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Starring: Dave Bautista, Ella Purnell, Ana de la Reguera, Theo Rossi, Tig Notaro, Huma Qureshi, Garret Dillahunt, Raúl Castillo, Omari Hardwick, Hiroyuki Sanada, Matthias Schweighöfer
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Netflix’s horror zombie heist directed and co-written by Zack Snyder. After a zombie outbreak in Las Vegas, Army of the Dead (2021) follows a group of mercenaries who take the ultimate gamble by venturing into the quarantine zone to pull off heist.
Our Favorite Quote:'It is by going down into the abyss where we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.' - Vanderohe (Army of the Dead) Click To Tweet
Bly Tanaka: It’s not every man who saves the secretary of defense from a horde of flesh-eating monsters, earns the Medal of Freedom, only to end up…
Scott Ward: Working at a burger joint. Mr. Tanaka, I am well aware of my situation.
Bly Tanaka: There’s two hundred million in the basement vault beneath the Strip. Two hundred million the insurance company already reimbursed me for, untaxable, untraceable.
Scott Ward: Unspendable.
Bly Tanaka: That’s where you come in.
Bly Tanaka: [to Ward] I want you to put together a team and get it out. In exchange, fifty million is yours to divvy up amongst whomever you take in with you. Intrigued? Don’t give me an answer. Think on it for the night.
Scott Ward: Mr. Tanaka, I’m in a tough spot. I don’t like you very much. So I hate giving you the satisfaction of taking the job, but…
Bly Tanaka: You’d best to gather your team. You’ll need a helicopter pilot and a safecracker.
Scott Ward: So you think it’s a bad idea?
Maria Cruz: Come on, Scotty. It’s not a matter of “think”. It’s a matter of “is”, and it is a bad goddamn idea.
Scott Ward: You’re out?
Maria Cruz: I didn’t say that.
Scott Ward: You’re in?
Maria Cruz: I didn’t say that either.
Scott Ward: But you’re intrigued.
Maria Cruz: That much I’m guessing your a** knew before you even walked in.
Scott Ward: I mean, think about it. Everything we did, all those people we saved, look what it got us. But what if, just once, we did something just for us?
Maria Cruz: We could die.
Scott Ward: Yeah, we’ll probably die. Some of us at least.
Scott Ward: So where’s your head at?
Vanderohe: You know, when we were in it, like when we were really in it, I never thought about the faces of all the countless monsters, but now just realized, you know, were people. But now their faces, that’s all I see. I don’t know if being back in would be better or worse. God, I can’t figure that out, but I guess there is a chance that it could be cathartic.
Scott Ward: There it is.
Marianne Peters: Hundred percent. I’m in. Yeah.
Maria Cruz: You don’t want to know the risks, or…
Marianne Peters: Why would I want to know the risks? Two million dollars? That’s a lot of cash. Listen, I hate my life so deeply, if I had two million dollars, my life would change drastically.
Scott Ward: What would you say about making five hundred grand?
Mikey Guzman: I’d say, “Who the hell do I got to kill?”
Dieter: [referring to the safe] Can I crack it? This is like showing me a picture of Botticelli’s Madonna of the Magnificat, and asking me if I want to f*** her.
Dieter: Can it be opened, and by me? I don’t know. I honestly don’t.
Scott Ward: Okay.
Dieter: Watch your fingers, Mr. Big Hand. But of the world’s living locksmiths, do I represent your greatest chance of opening it? I can, with humility, say yes.
Maria Cruz: You’re in?
Dieter: It’s a doorway to another realm, my friends, and providence has brought you to me. We go through it together.
Vanderohe: Scott, you want to tell me what’s up with the kid, man? I mean, look at him. No offense, but he doesn’t exactly look like zombie killer material, does he?
Dieter: Hi, my name is Dieter, and I’m going to open what cannot be opened.
Vanderohe: [laughs] Are you kidding me?
Scott Ward: No, we need the kid to open the safe. We lose him, we got nothing.
Bly Tanaka: If you coordinate, and communicate, this should be a simple in-and-out.
Bly Tanaka: You will enter the city with a thirty-two hour window. Whatever zombies are still walking should be no problem for a gang of tough hombres such as yourselves.
Scott Ward: Well, we all know the basics. Zombies, shamblers, the undead, whatever you want to call them, when it comes to killing them, it’s all about the brain. One comes at you, shoot it in the brain. It’s that simple. Any questions?
Dieter: Yes. What if I took a big rock and smashed it into the head? Would that work?
Scott Ward: Yeah. Yeah, that also would still be targeting the brain, so that would work.
Bly Tanaka: Back at the main door, our safecracker gets to work. Like a surgeon, or a painter, his masterpiece rendered in barely audible clicks. Finally, she succumbs to the sheer dominance of his gentle touch. Then, all you have to do is load the money on the helicopter and fly off into the sunset.
Bly Tanaka: All this, a full day before the nuke ever leaves the launchpad. Easy peasy Japanesey.
Dieter: Sorry, sir. We’re not allowed to say that anymore. It’s “lemon squeezy” now.
Bly Tanaka: Yeah, but I’m…
Marianne Peters: I think it’s fine if he’s Japanesey.
Bly Tanaka: As you wish. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
Bly Tanaka: How’re you feeling?
Scott Ward: You’re insane. You know that, right? But if it’s a choice between dying on the Strip, and spending another day flipping patties at the Lucky Boy, I’ll gamble on a few million.
Scott Ward: I know this is not going to make up for what I did, or what type of father I was.
Kate Ward: Yeah.
Scott Ward: With fifteen million, you can help these people. You can go back to school, do whatever you want. Whatever you do with this money, I know will be the right thing.
Kate Ward: What one thing?
Maria Cruz: I swear to God, if this whole mission is some insane way for you to reconnect with your daughter…
Scott Ward: It’s not, alright? Trust me. She’s a volunteer at the camp. She’s got connections. She’s just giving us a ride into the quarantine zone. You really think I’d take her inside the city?
Martin: Hey, how you doing? I don’t think we’ve officially met. My name’s Martin.
Chambers: Don’t talk to me. I don’t trust these people, but especially you.
Kate Ward: [to Ward] Try not to get nuked, or murdered by the undead.
Dieter: [referring to the knife] You don’t think I need something bigger?
Vanderohe: If I give you something bigger than that, Dieter, you’re already dead.
Vanderohe: Auf Wiedersehen, dead.
Scott Ward: Listen to me. As someone who’s seen what this looks like, this is not a path you want to go down. And I’m not going to let you try. So you’re going to stay put. We’ll look for your friend. And I’ll see you when we get out. Okay?
Kate Ward: No. No, not okay. You listen. I’m going in either way. I can either go in with you, and you can keep me safe. Or I’ll just sneak in after you, and I’ll probably die. The choice is yours. What’s it going to be, dad?
Kate Ward: I don’t f***ing get it. Why the f*** would she bring him?
Scott Ward: Honey, easy with the f-bombs, okay?
Kate Ward: Are you kidding? We’re about to march into a sea of dead people and commit grand larceny. But excuse me for swearing.
Dieter: [referring to zombies] What happened to them exactly?
Lilly: What’s it look like? Weren’t smart enough to get out of the sun. You should see what happens when it rains. For a few hours, they all come back to life.
Dieter: Oh, Scheisse.
Kate Ward: What happened here?
Lilly: Where the police and military finally fell. Vegas’s last stand.
Martin: It’s a goddamn zombie tiger. That’s crossing the line.