Starring: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Brie Larson, Dave Franco, Rob Riggle, DeRay Davis, Ice Cube, Dax Flame, Chris Parnell, Ellie Kemper, Jake M. Johnson, Nick Offerman, Holly Robinson Peete, Johnny Pemberton, Stanley Wong, Justin Hires, Brett Lapeyrouse, Lindsey Broad, Caroline Aaron, Joe Chrest
OUR RATING: ★★★★☆
Buddy cop action comedy directed by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller. 21 Jump Street (2012) follows two police officers, Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and Jenko (Channing Tatum), who are forced to relive high school when they are assigned to go undercover as high school students to prevent the outbreak of a new synthetic drug and arrest its supplier.
Our Favorite Quote:
Hamilton Principal: You’re not going to the prom. Boy, you’re lucky you’re even graduating.
Jenko: But I’m going to be prom king.
Hamilton Principal: I’m glad you had a great time in school, because you ain’t learn nothing!
Jenko: [seven years later, as Schmidt is entering the police academy] Not so Slim Shady? What’s up?
Jenko: [as they are about to graduate the academy] You ready for a lifetime of being bada** m**herf***er?
Schmidt: Oh, I am.
Jenko: [cut to Schmidt and Jenko riding police bicycles around a park] I really thought this job would have more car chases and explosions. And less homeless people doo-dooing everywhere.
Schmidt: [to the One Percenters smoking marijuana in the park] Gentlemen, we having a little party?
Jenko: Have we forgotten that the use of marijuana is illegal?
Domingo: Well, I have glaucoma.
One-Percenter #1: I get nervous in crowds.
Tom Hanson: Herpes.
Domingo: [to Schmidt and Jenko] Are you guys even real cops? You look like the kids on Halloween.
Jenko: I’ll beat your d**k off with both hands. What’s up? Let’s go.
One-Percenter #1: That’s weird, man!
Schmidt: I think what he was trying to say was, he’s going to punch you so many times round the genital area that your d**k’s just going to fall off.
Schmidt: [as the One Percenters make a run for it] What do I do?
Jenko: Chase someone!
Schmidt: Chase someone? Are you leaving your bike here?
Deputy Chief Hardy: [referring to Domingo] The department was forced to drop the charges, because you forgot to read him his Miranda rights. What possible reason is there for not doing the only thing you have to do when arresting someone?
Jenko: I did read him his rights. I did a version of that.
Deputy Chief Hardy: [referring to Jenki reciting the Miranda rights] Go ahead. It’s four declamatory sentences followed by a question, for a total of fifty-seven words.
Jenko: Okay. Look, it obviously starts with, “You have the right to remain silent.” I know you heard this before. And then like…
Schmidt: [whispers to Jenko] You have the right to an attorney.
Jenko: Oh, right! You have the right to remain an attorney. And…
Deputy Chief Hardy: Did you say that you have the right to be an attorney?
Schmidt: You do have the right to be an attorney, if you want to.
Deputy Chief Hardy: Where were you?
Schmidt: I was chasing my perp, sir.
Deputy Chief Hardy: And how did that go for you?
Schmidt: Honestly, he did get away, and he threw me down pretty hard. I actually f***ed up my elbow pretty bad.
Deputy Chief Hardy: May I see that?
Schmidt: Yeah, actually it hurts because the dirt gets mushed into it.
Schmidt: [as Hardy flips his finger hard at his injured elbow] Ow!
Deputy Chief Hardy: I think you idiots are perfect. You’re officially transferred.
Jenko: That’s great. Where should we report to?
Deputy Chief Hardy: Down on Jump Street. 37 Jump Street. No, that doesn’t sound right.
Captain Dickson: [at 21 Jump Street] You will be going undercover as high school students. You are here simply because you look young. You some Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus looking m**herf***ers.
Schmidt: [whispers to Jenko] Captain’s sassy.
Captain Dickson: I know what you’re thinking. Angry, black Captain. It ain’t nothing but a stupid stereotype. Well guess what, m**herf***ers? I’m black, and I worked my a** off to be the Captain! And sometimes I get angry. So suck a d**k! What I’m trying to show you is, embrace your stereotypes.
Captain Dickson: [points to Jenko] Like this guy, right here. Handsome, and he’s probably a dummy.
Captain Dickson: [points to Schmidt] And then this guy. He’s short and insecure, and he’s probably good with money.
Jenko: [whispers to Schmidt] Well, you are good with money.
Captain Dickson: [to Schmidt and Jenko] Teenage the f*** up!
Captain Dickson: Keep that dirty d**k in your pants. Don’t f*** no students. Don’t f*** no teachers.
Schmidt: Sir, I know we come off as a couple of ladykillers, but I promise you we will be super professional on the job.
Captain Dickson: Clearly I wasn’t talking to you, big titties! You cherub looking m**herf***er. I was talking to your partner over here, Fake A** Handsome McGee! When I’m talking to him, I’m talking to him. When I say, “Shut the f*** up,” I’m talking to you.
Captain Dickson: [to Schmidt and Jenko] They’re teenagers, man. They’re really stupid, so you should blend right in.
Captain Dickson: Whatever he took, the lab has never seen it before. And as you can see, this kid is white. That means, people actually give a s**t.
Schmidt: Sir, I just want to throw out to you that I would give a s**t if he was black.
Captain Dickson: Schmidt, it says you were a virgin through high school.
Schmidt: It says that?
Captain Dickson: No, I just assumed it. Due to your many years on the honor role and your membership to the juggling squad.
Schmidt: It’s a juggling society, but it’s fine. It’s fine.
Captain Dickson: The mission is this, infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier.
Jenko: We get to be brothers?
Captain Dickson: Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier!
Jenko: What if we find the supplier first? We don’t have to worry about the dealer?
Captain Dickson: Goddamn! Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier!
Schmidt: [praying at the Korean church at 21 Jump Street] Hey, Korean Jesus. I don’t know if you cater to Korean Christians, or if you even exist. No offense. I’m just really freaked out about going back to high school. It was just so f***ing hard the first time. I know we haven’t made our first arrest, or maybe I’m not the best cop. Korean Jesus, I just really don’t want to f*** this up. I’m sorry for swearing so much. The end? I don’t really know how to end a prayer. The end? Yeah.
Captain Dickson: Stop f***ing with Korean Jesus! He ain’t got time for your problems! He’s busy, with Korean s**t!
Schmidt: [referring to his pictures at his parents house] Guys, can we get rid of this stuff? I mean, it looks like I died in a car crash and you guys haven’t moved on.
David Schmidt: If we take it down, we have to stop bragging about you.
Schmidt: I look like Fred Savage from The Wonder Years! But completely naked wearing Indian friendship bracelets.
David Schmidt: That is a great picture, Morton.
Jenko: You look like a young Jay Leno.
Schmidt: [to his parents] I mean this is a fourth grade participation medal for soccer. It’s literally a medal for sucking!
Schmidt: If you don’t know your identity, we’re screwed tomorrow. You got to study this stuff.
Jenko: Forget those identities, they’re bulls**t! It says I was held back a year.
Schmidt: You were. You were held back two years.
Jenko: Just because it’s a fake back story, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt my feelings.
Schmidt: Dude, do you still not know the Miranda rights? You’re a cop!
Jenko: Come on, man. They always cut away on TV before they finish them.
Jenko: Are you two strapping?
Schmidt: My backpack? Yeah.
Jenko: I got to be seen with you. You got to one strap it. Seriously, I’d have no strap if that would even be possible.
Schmidt: Okay, what makes you the expert?
Jenko: I was cooler in high school than you were.
Schmidt: Okay, that makes sense. Continue.
Jenko: The three keys of coolness in high school, by Jenko. One, don’t try hard at anything. Okay? Two, make fun of people who do try. Three,be handsome. Four, if anyone steps you on the first day of school, you punch them directly in the face. Five, drive a kick-a** car.
Jenko: [as he sees old run down car they will be driving] S**t.
Jenko: [as Schmidt tries to jump across the car] You okay?
Schmidt: I think I s**t my pants.
Jenko: I didn’t punch him because he’s gay. I punched him, and then he’s happened to turn out to be gay afterwards.
Juario: I was gay when you punched me!
Schmidt: In a weird way it might have been homophobic not to punch you, just because you are gay.