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Starring: John Mulaney, Andy Samberg, KiKi Layne, Will Arnett, Eric Bana, Flula Borg, Dennis Haysbert, Keegan-Michael Key, Tress MacNeille, Tim Robinson, Seth Rogen, J.K. Simmons, Chris Parnell, Corey Burton
OUR RATING: ★★★½
Disney+ live-action and animated adventure comedy directed by Akiva Schaffer. Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022) follows Chip and Dale (John Mulaney and Andy Samberg), who are living a life of mediocrity in modern-day Los Angeles in a world where humans and cartoon characters live together. When a former cast mate mysteriously disappears, Chip and Dale must repair their broken friendship and take on their Rescue Rangers detective personas once again to save their friend’s life.
Our Favorite Quote:'The biggest risk is not taking any risk at all.' - Young Chip (Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers) Click To Tweet
Dale: Okay. What’s the first thing that pops into your head when I say Chip ‘n Dale? I’m willing to bet it’s Thomas Chippendale, the London-based cabinet maker from the 1700s. Sick cabinet, Thomas!
Dale: [as we see photo of Chippendales] But I bet the second thing that pops into your head are these guys. But certainly, third would be those rascally cartoon chipmunks, Chip ‘n Dale, or should I say Chip and me?
Young Chip: [to young Dale] The biggest risk is not taking any risk at all.
Dale: Chip was so funny and thoughtful about everything. And I never thought about anything. We were perfect together. And even though, we were in the same grade, Chip was like the older brother I never had.
Dale: [as they arrive in California] Hello, potential new friends!
Chip: Goodbye, eclectic group of bus passengers.
Dale: Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers. We had finally done it! Our own TV show. It was about a group of little detectives who would solve big crimes. There was the adventurer, Monterey Jack. The inventor, Gadget Hackwrench. And Zipper, a fly. His things were, he was small, and he couldn’t speak, a double threat. And then there was Chip and I, we were a classic odd couple, with Chip as the logical straight man, and me as the fun-loving goof.
Dale: We were living the dream. High on the hog, all night long, dancing the “Roger Rabbit”, with Roger Rabbit.
Dale: [after he’s told Chip about his new TV show] Look, you’re always acting like you saved me or something. But when we were kids, we were in it together.
Chip: What are you talking about? We’re still in it together.
Dale: I’m sorry, Chip. I’m just done being second banana.
Chip: But you’re not second banana. I’m a banana, and you’re just another banana. Two bananas.
Dale: Rescue Rangers was canceled that summer, and Double-0 Dale was scrapped after the pilot. It wasn’t anyone’s fault in particular, just one of those showbiz things. But now, we’re ready to bring it back. Rescue Rangers 2.0! Starring me. Now in new and improved 3D.
Lumiere: [as they’re at Fan Con] Pardon moi, Dale, but your followers, they believe the crowd is for you?
Dale: Of course they do, Lumiere. And pretty soon, that crowd is going to be for me.
Ugly Sonic: Yeah, Dale! I’m going to be up on that stage too, right beside you!
Dale: Yes, Ugly Sonic. That’s the spirit.
Ugly Sonic: And they’ll like me for who I am, not like last time when the internet got one look at my human teeth, and burned the place down.
Ugly Sonic: Anyway, now my luck has shifted. I’ve been offered a new reality show where I do ride-alongs with the FBI. It’s called Ugly Sonic, Uglier Crimes.
Dale: Really? A TV show? You?
Ugly Sonic: Yeah, is that so difficult to believe.
Dale: [as he looks at Sonic’s teeth] Oh, I guess not.
Dale: When one of us succeeds, we all succeed. Baloo was part of the Disney Afternoon, just like me. Then he got The Jungle Book reboot, and boom, he’s back on top. It happens that fast.
Dale: You just got to stay prepared. I’m keeping myself fit. And, you know, my updated modern look?
Tigra: Yes, Dale, your CG surgery was done very tastefully. You look amazing.
Dale: Well, thank you, Tigra. We should hang out sometime.
Tigra: [referring to Fan Con] No offense, but don’t you think you’d have more fans here if Chip did these events with you?
Dale: Oh, Chip? Oh, that’s interesting. I hadn’t thought about him in a while. I should give him a call. See how life’s treating him.
Chip: Life is the worst. Which is why you need good insurance. Look, I’m not going to put on the hard sell, but in my experience, bad things happen all the time. They happen without warning. Sometimes from the last place you’d expect it, and you’re left to pick up the pieces. So, you have to protect yourself. If you’re prepared for the worst, the worst isn’t so bad. So, why risk it? It’s my job to pull the wool off your eyes, figuratively.
Frog Co-Worker: Are you sure you don’t want to see my new pad?
Chip: Oh, pad. Frog-based humor. No, thanks.
Frog Co-Worker: That’s just a taste of what you get from me outside the work environment.
Chip: [as he sees the Chipmunks on TV] Of course, they’re rapping. They always have to make the cartoons rap.
Chip: I’m sorry, Monty, but what is that God-awful smell?
Monterey Jack: What? You don’t remember? Rescue Ranger’s cologne. I wear it every day.
Chip: Oh, no. I remember. It smells like almond butter and gasoline.
Monterey Jack: And it’s very difficult to wash out.
Monterey Jack: I screwed up, Chip. My love of cheese got the best of me. And I bought more than I could pay for.
Chip: Oh, no. Cheese? Monty.
Monterey Jack: I know. I know. But I haven’t had so much as a whiff in weeks. I’m dairy-free.
Chip: [referring to the smell] Really? Then what’s that?
Monterey Jack: Oh, crud. It’s a really stinky Gorgonzola. You weren’t supposed to see that.
Chip: The Valley Gang? Monty, those guys are bad news.
Monterey Jack: I know. And if I can’t pay up, they’re going to bootleg me.
Chip: Bootleg you? What does that mean?
Monterey Jack: Oh, Chip. It’s gotten rough out there for us old-timers.
Monterey Jack: [referring to Flounder] So, they kidnap the bloke, erase his mouth so he can’t scream, then change him around to try to sneak by the copyright laws, and then smuggle him overseas to a black-market studio, where he’ll spend the rest of his life being forced to make terrible bootleg movies.
Monterey Jack: Yeah, I called Dale for help also. I hope that’s okay.
Chip: Yeah, why wouldn’t it be okay? I mean, it is okie-dokie artichokie.
Dale: Artichokie? For real?
Chip: Yes. Artichokie.
Dale: So, what’s been up with you?
Chip: Oh, you know, this, that. Other vague things to fill the space of this conversation.
Dale: You look the same.
Chip: Yeah. Thanks. And you look different.
Dale: Hey, it’s no secret I had the CGI surgery done, and it’s done wonders rejuvenating my career.
Dale: But, man, I tell you the real hot ticket is Rescue Rangers. There’s even some buzz about a reboot. Someone started a Facebook fan page for it and everything.
Monterey Jack: Crikey! A Facebook fan page? They don’t just give those away.
Chip: Oh, he’s full of it, Monty. No one’s talking about a Rescue Rangers reboot except for him.
Dale: What? The fans are hungry for it.
Chip: [to himself] Come over to try and help Monty, ambush me, talking about a reboot. Think they can squeeze a dollar out of essentially nothing. He’s the one that quit the show in the first place. I’ve been fine without it. It’s garbage. Total garbage. That’s why it’s better to not even have friends.
Chip: [as he sees the movie billboard for Batman vs. ET] Okay. Yeah, that one looks pretty good.
Ellie: [after Monty’s been kidnapped] I searched the perimeter. No clues.
Captain Putty: Yeah, of course not. Why would there be? Six missing toons in a month, and not one clue.
Ellie: Well, maybe we should check in with the neighbors? See if anyone saw anything?
Captain Putty: Oh, yeah. You think? Why don’t you just leave the real detective work to me, okay?
Ellie: I’m Ellie Steckler. I am a huge fan.
Ellie: I actually became a detective because as a little girl growing up in Albany, I wanted to help people. Just like you guys.
Dale: No way. We are so honored. Namaste.
Chip: You know that was just a TV show, right? Not real.
Dale: Chip, inspiration is inspiration.
Dale: We should go find Monty ourselves.
Chip: Are you kidding?
Dale: No! Who better to rescue Monty?
Chip: Literally anyone.
Chip: We’re as much real detectives as the Scooby-Doo gang.
Dale: Exactly! That’s why we have to try.
Chip: No! What?
Dale: Chip, Monty called both of us looking for help and we let him down. We can’t just let him rot in some overseas studio, being forced to make bad movies. If he’s going to make bad movies, he should be making them here, with me.
Dale: [to Chip] Did you just find a clue? You literally just sniffed out a clue!
Dale: So, you’re saying the Rescue Rangers are back?
Chip: No, because there’s no such thing as Rescue Rangers. Case closed!
Chip: No, this is not a case because we’re not real detectives.
Dale: Oh! But you did say case. Yes!
Chip: You know they make chipmunk-sized cars, right?
Dale: Duh. But human stuff is the best. A little work done on her, and she’ll be back to her glory days.
Chip: Do you know what a metaphor is, Dale?
Dale: If you’re about to say this car is a metaphor for something about me, you can stop. Because, no, I don’t know what a metaphor is.