Starring: Kaitlyn Dever, Beanie Feldstein, Billie Lourd, Jessica Williams, Will Forte, Lisa Kudrow, Jason Sudeikis, Skyler Gisondo, Mike O’Brien, Molly Gordon
OUR RATING: ★★★★☆
Comedy directed by Olivia Wilde in which the story follows two overachieving high school seniors and best friends, Molly and Amy (Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever), who on the eve of their high school graduation, suddenly realize that they should have worked less and played more. Determined not to fall short of their peers, the girls set out on a mission to cram four years of fun into one night.
Best Quotes (Total Quotes: 37)
[first lines; Molly is listening to a self-help tape]
Motivational Voice: Good morning, winner. Take a deep breath. Good. You’re ready to dominate this day. You’ve worked harder than everyone, and that is why you’re a champion. You understand that greatness takes sacrifice. Visualize what you still want to achieve. Stand atop the mountain of your success and look down at everyone who’s ever doubted you. Fuck those losers. Fuck them in their stupid fucking faces.
Molly: I need to go over the end of the year budget numbers we have.
Principal Brown: Gosh. Really? Like, now? I mean, why don’t you do it with Nick? You know, please? I mean, he’s, you know, he’s the vice president.
Molly: Nick? We both know that Nick only ran for VP because they plan the dances. That position is, it’s basically a popularity contest. He’s useless.
Principal Brown: Ladies, it’s the last day, you know? We did it, huh? We got you through high school. Can’t we just graduate, head off to college, you know, celebrate this wonderful achievement? Let’s focus on getting through the rest of the day without anything horrible happening.
[he closes the door in their faces]
Molly: I’m sorry, are you shutting the door on us? Because that’s not subtle. We will persist!
Molly: Go talk to Ryan.
Amy: What? No.
Molly: Cool, cool, because I’m going to go talk to Ryan. Because I have so much to say…
Amy: No, no, no.
[Amy gets up and goes over to Ryan]
Amy: Just, I’m going. Just going to…
Molly: There she goes.
[as Amy walks past Ryan they bump into each other]
Amy: Oh, oh, sorry, sorry.
Ryan: Oh, dude.
[whispers to herself as watches Amy from her seat]
Ryan: It’s all good.
[gives Ryan her racket]
Amy: Here you go.
Ryan: Sharp elbows.
Amy: [awkwardly] Not as sharp as your chin.
Amy: Um, so isn’t it crazy that it’s the last day?
Ryan: I know, dude. I can barely believe it.
[referring to Ryan]
Amy: I don’t even know if she’s into girls. I’m good.
Molly: She wore a polo shirt to prom.
Amy: Well, that’s just her gender performance. It’s different from her sexual orientation.
Molly: I’m sorry, but I don’t get it.
Amy: Well, gender is a construct of…
Molly: No. Thank you. That much I understand. It’s just, it’s a little bit shocking that you’re into Ryan. First crush, the little white cat from The Aristocats. You go from that to Avril Lavigne. It just, it’s not, it’s not what I anticipated.
Amy: I just like that she’s always in a good mood, and she’s got a really cute smile. She just seems like she’d be a really fun person to have sleepovers and lie around with.
Molly: Excuse me, pardon me? I’m a fun person to have sleepovers and lie around with. It’s literally all we do.
Amy: Well, with her, there’d be more vagina involved.
Molly: That’s fair.
Molly: Amy, do you know how many girls are going to be up your vagina at Columbia next year? Are you aware of it? Because I’m aware of it. Every time I come to visit you, you’re just going to be scissoring a different girl.
Amy: Dude, scissoring is not a thing.
Molly: Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
Amy: It’s not a thing.
Molly: Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
Amy: I’m not knocking it. It’s not a thing.
Molly: How about you don’t knock it until you’ve tried it?
[Molly overhears Triple A and her friends making fun of her in the bathroom]
Triple A: Wait, are you guys talking about Molly Davidson?
Triple A: That girl is so weird. She always acts like she’s like forty.
Tanner: I wish she was fucking forty, man. Women in their forties know themselves. Oh, she’s cute, you know, yeah, I give her that, but she’d probably make you quiz her on her SAT analogies while you fuck her.
Theo: Dude, no, her vagina is probably stuffed with diplomas, how much do you want to bet? That shit’s like a filing cabinet down there.
Tanner: Well, I’ve got no problem with a filing cabinet. I would make passionate sex to Molly Davidson.
Tanner: Yeah, I’d just put a bag over her personality.
Tanner: That’s it.
Triple A: Molly’s like a butterface for personality, a butter personality.
[after overhearing Tanner, Theo and Triple A make fun of her in the bathroom]
Molly: You know what, my vag is stuffed with diplomas. Soon it’s going to be stuffed with job offers, and glowing profiles, and commendations from the governor. So, while you guys were all studying AP hand jobs, I was kicking ass and busting curves. And I’m going to continue to do that at Yale next year. So, I like my choices, and wherever you three are next year, I hope you do too.
Triple A: I’m going to Yale too.
Triple A: I’m incredible at hand jobs, but I also got a fifteen-sixty on the SATs.
Molly: No, you didn’t.
Triple A: I got in early.
Molly: To Yale?
Triple A: Uh-huh.
Triple A: Mm-hm.
[after finding out that Theo has been recruited by Google]
Molly: You failed the seventh grade twice.
Theo: Rule of threes.
[after finding out that Triple A and her friends got into good colleges]
Molly: This isn’t possible. You guys don’t even care about school.
Triple A: No. We just don’t only care about school.
Molly: We chose. We didn’t party because we wanted to focus on school and get into good colleges.
Amy: And it worked.
Molly: But the irresponsible people who partied also got into those colleges, they did both.
Molly: So we messed up. We didn’t have to choose. They did both. We are the only assholes who did one.
Amy: Hey, we are not assholes, okay?
Molly: We have to go to a party tonight.
Molly: Let’s go to Nick’s party.
Amy: No. Are you kidding? No. No way.
Molly: Amy, we only have one night left to have studied and partied in high school. Otherwise, we’re just going to be the girls that missed out.
Molly: We haven’t done anything. We haven’t broken any rules.
Amy: Okay, we’ve broken a lot of rules. One, we have fake IDs.
Molly: Fake college IDs, so we can get into their twenty-four hour library.
Amy: Name one person whose life was so much better because they broke a couple of rules.
Amy: Yes, he broke art rules. Name a person who broke a real one.
Molly: Rosa Parks.
Amy: Name another.
Molly: Susan B. Anthony.
Amy: Goddamn it!
Molly: Amy, I’m so serious. They think that we’re robots. They think all we care about is taking a million APs, and getting into Yale, and editing Law Review at Georgetown, and clerking for a federal judge between junior and senior year before eventually becoming the youngest justice ever nominated to the Supreme Court of the United States.
Molly: In my case. You get the point. Nobody knows that we are fun.
Amy: We know.
Molly: They need to know.
Amy: Who’s they?
Molly: We are not one-dimensional. We are smart and fun. We have to do this.
Amy: This is crazy. We graduate tomorrow. What if we get in trouble?
Molly: You know that we are too smart for that. Plus, Ryan is going to be there. She wanted you to come. You’re finally going to make your moves.
Amy: No, she’s not…
Molly: You’ve been out for two years and you’ve never kissed a girl. I want you to experience this. What will I be doing during that time, you might ask? I’m going to experience a seminal fun anecdote, and we are going to change our stories forever.
Molly: What took them four years, we are doing in one night!
[she tosses their celebration cake aside]
Amy: Oh, Jesus!
[getting ready to go out]
Amy: Hand sanitizer. ChapStick. College IDs. Now, mace. Listen, it is very important that you keep the safety…
[Amy accidentally maces Molly]
Amy, Molly: Oh!
Molly: Ah! Amy!
Amy: The safety’s not on!
[Molly runs out of the room]
Amy: Don’t touch your eyes!
Molly: You can make yourself come using only your mind?
Molly: That’s the one thing my mind can’t do.
