
Copyright Notice: It’s easy to see when our selected quotes have been copied and pasted, as you’re also copying our format, mistakes, and movie scene descriptions. If you decide to copy from us please be kind and either link back, or refer back to our site. Please check out our copyright policies here. Thanks!
Starring: Keri Russell, O’Shea Jackson Jr., Ray Liotta, Alden Ehrenreich, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Kristofer Hivju, Christian Convery-Jennings, Brooklynn Prince, Margo Martindale, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Hannah Hoekstra, Aaron Holliday
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Story:
Black comedy thriller directed by Elizabeth Banks. Inspired by a true story set in 1985, Cocaine Bear (2023) follows the story of a drug runner’s plane crash, missing cocaine, and the black bear that ate it. An oddball group of cops, criminals, tourists, and teens converging in a Georgia forest where a bear has ingested a staggering amount of cocaine and gone on a drug-fueled rampage for more blow and blood.
Best Quotes
Olaf (Kristoffer): [to Elsa] You know the first thing I thought when I saw you? I thought, “I want to make a child with that person.”
Elsa: Yeah, it’s just that I don’t want to use your brother’s band.
Olaf (Kristoffer): Why not? He’s super, super good. He works super hard. And he even takes vocal lessons now.
Elsa: Yeah, I know this. I know this. It’s just that, well, Eric is no good. I mean, he’s, well, terrible, actually. His singing is like s**t.
Elsa: I’ve always wanted to see a bear in real life.
Olaf (Kristoffer): First humpbacks in Iceland, and now this!
Elsa: We have such good luck in nature.
Olaf (Kristoffer): [as he sees the bear attacking the tree] Did you see that? It’s demented or something.
Elsa: What? Can I get the camera? Give me the camera. Demented?
Olaf (Kristoffer): I think we should leave it. There’s something wrong with it.
Olaf (Kristoffer): [as the bear pops up near them] Oh, f***. Don’t panic.
Elsa: What do we do?
Olaf (Kristoffer): “If it’s black, fight back. If it’s brown, lay down.”
Elsa: But is it black or is it brown? I mean, it looks brown to me.
Olaf (Kristoffer): We’re in Appalachia. It’s black. We have to fight it.
Elsa: How do you know? You’re not a bear expert.
Olaf (Kristoffer): [as the bear is approaching them] Whatever you do, don’t…
Elsa: Run!
Olaf (Kristoffer): Oh, no. Oh, no. I said don’t run! Stop! Stop!
News Anchor: Millions of dollars worth of cocaine dropped from the sky early today onto a driveway in Knoxville, Tennessee.
Bob: I know who that is. Full name, Andrew C. Thornton II. Man was out of his mind.
Officer Reba: What’s the “C” stand for? You said “full name”, but you didn’t say his full name.
Eddie: [referring to the tattoo on his chest] They spelled her name wrong, Daveed. It says “John”.
Daveed: Says “John”.
Eddie: Her name is f***ing Joan.
Daveed: Look, we could get it fixed.
Eddie: No. I got to wait a week for it to heal first. I got seven more days of “John”.
Henry: [to Dee Dee] Why do I skip school with you? You’re bossier than the teachers.
Henry: [to Dee Dee] For a girl who likes to be left alone, you do a lot of s**t for attention.
Vest: Is that perfume?
Ranger Liz: That’s none of your business.
Vest: Well, it smells really nice.
Ranger Liz: Yeah, well, it’s European.
Peter: What’s that smell?
Vest: It’s European.
Peter: You got a dusty beaver here, Ranger.
Ranger Liz: Yeah, well, I’m working on that.
Dee Dee: Seriously, what the hell are you even doing?
Henry: Marking our territory.
Dee Dee: Ugh! Don’t s**t out here!
Henry: I’m not s**tting.
Dee Dee: This is definitely cocaine.
Henry: Yeah. Of course. I’m just not used to seeing it like that. You know, it’s usually more powdery on the streets.
Dee Dee: When have you seen cocaine on the streets?
Henry: When I do it.
Dee Dee: Faulk does not do cocaine after church.
Dee Dee: You’ve done it before. You can do it again.
Henry: Well, we’re exercising though. Shooting and stuff. I mean, I can’t do cocaine while shooting and exercising. That wouldn’t be good.
Dee Dee: [referring to the cocaine] Okay, so how do I do it?
Henry: You eat it.
Dee Dee: How much?
Henry: Like a tablespoon’s worth.
'Lizards are good listeners. But people, people are good at hearing.' - Stache (Cocaine Bear) Click To Tweet
Dee Dee: Something got into it. A deer, maybe.
Henry: Could you imagine that? Deer on cocaine?
Henry: Hey, Dee Dee. Do you think my dad has ever done cocaine?
Dee Dee: Your dad has definitely done cocaine.
Dee Dee: [as they see the bear] Did it do the cocaine?
Henry: Don’t move a muscle.
Eddie: I don’t hang out with drug dealers anymore. It’s against my constitution.
Daveed: I’m more than a drug dealer.
Eddie: No, you’re not.
Peter: Nothing can distract me from making sure the entire biological community is safe for all our friends.
Sari: Friends?
Ranger Liz: He means animals.
Peter: I don’t like that word.
Ranger Liz: He doesn’t like to call them animals.
Ranger Liz: Park rangers are peace officers. Which means we can shoot people. Forest is a dangerous place. That gang of pubes are dangerous.
Peter: “Gang of pubes”?
Ranger Liz: Teens. Delinquents.
Kid (Stache): We stashed it under a gazebo. Going back for it later tonight.
Daveed: A gazebo?
Kid (Stache): It’s a pavilion-type structure.
Daveed: I know what the f*** a gazebo is.
Eddie: I didn’t.
Eddie: I prefer we left guns out of this.
Kid (Stache): Yeah. Same.
Daveed: And I would prefer not to be stabbed. So, Eddie, please go get the f***ing gun.
Kid (Stache): [referring to Daveed] Friend’s pretty serious, ain’t he?
Eddie: Well, I don’t think he’s too happy after getting stabbed in the shoulder.
Kid (Stache): Well, it wasn’t me. Eh, I don’t blame him though. Getting stabbed sucks.
Henry: Don’t be mad, but we skipped school.
Sari: No s**t, Henry.
Henry: But there was a bear. A really terrible bear.
Sari: A bear?
Henry: Yeah, I know. It was f***ed!
Ranger Liz: Hey! That’s inappropriate.
Peter: Bears are very peaceful creatures.
Peter: [to Liz] Why are you shooting at me?!
Ranger Liz: [referring to the bear] That a**hole! I’m going to get him. I’m going to get that a**hole.
Peter: [referring to the bear, as he climbs the tree] There’s something wrong with it.
Henry: Yeah. I told you there was.
Peter: Why is it acting like this? Did you feed it cocaine?
Henry: No! But you’re safe. Bears can’t climb trees.
Peter: Of course they can!
Henry: Then why are you up here?
Henry: [referring to Peter] That was so messed up. That little man was an expert on bears, but didn’t know the bear was the cocaine bear.
Trailer: