Starring: Margot Robbie, Ewan McGregor, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Jurnee Smollett-Bell, Rosie Perez, Chris Messina, Ella Jay Basco
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
DC superhero-action directed by Cathy Yan. After splitting with the Joker, Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) joins forces with Dinah Lance/Black Canary (Jurnee Smollett-Bell), Helena Bertinelli/Huntress (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), and Renee Montoya (Rosie Perez) to save a young girl named, Cassandra Cain (Ella Jay Basco), from Gotham City crime lord Roman Sionis/Black Mask (Ewan McGregor).
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Our Favorite Quote:'Psychologically speaking, vengeance rarely brings the catharsis we hope for.' - Harley Quinn (Birds of Prey) Click To Tweet
Harley Quinn: [voice over] They say, if you want to tell a story right, you got to start at the beginning.
[we see a cartoon of a sperm heading towards an ovary egg]
Harley Quinn: [voice over] Too far? Fine.
Harley Quinn: [voice over] This is me, Harleen Quinzel. When I was a kid, my dad traded me for a six-pack of beer. But however many times he tried to ditch me, I kept coming back. Eventually, he found me a new home. The good sisters of St. Bernadette’s taught me a lot. But I was never an establishment kind of gal. All things considered, I did good. I even went to college. I got my PhD. Had my heart broken once or twice. Finding love, it’s not easy. So I threw myself into my work, became a psychiatrist. That’s when I met him. Mr. J. My Joker.
Harley Quinn: [voice over] Oh, I fell hard. Like out of a plane without a parachute, right in your dumb f**king face kind of hard. I lost all sense of who I was. I only had eyes for Pudding. We all know the saying, “Behind every successful man there’s a bada** broad.” Well, that was me. I was the brains behind some of Mr. J’s greatest stunts. Not that he let anyone know it.
Harley Quinn: [voice over] I guess all good things have to come to an end. So, we broke up. I handled it real mature. But Mr. J was super broke up about it. I got an amazing new place that was all mine. It gave me the space to really reflect on the mistakes of my past.
[we see Harley cutting her hair and adopting a hyena]
Harley Quinn: [voice over] I had to find a new identity. A new me. It wasn’t easy. But after a while, I even opened myself up to the possibility of new love. Here’s the thing about new love, you have to feed it.
[we see Harely taking up roller derby and going to Roman’s nightclub]
Harley Quinn: [voice over] Soon enough, I was back on my feet. Ready to move on, to make new friends. It was time for Gotham to meet the new Harley Quinn, so I really put myself out there.
[after Harley breaks Roman’s driver’s legs at his nightclub]
Roman Sionis: It’s not a party without a little drama, am I right?
Roman Sionis: Will your paramour be joining us this evening?
Harley Quinn: Not tonight, Romy. Not tonight.
Roman Sionis: Well, enjoy yourself, Miss Quinn. And do give the Joker my best.
Harley Quinn: [voice over] Okay, fine, so I hadn’t told people about the breakup. But you don’t understand. Being Joker’s girl gave me immunity. I could do whatever I wanted, to whoever I wanted, and no one ever dared to object.
Harley Quinn: [voice over] I knew I needed to find some way to show the world that I’d cut ties with Mr. J for good. Some people have the Eiffel Tower, or Olive Garden. The Joker and I? Our love bloomed in a highly toxic industrial processing plant. And, luckily for me, I have all my best ideas drunk.
[after she blows up the ACE Chemicals Plant where she pledged herself to Joker]
Harley Quinn: [voice over] It was the closure I needed. A fresh start. A chance to be my own woman. But I wasn’t the only dame in Gotham looking for emancipation. This is our story. And I’m telling it, so I’ll start where I f**king want.
Harley Quinn: [voice over] I’m about to learn that a lot of people in this city want me dead. And at the top of that list, is this guy.
[we see Roman holding some people hostage with Zsasz torturing them]
Harley Quinn: [voice over] The wack job with the penchant for peeling faces is Roman Sionis, aka Black Mask. The fact that he wants me dead hasn’t yet hit my radar. See, I was halfway across town, hungover, and thinking about breakfast. Egg, bacon, American cheese. Soft, toasted buttered roll. Just a dash of hot sauce. What a way to start my new life. With the perfect egg sandwich.
