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Home / Best Quotes / Artemis Fowl Best Quotes – ‘You are not prepared for the truth.’

Artemis Fowl Best Quotes – ‘You are not prepared for the truth.’

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Starring: Ferdia Shaw, Lara McDonnell, Josh Gad, Tamara Smart, Nonso Anozie, Colin Farrell, Judi Dench

OUR RATING: ★★☆☆☆

Story:

Sci-fi fantasy adventure directed by Kenneth Branagh. The story centers on young genius, Artemis Fowl (Ferdia Shaw), a descendant of a long line of criminal masterminds. As he seeks to find his father, who has mysteriously disappeared, with the help of his loyal protector, Domovoi Butler (Nonso Anozie), he uncovers an ancient, underground civilization, the amazingly advanced world of fairies. Deducing that his father’s, Artemis Sr. (Colin Farrell), disappearance is somehow connected to the secretive, reclusive fairy world, Artemis concocts a dangerous plan, so dangerous that he ultimately finds himself in a perilous war of wits with the all-powerful fairies.

 

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Our Favorite Quotes:

'Until I see you again, may the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face. May the rain fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, may a friend be always near.' Share on X 'A friend's eye is a good mirror.' - Artemis Fowl Share on X 'Our world has never been so much in danger. It's not perfect. But it's ours. It's a light to guide us, and it's worth fighting for.' - Commander Root (Artemis Fowl) Share on X

 

Best Quotes


 

Interrogator: What’s reality is that you are a common thief, who is somehow in league with a quite uncommon thief. We want to know everything about the man you work for.
Mulch Diggums: The man? Oh, no. This isn’t about the father. This is about the son.
Interrogator: The son?
Mulch Diggums: Do not underestimate the kid. Let me show you the infinite possibilities of magic. Let me tell you the story of Artemis Fowl.


 

[referring to Artemis]
Mulch Diggums: When he was ten, he cloned a goat and named it Bruce. Weird choice, but he’s an unusual kid. And you know when you’re that unusual, you’re going to stick out.


 

Dr. Po: The problem is that you don’t respect anyone enough to treat them as an equal.
Artemis Fowl: That’s ridiculous. I hold several people in the very highest esteem.
Dr. Po: Really? Who, for example?
Artemis Fowl: Albert Einstein. His theories were usually correct.
Dr. Po: How about someone you actually know?


 

Mulch Diggums: But, of course, Artemis wasn’t on his own, even if it may have seemed that way sometimes. For if there was one thing Artemis liked more than his own company, it was being at home with his dad.


 

Artemis Fowl: Just tell me when you’re leaving.
Artemis Fowl Sr.: The helicopter is being prepared for me right now, son. I’m sorry. I’ll be back as soon as I can.
Artemis Fowl: That’s what you said the last time, and the time before.
Artemis Fowl Sr.: I know, Arty. There’s just one very important thing I have to do. And I know it’s been hard, but, look, my work is coming to an end. And like the stories, you know, they all have an ending that just, well, it makes you smile. And this one will be no different. And when it ends, a new story will begin. And maybe, just maybe, it’ll be yours.


 

Artemis Fowl: I’m not a kid anymore, dad.
Artemis Fowl Sr.: Well, you used to believe in magic. You believed in the goblins, and you believed in the trolls. You believed in everything I told you about the Hill of Tara.
Artemis Fowl: All I really want is to believe in you.


 

[as he embraces Artemis]
Artemis Fowl Sr.: I love you, son. More than you could ever know.
Artemis Fowl: Then take me with you.
Artemis Fowl Sr.: You’re all I have now, Arty. Let me keep you safe for a little longer.


 

Artemis Fowl Sr.: And remember, until I see you again, may the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face. May the rain fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, may a friend be always near. Good night, son.
Artemis Fowl: Good night, dad.


 

Mulch Diggums: Domovoi Butler. Friend, mentor, bodyguard. Ten years of martial arts training in Kyoto. Seven years of weapons training in Moscow. Six years of strength training at Gold’s Gym in Venice, California. Oh, and under no circumstances were you to ever call him “The Butler”, even though his last name was in fact Butler. You could call him Dom, or Domovoi, or “very large man in a suit”. But call him “The Butler”, and he’d snap you in half.


 

[as Artemis watches the news where it’s revealed Artemis Sr. has gone missing]
News Reporter: And the remaining question. Artemis Fowl, antiquities dealer, or criminal mastermind?
Artemis Fowl: How dare they! He’s not a criminal! He’s my dad! He’s my dad!


 

[answers a call]
Artemis Fowl: Hello?
Opal Koboi: Artemis Jr. I presume. I have your father.
Artemis Fowl: What? Who is this? Is this a hoax? If you have my father, I want proof.
Opal Koboi: Then you shall have some.
Artemis Fowl: Dad? Dad?
[we see a captured Artemis Sr.]
Artemis Fowl Sr.: Artemis. Artemis. You listen to me, son, you stay out of this. Okay? Do you hear me? There’s no way you can help me. It’s too big. Everything I’ve told you is true. It’s all true!


 

Opal Koboi: Your father stole something from me and hid it. My enemies have prevented me from retrieving it myself. You will do so on my behalf. Find the Aculos, or you will never see him again!
Artemis Fowl Sr.: Artemis!
Artemis Fowl: What’s the Aculos?
Opal Koboi: You’re a clever boy. You’ll work it out. You have three days.


 

Domovoi Butler: You weren’t supposed to see this yet.
[shows Artemis a hidden library in the house]


 

[inside the hidden library]
Domovoi Butler: Your father would kill me if he knew we were here. I’m showing you because I have no choice.
Artemis Fowl: What is all this?
Domovoi Butler: This is where your father kept his entire life’s work. And his father, and his father before him. It’s not what it looks like, Artemis. Everything in this room was acquired for a specific reason. Sometimes to protect its secrets, sometimes to keep it from falling into the wrong hands. These are relics from another world.
Artemis Fowl: I don’t understand.


 

Domovoi Butler: I was never meant to share the details of your family business. These relics have been passed down through the generations. They’re secrets that your father had intended to share with you when the time was right.
Artemis Fowl: But the fairies are a myth. None of this is actually true.
Domovoi Butler: Look around you, Arty. Maybe those stories can help us find him.


 

[referring to the Artemi Sr.]
Domovoi Butler: The only thing he kept private was his journal.
Artemis Fowl: Then that’s what we have to find.
Domovoi Butler: I wouldn’t know where to begin to look. Could your father have ever given you a clue as to where to start?
Artemis Fowl: He never told me how to start, but he may have told me how to end.
Domovoi Butler: End?
Artemis Fowl: Yeah.


 

Artemis Fowl: He read the same poem to me every night before bed, and every time he left. “May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face. May the rains fall soft upon your fields.”
Domovoi Butler: Who wrote this poem, Arty?
Artemis Fowl: Nobody knows. That’s just it.
Domovoi Butler: Then how do you find it?
Artemis Fowl: It’s known as The Irish Blessing.


 

[after finding Artemis Sr.’s journal]
Domovoi Butler: Go to the last entry.
[reads from the journal]
Artemis Fowl: “She’s hunting me now, and would kill me to find it. She knows the truth of what Beechwood gave me before he died. They know we have the Aculos.”
Domovoi Butler: The voice on the phone told you to find it.
Artemis Fowl: “The Aculos cannot fall into the wrong hands. It had to be protected, even from the fairies themselves. Time to believe.” Time to believe in fairies? But they’re not real. Are they?


 

[referring to fairies]
Mulch Diggums: But as Artemis would soon find out, they are very real, and they’ve been living right under your feet for a thousand years. And their cities at the center of the Earth are not something out of a storybook. Oh, no. They are just as real as you. Diverse, and strange, and beautiful. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the wondrous, thriving metropolis that is Haven City, home of the fairies.


 

Mulch Diggums: See, this is my favorite part. Mainly because I’m in it.


 

Mulch Diggums: Keep an eye out, brothers. We dwarves got to watch each other’s backs, am I right? Lay low, I’ll get us out of here.
Dwarf Prisoner #1: You’re not a dwarf.
Mulch Diggums: No, I am. I’m a dwarf.
Dwarf Prisoner #2: No, you’re not.
Mulch Diggums: I am a giant dwarf.


 

Holly Short: What are you in for this time, Mulch?
Mulch Diggums: Ah, tunneling and entering. Put in a good word for me, will you? You know I’m an artist.
Holly Short: Yeah. A con artist.
Mulch Diggums: Art is art. Great artists are never understood.


 

Mulch Diggums: Hey, you and I would make a great team, you know? Me cracking safes, tunneling into banks, you watching my back with your tiny but effective fairy weapons.
Holly Short: That’s your plan?
Mulch Diggums: Less of a plan, more of a lifestyle choice. By the way, this your wallet?
Holly Short: Stop picking my pockets!
Mulch Diggums: Think of my children, Holly.
Holly Short: You don’t have children!
Mulch Diggums: Not yet.


 

Mulch Diggums: We’re the same, you know? Your last name is Short! My whole body is short!
Holly Short: You’re not short.
Dwarf Prisoner #2: I keep telling you that.
Mulch Diggums: That’s just discriminatory. I’ll write it off as ignorance because I love you!


 

Opal Koboi: You will infiltrate Fairy Command on my behalf.
Briar Cudgeon: I spy?
Opal Koboi: You spy or you die.


 

Commander Root: [to her army] Until the Aculos is safely returned, our entire civilization is at risk from the humans, or from enemies amongst our own kind. There is a dark force at work, and it will stop at nothing until it has the Aculos. So keep your eyes peeled. See it and report it. We must recover the Aculos and protect our anonymity. For the peace to remain, so must our secret existence. Preserve that at all costs. Jeopardize it, and I’ll have you incarcerated at Howler’s Peak.


 

Juliet: You’re not giving up, are you?
Artemis Fowl: Of course not. But I think I may know the problem. I’m not the one to find it.
Juliet: So, how do we summon this mysterious finder of Aculoses?
Artemis Fowl: The fairies, of course. They’ll help us.
Juliet: Will they?
Artemis Fowl: With a bit of persuasion.


 

Mulch Diggums: Foaly. Fairy tech genius and centaur. Do not ask him for a ride. I learned that the hard way.


 

Foaly: This is the quickest way we can take you to the surface, so pay attention. You’ll be sitting on two hundred thousand tons of molten lava, and traveling at over six hundred miles an hour. So, don’t get out until I give the all-clear. Otherwise, it’s goodbye, Holly. Rest in pieces.
Holly Short: No need to sound so excited about it.
Foaly: What can I say? I just love science.


 

[Artemis reads from his father’s diary]
Artemis Fowl Sr.: These are dangerous times. I’ve lost a friend, and soon, Artemis will begin to know the rumors about me and the thefts. Is he ready for the truth? That a darkness threatens both the human and the fairy worlds? When Beechwood came to me, I knew there was no choice. The Aculos was being targeted. In the wrong hands, it would mean access to the greatest spells in fairy lore. One could teleport armies, wipe out life. The wrong hands are now very close. They belong to a brilliant fairy. Perhaps the greatest of them all. But gone to the bad. Name, Opal Koboi.


 

[referring to Cudgeon]
Commander Root: Get the four-leaf clover out of here.

See more Artemis Fowl Quotes


 

[referring to Artemis]
Interrogator: You expect us to believe he did something this dangerous?
Mulch Diggums: He captured a living fairy. What do you think? Try to imagine if humans suddenly found out there was a world of magical creatures living beneath them. Most human beings are afraid of gluten. How do you think they’d handle goblins?


 

Mulch Diggums: Artemis wanted the Aculos to save his father’s life. And at last, his master plan was starting to fall into place. He had his first piece. Bait. But now, a storm was coming his way. And the fate of both of our worlds was in the hands of young Artemis Fowl.


 

Domovoi Butler: It’s like the whole world is ending.
Artemis Fowl: The fairies are doing it. They’re creating a Time Freeze.
Domovoi Butler: I beg your pardon?
Artemis Fowl: It’s a kind of temporal vacuum that they create so they can operate unseen by the human eye. I read about it in dad’s journal.
Domovoi Butler: It’s formidable.
Artemis Fowl: Einstein and Hawking were right. Time is bending all over. Anything could happen now. Anything’s possible.
Domovoi Butler: And while it holds, the perfect conditions for an attack.
Artemis Fowl: Exactly.


 

[as Root and her army arrive]
Domovoi Butler: Scared, Artemis?
Artemis Fowl: A little bit. But I prefer scared to dead, if possible.
Domovoi Butler: I agree. If possible.


 

Opal Koboi: [to Artemis Sr.] Well, it appears your clever little son has kidnapped a fairy. He has your flair for the dramatic.


 

Artemis Fowl Sr.: Why are you doing this?
Opal Koboi: Why? Oh, it’s very simple. Revenge. Not only did your people wage war on mine, considered yourself superior in every way, mocked us, reviled us, dismissed us as the little people, but as soon as we were gone, you reduced us further to silly stories. To have people laugh at us, or to frighten the children.


 

Artemis Fowl Sr.: You can’t win. You underestimate your people and mine.
Opal Koboi: Fairies and humans are incapable of friendship. Incapable of coexistence. With the Aculos, I will rise to the surface then release my army to take over the Earth and own both worlds, and systematically wipe out all of mankind. Then, I will restore fairies to their rightful place as humanity crumbles beneath us.


 

Opal Koboi: Some said I was mad. They wouldn’t listen to me. Guess what? They’re listening now.


 

Goblin Chief: Do you like fire too?
Mulch Diggums: No. No, not so much. That’s… So, you know, no dwarf really likes fire. Careful. Careful. We could all go up in flames.
Goblin Chief: Not us. Our skin is completely fireproof.
Mulch Diggums: That’s right, isn’t it? I forgot about that. Your skin may be fireproof, but what about your brain?


 

[after Artemis kidnaps Holly]
Holly Short: How are you expecting this to end?
Artemis Fowl: With me getting what I want.
Holly Short: Which is what, exactly?
Artemis Fowl: My father’s safe return.
Holly Short: This has nothing to do with your father!


 

Holly Short: Look at you with that grin. Thinking you’re outsmarting everyone in your little suit and sunglasses. You’re enjoying all this. You think it’s a game.
Artemis Fowl: Game? My father was kidnapped.
Holly Short: My father is dead.


 

Artemis Fowl: Can I trust you?
Holly Short: You’ll have to. You have no choice.


 

[referring to her father]
Artemis Fowl: I’ve read in my father’s journals about the Aculos. About a fairy who swore to protect it. A fairy named Beechwood.
Holly Short: Beechwood Short was my father. He knew how dangerous the Aculos can be. It can open portals between worlds. A skeleton key for the whole universe. He hid it. And for that, some say that he was a criminal.
Artemis Fowl: That’s what they say about my dad.
Holly Short: But you know it’s not true.


 

Mulch Diggums: [to Root] Has anyone ever told you you’re like David Bowie, if David Bowie were a fairy? So, essentially, you’re David Bowie. Do you think the humans will ever find out he was one of us?


 

Commander Root: I know what you want. I can’t give you that.
Mulch Diggums: Oh, come on, Root. Please. I just want to be small. I just want to be normal, like the rest of my kind. To be accepted. You fairies got magic coming out of your ears. What have I got? Three, four feet I don’t need.
Commander Root: Look, a giant dwarf is exactly what I need right now.


 

Mulch Diggums: [to Root] Listen to the two of us, grunting at each other like a pair of hippos with a throat infection.


 

Mulch Diggums: A criminal? A criminal. That’s what you think I am? I am so much more than a criminal. Um, technically, most of what I do is criminal activity, but I’m also an artist.
Commander Root: You’re picking my pocket.
Mulch Diggums: Okay. A hundred years off my sentence, and a single cell with no goblins.
Commander Root: Single cell and fifty-five years.
Mulch Diggums: Seventy-five.
Commander Root: Sixty.
Mulch Diggums: Seventy-four.
Commander Root: Done.


 

Foaly: Mulch, I’m switching your iris-cam to X-ray.
Mulch Diggums: That’s good. You do you, Foaly.
Foaly: You might feel a slight pinch.
Mulch Diggums: [winces] You son of a…
Foaly: Sorry!
Mulch Diggums: What would your parents be?


 

Artemis Fowl: Look, I need your help. Listen, if I let you out, will you promise not to take command of my brain?
Holly Short: I want nothing to do with that brain.


 

Artemis Fowl: You are my guest. I invited you in. The rules are clear.
Holly Short: They are. But you think you can trust me?
[punches Artemis in the face]
Holly Short: Now you can trust me.
Artemis Fowl: Fair enough.


 

Mulch Diggums: It’s real. It’s perfect.
Holly Short: The Aculos.
Artemis Fowl: The most powerful treasure in the fairy world.
[as Artemis goes to take it]
Holly Short: Don’t. It will kill you if you use it. If any human does.
Artemis Fowl: I don’t need to use it. Because my bargaining position just got a whole lot stronger. The fairies outside mustn’t get to hear that we have this.
Mulch Diggums: I’m sorry, human, but they already know.
[he reveals his iris-cam]


 

[as a troll outside the house about to attack them]
Artemis Fowl: I didn’t read much on trolls. Anything I should look out for?
Holly Short: The teeth.
Artemis Fowl: Good to know.


 

[after Holly uses her magic to revive Domovoi]
Domovoi Butler: I didn’t cry, did I?
Artemis Fowl: Little bit.


 

[referring to the Aculos]
Artemis Fowl: This holds a power no human can access. It’s their source of magic, as important to them as the sun is to us.
Domovoi Butler: You have to try.
Artemis Fowl: I thought I could, but I can’t! Holly said if any human uses it, they’ll die.
Juliet: We’re running out of time.
Domovoi Butler: Artemis, it’s too dangerous.
Artemis Fowl: Exactly! It’s useless in my hands.
Holly Short: But not in mine.


 

Artemis Fowl: You’re late.
Holly Short: You know I’m breaking every rule in the book.
Artemis Fowl: You like to break rules.
Holly Short: You can talk.
Artemis Fowl: Let’s make a trade. The Aculos for my father.


 

Holly Short: How do I know I can trust you?
Artemis Fowl: My father used to say, “A friend’s eye is a good mirror.”
Holly Short: Are we friends, Artemis Fowl?
Artemis Fowl: We are. Forever friends.
[they shake hands]


 

Artemis Fowl Sr.: How did you save me, son?
Artemis Fowl: I just followed the story. With a little help from a friend.


 

Commander Root: The Aculos is safe at last, now that we know our enemies, thanks to you, Holly. Quite the day.
Holly Short: Yes, Commander.
Commander Root: Curb that maverick streak in you, and you’ll make a decent officer someday.
Holly Short: Thank you, Commander.
Commander Root: This place needs fairies like you. Our world has never been so much in danger. It’s not perfect, Holly. But it’s ours. It’s a light to guide us, and it’s worth fighting for.


 

Artemis Fowl Sr.: It would appear we’ve garnered quite a bit of interest. Not ideal.
Artemis Fowl: The media? I have someone working on that right now.
Artemis Fowl Sr.: Oh, I expected you would. These are for you, son. Just don’t forget to wash it before you bring it back, okay?
[hands Artemis the keys]
Artemis Fowl: Where are we going?
Artemis Fowl Sr.: To finish this.
Artemis Fowl: You think I’m ready?
Artemis Fowl Sr.: Oh, I know you’re ready.


 

Artemis Fowl: You failed, Opal. You were wrong about my father. About Beechwood. About everything. And now, we’re coming for you.
Opal Koboi: You think you can beat me? You have no idea the world that you have just entered, boy. Just who do you think you are?
Artemis Fowl: I’m Artemis Fowl, and I’m a criminal mastermind.


 

Interrogator: [to Mulch] What an extraordinary ending to your remarkable fairy tale.


 

Interrogator: So, let us offer you a deal. Help us apprehend Artemis Fowl, Sr., and then you’ll walk.
Mulch Diggums: Or perhaps I offer you a deal? I walk out on my own, and you leave the Fowls alone forever.
Interrogator: And why would we ever do that?
Mulch Diggums: So that you can all sleep at night, knowing that the fairy tales you tell your kids remain beautiful dreams, and not living nightmares. And the next time you see the Fowls, be sure to thank them for protecting us all. They keep the peace. Don’t ever forget it. That’s why Artemis set up my arrest. That’s why I’m here. He figured you’d have to believe me.
[he pushes his hair back to reveal his ears]


 

Mulch Diggums: Clap your hands if you believe in fairies.


 

[as Artemis is rescuing Mulch]
Interrogator: Get back here, you filthy little dwarf!
Mulch Diggums: Dwarfus Giaganticus!


 

[last lines; after Artemis rescues Mulch with the helicopter]
Artemis Fowl: Are you ready to get back to work?
Mulch Diggums: I thought you’d never ask!
Artemis Fowl: We have some unfinished business.
Mulch Diggums: I love my job!
Artemis Fowl Sr.: Okay. Let’s go.
[they are then joined by Holly as they fly off to their next mission]


 

What do you think of Artemis Fowl quotes? Let us know what you think in the comments below as we’d love to know.

 

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