Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach, Ilfenesh Hadera, Jon Bass, Priyanka Chopra, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, David Hasselhoff, Pamela Anderson
OUR RATING: ★★☆☆☆
Story: Action comedy directed by Seth Gordon, based on the television series of the same name which follows devoted lifeguard, Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson), as he butts heads with a brash new recruit, Matt Brody (Zac Efron). Together, they uncover a local criminal plot that threatens the future of the Bay.
Verdict: This is pretty much a run-of-the-mill action-comedy that may have just tried too hard to wanting to be the next 21 Jump Street movie. The plot is far-fetched and pretty cheesy and even the usually charismatic Dwayne Johnson can’t save this movie, although I have to say the chemistry between Johnson and Zac Efron was the best part of the movie and not all the humor of the movie was a misfire, there were some moments when the comedy was passable. If you probably go into this not expecting much you might actually be entertained by it and be more forgiving of its faults.REVIEWS
Best Quotes (Total Quotes: 42)
Mitch Buchannon: Welcome to Baywatch. Our team is the elite of the elite. We’re the heart and soul of this very beach. We protect when other people don’t want to protect, and we go above and beyond.
Mitch Buchannon: Our team is the heart and soul of this very beach. Protect the bay at all costs.
[referring to the sand statue that Pete is making of Mitch]
Mitch Buchannon: Come on, Pete. Make my pants a little bigger, and don’t cover up my front bump.
Pete: You got it. Huge dick.
Mitch Buchannon: Big dick.
[as Mitch is rescuing a woman from a fire on a boat]
Woman: If you want me, you can have me. But rapido because the boat is on fire.
Mitch Buchannon: Some other time.
[he throws her overboard]
Matt Brody: I’m Matt Brody. I hold the world record in the two hundred meter. Two gold medals.
Mitch Buchannon: Hey!
Stephanie Holden: Matt Brody.
Mitch Buchannon: Matt Brody. Yes, yes. Absolutely. And we still don’t give a fuck.
Mitch and Stephanie: Don’t give a fuck.
Mitch Buchannon: No, fresh out. Fresh out of fucks.
Matt Brody: Hey, I’m Matt Brody.
Summer Quinn: And not a single fuck was given.
Captain Thorpe: [to Mitch] We’re staring into the abyss here, the city council’s already cut our funding again. What the council wants and what the bay needs are two different things.
Summer Quinn: Did you just, uh, look at my boobs?
Matt Brody: I… was not my intention. I didn’t, uh, stare directly at them.
Summer Quinn: You’re looking at them right now.
Matt Brody: Now I did, because you’re talking about them.
C.J. Parker: What is it that you think we do here?
Matt Brody: Prevent people from getting sun burnt and occasionally stop them from drowning.
Victoria Leeds: Everyone on the beach is talking about you guys.
Mitch Buchannon: This is Victoria Leeds, the new owner of the Hunger Club.
Victoria Leeds: I know that the club’s probably not your scene, but you have a standing invitation.
Mitch Buchannon: Cody!
Matt Brody: What?
[Mitch does a hand signal indicating how he needs Matt to help]
Matt Brody: I don’t know what this mean!
[swimming towards a woman who is screaming for help]
Woman: Help me!
Matt Brody: Ma’am, everything’s okay.
[as he gets close to the woman she punches him]
Matt Brody: Stop it! I can’t save you if you’re being a dick!
[she punches him again]
Mitch Buchannon:This is the guy you think is a good PR opportunity for us. He’s reckless.
Captain Thorpe: With two gold medals. How many gold medals do you have? Probably zero.
Mitch Buchannon: This guy is a trainwreck.
Captain Thorpe: He’s one of the best swimmers in the world. It’s like a human fucked a jetski, which is impossible but it’d be so cool.
Matt Brody: Look, I get it. You’re big, sasquatch. I’m fast.
[Mitch suddenly grunts at Matt, Matt yelps and takes a step back in fear]
Matt Brody: Shit.
Mitch Buchannon: I didn’t touch you.
Matt Brody: You suck.
[losing balance Matt falls back into the pool behind him]
Victoria Leeds: [to Mitch] Some people are up to no good.
Mitch Buchannon: We got a dead body on our beach.
Matt Brody: That’s not our job.
Mitch Buchannon: We’re going to have to do what Baywatch does best. The truth is one of you will probably die.
Ronnie: Yeah. What? No.
Matt Brody: Am I the only who thinks this is clearly a job for the police?
Mitch Buchannon: [to Matt] There’s your cut. Don’t jackoff on my sheets. Just remember, I’m always watching.
[to Matt and Mitch]
Sgt. Ellerbee: Thank you, blue eyed demon. You got one job, make sure swimming happy white people don’t drown.
[referring to Victoria]
Mitch Buchannon: Drugs, murder, dead body on our beach and it all started once she took over.
Total Quotes: 42