Harley Quinn: [voice over] It had been six short hours since my little stunt at ACE Chemicals announced to the world that Mr. J and I were dunzo. The immunity I’d enjoyed for so long was gone.
Harley Quinn: [voice over] And what’s worse, every person I ever wronged now felt free to come and take their pound of flesh. Turns out, I wronged a lot of people.
[Harley walks up to the Police reception]
Desk Sergeant: Can I help you?
Harley Quinn: Why, yes. Yes, you can. I’m here to report a terrible crime.
And what terrible crime is that?
[Harley opens her long coat to pull out a non-lethal grenade launcher]
Harley Quinn: This one.
Harley Quinn: [voice over] For you to understand why me, the cop, and that dame on the toilet, her name’s Cassandra Cain, are all looking for this Cain character, I got to take you back a few days, to that night I got sh*tfaced at the Black Mask Club.
[referring to Dinah]
Harley Quinn: [voice over] Canary’s been singing at Roman’s club for years. He calls her his little bird, and he’s got her wrapped right around his fancy little finger.
[Harley meets Dinah at Roman’s club]
Harley Quinn: Know what a harlequin is?
Dinah Lance: Janky-a** clown with bad eye makeup?
Harley Quinn: Oof! Ouch! A harlequin’s role is to serve. An audience. A master. You know, a harlequin’s nothing without a master. And no one gives two f**ks who we are beyond that.
Dinah Lance: Yeah, I don’t know who you think I am, lady, but I’m not her.
Harley Quinn: Pudding and I broke up. I haven’t told that to anyone. Yeah. For good this time. And for the first time, in a long time, I’m all on my lonesome. It’s great.
Dinah Lance: Welcome to the club.
[referring to Roman]
Victor Zsasz: You’re getting promoted. You’re his new driver.
Dinah Lance: Huh, thanks. But I think I’m good with the singing gig.
Victor Zsasz: You’ll be good at the driving gig. Be here tomorrow. 9:00 AM. Sharp.
Harley Quinn: [voice over] So that’s how Canary got herself a job driving around Gotham’s newest Godfather. A position, I might add, that wouldn’t have been vacant without the help of yours truly.
[referring to Harley blowing up the ACE Chemicals plant]
Victor Zsasz: Harley Quinn did it. Some kind of “f**k you” to the Joker. They split.
Roman Sionis: What’s wrong with you, Victor? Talk about burying the lead. This is spectacular news! She doesn’t belong to him, she belongs to me. Have the boys go find her. Round her up, bring her back. I want her.
[referring to Cassandra steals swallowing Roman’s diamond that she stole]
Harley Quinn: [voice over] In the storytelling business, this dummy, swallowing that diamond, is called a complication. A complication I didn’t exactly need right now.
Roman Sionis: I don’t care what it takes, I want my diamond back.
[after Harley is captured by Roman]
Roman Sionis: Harleen Quinzel. Wooh!
Harley Quinn: Hiya, Romy.
Roman Sionis: Do you know why you’re here? Hm?
Harley Quinn: [voice over] When it comes to me and Roman Sionis, there are a lot of possible answers to this question.
Roman Sionis: You’re here because…
Harley Quinn: Oh, God, stop. You’re going to do that thing where you open up a weird-a** case of torture devices, while inexplicably detailing your master plan, and how I don’t fit into it.
Roman Sionis: I’m building a better…
Harley Quinn: Seriously, you don’t have to. Really! You’re building a criminal empire because daddy kicked you out of Janus Corp. And you think this is a big f**k you, but in actuality it’s a very misguided attempt to win back his respect. I get it. You’re really not as complicated as you think.
Roman Sionis: And you’re really not as clever as you think, because now I’m going to slice your…
Harley Quinn: Oh, Jesus Christmas! Now you’re going to say that you want to kill me to set an example. Christ, you’re boring.
Roman Sionis: I want to kill you.
Harley Quinn: Sh*t.
Roman Sionis: Because without the Joker around, I can.
Roman Sionis: For all your noise and bluster, you’re just a silly little girl with no one around to protect her.
[Zsasz comes close to her face]
Harley Quinn: Woh. Wait.
Roman Sionis: What?
Harley Quinn: Don’t kill me.
Roman Sionis: Ha! Right.
[after she offers to find Roman’s diamond in exchange for not killing her]
Harley Quinn: You want this diamond back? I’m your gal. Mr. J once lost a rare photograph of a nude Eleanor Roosevelt, and I found it in a bird’s nest in Robinson Park. If you let me go, just for now, I’ll get you that rock back. What have you got to lose? If your boys find it first, swear to God, you can kill me later. Pinky swear. Cross my heart, hope to fart.
[Roman smacks her across the face]
Roman Sionis: You’re so tiresome! If you want my mercy, shut that hole in the middle of your face and listen. You’re going to get me my diamond.
Roman Sionis: I’ll give you till midnight. And then I’m going to peel off that pretty face, and pickle it. Okay?
Harley Quinn: [voice over] Call me old fashioned, but I always thought the guy was meant to get the girl a diamond.
Harley Quinn: Oh, hey. You’re that singer no one listens to.
Dinah Lance: Hey, you’re the a**hole no one likes.
[as she sees Roman’s reward to mercenaries if they capture Cassandra]
Harley Quinn: Roman, you trustafarian f**kbag.
[Cassandra tosses a dynamite out the window of the car, exploding the car chasing them]
Cassandra Cain: Who did I just blow up?
Harley Quinn: Either someone who wants me dead, or someone looking to collect the half-million dollar reward on your head.
Cassandra Cain: Half a million dollars?
Harley Quinn: Yeah.
Cassandra Cain: Do I look like I’m worth half a million dollars?
Harley Quinn: Not really.
Cassandra Cain: You’ve got the wrong kid. Now, uncuff me.
Harley Quinn: Oh, sure. As soon as you give me the diamond.
Cassandra Cain: What diamond?
Cassandra Cain: I don’t know nothing about no diamond.
Harley Quinn: The inflection in your voice, the way you can’t hold eye contact, and the fact that you’re a filthy little thief, all suggest that you do. Now, you can give it to me, or I can give you to the man that diamond belongs to. But trust me when I say, you’re not going to like what he’s going to do to you. Now, hand it over.
Cassandra Cain: Yeah, not going to happen.
[we see Harley getting bottles of LaxPlus at the grocert store]
Harley Quinn: There are two ways that diamond’s coming out of you.
[holds up a bottle of LaxPlus]
Harley Quinn: This way.
[grabs a sharp knife]
Harley Quinn: Or this way.
[Cassandra quickly chooses the bottle of LaxPlus]
Harley Quinn: That’s what I thought. Also, I’m out of groceries.
Harley Quinn: You’re not going to try to run, are you?
Cassandra Cain: Look, if there’s really a half mil on my head, I figure I’m better off with the person who’s not going to cut me open.
Harley Quinn: Fine. But if you try to run, I will kill you. I do not care that you’re a kid.
Cassandra Cain: Seriously though, how did you get to be here? I mean, shopping at fancy-a** stores, you’re making bank, you have your own business. How did you do it? Come on, tell me. Woman to woman. Being a pickpocket’s fine and all, but I got real potential. I mean, how do I be like you? Well, except for the crazy part. But other than that.
Harley Quinn: Number one, no one is like me. If you wanted to even come close, you would have to go to medical school. Become a psychiatrist. Work in an asylum. Fall in love with your patient. Break said patient out of said asylum. Begin a life of crime. Jump into a vat of chemicals to prove yourself to a madman. Get arrested by the Batman. Go back to jail. Get out of jail with a bomb on your neck. Save the world, go back to jail, and break out of jail before breaking up with the aforementioned madman, and going out on your own. Number two…
[picks up a bottle of water]
Harley Quinn: Six bucks for tap water with a f**king cucumber stick in it? That’s crazy. I’m not shopping at this store. I’m robbing this store. Consider this your first lesson. Paying is for dummies.
Harley Quinn: [to Cassandra] I’m telling you, if you want boys to respect you, you have to show them that you’re serious. Blow something up. Shoot someone. Nothing gets a guy’s attention like violence.
[after Harley takes Cassandra to her apartment]
Cassandra Cain: Oh, sh*t. Is that a hyena in a bathtub?