Molly: I think it’s healthy for a relationship to have secrets, and now we have one. Do I have a secret for you? Okay, yes. Uh-huh.
Molly: [whispers] I once tried to masturbate with an electric toothbrush, but I got a horrible UTI. Horrible. Like horrible.
Amy: I wish that would have been a secret, but you’ve mentioned it many, many times.
Amy: I’ve never lied to my parents before. You know when I lie, I just add too many details. Just make up a story, but don’t say we’re having a date night or anything.
Molly: Why? It’s funny your parents think we’re boning.
Amy: No, it’s not, because you’re not the one who has to deal with their creepy smiles when I tell them I’m meeting you at the library, when I’m actually meeting you at the library.
Molly: Honestly, it’s surprising that Doug and Charmaine are supportive, considering their whole Jesus thing. It’s nice.
Charmaine: What you two have…
Doug: We do. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Charmaine: What they have is very, very special.
Molly: Oh! It really is. It is. You know, they say you never forget your first…
Molly: Special friend.
Amy: Normal friend.
Molly: Yeah, my special friend.
[Molly embraces Amy from behind]
Molly: I’m just so thankful we get to spend the whole night together to really show each other how much we care about each other.
[Molly grabs Amy’s boobs from behind]
Amy: Ah. Oh!
Charmaine: That’s great.
Molly: Mmm, my girl.
Amy: We’ll probably just do a Korean face mask.
Charmaine: Well, I don’t need to know all the words.
Molly: Jared, you know where the party is, right?
Jared: Absofruitly, ladies. We are headed to the biggest, coolest grad night party in town. Can I get a “what-what”?
Amy: Jesus Christ.
[to Amy and Molly]
Jared: Okay, now, you guys said you wanted to go to the best party. So I brought you to the best party. Which is my party! Prepare to get bashed!
[points to the sign that says the same thing]
Jared: Not in like a violent way. Completely consensual bashing. I don’t know if that was clear. “Prepare to get consensually bashed,” that’ll say. I’ll have them change it.
[to Amy and Molly]
Principal Brown: Nothing more exciting or daunting than the blank page, you know. One book I’m thinking about doing is a book of quotes.
[records into his phone]
Principal Brown: Nothing more daunting or exciting than the blank page.
[to Amy and Molly]
Principal Brown: But, yeah, that’s one idea. I’m thinking about doing a detective novel.
Principal Brown: Actually, you know what? You two will love, Amy, you’ll love this. It’s a female detective.
Amy: Oh, really?
Principal Brown: A lady detective. Yeah, how about that?
Principal Brown: Yeah, she’s, uh, and she’s pregnant too. Still working. And, uh, you know, the baby, whenever she’s like close to a clue, or like one of her hunches is like, uh, you know, close, the baby kicks. You know, and the harder it kicks, the, you know, closer she is. And, uh, that’s where I’m at right now. I don’t know what to do once, um, you know, when she, um, gives birth.
Molly: How are we going to find out where the party is?
Amy: By doing what we do best. Motherfucking homework.
[Amy and Molly get into the backseat of a Lido Pizza deliver car using their hair as masks]
Pat the Pizza Guy: Oh, my God! What the fuck? Fuck! What the fuck is this?
Molly: We ask the questions!
Pat the Pizza Guy: Oh, my God. Oh, shit, shit! Is this some Manson family shit? What is this?
Amy: No! Everything is going to be just fine! You’re just going to give us the address to where you delivered some pizzas tonight.
Pat the Pizza Guy: Oh, my God. Are you guys out of your fucking mind? How old are you, by the way?
[deepens her voice]
Molly: Does not matter!
Pat the Pizza Guy: Okay, that voice did not make you sound older. So you’re basically children, and you just willingly got in the car of a strange man.
Pat the Pizza Guy: Do you guys have a weapon?
Pat the Pizza Guy: If we claim to have a weapon, this might be a felony.
Molly: Fuck! Yes.
Pat the Pizza Guy: Okay, so you’re using your hair as a mask and trying to rob someone with no weapon. Because the funny thing is, I actually have a weapon.
