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Home / Best Quotes / Bill & Ted 3 Face the Music Best Quotes – ‘Be excellent to each other.’

Bill & Ted 3 Face the Music Best Quotes – ‘Be excellent to each other.’

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Starring: Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, William Sadler, Samara Weaving, Brigette Lundy-Paine, Kid Cudi, Hal Landon Jr., Holland Taylor, Jillian Bell, Kristen Schaal, Anthony Carrigan, Erinn Hayes

OUR RATING: ★★★½

Story:

Comedy sci-fi sequel directed by Dean Parisot. The story centers on Bill S. Preston (Alex Winter) and Ted ‘Theodore’ Logan (Keanu Reeves), who are now fathers and have yet to fulfill their rock ‘n’ roll destinies. However, when a visitor from the future tells them that only their song can save life as we know it, their lives changes as they work with their families, old friends,  and famous musicians to complete the task.

 

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Our Favorite Quote:

'Sometimes things don't make sense until the end of the story.' (Bill & Ted Face the Music) Click To Tweet

 

Best Quotes


 

Billie: This is the story of our most excellent dads.
Bill: I’m Bill S. Preston, Esquire.
Ted: And I’m Ted “Theodore” Logan.
Bill, Ted: And we’re Wyld Stallyns!


 

Billie: Not long before we were born, they were told they were going to write a song that was going to unite the entire world.
Thea: Which they thought they had done with their hit single, Those Who Rock.
Billie: Not only did it not unite the world, but the band fell apart. And our dads, alone now, were trying harder and harder.
Thea: But the problem was, the harder Dads tried…
Billie: The less interested people seemed to be in their music.


 

Billie: The universe they were told they were going to bring together…
Thea: Was actually starting to unravel.
Billie: Yeah, time was folding in on itself. It was bad.
Thea: Totally, dude?
Billie: Anyways, this is how we got to where we are now.


 

[Bill and Ted are about to perform at Ted’s brother’s  wedding]
Bill: Ted and I have known Missy in different capacities for many decades. First, she was our babysitter when we were ten.
Ted: Then we both invited her to the prom when she was a senior and we were freshmen.
Bill: Yeah. Two years later, she married my dad and Missy became Mom.
Ted: After divorcing Bill’s dad, she married my dad and became my mom.
Bill: Yeah. And now she’s marrying Ted’s little brother, Officer Deacon Logan.


 

Bill: This happy event would seem to make Deacon his own father-in-law, and Ted his own uncle.
Ted: Not to mention making my dad his own son.
Bill: And with that beautiful thought in mind, for your first dance, we wish to present you
with a matrimonial offering. A sneak peek at the world premiere of our newest sonic creation.
Ted: We’re not sure if this is going to be the song that unites the world.
Bill: We’re pretty sure it might.
Ted: At least we hope.


 

Missy: Let’s dance, Freaky Deaky.
[they kiss]
Deacon: You got it, Kissy Missy.
Missy: Oh, shh. Your dad used to call me that.
Deacon: Totally aware of that, babe.


 

[introducing their song]
Ted: Please enjoy the first three movements of…
Bill, Ted: That Which Binds Us Through Time. The Chemical, Physical, and Biological Nature of Love. An Exploration of the Meaning of Meaning.
Bill: Part One.


 

[after their disastrous wedding performance]
Bill: Chief Logan, the people in the future told us…
Chief Logan: Bill, Bill, Bill, you didn’t time travel.
Ted: We did.
Chief Logan: Your wives aren’t from medieval England.
Bill: They are.
Chief Logan: And you didn’t go to Heaven and Hell.
Bill: We did!
Chief Logan: You didn’t!
Bill: We did!
Chief Logan: And you know why? Because it’s impossible.


 

Chief Logan: Here’s a real idea for you two.
Bill: Here it comes, dude.
Chief Logan: Get real jobs. Be role models to your daughters. Oh, never mind. You are. They’re twenty-four. They live at home, and they’re unemployed. You remember when you used to call them Little Bill, Little Ted?
Billie: We thought it was cute, Gramps.
Chief Logan: Yeah. Well, it turned out to be a curse. All I ever see them do is sit around, listen to music.
Thea: That is our primary activity, definitely.


 

Dr. Taylor Wood: So, do you understand why this situation might seem at all strange to your wives?
[we see Bill and Ted sat with their both their wives all together]
Ted: No. Not at all. Why?
Dr. Taylor Wood: Well, when your wives suggested couples therapy, do you think that this is what they had in mind?
Bill: Well, definitely. I mean, we’re a couple of couples, right?
Dr. Taylor Wood: That is true.


 

Dr. Taylor Wood: Ted, is there something you feel your wife needs to hear from you?
Ted: Yeah. Totally. We love you guys.
Bill: Ah, that is good, dude.
Dr. Taylor Wood: In a way, yes. I mean, it is great to feel loved. But do you understand how that might sound strange to your wives? I’ll shoot this at Bill.
Bill: No. I mean, we love them.
Dr. Taylor Wood: Oh. “We love them.”


 

Dr. Taylor Wood: Ted, can you say the same thing, but instead of “we”, say “I” in the sentence.
Ted: Oh. Yeah.
Dr. Taylor Wood: Okay.
Ted: Of course.
Dr. Taylor Wood: Okay.
Ted: Elizabeth?
Elizabeth: Yes.
Ted: I and Bill love you and Joanna.


 

Bill: Dude, with all due respect, I don’t think you’re quite getting this.
Ted: Go for it, dude.
Bill: Okay. I’m going to do one.
Ted: Yes. Go for it, dude.
Bill: Okay. Joanna?
Joanna: Mm-hmm?
Bill: From the very, very bottom of I and Ted’s hearts, I and Ted totally love and worship you, and Elizabeth.


 

[after the therapy session with their wives]
Bill: We have to fix this.
Ted: The thing is, they’re right, Bill. They’re princesses.
Bill: Yeah. We pulled them out of their lives to be here with us.
Ted: And they didn’t come all this way for this.
Bill: That’s why we got to keep working, dude.
Ted: But isn’t that the problem?
Bill: Yeah. But it’s also the solution.
Ted: Yeah. I guess.


 

Ted: Liz is right. We have been banging our heads against a wall for twenty-five years. And I’m tired, dude.
Bill: Ted. We have a destiny to fulfill.


 

[as Ted is thinking of quitting]
Bill: And think about our fans, dude.
Ted: Bob and Wendy will totally understand. Eileen we haven’t heard from for several years.


 

Kelly: Greetings, my excellent friends.
Ted: Do we know you?
Kelly: I’m Kelly.
Bill: Wait. You’re Rufus’ daughter!
Kelly: I am. And I’ve been wanting to meet you my whole life.
Ted: It must be very disappointing.
Kelly: Not at all.


 

[as Kelly is about to take them to the future]
Ted: Dude, I got a very bad feeling about this.
Bill: It’ll be fine, Ted. They totally love us in the future, dude.


 

[after they see Kelly take their dads to the future]
Thea: Dude, our dads are totally in trouble.
Billie: I feel so bad for them. They’ve been doing this on their own for the longest time.
Thea: Yeah, I wish there was some way we could help them out, you know?
Billie: Yeah. But how?


 

[as they arrive in 2720 AD]
Ted: Dude.
Bill: Yeah?
Ted: The future.
Bill: Yeah.


 

The Great Leader: Bill and Ted. Step forward.
Bill: How’s it going, Great Ones? It’s good to be back.


 

The Great Leader: What have you got to say for yourselves?
Bill: Be excellent to each other.
Ted: And party on, dudes.


 

The Great Leader: Twenty-five years ago, Wyld Stallyns played a concert at the Grand Canyon.
Bill: That’s true.
The Great Leader: One month ago, you played the Elks Lodge in Barstow, California, for forty people, most of whom were there only because it was two dollar taco night, whatever the hell that means.
Bill, Ted: Well, yeah. We did!
The Great Leader: You were supposed to unite the world in song.


