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Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Nathan Lane, Amy Ryan, Stephen McKinley Henderson, Zoe Lister-Jones, Armen Nahapetian, Parker Posey, Patti LuPone, Kylie Rogers, Hayley Squires, Michael Gandolfini
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Story:
A24 surrealist horror comedy written and directed by Ari Aster. Set in an alternate present, Beau Is Afraid (2023) centers on Beau (Joaquin Phoenix), an extremely anxious and paranoid man who embarks on an epic odyssey to get home to his mother.
Best Quotes
Beau Wassermann: I accidentally drank mouthwash Friday night. You can’t get stomach cancer that way.
Therapist: Not from one time.
Beau Wassermann: I drank a mouthful a couple weeks ago too.
Therapist: I’m sure it’s fine.
Therapist: [to Beau] Do you feel like you’re going with realistic expectations? If the last time you were thirsty, you went to a well, and the water made you sick, are you going to go back to that specific well, expecting it to be safe?
Therapist: [referring to Mona] Do you ever wish that she was dead?
Beau Wassermann: What? Of course not!
Therapist: Well, it wouldn’t be so crazy if you did. We can sort of want these things, and also not want them at all. Those feelings can coexist. We’re here so we can air those kinds of thoughts.
Therapist: How’s the Hydrotipnol? Still making the eyes itchy?
Beau Wassermann: Only if I don’t keep blinking.
Mona Wassermann: [as Beau listens to her message] Hi, carrot. It’s Mom. I’m just calling to say that I’m so, so, so excited to see you tomorrow. You’re my angel, and I love you. Okay. I love you. Okay. Bye, sweetie. I love you.
Beau Wassermann: Excuse me, sir? My bag and my key were just here.
Superintendent: You’re f***ed, pal.
Beau Wassermann: Hey, wait a minute. Why would you say that?
Mona Wassermann: Your keys are stolen. That’s terrible.
Beau Wassermann: They were stolen.
Mona Wassermann: Then we’ll just do another visit another time. I can even come to you, so it’s not such a pain.
Beau Wassermann: It’s not a pain. It’s never a pain.
Beau Wassermann: What do you think I should do?
Mona Wassermann: I’m sure you’ll do the right thing, sweetheart.
Beau Wassermann: What is the right thing? What would be the right thing for you?
Mona Wassermann: [voicemail] Hi, you’ve reached Mona! Leave me a message if you ever want to speak to me again.
'Only women know women. That's the truth. Men are blind. That's not a criticism. That's their charm.' - Young Mona (Beau Is Afraid) Click To Tweet
UPS Guy: Listen, I don’t know what this is. I have a package, and I only came in because of the smell, and the dogs on the block were all going crazy, and the door was open, so I just barely came inside, but there’s a lady on the floor. Well, the body of a lady, and there’s no face or head.
Beau Wassermann: What do you mean there’s no face or head, for who?
UPS Guy: I mean, I’m sure there is. I’m sure it’s here. I’m sure it’s everywhere.
A chandelier fell on top of it. And it looks like it dropped off the ceiling and it fell on a woman. And it smashed her head, it’s like it evaporated.
UPS Guy: You’re saying that this could be your mom?
Beau Wassermann: What? I didn’t say that! Why are you saying that?
UPS Guy: No, you said that to me!
UPS Guy: [to Beau] Maybe this is all a big misunderstanding.
Beau Wassermann: [as Beau becomes conscious] Did I get hit with a car?
Grace: There was an accident, yes. Oh, goodness. I hit you with my car.
'Nothing in life is more important than choosing the right companion.' - Young Mona (Beau Is Afraid) Click To Tweet
Beau Wassermann: Am I dead?
Grace: No. No. You’ve been healing so quickly. And no organs were hit, and your bleeding, really mild.
Beau Wassermann: What room is this?
Grace: This is a room in our house. But it’s your home for as long as you need.
Beau Wassermann: What is this?
Roger: That’s my little assistant health monitor. Keeps track of your condition.
