lucas Flannery: The waves are flat and I got no gas. You know that, Cade.
[to the car passing through cutting him off as he crosses the street]
Lucas Flannery: Dude, rude.
[referring to the two women walking by him]
Lucas Flannery: Look at these two junebugs. Wooh! My, my!
Lucas Flannery: Hey, you’re paying me on this one, right, Cade? Please tell me I’m getting paid.
Cade Yeager: You know, Lucas, a lot of guys are just happy to have a job at all.
Lucas Flannery: Yeah, I suppose.
Cade Yeager: You got any cash on you?
Lucas Flannery: Yeah.
Cade Yeager: Alright, good.
[they walk over to a rundown theater, Lucas extends his hand to the theater landlord’s grandson]
Lucas Flannery: Hey, Lucas Flannery.
[they shake hands and enter the theater]
Landlord’s Grandson: Place has been in the family since ’28. Granddaddy ran it all his life. Ain’t that right, Granddaddy? Real soon he’s gonna sign it over to me.
Theater Landlord: The movies nowadays, that’s the trouble. Sequels and remakes, bunch of crap.
[he points to an old movie poster of “El Dorado”]
Theater Landlord: I love that one. Oh.
[to Cade and Lucas]
Landlord’s Grandson: He’s deaf and senile.
Theater Landlord: Heard that.
[pointing to the old projectors]
Landlord’s Grandson: Now these just need some spit and polish. I believe they’re digital, possibly IMAX.
Cade Yeager: Yeah, they’re not. Mister, we’ll have a look around if you want to leave us to it, okay?
Theater Landlord: You know, folks used to come from miles around to see the dancing girls with the big cha-chas.
Landlord’s Grandson: I swear to God I am one diaper change away from poisoning his oatmeal.
[to the old theater landlord]
Cade Yeager: Hey, you hang in there, buddy. If coming here makes you feel young, then you tell this kid to bring you here every day.
[to the grandson referring to the camera lens in his hand]
Cade Yeager: Seven bucks, or I keep talking.
Landlord’s Grandson: Sold.
[as they look around the old theater]
Lucas Flannery: Remember this place when we were kids? How many girls you think you brought here in high school?
Cade Yeager: I only remember one.
[Cade finds an old football and picks it up]
Cade Yeager: Hey, heads!
[he throws the football at Lucas and it hits him hard in the head]
Lucas Flannery: Ow!
Cade Yeager: That’s why you didn’t make the varsity team.
Lucas Flannery: Ah. Alright. Go long.
[Lucas throws the football but it bounces off a theater chair, hits something and breaks it before landing near Cade]
Lucas Flannery: Leave it.
[Cade notices and old rusty looking truck in the theater and goes over to check it out, as he opens the door some empty iron shells drop out onto the ground]
Cade Yeager: Mortar shells? What the hell happened to you?
[going over to the theater landlord’s grandson]
Cade Yeager: Hey, Snakeballs. How much for the truck?
Landlord’s Grandson: Truck?
[Cade’s daughter, Tessa, is dropped off near her house by her friends]
Tessa Yeager: Two more weeks, girls, till no more classes, ever. Almost time to get a tan and get wasted!
Tessa and her friends: Wooh!
[Tessa’s friends drive off, she picks up the mail and stuff people have left for Cade to repair and walks up to the house, she opens a letter and holds it up]
Tessa Yeager: Please, please.
[she looks to see the letter has a red stamp with the word “DENIED” on it]
Tessa Yeager: No financial aid. Great.
[as she walks over to the front porch a robotic dog comes out of the house barking]
Tessa Yeager: Yes. I know I’m home, thank you.
Robotic Guard-Dog: Intruder alert! Back away from the premises!
Tessa Yeager: Voice recognition. It’s me!
Robotic Guard-Dog: I am dialing 911.
Tessa Yeager: Go right ahead. I don’t care.
Robotic Guard-Dog: I’m still calling 911.
[Tessa enters the house]
[we see a bunch of news reports regarding The Battle of Chicago]
CNN News Reporter: The Battle of Chicago was an event that permanently changed our world.
New Reporter #1: Over thirteen hundred dead.
CBS News Reporter: Much of the city has been destroyed.
New Reporter #2: Homeland Security is urging everyone to report suspicious alien activity.
New Reporter #3: A swift act of Congress put an end to all joint operations between the military and the Autobots, ending the alliance.
[CIA Agent, Harold Attinger, is at a committee hearing]
Harold Attinger: As this committee knows, the Invasion of Chicago was a defining day for our nation five years ago. The day millions of people realized that never again can we allow aliens to fight our battles for us. A handful of Autobots were given sanctuary after joint-combat operations were abolished. Fewer than a dozen Decepticons are still on the run thanks to our CIA unit, “Cemetery Wind.” As for the alien technology, our objective remains to keep it in American control.
[they watch footage where Transformers have been found by a robot thief]
Robot Thief: Hi. My name is Timothy. This is my crew. We found this alien ball turret in Chicago. We just found it in the rubble and it’s all working…
Harold Attinger: Word has it Japan, India, the Israelis may have gotten their hands on a couple of ships. Apparently the Russians are starting a bidding war.
[they continue to watch the footage again]
Robot Thief: We’re taking five thousand dollars for it. It’s got thirty-six guns, alien shit.
Harold Attinger: A new era has begun, and the age of the Transformers is over.
[as Cade and Lucas drive the old truck home, Tessa contacts her boyfriend, Shane Dyson, via her laptop]
Tessa Yeager: Hey.
Shane Dyson: Hey, I’ve been waiting for you. You’re looking hot today.
Tessa Yeager: Oh, yeah? How about you take your shirt off?
Shane Dyson: You want me to take my shirt off right now? What would your dad think of that?
[Tessa hears Cade’s truck arriving outside, she picks up her laptop]
Tessa Yeager: What the hell?
Shane Dyson: Hey, where you going?
[Tessa walks over to her window with her laptop]
Tessa Yeager: I cannot believe him. I cannot believe this.
[as Tessa looks out her window she notices the old truck Cade has brought home]
Tessa Yeager: What the hell?
[instructing the truck driver as they pull up outside his house]
Cade Yeager: All the way!
Tessa Yeager: A truck? Dad, please tell me you didn’t spend our money on this.
Lucas Flannery: Oh, no, don’t worry, he didn’t. He spent my money, a hundred and fifty bucks of it.
Cade Yeager: As an advance on your regular paycheck.
Lucas Flannery: What regular paycheck?
Cade Yeager: Which you will get back.
Lucas Flannery: When?
Tessa Yeager: Never. We’re broke.
Lucas Flannery: I knew it.
Cade Yeager: Sweetheart, could you please not drive a wedge between employer and employee.
Lucas Flannery: Hold on. I thought we were partners.
Cade Yeager: Look, I came up short, okay? I had to buy her a prom dress. You want me to deny her a prom dress?
Lucas Flannery: You might as well. You denied her a prom date.
Cade Yeager: No, I offered to take her and chaperone.
Lucas Flannery: Nobody wants to go to the dance with their dad, it’s weird.
Cade Yeager: It’s not the issue.
Tessa Yeager: Well, maybe it should be.
Cade Yeager: Hey, could you guys just get off my case? You know what the engine on this runs for? I can break it down and strip it for parts. And sweetheart, your shorts are shrinking by the second, okay? Cold water, air dry, please.
[Tessa turns and walks off]
Lucas Flannery: I think she looks hot.
Cade Yeager: What did you say?
Lucas Flannery: Like a hot teenager.
Cade Yeager: Oh, it’s the “teenager” thing that makes it better. Thank you.
Lucas Flannery: I didn’t say…it didn’t sound like what it meant.
[Cade and Lucas set up the truck in his barn]
Cade Yeager: That goes by the circuit boards. Put the Zeiss lenses over there.
Tessa Yeager: Dad, please. You can’t keep spending money on junk just so you can turn it into different junk.
Cade Yeager: We do not use the “J” word in here. That is a Super Simplex theater projector, it’s very rare. What about the Smile-Pilot? Or the Exer-Mower that I invented? Simply ahead of their time.
Lucas Flannery: Yeah, like the alleged Guard-Dog.
[referring to the robotic dog as it starts barking]
Cade Yeager: You’re gonna get him upset.
[referring to the Butler-Bot]
Lucas Flannery: Hey, Cade! Cade! This thing still work?
Tessa Yeager: No!
Cade Yeager: Yes. Yes, and still groundbreaking. Go back there and lay on the recliner and just wait for a cold one.
[as Lucas punches something playfully]
Cade Yeager: Dude, stop breaking stuff.
[dropping down the bills in from of Cade]
Tessa Yeager: Final notice, late notice, past due.