 

The Great Leader: At a concert performed by everyone in the band at 7:17 PM, at MP 46, that’s tonight, will save reality as we know it, uniting humanity across all time.
Ted: Wait. I’m sorry. What?
Bill: Did you say, “Reality as we know it”?
The Great Leader: Yes!
Bill, Ted: Oh.


 

Ted: Dude, they totally hate us.
Bill: And I’ve never even heard of MP 46.


 

Kelly: My father believed that the song could be the nexus point that brings humanity into rhythm and harmony.
Bill: How?
Kelly: We only discovered this recently, but without it, reality will collapse, and time and space will cease to exist.
Ted: So until 7:17 PM?
Kelly: Anything is possible.
Bill: And after 7:17 PM?
Kelly: Without the song, there is no after 7:17 PM.


 

[reading the inscription on Rufus’s watch]
Ted: “Sometimes things don’t make sense…”
Bill: “…until the end of the story.”
Kelly: That’s what my dad always said.


 

Bill: Now alls we got to do is write the greatest song ever written.
Ted: That brings the entire world into rhythm and harmony.
Bill: And saves reality as we know it.
Ted: All through time.


 

Ted: Dude, we’ve spent our whole life trying to write the song that will unite the world. What makes us think we can write it in like seventy-five minutes?
Bill: Ted, we had to have written that song. The people in the future told us we did.
Ted: Yeah. I guess.
Bill: Which means we have it in us, dude.


 

Bill: Maybe we just haven’t written it yet. Maybe we’re still going to.
Ted: Well, if we haven’t written it yet, but we know we’re going to at some point, why can’t we just go to the future when we have written it?
Bill: And take it from ourselves!
Ted: Yeah!


 

Bill: Ted, you have had many counterintuitive ideas over the years, but this is by far the counterintuitivest of them all, dude!
Ted: Except, won’t that be stealing?
Bill: How is that stealing, if we’re stealing it from ourselves, dude?


 

[as they are about to time travel to steal the song from themselves]
Ted: Bill, my friend.
Bill: Yes, Ted, my friend?
Ted: I have a feeling things are about to change in a most outstanding way.
Bill: I could not agree more.


 

Bill from 2022: Oh, hello!
Ted from 2022: We totally forgot you were coming. How great to see you.
Ted: What are you talking about? You totally ran away from us.


 

Bill from 2022: Look, guys, we know exactly what you’re thinking. Why would we be playing Open Mic Night at 6:15 PM when, in fact, we have become such huge rock stars again?
Bill: Yeah.
Ted from 2022: Here’s the answer. Us being here is humorously ironic. Do you believe us?
Ted: No.
Bill: Not at all.
Ted from 2022: Well, I feel sorry for you, then.


 

Ted from 2022: Why don’t you go write it yourselves instead of trying to steal it from us?
Ted: You’re the one who couldn’t write it, Ted.
Ted from 2022: Well, you’re the one who lost his wife, Ted!
Bill, Ted: What?!


 

Bill from 2022: After you failed couples therapy, Liz and Jo were visited by other thems from the future, who gave them a phone booth, and sent them all through time and space, looking for just one life where they could be happy with you!
Ted from 2022: And guess what?
Bill , Ted from 2022: They didn’t find one!
Bill from 2022: And now we’ve been alone for two years because you sent our wives away.


 

Ted: Our wives have been gone for two years, and you didn’t do anything about it?
Bill from 2022: Oh, you did, alright. You went back and you made it worse!
Ted from 2022: And guess what else? Your daughters won’t even talk to you.


 

Ted: You’re a d**k, Ted.
Ted from 2022: You want a piece of me, Ted?
Bill from 2022: Ted, he’s not worth it!


 

Ted from 2022: Losers! Has-beens!
Bill: Whatever!
Bill from 2022: Stop fighting with yourself!
Ted from 2022: Flashes in the pans!
Bill from 2022: Stop fighting with yourself!


 

[after their disasterous encounter with themselves from 2022]
Ted: That did not go well.
Bill: Yeah. And your you is a very contentious d**kweed.

See more Bill & Ted Face the Music Quotes


 

The Great Leader: Many on the council believe that it is, in fact, the death of Bill and Ted that will bring the new epoch.
Kelly: Well, I disagree with that completely! That’s atrocious!
The Great Leader: Well, maybe someday when you’re The Great Leader, you can make the decisions that will affect all time and space!
Kelly: You could just say “Leader”. It’s so pretentious.


 

Kelly: Listen, you didn’t see a scary looking robot from the future, did you?
Billie: What? No!
Kelly: My mom, who overreacts about everything, just sent one.


 

[as Bill and Ted go back to the therapy session to let their wives know they will be leaving them]
Bill: Yeah. And you have real good reason to, Jo.
Ted: Because we seriously appear to be living in our van.
Bill: Oh, dude, we are totally living in that van.


 

Ted: And I’m drinking way too much.
Elizabeth: Darling, you don’t even drink.
Ted: Not yet. But I’m going to. A lot.
Bill: Yeah. And the lying.
Ted: You cannot believe what liars we are.
Bill: Yeah. Desperate, pathetic, lying losers.


 

[to Elizabeth and Joanna]
Ted: That’s totally why we’re here.
Bill: Yeah. To prove that we’re not the losers we just saw we were.
Ted: Even though those loser us’s tried to tell us not to come and talk to you.
Bill: Yeah. Like we were somehow going to make it worse.
[starts laughing]
Ted: But we’re not making it worse, right? Elizabeth? Joanna? Dr. Wood?
Dr. Taylor Wood: Huh?
Ted: Dude, we totally made it worse.


 

Ted: Oh, one last thing.
Bill: Yeah. Older yous from the future are just about to show up to take you on a trip in search of a happy life with us.
Ted: Don’t go. Because you’re not going to find one.
Bill: Yeah, but you’re going to go.
Elizabeth: So, don’t go.
Joanna: So, go?
Ted: No. I guess, go.


 

[Billie and Thea time travel to 1967]
Thea: We’re here for our dads to help them unite the world.
Billie: Like, no exaggeration, literally unite the world.
Thea: By putting together a killer band for them, and we had to start with you, dude.
Billie: So, question, how would you like to be a key part of this epochal song?
Jimi Hendrix: No.


 

[after Bill and Ted time travel to 2025 and find themselves living in a mansion]
Ted: So, why do you both have English accents?
Bill from 2025: Ah. Funny story. Please.
Ted from 2025: Once Bill and I were knighted, things got so good with Liz and Jo that we decided, as families, to start summering in medieval England.
Bill from 2025: And I suppose it just bloody well rubbed off!
Ted from 2025: And I can’t say how chuffed we are about it.


 

[referring to themselves from 2025]
Ted: I must say, as much as I disliked those previous us’s, I like these us’s.
Bill: Yeah. I didn’t have a big problem with that other me, but I do like this other me even more.


 

[as they are walking away Bill and Ted from 2025]
Bill: Ted, why were you acting so weird with yourself, dude?
Ted: I don’t know. I always seem to act weird with myself.
Bill: Yeah, you do! You got to get over that, dude. We got the song!


 

Bill: You guys totally lied to us!
Bill from 2025: Why haven’t you taken the song back to San Dimas?
Ted: Maybe because it’s not our song!
Ted from 2025: Poppycock!
Bill: It’s Dave Grohl’s!
Ted: And he’s outside right now calling the cops.
Bill from 2025: Ted, I told you Dave Grohl came back this week.
Ted from 2025: Totally thought he came back next week.


 

Bill: What were you guys even thinking?
Bill from 2025: Just because you two couldn’t come up with a great song.
Ted from 2025: And Dave Grohl did!
Bill from 2025: Doesn’t mean we should be punished for that.


 

[after the cops arrive at Dave Grohl’s mansion]
Chief Logan: This ends now! The lies, the delusions. I’m done with him. I’m done with both of them!
Deacon: You’re not going to kill Ted, dad.
Chief Logan: He broke into Dave Grohl’s house!
Deacon: Dad, slow down. We don’t have the whole story yet.


 

Bill, Ted from 2025: Can’t get away from us, Bill and Ted.
Bill: Ted, they’re right. They’re us. They remember everything we’re going to do!
Ted: That means we got to do something we can’t possibly remember.
Ted from 2025: Shoot them.
[older Bill shoots at them as they run off]


 

[after they put buckets on their heads to get away from their future selves]
Bill: Ted, that totally worked!
Ted: Yeah. Maybe we should always not know what we’re doing.


 

Thea: Mr. Jimi Hendrix, meet Mr. Louis Armstrong.
Louis Armstrong: That lick you played was the cat’s meow, man. It’s blues, but also… What’s the word you used, young ladies?
Billie, Thea: Psychedelic.
Louis Armstrong: Psychedelic. Exactly.


 

[as they time travel to 1872]
Louis Armstrong: So, what you’re all saying is that you love a song that I wrote in my future?
Jimi Hendrix: Which is in your past.
Louis Armstrong: But we’re all here in this present.
Jimi Hendrix: Which is actually the past?
Billie: Exactly, gentlemen.


 

Ted: Dude, the future totally sent a killer robot after us.
Bill: That’s why we got to find the song, dude.


 

[to Bill and Ted from 2030, who are now in prison]
Bill, Ted: How’s it going, Bill and Ted?
Bill from 2030: How did you like our song?
Bill: Is that a song?
Bill from 2030: Yes!
Ted: It’s a little on the dark side. But, you know, that’s cool.


 

Ted: Why are you guys in prison?
Bill from 2030: Oh, maybe because you guys left us to take the fall five years ago.
Bill: Ah. That’s funny, because for us it’s only like five minutes ago.


 

Bill from 2030: We’ve been waiting for years to make things right.
Ted from 2030: But everything’s going to be different. Because unlike those last us’s, we actually have a song.
Ted: Is it a song?
Bill, Ted from 2030: Yes!


 

Bill: Bill, Ted, seriously, we can’t take that song back.
Bill from 2030: Oh, you’re not taking it back, Curly. We’re taking it back!
Ted from 2030: You’re going to stay here and rot, and we’re going to go get lives, and our wives back!
Bill from 2030: And unite the world!
Ted from 2030: And save reality!


 

[referring to themselves from 2030]
Ted: That was horrible, dude.
Bill: Those are the worst us’s yet, dude!


 

[as Bill and Ted from 2030 are beating up future robot, Dennis]
Dennis Caleb McCoy: Most non-triumphant.
The Great Leader: Pull yourself together. You’re a robot!


 

[as they tim travel to China 2600 BCE]
Billie: The myth of Ling Lun turns out to be true, T.
Thea: I know. And she’s a she.


 

[as he listens to Ling Lu play his song on her flute]
Mozart: Oh, this is here fantastic.


 

Kelly: Well, I’m trying to save the world too, Mother. It’s not like your generation’s done that great.


 

Kelly: Well, the Sahara Desert just showed up in San Dimas, Mother. Queen Elizabeth is looking right at it.


 

Kid Cudi: So, this is some kind of error in our holographic dual field? Or is it a Wilsonian loop causing a temporal singularity?
Billie: Well, seems to me your classical tautological causal circuit.
Kid Cudi: I don’t know. Seems like textbook entanglement to me.
Thea: I must say, your understanding of our dire circumstance is most impressive.
Billie: You should put it to good use and help us save reality.
Thea: Yeah!
Kelly: That’s great. Because it is the end of space and time.


 

Billie: Mr. Armstrong, Mr. Hendrix, Herr Mozart, Miss Grom, Miss Ling Lun, and Mr. Cudi, we’re going to take you into our dads studio and start practicing.
Thea: So that when our dads get back here with the song that will unite the world, you guys can play it for them.
Billi, Thea: Sound good?


 

[as the future robot zaps them to Hell]
Billie: Our sincerest apologies that we’re here, great musicians. We just wanted to help our dads.
Thea: Which we clearly utterly failed at.


 

[as Bill and Ted travel to 2067 to find their older selves in a retirement home]
Bill: Are Jo and Liz here?
Ted from 2067: Yes.
Bill from 2067: And no.
Ted: What did you mean “yes and no”?
Ted from 2067: There are infinite pasts. Each is entangled with infinite futures.
Bill: So what are you saying?
Bill from 2067: Where you end up all depends on what happens with this.
[he holds up a USB Flash Drive]
Bill: Is that…
Bill from 2067: It’s the answer to everything. It’s called…
Bill, Ted from 2067: Face The Music.


 

[after they give the music to Bill and Ted]
Ted from 2067: It’s in your hands now. Go make it happen.
Ted: Thank you, wise old us’s.


 

Bill: [to his older self] I just want to say thank you, Bill, for all the times you’ve been there for me.
Ted: I feel like I never really knew you, Ted.
Ted from 2067: Oh. That’s my fault. I never truly opened myself up to you. The truth is, I looked at you and saw myself.
Ted: Yeah. I know. Me too.


 

Bill: I’ll never forget you, Bill. Ever.
Ted: Catch you later, Ted.
Ted from 2067: Catch you later, Bill and Ted.
[Bill and Ted leave]
Ted from 2067: They’re nice boys.
Bill from 2067: Yeah.


 

Ted: The booth is gone.
Bill: What? Where did it go?
Ted: I don’t know. Let’s go back and ask those wise old us’s.
Bill: Yeah. I hope we’re still alive.


 

[after they tell Dennis that they’ve got their song]
Dennis Caleb McCoy: Must expiate guilt.
Bill: For what? We’re fine, dude. Let us go!
Dennis Caleb McCoy: For murdering family.
Ted: Wait. What?
Bill: What are you talking about?
Dennis Caleb McCoy: I lasered your daughters.
Ted: You lasered them?
Bill: You lasered our daughters?
Ted, Bill: Where are they?
Dennis Caleb McCoy: Daughters are in Hell.


 

Ted: Dude, we need this guy to laser us, but he appears to be having some kind of nervous breakdown.
Bill: Shoot us, Robot!
Dennis Caleb McCoy: I can’t. I’m a failure. I don’t even deserve to live, you know?
Bill, Ted: Shoot us!


 

[after they all end up in Hell]
Bill: That is unexpected.
Ted: Yeah. How can a robot even die?
Bill: Let’s find the girls.
Dennis Caleb McCoy: Can I come with you?
Ted: He did kill us.


 

Dennis Caleb McCoy: Dennis Caleb McCoy. That’s the full name.
Ted: Let’s go, dude!
Dennis Caleb McCoy: I feel gratitude. Gratitude.
Bill: Okay, we get it. You’re a grateful, totally insecure, somehow dead robot, named Dennis Caleb McCoy.


 

[referring to Billie and Thea]
Ted: How are we going to find them, dude?
Bill: I don’t know, dude.
Dennis Caleb McCoy: [imitating them] Yeah, I don’t even know, dude.


 

[after they get directions from two demons in Hell]
Dennis Caleb McCoy: Thanks, demons.
Stupid Demon: Have a good time, boys.
Ugly Demon: I know that’s strange.
Stupid Demon: What is that, a robot?
Ugly Demon: Yeah, that’s a robot in Hell.


 

[to her mother; referring to Dennis, the robot]
Kelly: Oh, yeah. This is way worse than the Christmas incident. And you named him Dennis? After my ex?


 

[after finding the girls in Hell]
Bill, Ted: Thea! Billie!
Thea, Billie: Dads!


 

Bill: How are you doing?
Thea: Well, you know, dead.
Billie: And we’re in Hell.
Ted: But how are you doing?
Thea, Billie: We’re good.


 

[as they also find Ted’s dad in Hell]
Chief Logan: Hi, Ted. I was wrong. I mean, you’re here. Which implies that you also traveled through time, and that your wives actually are princesses. All of which proves that it is imperative that you write the song that will unite the entire world.
Bill, Ted: And save reality.
Chief Logan: Wait, is that new?
Bill, Ted: Yeah.


 

Chief Logan: Well, then, I should help you instead of criticizing you. And I am very, very, very sorry.
Ted: Thanks, dad!
Bill: Yeah, thanks, Chief Logan!
Chief Logan: I wasn’t talking to you, Bill.
Bill: Oh. Cool.


 

[after the girls introdude their historical band]
Ted: It’s a great honor to meet you all.
Bill: Yeah. Welcome to, and sorry about, Hell.
Dennis Caleb McCoy: My bad.


 

Billie: How are we going to get out of here?
Ted: We’re going to go talk to Death.
Billie: Oh. Well, isn’t he still mad at you guys?
Bill: Oh, yeah.
Ted: And we’re still mad at him.


 

[as they watch Death]
Ted: Is he playing Hopscotch by himself?
Bill: He looks miserable, dude.
Ted: Dude, he’s cheating!


 

Bill, Ted: Hey, Death.
Death: Why, if it isn’t the Wyld Stallyns. Have you come to sue me again?
Ted: No, Death. Not at all.
Bill: No. We just need to talk to you, Death.
Death: Talk to the hand.


 

Death: Did your restraining order run out? Did the judge change his mind? So now I am allowed to get close to you? Hm? Is this too close?
Ted: Death, we didn’t want to sue you, dude.


 

Ted: You tried to take the name Wyld Stallyns.
Death: I was Wyld Stallyns.
Bill: What are you talking about?
Death: You kicked me out because you was jealous of me.


 

Bill: You quit the band to go out on your own!
Death: You wouldn’t let me play!
Ted: Dude, you were playing forty minute bass solos. No one but you could play!
Death: I was in the groove!
Ted: What?!
Death: Those forty minute solos, that was the highlight of your shows. It’s no wonder you went down in the tubes.


 

Death: I have been demoted down here, because I took two so-called “friends” back up who should not have gone back up. So if that is why you’re here…
[blows raspberry]
Death: Sorry, not sorry! Bye!


 

Death: Well, if it isn’t Little Bill and Little Ted.
Thea: We’re still your hugest fans.
Billie: Yeah.
Death: Oh. Don’t fudge with me.
Billie: We’re not fudging with you, sir.


 

Thea: I mean, The Lonely Soul Surfer was the most underrated album in 1998.
Death: The critics hated it.
Billie: Well, they just weren’t ready for an album that was all bass.
Death: “It was all over the place,” they said. “It was a raging confused mess,” they said. “It was even worse than Pale on Pale,” they said.


 

Thea: Dads, is there something you would like to say to Death?
Ted: We’re sorry for how things went between us, Death.
Bill: Yeah. Sincerely sorry.
Death: I am sorry that fame went to my head. It’s very intoxicating.


 

Bill: We really did love playing with you, dude.
Death: We really did rock, didn’t we?
Ted: We definitely did. And if it’s not too late, Death.
Death: Yeah?
Bill: Would you consider rejoining…
Bill, Ted: Wyld Stallyns?
Death: Oh, I suppose.
[he embraces Bill and Ted]


 

[as he’s about to get them out of Hell]
Death: Let’s rock!


 

Dennis Caleb McCoy: It was cool when you said, “Let’s rock,” because it made me want to rock.
Death: Uh-huh. You don’t just get to rock. You got to earn the right to rock.


 

Bill: Anyone know where MP 46 is?
Kid Cudi: Depends on your perspective. To really dig the groove of the quantum realm, you got to choose a place to dig it from. Dig?
[pause]
Bill: Anyone know where MP 46 is?