Harley Quinn: I named him Bruce after that hunky Wayne guy. He’s my little dumpling, aren’t you? Aren’t you, my little baby? Aren’t you, Brucey? Yes. I love you.
[referring to Harley’s drawing of Joker]
Cassandra Cain: He your ex or something?
Harley Quinn: You don’t know who that is? The Joker. The Clown Prince of Crime. My former partner in madness. The Harlequin of Hate. The Jester of Genocide. You’ve never heard of him?
Cassandra Cain: Well, sounds like a d*ck.
[referring to Helena, who’s family was massacred when she was younger]
Harley Quinn: [voice over] She spends the next fifteen years thinking only of revenge. So, she starts training. When she was ready, and by “ready” I mean a bada** m*therf**king killing machine, she moves back to Gotham. Starts working on that kill list. She has the murder stuff down, but the rest?
[we see Helena practicing in front of the mirror]
Helena Bertinelli: Do you know who I am? Do you know who I am?
Harley Quinn: [voice over] Still a work in progress.
[referring to Helena]
Harley Quinn: [voice over] She calls herself Huntress. F**king fabulous, if you ask me.
[as someone knocks on the apartment door]
Cassandra Cain: You said they wouldn’t find us.
Harley Quinn: Chillax. No one knows we’re here.
Henchman: Harleen Quinzel, this is Gotham Police.
Harley Quinn: Okay. So they know.
[referring to Harley giving her up to Roman]
Cassandra Cain: I thought you were different.
Harley Quinn: I’m sorry, kid. I’m just a terrible person, I guess.
[after Zsasz’s killed; pointing her gun at Harley]
Dinah Lance: I’m not letting you sell the kid to him.
Harley Quinn: I wasn’t going to sell the kid. I was going to trade the kid.
Dinah Lance: Yeah. To save your own stupid skin. Huh?
Harley Quinn: I’m not proud of what I did, but I had half the city after me.
Helena Bertinelli: I killed Galante. I killed his firing squad. I killed Victor Zsasz. And now I’m done.
Harley Quinn: Bravo.
Helena Bertinelli: So if you don’t mind, I’m going to leave now.
Renee Montoya: Woh, woh, woh, woh. I hate to be the one to break it to you, sweetheart, but you are not done. Who do you think funded Galante’s little power grab, huh? Galante was working with Sionis. Roman killed your whole family looking for that rock. You don’t think he’s going to kill this kid? That diamond is our only chance of stopping him.
[after Roman shows up with a small army of masked criminals]
Harley Quinn: Do you know what that means? That means he’s not just after the kid anymore. He’s after all of us. He’s sure as hell after me. I just robbed him. You just betrayed him. You just killed his BFF. And you’re dumb enough to be building a case against him. So, unless we all want to die very unpleasant deaths, and let Roman go finger-fishing in the kid’s intestinal tract, we’re going to have to work together.
Renee Montoya: With you?
Harley Quinn: Yeah. We’re going to work together, and we’ll get out of here in one piece, okay?
Renee Montoya: Okay.
Dinah Lance: Yeah. Okay.
[they all look at Helena]
Helena Bertinelli: [doubtfully] Sure.
Harley Quinn: Yes!
[as they are picking out their weapons, Montoya picks top to wear]
Harley Quinn: Oh, no, no, no. Not that one. Sentimental value. Try this.
[she gives Montoya a bulletproof vest]
Renee Montoya: You’re kidding.
Harley Quinn: What? Got to take care of the girls.
Harley Quinn: Isn’t this fun? It’s just like a sleepover. We should order pizza. Make cosmos.
Dinah Lance: Harley, focus.
Harley Quinn: Okay.
Dinah Lance: What the hell is up with this bow and arrow shtick?
Helena Bertinelli: It’s not a f**king bow and arrow! It’s a crossbow. I’m not twelve.
Dinah Lance: [laughs] I love this chick. She’s got rage issues.
Helena Bertinelli: [yells] I don’t have rage issues!
Harley Quinn: You know, psychologically speaking, vengeance rarely brings the catharsis we hope for.
Dinah Lance: Yeah.
Harley Quinn: Are we ready? Bad guys, just outside.
[as they’re fighting off Roman’s army]
Harley Quinn: Hair tie?