[Lucas is sat on the recliner waiting for the Butler-Bot to bring him a cold beer from the fridge]
Lucas Flannery: Come on, come on. Bring Daddy the alcohol. Come on.
[holding up the items in her hands]
Tessa Yeager: I mean, what is all this crap people send you?
Cade Yeager: That’s a Discman and that’s an 8-track tape. Music.
Tessa Yeager: Never heard of it.
[she throws the items down]
Cade Yeager: Look, I fix that, it’s a hundred bucks. I fix that, it’s two-fifty. If I would have been able to fix that before you broke it even more, it would have been twenty bucks. This stuff is what’s gonna put you through college, as long as you land one of those scholarships.
[as Lucas still waits for the Butler-Bot to bring him the beer]
Lucas Flannery: What’s the estimated time of arrival, usually? Average?
[the Butler-Bot stops mid-way to Lucas]
Lucas Flannery: Wait. So it just brings the beer near you? That’s the trick?
Cade Yeager: It’s got a couple kinks, man.
Lucas Flannery: Yeah.
Tessa Yeager: Dad, you think maybe some things should never be invented?
Cade Yeager: No, I don’t. That’s backwards thinking. This is a temple of technology, you guys are standing in a holy place.
[a realtor pulls up outside Cade’s property to show some clients]
Realtor: What do you think? Why don’t you look at all of this? This could be yours. What about this land?
[to Tessa as he hears the realtor’s voice outside]
Cade Yeager: Purple People Eater’s back and she looks hungry.
[to the clients]
Realtor: Isn’t this incredible? I love it! I knew you would like it.
Cade Yeager: Hey, you! Hey.
[Cade runs towards them carrying his baseball bat]
Cade Yeager: I own this house! It’s not for sale!
Realtor: Six months late on payments, Mr. Yeager. And I see you stealing power at the pole.
Cade Yeager: Hey, that’s not your concern. Sir, do you wanna see the property?
Realtor Client: Sure.
Cade Yeager: I’d be more than happy to give you a tour. I’ll show you three other buyers I got buried out back, then I’ll crack your head open like an egg!
[Cade holds up the baseball bat threateningly]
Realtor: Stay back! Stay back!
Realtor Client: He’s crazy.
[the clients quickly rush towards the realtor’s car]
Cade Yeager: I told you don’t come back here anymore!
Realtor: I will have my brother come back and beat your ass! Don’t you start with me!
Cade Yeager: Why don’t you do it yourself?
Realtor: And I’ll bring the police when I come, too! My brother ain’t no joke!
[the realtor gets into her car]
Cade Yeager: Who, Jerry? You bring his big ass up here, he’s gonna be huffing and puffing before he can squeeze out of that car! You back out on my grass, you’re gonna be in big trouble! You tell Jerry to come see me. I’ll give him some pecan pie.
[the realtor backs up then turns onto the grass before driving off]
Cade Yeager: Hey!
[Cade watches as she drives off and smashes through the fence]
Cade Yeager: She smashed through the fence?
Lucas Flannery: Cade, relax. You’re going to have an aortic infarction.
Cade Yeager: What is that?
Lucas Flannery: I think it’s a brain heart attack.
Cade Yeager: Yeah, I’ve had one already.
Tessa Yeager: So we’re stealing power now?
Cade Yeager: No, we’re borrowing it from the neighbors.
Tessa Yeager: Great, that’s awesome. Once I graduate and I’m gone, who’s gonna take care of you?
Cade Yeager: Oh, you take care of me?
[Tessa nods her head]
Cade Yeager: Who taught you how to solder a circuit? Or write a program? Or French braid your hair? Or throw a spiral? Me. That’s what I do.
Tessa Yeager: Who taught you how to cook without ketchup, or balance your checkbook? Who always has to be the grownup around here?
Cade Yeager: Alright, you got a point, okay? But that means we’re a great team. And I know it’s been sucky around here lately. But we’re gonna be fine, sweetie. You just gotta keep believing, okay? I mean, that’s what great inventors do. I promise you, one day, I’m gonna build something that matters.
Tessa Yeager: I believe you, Dad.
Cade Yeager: You know, your mom would be very proud of you.
[Tessa smiles and nods her head]
Cade Yeager: It’s gonna be okay.
[Cade walks off to get back to his work]
[CIA Agent James Savoy is leading the Cemetery Wind team in hunting down Autobots in the middle of the night at a shipyard]
Cemetery Wind Team #1: Spread out! Push right!
Cemetery Wind Team #2: Roll, roll, roll, roll. Give me two. Give me two.
James Savoy: Take the beach, nice and easy.
Cemetery Wind Team #2: Alright, hold what you got.
James Savoy: Release the mini-drones.
[the team release the mini-drones which head towards a ship]
Cemetery Wind Team #3: Vipers. Eagle in sight. Cleared hot.
[looking at the monitors]
James Savoy: Got a heat sig. Second stack, closest to the bow.
Cemetery Wind Team #3: Predator 0-1. Captured target area. Set charges.
[the team board the ship]
Cemetery Wind Team #1: Leader, leader, this is Gunfighter 0-1. Eagles moving internal. Second deck.
[the team head up to the ship’s rooftop]
Cemetery Wind Team #1: Breached site on rooftop. Breached site on rooftop.
Cemetery Wind Team #2: Have Echo Platoon on standby.
Cemetery Wind Team #1: Let the Helo know we’re moving external!
Cemetery Wind Team #2: Alpha, take port. Bravo, take starboard. Shift right. Shift right.
[the team place an explosive on board the ship]
James Savoy: Cracking steel!
[the rooftop of the ship explodes as the Autobot, Ratchet is brought out of his hiding place]
Cemetery Wind Team #1: Hit him, hit him, hit him!
[the team start shooting at Ratchet]
Cemetery Wind Team #4: Fire.
[a missile is released]
Cemetery Wind Team #3: Missiles out. Danger close.
[the missile hits the ship]
James Savoy: He’s running! Move!
[the team start following Ratchet who’s transformed into an ambulance and driving off fast]
Cemetery Wind Team #3: He’s on the run! He’s on the run!
[the team shoot at Ratchet, as he transforms back into his Autobot form they shoot his leg off]
[Ratchet struggles to stand after having his leg shot off]
Ratchet: No! Please! Hold your fire. Hold! Hold fire! Can you not see? I’ve been injured.
Cemetery Wind Team #3: Box him in. Box him in.
Ratchet: Medical Officer Ratchet! I’m a friend! I’m an Autobot!
[the team surround Ratchet]
James Savoy: Then why are you running?
Ratchet: Optimus sent this distress message.
[he plays the message]
Optimus Prime: [voice] Calling all Autobots. We are under targeted attack. Cease all contact with humans.
Ratchet: We’re all hiding. All Autobots are being hunted. We’re all in danger.
James Savoy: I lost a sister in Chicago. You’ll get no sympathy from me.
[just then Transformer bounty hunter Lockdown appears and shoots Ratchet]
[the rest of the Cemetery Wind team start shooting at him]
Ratchet: What’s wrong with you humans? No! Please.
[Ratchet falls down, mortally wounded]
Cemetery Wind Team #3: Check fire, check fire!
[Lockdown walks over to Ratchet]
Lockdown: He’s mine now.
Lockdown: Autobots, Decepticons. Like little children, always fighting. Making a mess out of the universe. Then I’ve got to clean it up. There is one way you survive, tell me where he’s hiding. Where is Optimus Prime?
[Lockdown punches his fist into Ratchet’s chest and brutally kills him]
Lockdown: Never is here.
[Lockdown walks away from Ratchet’s body, transforms into his vehicle form and drives off]
[the President’s Chief of Staff meets with the CIA Director and Attinger]
Chief of Staff: I must say, it is remarkable, really astounding, the success that the CIA has had since you have taken operational control, and so the President has asked me to ask you to ask him, to invite you both, uh…over, uh…to the White House just to powwow, where we get maybe some more specifics about how exactly you’re hunting the enemy Decepticons left.
CIA Director: I’ve had my desk for two years, Mr. Attinger’s been here for twenty-five. He runs the projects where I don’t ask for specifics. That’s why they’re called Black Ops, and why we all sleep better at night.
Chief of Staff: Check. That is great. So, um…
[he looks at Attinger]
Chief of Staff: Any dirt on that, uh…how, uh…that’s going?
Harold Attinger: Outstanding.
Chief of Staff: Great! Oh, great. I was hoping to hear that, the President will be pleased. Cause, uh…I’ll tell you right now, I have only been Chief of Staff since Monday. Um…but I do know that the alien war stuff, these are…these are the only fun meetings.
Harold Attinger: Look, I’m not here to entertain the President, but you may tell him that the war will be over, soon.
[the Chief of Staff jots this down in his notebook]
Chief of Staff: “…be over…” In case he asks, I just like to have an exact quote. “War will be over soon.” That is great, such good news.
Chief of Staff: And, um…the President would, I know, just love, really, really love to press the flesh…not flesh, obviously, but just uh…maybe get a shot with, um…is it Lord Prime? Sir Prime? We could bop on Air Force One. It’d be just a quick bop, then we just bop in and bop back.
Harold Attinger: I wouldn’t get his hopes up on that one.
Chief of Staff: Okay.
CIA Director: He’s called Optimus Prime.
Harold Attinger: Alien combatant. Here illegally.
Chief of Staff: But aren’t they our friends? Why?
Harold Attinger: Because our world will never truly be safe till all of them are gone.
Chief of Staff: Oh. Well, I would hope we could do a much more ceremonial farewell. Especially since military has worked so closely with them.
[looking at Attinger]
Chief of Staff: Until you.
Harold Attinger: It’s not their planet. Never was. Time we take it back.
[Cade is working on one of his robot inventions]
Cade Yeager: Alright, come on. Come on.
[the robot, which has a roller paint brush in its hand, lifts his arm to start painting]
Cade Yeager: Yes. Yes. Yes.
[Cade watches with joy as his robot invention is painting the wall]
Cade Yeager: Oh, there you go.
[suddenly the robots arm starts shaking]
Cade Yeager: No, hold it. Stop shaking! Why are you shaking?
[the robot suddenly stops]
Cade Yeager: You have the job!
[Tessa enters the barn]
Tessa Yeager: You forgot to eat dinner! You see why I worry?
[she brings him a tray of food]
Cade Yeager: Look, sorry, sweetie, I…I almost got it working right.
Tessa Yeager: So, listen, I’m done with homework and set with finals, so I was just gonna take a little drive with some friends if that was okay with you. No boys, I know. Graduate first.
Cade Yeager: Exactly.
Tessa Yeager: You do know no one else has this rule, right?
Cade Yeager: Rule? Don’t make it sound harsh, okay? It’s wisdom. I don’t think we need to be driving around in the middle of the night. It’s already like quarter to eight, it’s almost dark.
[to one of his inventions which is shooting out footballs]
Cade Yeager: Spud, will you stop it?
[he points to the photo of him with his wife holding Tessa when she was born]
Cade Yeager: You know where I was for my graduation?
Tessa Yeager: Yes. With me, the mistake.
Cade Yeager: The surprise, Tess. And the best thing that ever happened.
[looking at the photo]
Cade Yeager: Do we look unhappy? Huh? No, it’s the greatest day of my life. I made your mother a promise before she passed. Our baby’s gonna be at her graduation, and that’s it. Look in high school boys know nothing, it’s only later they turn into men.
Tessa Yeager: So if you were older and wiser, I wouldn’t exist.
Cade Yeager: That’s not what I meant. You know, this is a non-dating household, okay? You don’t date, I don’t date. That’s it.
Tessa Yeager: Well, maybe you should.
[Tessa starts to leave]
Cade Yeager: Tessa, wait.
[she walks out of the barn and Cade follows her]
Cade Yeager: Tessa. Look, I know I’ve been on you, okay? But I have to be. Twelve to seventeen is the official teenage danger window. It’s my job to get you through it. So you can be pissed off all you want. And, yes, you can take a ride with your friends.
Tessa Yeager: Okay.
[Tessa smiles and kisses Cade’s cheek]
Tessa Yeager: Don’t work all night. And eat.
[she walks off]
[Cade walks out onto his front porch at night and looks up at the sky]
Cade Yeager: Best thing that ever happened, Emily. She’s the best thing that ever happened. You’d be proud.
[just then he hears noise coming from his barn]
Cade Yeager: Oh, no.
[we see his latest invention has short circuited and has caught fire, Cade enters the barn and uses the fire extinguisher to set the fire out]
Cade Yeager: Unbelievable. Unbelievable. God! Something in here needs to make this family some money.
[Cade’s eyes fall to the old truck]
Cade Yeager: Come on, you old wreck. Judgment Day.
[the next morning Lucas drives up to Cade’s house as he gets out of the car he calls out to Tessa who’s looking out her window]
Lucas Flannery: Where is he?
Tessa Yeager: I don’t know.
[as Lucas steps onto the front porch the robotic guard dog starts barking]
Robotic Guard-Dog: Intruder alert! Intruder alert!
Lucas Flannery: Asshole.
Robotic Guard-Dog: I am dialing 911.
[Lucas notices the eviction notice stuck on the door and takes it off, at the same time Tessa walks out the front door]
Lucas Flannery: Tess, I’m basically your uncle. Su casa es mi casa.
[he holds up the eviction notice to show her]
Lucas Flannery: And we’re going to lose the casa.
[Tessa yells out to Cade as her and Lucas make their way to his barn]
Tessa Yeager: Dad!
Cade Yeager: Coming!
[Cade comes out from working under the old truck]
Tessa Yeager: Are you working with lasers? If so, I’m not coming in.
[Cade opens the door to his barn as Tess and Lucas are about to enter]
Cade Yeager: You guys have never seen a truck like this before. Get in here. Lock that door.
[Tessa and Lucas enter and Lucas goes to shut the door]
Lucas Flannery: It doesn’t have a lock.
[Cade takes them over to the old truck]
Cade Yeager: Look! Look at the hole in the radiator. Look at the size of it. Something blew a hole in it!
Lucas Flannery: Yeah, so?
Cade Yeager: It’s not normal steel. The shrapnel in the engine, it ripped all the connections apart. And watch, and this took some Cade genius. You are gonna love this. When I hook this back to a working battery…
[he connects the engine wires to the battery, sparks start flying as the truck starts and starts playing the message from Optimus Prime]
Optimus Prime: [voice] Calling all… Calling all Autobots.
Cade Yeager: Oh, yeah. I don’t think it’s a truck at all, I think we just found a Transformer.
Lucas Flannery: Tran… Ugh! Evacuate!
[Lucas starts running off with Tessa following behind him]
Cade Yeager: Wait! Guys!
[after they leave the barn]
Tessa Yeager: Dad, are you out of your mind? You need to get that thing out of here!
Cade Yeager: You don’t have to worry, I’ve been in there working all night. I’m fine.
Lucas Flannery: You know what? That’s not a truck, okay? You’re right. It’s an alien killing machine. Jesus!
Cade Yeager: Dude, it’s DOA. It’s been recalled, totaled, done!
Lucas Flannery: So, listen, there’s a number that you call. You’re supposed to call the government. It’s the American thing to do. Here we go. You’re supposed to call, and if it ends up being alien, then you win twenty-five thousand dollars.
Cade Yeager: You don’t win money.
Lucas Flannery: And if you can capture it live, like tag it like a wild wildebeest, then you get a hundred thousand dollars.
Tessa Yeager: Dad, we’re making the call.
Lucas Flannery: I heard that.
Cade Yeager: I’ve seen the commercial and they don’t say that. That’s not a guarantee.
Tessa Yeager: We need the money, dad.
Lucas Flannery: You think Greg would lie to me?
Cade Yeager: Look, if that’s a Transformer there from the Battle of Chicago, I need to know how it works. I’m an inventor, this could be a game changer for me! If I can apply that technology to my inventions, we’d never have to worry about money again.
Tessa Yeager: I’ve heard that before.
[Cade goes back to his barn to work on the truck again]
Tessa Yeager: Twenty-five grand! It pays for my college. It pays for the house.
Lucas Flannery: Besides, you used my money to buy the truck, right? So technically, that’s my truck. Don’t you think?
Cade Yeager: You also signed a contract regarding all research labs I.P.
Lucas Flannery: Research lab? It’s a barn, dude.
Cade Yeager: You signed it and now you’re competing. Any idea of yours is mine. Any thought you have, I own it, so basically, I own you.
Lucas Flannery: I don’t think you can own someone. That was like a while ago, even in Texas.
[Cade puts on his work apron and grabs his helmet]
Cade Yeager: Alright. Bring the torch over and help me with the pulley arm. I think the shrapnel took out its power core. Oh, and, Tessa, you see this?
[he takes a hammer and starts hitting the front of the truck]
Tessa Yeager: Jesus.
Cade Yeager: Would an alien killing machine let me do that? Look, I’ll make the call, we’ll get the money. Just first let me see if I’m right. You want to hide in the house? Go ahead.
Tessa Yeager: Okay.
[Tessa turns and walks off; to Lucas]
Cade Yeager: Let’s go. Pulley arm.
[as Tessa runs towards the house]
Tessa Yeager: I can’t believe him!
[referring to the part from the truck Cade is holding in his hand]
Lucas Flannery: What is that? Looks like a missile.
Cade Yeager: It is! Woh!
[the missile shoots off and starts bounding around the barn before heading outside and into Cade’s house, Tessa runs towards the barn]
Tessa Yeager: Dad! There’s a missile in the family room!
Cade Yeager: Holy…
[back in the barn suddenly the truck transforms into Optimus Prime]
Optimus Prime: I’ll kill you! No! No!
[just then Tessa runs in and Cade grabs hold of her]
Tessa Yeager: Dad, there’s a missile in… Dad!
[Optimus Prime points his weapon at Cade and Tessa]
Optimus Prime: I’ll kill you! Stay back!
Cade Yeager: Oh, no. Don’t shoot. Don’t shoot!
Lucas Flannery: Call 911! Run!
[as Lucas starts to run off Optimus Prime knocks him down]
Cade Yeager: Lucas!
Optimus Prime: Stop!
Cade Yeager: Lucas? Don’t move, just calm down.
Optimus Prime: Easy, human.
[to Tessa; referring to Optimus Prime]
Cade Yeager: Stay there. He’s not gonna hurt us.
[Cade slowly walks towards Optimus Prime]
Optimus Prime: Weapons systems damaged.
Cade Yeager: A missile hit your engine, and we took it out of you. You’re hurt really bad. I’m just trying to help you. You’re in my home now. I’m an engineer, my name is Cade Yeager.
Optimus Prime: Cade, I am in your debt. My name is Optimus Prime. My Autobots, they’re in danger.
[suddenly Optimus Prime collapses onto his knees looking badly injured]
Optimus Prime: I need to go. I need to go now.
Cade Yeager: How far you think you’re gonna get? Tessa, come here. He needs our help.
[Tessa walks over to Cade]
Cade Yeager: What happened to you?
Optimus Prime: An ambush, a trap, set by humans.
[he starts coughing]
Optimus Prime: I escaped and took this form.
Tessa Yeager: But you’re on our side. Why would humans hurt you?
Optimus Prime: They were not alone. My Autobots can repair me.
Cade Yeager: Yeah. If you can reach ’em. What about me?
[Attinger meets with Lockdown on his ship]
Lockdown: I warn you, Mr. Attinger of Earth, an alliance is a contract, and contracts, like humans, expire.
Harold Attinger: On this planet, we have a saying: “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”
Lockdown: I also have a saying: “I don’t care.”
Harold Attinger: So what happened in Mexico City? I thought you had him.
Lockdown: Three direct hits, a mortal wound. Then your men allowed him to escape. You promised me human intelligence. Or is there such a thing?
Harold Attinger: You know, you’ve still never told me. Why do you want him? Who are you working for?
Lockdown: Every galaxy I’ve traveled, all you species are the same. You all think you’re the center of the universe. You have no idea.
Cade Yeager: Go to the hardware store and you get the list. The whole list.
[Cade hands him the piece of paper]
Lucas Flannery: What, you’re going to try and fix him? He’s not a model train set, Cade.
Cade Yeager: No, that’s right. He’s important.
Lucas Flannery: Yeah, but important to who? You can’t keep an alien locked up in your barn. What are you gonna do, play with him?
Cade Yeager: Will you calm down?
Lucas Flannery: I’m trying to, but I just got hit in the head with a ten-foot cannon! If he eats you, I get the GTO.
[Lucas gets into his car]
Cade Yeager: Not a word to anybody. Do you hear me? Not a single word. Nobody.
[Attinger arrives at the Central Intelligence Agency headquarters]
CIA Analyst #1: I think we have a lock on a high-value target. Special Operations group is ready.
Harold Attinger: What do you got?
CIA Analyst #2: Sir, Special Ops just got a call from Paris, Texas. Hard match on the truck seen leaving Mexico City.
[she hands him the photos of the truck]
Harold Attinger: Son of a bitch. Let’s go get him.
[Cade helps repair Optimus Prime in his barn]
Cade Yeager: Took a hell of a hit, you know. The missile just missed your power source.
Optimus Prime: We call it a Spark. It contains our life force and our memories.
Cade Yeager: Yeah, we call it a soul.
[Attinger enters the CIA control room]
Harold Attinger: Scramble Cemetery Wind. Thank you for your efforts, ladies and gentlemen. This room is going dark. The exit is on your left. I’ll take it from here.
CIA Analyst #1: Okay, let’s go.