 

Bill: This is MP 46? It makes no sense. How can the song happen right here?
Ted: Because this is where it happened.
Bill: Ted, you’re right, dude!


 

Ted: Dude, you seeing what I’m seeing?
Bill: Preston?
Ted: Logan?
[they hold up the two parts of the broken flash drive]
Bill, Ted: Preston-Logan. Woh.


 

Ted: It was you the whole time. We just didn’t see it.
Thea: We can’t write music.
Billie: Whatever. We just listen to stuff.
Thea: From things we like.
Billie: And we just kind of put stuff together.
Bill: Yeah, maybe you just listen a little, make things you like.
Ted: And put it all together.


 

Bill: Girls, you’re not here to back us.
Ted: We’re here to back you.
Bill: We’re your band.


 

Ted: How is just listening to a song going to unite the whole world throughout all of time?
Bill: That is a good question, dude.
Ted: It’s almost like they’d all have to hear it in order to play it.
Bill: Ted, of course! That’s how we’re going to unite them. We get them to play along.
Ted: Well, if that’s true, alls we got to do is get to everyone throughout all time.
Bill: Yeah, and get them instruments, dude.


 

Dennis Caleb McCoy: What about a tambourine? I mean, how hard can it be to rock with that?
Death: Tambourine is not as easy as it looks.
Dennis Caleb McCoy: What about dancing? I’m a very gifted dancer.
Death: You dance? Really?
[Dennis nods]
Death: Why don’t you go over there and rehearse your dance?


 

Ted: Did you find a reality where we’re all happy together?
Elizabeth: We did.
Joanna: We realized we’re happiest in this reality.
Bill, Ted: Sweet!


 

Bill: Excuse me, Mr. Cudi, sir? Our wives just traveled through multiple realities.
Ted: And in doing so, they realized…
Elizabeth: They’re all happening…
Joanna, Elizabeth: Simultaneously.
Ted: Do we need individual us’s to take instruments to infinite places?
Kid Cudi: Okay. See, contrary to what some have argued, universal wave function is, epistemologically speaking, both cyclic and separating. In other words…
Ted: Excuse me, Kid Cudi. I don’t mean to be rude, but we have like four and a half minutes.


 

Kid Cudi: All you need to do is go in the quantum superposition with multiple realities.
Bill, Ted, Joanna, Elizabeth: But how?
Kid Cudi: Dudes, the booth is obviously a tunnel to the quantum realm.


 

Kelly: I already said goodbye to the girls.
Dennis Caleb McCoy: But I want to stay here and dance.
Kelly: Dennis.
[to Bill and Ted]
Kelly: Good luck, my excellent friends.


 

[as they’re about to go infinite realities and eras]
Bill: One last thing.
Ted: I love you, Elizabeth.
Bill: I love you, Joanna.
Joanna: We know.


 

[as they’re handing out instruments to people all across time]
Ted: In case you’re wondering, I’m essentially an infinite me. Catch you later.
Deacon, Missy: Outstanding!


 

[last lines]
Billie: And so, it wasn’t so much the song that made the difference.
Thea: It was everyone playing it together.
Billie: And it worked.


 

[post-credits lines; we see old Bill and Ted in 2067]
Bill from 2067: Dude, are you dead yet?
Ted from 2067: No. Are you?
Bill from 2067: No. There’s one more thing we need to do before we go.
Ted from 2067: Definitely.
[they then perform a guitar solo]


 

[post-credits lines; after their guitar solo]
Bill from 2067: We still got it.
Ted from 2067: We still got it. Hey, Bill.
Bill from 2067: Yeah?
[they high five each other]
Bill from 2067: Oh. Okay, I have to sit down. I’m sorry.
Ted from 2067: That was fun.
Bill from 2067: That was good.
[they both sit]
Bill from 2067: Nurse!


 

What do you think of Bill & Ted Face the Music quotes? Let us know what you think in the comments below as we’d love to know.

 

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