By Shelby Fielding (Lubbock, Texas, US)
This my first annual top 10 list of films that I disliked the most this year. And, 2016 delivered some atrocious abominations to the art of filmmaking. These ranking are not based upon rating, but they are based upon which film I would want to watch again the least and which film would pain me the most to have to watch again. This is purely my humble opinion and I hope you enjoy it. And, let’s kick this film off with the honorable mentions.
The Purge: Election Year: A film that relies on crappy stupid visuals with terrible dialogue and awful performances.
Sausage Party: A raunchy film that was made just to be raunchy and it sucked.
Ben-Hur: A completely unnecessary remake that only the pro was Morgan Freeman in dreadlocks.
Collateral Beauty: A film that makes you hate all of the characters for being the worst friends ever.
There are 10 more movies worse than this… I might cry. Let’s kick it off with number 10.
A film that completely ruins and doesn’t use any of the awesome parts of the first one. It tries to replicate an awesome Will Smith performance with a bland boring useless character. This film even made Jeff Goldblum hard to watch, I didn’t even know that was possible.
9. The Darkness
This is a stupid film that is not scary at all. It follows every horror cliché and treats the audience as if we have never seen a movie before by explaining everything all the time. How is Kevin Bacon in this film? He deserves better!
The ongoing of terrible video game movies continue, and this film makes sure it stays intact with god awful editing and shares no relation to its source material whatsoever. Not even Michael Fassbender could save this film. And, if he can’t save video game movies, I don’t think anyone can.
I was actually excited for this film. I love Stephen King and liked 1408. This film is filled with terrible direction and ends so terribly that it makes you question Stephen King as an author and the animation looks like it belongs an old dial up computer from the 90’s.
6. Max Steel
A Hollywood cliché film that tried to make a movie about something that used to be popular so that the studio could make money. Instead they came out with this garbage that portrays a coward for a superhero. That no one saw, but tragically I did because I’m a film critic. I’m kind of regretting choosing this career.
5. Shut In
An incredibly boring film that should’ve been really good! But instead it has no reason to exist. And the twist is so stupid and really it’s a 90 minute film of watching Naomi Watts walk around a house.
4. When the Bough Breaks
Another crappy ripoff of the actually good film known as Fatal Attraction. It’s another crappy September lifetime film that is stupid. Why did I see this film? It’s awful! people were falling asleep in the theater!! Why did anyone see it? This film is so pointless why does it exist? … Uhh… I’m having a nervous breakdown and there’s still three more movies worse than this one.
5. Gods of Egypt
This is a film that takes itself so seriously but it is so stupidly performed, directed, written, it was offensive, pointless, and a ripoff. Why does the film exist and what are these actors doing? You guys are actually talented, go do something productive with your talent!
2. Norm Of The North
Oh, my God! How did this film end up in theaters? I actually saw this film by accident. It made me question my faith because why would Jesus make me sit through this torturous piece of garbage? This should have been straight to DVD. DVD only!! This film doesn’t deserve to be on Blu-ray cause it was so freaking awful!!
1. Nine Lives
How?… How?… How was this film made? Why was this film made? Did someone kidnap Kevin Spacey and hold his family hostage to force him to act? This film is awful, I walked out of the theater asked for a refund knowing they would not give me my money back. But, it felt right to ask. I finished this film over the next week because I felt I needed to. Purely as a film critic and out of curiosity if it could get worse. And, oh my God! It got so much worse.
Thank you for listening to me and reading all of my reviews this year! I hope to keep going and get my YouTube channel up and running this year! Hope to see way better movies than this garbage. Nonetheless what was your worst movie of 2016? What film should I have included? Let me know down in the comments below and as always have a blessed day.