[the staff in the room leave, Savoy contacts Attinger via his radio]
James Savoy: I’m with Cemetery Wind. We’re on the move. Repeat, on the move.
[Savoy and the Cemetery Wind team start heading off to Texas to capture Optimus Prime; back at Cade’s barn]
Optimus Prime: Cade, why are you willing to help me?
Cade Yeager: I guess maybe because you trust me to.
[the next day Lucas pulls up at Cade’s]
Lucas Flannery: I’m back!
Tessa Yeager: Took you long enough!
Lucas Flannery: My head hurts, I had to go to the doctor! I got a welt on my head that makes me look like a fricking Star Trek character.
[he walks over to the barn]
Tessa Yeager: Whatever.
[we see Lockdown appearing in Texas]
Kid Playing Baseball: Look! Look!
[Attinger watches the Cemetery Wind team as they drive to Cade’s property]
James Savoy: We’re on property.
Cemetery Wind Team: Viper 1-5 overhead. Angels 1.
[sat out on the front porch Tessa notices cars driving up to their property]
Tessa Yeager: Dad!
[the Cemetery Wind Team vehicles surround Cade on his property, Savoy gets out of his vehicle and walks over to Cade]
James Savoy: Mr. Yeager, my name’s James Savoy. I’m a federal agent. My men and I are trying to track down an abandoned truck. It’s a nice spread you got here. Too bad she’s for sale.
Cade Yeager: Well, thanks. She’s not. That the truck you mean?
James Savoy: Afraid not. You know, Mr. Yeager, we received a call from someone concerned about this truck.
[to himself as he watches Savoy and his team]
Cade Yeager: Oh, no.
James Savoy: That wasn’t you?
Cade Yeager: Only thing I’m concerned about is you being on my property without permission. You know, we got a rule about people messing with people from Texas. And I don’t know what truck you’re talking about.
James Savoy: The kind that cost American lives.
[to his men]
James Savoy: Search the property!
Cade Yeager: What do you mean, “search the property”? You don’t have a warrant!
James Savoy: My face is my warrant.
Lucas Flannery: Wait. But if you guys do find a truck, we get a reward, right?
[as the Cemetery Wind team search around Cade property]
Cemetery Wind Team: Viper 1-5 holding, point alpha.
[at the same time Attinger watches the teams search via the monitors back at the CIA headquarters]
Cemetery Wind Team: Charlie team, hold tight. Lock it down
[the team enters Cade’s barn]
Cemetery Wind Team #1: Open, open, open. Short wall. Short wall. Five in. Five in.
[as they enter the robotic guard dog goes off]
Robotic Guard-Dog: Intruder alert! Back away from the premises.
Cemetery Wind Team #1: What the hell is that?
Cemetery Wind Team #2: Just some dumb inventor.
Cemetery Wind Team #3: Clear.
Cemetery Wind Team #4: Clear.
Cemetery Wind Team #5: Clear right.
Cemetery Wind Team #3: Clear.
Cemetery Wind Team #1: Three sixty-seven twenty. Heads on a swivel.
[as they team finishes checking the barn]
Cemetery Wind Team #1: Let’s go. There’s nothing here.
[the team walks out of the barn; to Savoy]
Cemetery Wind Team #1: There’s no signs. We got nothing.
Cemetery Wind Team #6: Sir, we have a live armed missile in the trash.
Lucas Flannery: Live? I carried that to the trash! You told me that was a dud, dude. I could be dead. Right?
Cade Yeager: Look. Okay, yes, I found a truck, alright? I towed it back for the parts. I left it here last night. This morning, it’s gone. When? Where? I don’t know. I swear to God. That’s as much as I know about him.
[Attinger watches this from the monitors; to Savoy]
Harold Attinger: “Him.” He said, “Him.” He knows who the son of a bitch is.
James Savoy: Mr. Yeager.
Cade Yeager: What?
James Savoy: Excuse me. You just said, “Him.”
[to his men]
James Savoy: Take them down.
Cade Yeager: What?
[one of the men grabs hold of Tessa and starts dragging her off]
Tessa Yeager: Ow! Let me go!
Cade Yeager: They don’t know about the truck! I know! Just let her go.
James Savoy: What kind of a man betrays his flesh-and-blood brethren for alien metal? Get this guy out of my sight.
Tessa Yeager: Get off!
Cade Yeager: Let her go! They don’t know about the truck!
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