[he takes out his gun and holds it up
Amy: Fuck! Dear God, no!
Molly: You have a gun?
Pat the Pizza Guy: I keep that to protect myself from bad people, something you guys should be thinking about. Did the possibility of sexual assault ever enter your minds?
Molly: Not really.
Pat the Pizza Guy: Yeah, not really, I can tell. You were spending more time on, like the hair, and that whole part of it maybe, yeah. Because we’re like right by the freeway. I could have you across the state line in like forty minutes, take you to some cabin, hog tie your ankles, leave you in a room with like a saucer of milk and videotape the whole thing for a couple days.
Amy: What? No.
Pat the Pizza Guy: Think about that.
Amy: No, I’m not going to think about, we just need you to give us the address to where you delivered this huge order tonight.
Molly: You were incredible! You were so scary.
Amy: If you were a criminal, you’d be the best fucking criminal in Los Angeles.
[as Triple A gives Molly a ride home]
Triple A: You know, this is why people say I gave guys roadside assistance, right? I gave them a ride home, that’s all.
Triple A: Okay, that’s not true, I blew them. But it’s not like they ran out of gas and I showed up to suck their dick while they waited for help. We hooked up in their car. It makes sense to hook up in a car. I’m not going to like suck a dick at my own home where my father can walk in at any moment. Also, I want to enjoy it. Fucking sue me.
Molly: That makes a lot of sense.
Triple A: You know what the worst part is? All the fucking girls call me that too. I knew like Ben and Max and Dick Splinter would say stupid shit. I just, I didn’t think the girls would too.
Molly: Amy never called you that. I’m sorry, I’m genuinely sorry.
Triple A: Just like please don’t call me Triple A at Yale next year. I just want people to know my real name.
Molly: Of course, Annabel.
Triple A: Fuck, dude, no, not right now.
Molly: I’m sorry. That was bad. That wasn’t my best.
Triple A: Come on. Jesus Christ.
Molly: That was embarrassing for me. I’m sorry for that too.
[as she’s been handcuffed and being put into a police car by a cop]
Amy: Shotgun. Just kidding. I don’t have one.
[Molly visits Amy in jail]
Molly: I know women apologize too much, but in this case, I have so much to be sorry for. I was so selfish.
Amy: I was being a coward.
Molly: I’m sorry I’m so controlling. I just can’t imagine my life without you. You are the motherfucker who got arrested the night before graduation.
Amy: Oh, my God, graduation. Molly, what time is it? You have to go.
Molly: Yeah, why do you think I’m here? You’re coming with me.
Amy: Dude, no, I am screwed. I can’t leave. You have to go.
Molly: Amy, I am not graduating without you. So either I get arrested and I join you in there, or we go together.
Molly: We’re going to trade some information. Because we have seen this man.
[she holds up a wanted poster showing a drawing Pat the pizza delivery driver, who is a serial killer]
Theo: So last night was amazing. Can I see you again?
Miss Fine: Mmm… Good luck at Google next year, okay?
Theo: [whispers] Okay.
Miss Fine: Bye.
[as Miss Fine leaves Triple A approaches]
Miss Fine: Did you fuck Miss Fine?
[giving her graduation speech]
Molly: I was so scared of you. I felt like I had to prove that I was better than you. But really I don’t know any more than you guys. All I know is that we have a lot more to learn, because this part’s over, and that’s so sad. But it was great, wasn’t it? Things are never going to be the same, but it was perfect. And I may not have before, but I see you now. And you’re all pretty great. Don’t let college fuck it up. Congratulations.
[last lines; Molly and Amy share a tearful goodby at the airport, as Molly starts to drive away, Amy jumps in front of her car]
Amy: Oh, fuck!
Molly: Fuck! What the fuck is wrong with you? I was going through a thing! You weren’t, you’re, I was going through a whole fucking thing! What the fuck?
Amy: I can be the last one on the plane.
Molly: What’s wrong with you?
Amy: You want to get pancakes?
Molly: Fuck, yeah, I do! Fuck, yeah!
Total Quotes: 37
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