Dinah Lance: Yeah.
[Harley gives Dinah a hair tie for her hair]
[after Montoya gets shot, referring to the bulletproof vest]
Harley Quinn: Aren’t you glad you wore that? Sexy and bulletproof.
[as Cassandra is captured by Roman and his men continue to attack them]
Helena Bertinelli: Guys, come on! They’re closing in!
Renee Montoya: Canary, you know what you have to do!
Dinah Lance: Cover your ears! You better get her back.
[Dinah then uses her metahuman ability of supersonic-level screaming to defeat Roman’s men]
Harley Quinn: [voice over] Told you she had a killer voice.
[after catching up to Roman at a nearby pier]
Roman Sionis: I’m the only one who can protect you! You know you can’t stand on your own, Quinn. You’re not the type! But me? You need me!
Harley Quinn: Here’s the thing, Romy baby. Your protection is based on the fact that people are scared of you. Just like they’re scared of Mr. J. But I’m the one they should be scared of. Not you, and not Mr. J. Because I’m Harley f**king Quinn.
[as Roman holds Cassandra at gunpoint]
Roman Sionis: You think you can beat me? You’re a f**king moron.
Harley Quinn: I’m sorry, kid. And I’m sorry I tried to sell you. That was a d*ck move. For what it’s worth, you made me want to be a less terrible person.
Cassandra Cain: If we’re apologizing for sh*t, I should tell you something.
Roman Sionis: Excuse me!
Cassandra Cain: I stole something from you.
Harley Quinn: You slippery-fingered little turd.
Cassandra Cain: I took your ring.
Harley Quinn: My ring?
[Cassandra pulls the ring from a grenade she’d taken from Harley’s weapons chest earlier, Harley throws Roman from the pier as the grenade detonates and kills him]
[after killing Roman, Harley, Dinah, Helena, Montoya and Cassandra are at a diner]
Harley Quinn: Kid, if that burrito doesn’t make you sh*t, I don’t know what will.
Cassandra Cain: Give me a minute.
[they cheer her as she gets up to go to the bathroom]
Harley Quinn: I’ve given her prune juice, laxatives. I mean, the kid’s got a stomach made of steel.
Renee Montoya: And you know what? I owe you an apology.
Harley Quinn: Me?
Renee Montoya: I underestimated you. And I’m sorry.
Harley Quinn: I’m used to it.
Helena Bertinelli: So, what now?
Renee Montoya: Sionis is gone, but it’s just a matter of time before some other a**hole tries to finish what he started.
Dinah Lance: Right.
Renee Montoya: We got to clean this city from the inside out.
Helena Bertinelli: Does she always talk like the cop in a bad ’80s movie, or is that just me?
[Dinah starts laughing]
Renee Montoya: F**k you. And f**k you.
Helena Bertinelli: What?
Renee Montoya: I mean, we were amazing there!
[after Harley leaves the group and steals Dinah’s car to get away]
Harley Quinn: I know what you’re thinking. You think I’m a d*ck after all that. But you heard what the cop said. Sionis is gone. And those guys? They’re going to be just fine.
Harley Quinn: [voice over] Montoya’s boss picked up the gangbangers at the Booby Trap. And took all the credit while he was at it. Again. It was the kick in the balls she needed to see that she had nothing to prove to those blowhard a**holes. She quit the same day.
Harley Quinn: [voice over] We got the secret bank codes off the diamond. And Huntress got her family money back. She’s using it to fund a little crime fighting outfit. They call themselves the Birds of Prey. I call them dorky little do-gooders. The rock itself was worth a chunk of change, so I pawned it. And I invested the cash in a little startup making waves in the East End.
[referring to her missing hyena]
Harley Quinn: [voice over] Oh! And I found Bruce. He was wandering around Chinatown. I guess it proves the theory that hyenas really do have nine lives.
[last lines; we see Harley driving off with Cassandra and Bruce]
Harley Quinn: [voice over] Yeah, yeah. I made the kid my apprentice. Call me a softy. I dare you.
Harley Quinn: Are you dummies still sitting there? Fine. Since you stuck it out this long, I’ll tell you a super duper secret-secret. But you can’t tell anyone. Okay. Did you know that Batman f…
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