Beau Wassermann: Is my mommy dead?
Grace: What was your dream, sweetie?
Beau Wassermann: Her head just gone.
Grace: Her what?
Beau Wassermann: Her head.
Grace: Oh, no, no. That’s a dream. That was a dream.
Roger: By the way, Beau, not for the dinner table, but I noticed when you first came in, your testicles are significantly distended. Looks like a bad case of epididymitis.
Grace: Let him eat, Roger.
Roger: But we should get an ultrasound just to be safe.
'When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions.' - Lloyd (Beau Is Afraid) Click To Tweet
Roger: [to Beau] Toni’s happy to give you her room.
Toni: Yeah, no. It’s not like we have a totally empty room available, completely unused.
Beau Wassermann: Is it true?
Dr. Cohen: [referring to Mona] Is what true? That she was discovered with a collapsed head in her living room? That you were the first person notified, and it’s taken three days for anyone to hear from you? Yes, Beau. It’s true.
Dr. Cohen: A body is to be buried immediately, Beau. “It shall not remain all night.” Does that ring a bell? Do you understand anything?
Beau Wassermann: I just woke up. I got hit by a car. And I got stabbed.
Dr. Cohen: It was your mother’s unfortunate wish that she not be buried without you present. So, we are waiting, Beau. And every minute more that we wait only deepens the humiliation. Your mother’s body is being watched at all hours. There is no rest for her. There has been no rest for the people that love her. You need to be here Beau, dressed in a suit, with a eulogy. You need to stop the humiliation. It’s all that’s being asked of you. We’ll keep an eye out for Your Highness’s royal carriage.
Roger: [to Beau] You can’t fly with your wounds. The air pressure will rip you wide open.
'Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.' - Lloyd (Beau Is Afraid) Click To Tweet
Beau Wassermann: Wait. Don’t you need to stitch me up?
Roger: Ah, it’s fine. Just cut back on the jumping jacks, you know what I mean?
Beau Wassermann: [to Toni] I’m sorry I was on your computer. I threw up. I’ll clean it up. I’ll clean up. I’ll clean up better than before.
Toni: I’m taking you home.
Beau Wassermann: What about Roger taking me?
Toni: Who the f*** do you think told me to take you?!
Liz: Aren’t you a little old to be getting adopted?
Beau Wassermann: I’m not adopted.
Liz: Yeah, you are.
'She will see your fears, and your pain, and your dreams, and your potential, and you will see hers. In finding your other half, the gifts of your life will multiply.' - Angel (Beau Is Afraid) Click To Tweet
Toni: [to Beau] If you don’t do it right now, I’m going to make her pull my hair so hard that it detaches my scalp, and she’ll say that you did it.
Teen Beau: Are you here with your mother?
Teen Elaine: Yeah. She got me, and my dad got our rich whore neighbor, who he’s probably f***ing right now, on a pile of her slut money in Aruba.
Young Mona: [referring to Elaine] Is that the type of girl you’re attracted to?
Teen Beau: No.
Young Mona: Because I’ve noticed you noticing certain types. It’s okay if you are. You don’t have to feel embarrassed.
Teen Beau: I’m not.
'You should not be crying for your misfortunes, for your own sins. You also have been searched for, but you're so lost in your own selfishness that no one could ever find you.' - Angel (Beau Is Afraid) Click To Tweet
Young Mona: [to Beau] You could ask my advice, you know? Only women know women. That’s the truth. Men are blind. That’s not a criticism. That’s their charm. Don’t be defensive. I’m proud of the man you are.
Young Mona: [referring to Elaine] A girl like that, confident, self-possessed. A man would have to match her. But you could. She should be so lucky. Any woman would be so lucky. You just have to commit completely. Nothing in life is more important than choosing the right companion.
Teen Elaine: What about eclairs?
Teen Beau: People hide razors in them.
Teen Elaine: What about rainbow cake?
Teen Beau: The colors make cancer.
Teen Elaine: What about liquid s**t?
Trailer: