Coffee & Kareem Best Quotes – ‘Let’s do this!’

Starring: Ed Helms, Terrence Little Gardenhigh, Taraji P. Henson, Betty Gilpin, RonReaco Lee, Andrew Bachelor, David Alan Grier

OUR RATING: ★★☆☆☆

Story:

Netflix’s action comedy directed by Michael Dowse. The story follows police officer James Coffee (Ed Helms), who while enjoying his new relationship with Vanessa Manning (Taraji P. Henson), her twelve year-old son, Kareem (Terrence Little Gardenhigh), plots their break-up. Attempting to scare away Coffee for good, Kareem tries to hire criminal fugitives to take him out, but accidentally exposes a secret network of criminal activity, making his family its latest target. To protect Vanessa, Kareem teams up with Coffee, the partner he never wanted, for a dangerous chase across Detroit.

Best Quotes

Coffee: Well, that can mess a kid up. See his mom busting down Thotiana with some guy?
Vanessa Manning: Stop watching BET.

[referring to Kareem]
Coffee: First day I met him, he stares me down like it was day one in the prison yard.
Vanessa Manning: He has a lot to figure out. He’s twelve! He’s just shy, okay?
Coffee: Well, shy is not the word I would choose.

Vanessa Manning: Look, Kareem and I come as a package. I need to know that you are serious about this. About us. I’m too old to be messing around.
Coffee: Nessa, come here. Listen, I know you’re old.
Vanessa Manning: That is not the response I was looking for.
Coffee: Came out wrong.

Coffee: [to Vanessa] Now, ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to step away from your clothes and put your hands on your boyfriend.

[referring to Vanessa dating Coffee]
Dominic: If she’s going to date a white guy, she could at least get one with money.
Kareem: Exactly!
Dominic: And not to mention, associating with cops is pretty much the only thing that could ruin your rap career.
Kareem: Well, that’s not going to happen. Because I’m going to put an end to that sh*t. You f*** my mom, I’m going to f*** your life!

[referring to Coffee]
Kareem: I can afford to get that cop the a**-whooping he deserves. Trust me, f***ing pig stuck his d**k in the wrong blanket.

[to her teams as she leads a raid on Orlando Johnson to arrest him in a drug bust]
Detective Watts: Alright, guys. Hey, let’s keep this quiet. Don’t shoot anybody. We don’t want this sh*t on YouTube. Again.

[after Johnson breaks out of Coffee’s car and it goes viral on YouTube; Watts and Coffee are bickering in front of Captain Hill]
Captain Hill: Okay, Watts, tone it down.
Detective Watts: [to Coffee] Is your white knight saving you again?
Coffee: He’s not my white knight.
Detective Watts: So he’s your black knight? Is that a f***ing Martin Lawrence joke?

[referring to Coffee]
Vanessa Manning: Look, I’ll take a dependable, honest man over a jerk with money any day of the week, okay? He’s a great guy.
Sharon: Then ask him to pick up Kareem.

[over the phone]
Coffee: It’s just been a really weird day. This other officer at work called me a racist.
Vanessa Manning: What?
Coffee: I know. I was like, “My girlfriend is black.”
Vanessa Manning: Oh, no. You didn’t say that, did you?
Coffee: No. Of course not. Maybe. I did. I said it. I said that.

[over the phone after Vanessa has asked him to pick up Kareem from school]
Coffee: You know what? I would love to pick up Kareem at school. I really do want to get to know him better.
Vanessa Manning: Really? You don’t have too much paperwork, do you?
Coffee: Hang on a second.
[pretending to talk to Captain Hill]
Coffee: What was that? No paperwork? Hey, alright. Cool. No, I’m free. Just text me where and when, and I will be there.
Vanessa Manning: Thank you so much, James. This means a lot to me.
Coffee: Yeah, it means a lot to me too. Bye.
[to himself as he ends the call]
Coffee: f***!

[as Coffee picks up Kareem from school, Kareem pretends he’s being arrested to look tough]
Kareem: Fine! I’ll get in. But I ain’t saying sh*t without my lawyer present! Someone call Johnnie Cochran! Free Kareem! Free Kareem!
Coffee: Uh, hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Johnnie Cochran actually passed away a few years ago.
Kareem: Just drive.
Coffee: Okay.

[trying to talk to Kareem by telling him about his life]
Coffee: I am an officer of the law. Duh. Uh, I’m divorced. It happens. It was the right decision in my case. I guess I’m kind of like bruised fruit. I got a little blemish, but I’m still delicious.
[Kareem takes a photo of Coffee on his phone]

Kareem: Man, I saw this dope-a** Nic Cage movie, where he was a cop, and he threatens these h**kers with his gun for free BJs and sh*t.
Coffee: You are of course referring to Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. Well, that’s not real life.

[as he’s driving Kareem]
Coffee: Interesting neighborhood. Very down to earth. You’re sure your friend lives around here?
Kareem: What’s wrong? You can’t find a Starbucks?
Coffee: You live in the village.
Kareem: Yeah, you been there lately?

[after Kareem purposely directs Coffee to stop outside a boxing gym]
Coffee: I just want to say, I know how weird this is, you know? My dad wasn’t around either, and when my mom dated guys, I saw it as a threat. But there was one guy that I just decided, “Hey, I’m going to give this guy a chance.” And I did, and we became BFFs.
Kareem: Best friends forever?
Coffee: Best friends forever. And guess who he is now.
Kareem: Who?
Coffee: My stepdad.

Coffee: So the moral of the story is that sometimes a stepdad is a step in the right direction.
Kareem: You were BFFs with a grown-a** man? That’s so sick! There’s literally documentaries on Netflix about why that’s so sick and f***ed up.
Coffee: I think that’s a different…
Kareem: You expect us to be BF… f*** out of my face, man.
[gets out of the car]
Coffee: Uh, good talk. I’m just going to wait here.

[filming himself as he enters the boxing gym]
Kareem: Welcome back to my channel. Ki**er Kareem here. Remember when I told you about that white cop who was humping my mom? Well, now you see what happens when you f*** with me. Oh, and feel free to hit the like button and subscribe.

[inside the boxing gym, Kareem finds Johnson and his thugs interrogating a beaten up cop]
Kareem: Orlando, I need your help, man. I got a mess that needs cleaning.
Orlando Johnson: Alright, hold on. You need to get out of here and forget you ever saw any of this sh*t.
Rodney: Word.
Kareem: I was hoping I didn’t have to spell it out for you, but since it seems like you’re cool with f***ing up cops, I’d like to add one to the list!

[after Coffee goes into the gym, which leads to a shootout and Coffee and Kareem make a run for it]
Coffee: Kareem, keep running! Go!
Kareem: Get away from me! They’re shooting at you, not me!
Coffee: They’re shooting at both of us because of you!

[as they are running away from Johnson and his thugs]
Kareem: My first heart attack. We never had to run this long in gym class!

[Coffee and Kareem hide in the boot of a car, the car owner returns to find his window smashed]
Angry Man: I knew I shouldn’t have parked here. f***ing Detroit. I just went to get a f***ing muffin, man!

[as they are hiding in the boot of the car]
Kareem: Back up, yoh. Your d**k is rubbing against my a**.
Coffee: Well then, turn towards me.
Kareem: I don’t want to rub d**ks either!
Coffee: That’s what you’re concerned about?!

[after he realizes he dropped his phone when they were being chased]
Kareem: They’ll find out where I live. My mom’s in trouble! You going to take that chance? You need to wise the f*** up, limp d**k.
Coffee: Sh*t, we got to get your mom.

[as Coffee is trying to commandeer the car from the owner of the car]
Angry Man: I’m going to call the cops, that’s what I’m going to do.
Coffee: Great idea. Call the cops. And poof! Magic, I’m here!
[points to Coffee’s badge]
Kareem: Badge! Come on, man.
Angry Man: Dude, you can buy that anywhere. Looks like a costume.
Coffee: I am an officer of the law!

[as Coffee and Kareem take his car]
Angry Man: You just going to take everything? I’m wearing a V-neck sweater in this neighborhood. Thank you very much
Coffee: Bye! It’s been a pleasure!

[as they arrive at Vanessa’s place]
Coffee: We got to get your mom out of the house as quickly as possible, so just play nice. Trust me. I deal with sh*t like this all the time.
Kareem: You probably run away from sh*t like this too.
Coffee: Well, running’s clearly a foreign concept to you.

[after she sees on the news that Coffee is now a suspect in Kareem’s kidnapping]
Vanessa Manning: You need to start talking right the f*** now!
Coffee: Alright, this all started when your son tried to have me killed because he saw us having s*x this morning.
Vanessa Manning: What?!

Kareem: Mom, we need to ditch this fool, and get the hell out of here! I suggest a quick carb-load. We don’t know when we’ll eat again!
Coffee: We do need to get out of here, all three of us! It’s not safe here.
Vanessa Manning: Okay! Okay! I don’t know what the f*** is going on, but I’m calling the police.
Coffee: That’s not a good idea.

Kareem: Mom, we got to go!
Vanessa Manning: You are grounded for the rest of your natural black life!

Vanessa Manning: Oh, why did I date a white guy?! My friend, Sharon, was right. All of you are f***ed up!

[as Rodney rings Vanessa’s doorbell]
Orlando Johnson: What the f*** are you doing? Why would you ring the doorbell like we’re delivering Amazon packages? You know what we’re coming to do, man.
Rodney: What if they think like Girl Scout Cookies, coming downstairs?
Dee: No fingerprints, man.
Orlando Johnson: Thank you, don’t touch sh*t!

[as Rodney is cleaning the doorbell, it starts ringing again]
Dee: Sh*t, you’re ringing the doorbell like it’s Halloween looking like Ja Rule, “Where would I be without looking-a**, m*therf***er.”
Rodney: Why you all picking on me? My mental health is low!

[after Kareem tasers Vanessa in order to get them out of the house]
Coffee: What were you thinking back there?
Kareem: You can’t reason with a mad black woman. There’s like six Tyler Perry movies about that!
Coffee: But you don’t tase your mom. There’s a line, and that is so far past it.

[after they break into Vanessa’s house]
Orlando Johnson: [to Dee] Hey, let me ask you a question. Why are you eating? I said don’t touch sh*t, and now you’re touching sh*t!
Rodney: Is that cornbread?
Dee: Yeah, it’s warm too.
Orlando Johnson: Put the sh*t down, we got to go.
Rodney: He got his fingerprints all over the plate.
Orlando Johnson: That’s a good point. Let’s take the plate and the fork.
Dee: Come on, man, I’ve been craving carbs. My girl got me on this Keto bullsh*t.

[to Kareem, referring to the motel]
Coffee: Look, it’s the safest place I could think of. At least in terms of laying low, not in terms of hepatitis.

Kareem: You need to stop being a p***y, so we can find out who’s dirty and take them out.
Coffee: Remember what happened last time you tried to take someone out? We wound up in a seedy motel room, that your mom and I happen to visit twice a week during her lunch break, to get away from her very high maintenance son.
Kareem: Oh, you trying to be funny.
Coffee: Can we just call a truce? And then as soon as we’re through all this we can go back to hating each other.
Kareem: Fine.

[referring to his conditions of truce with Coffee]
Kareem: First, if we survive, I want you to stay the f*** away from my mom. And second, I want you to take me to a strip club.
Coffee: Alright. I will take you to the nastiest strip club in all of Detroit. I actually know one with a good buffet. And if we survive, we’ll talk about your mom.
Kareem: No deal.
Coffee: I’m not going to say that about your mom. Okay? She’s amazing and I care about her too much.

[on the phone to Dom]
Kareem: I need you to do me a favor and sign in to Find My Phone for me. Oh. Yeah, yeah. The username is TossedSaladsBrokenHearts23.
Coffee: There was already twenty-two people with that username?

Coffee: [to Kareem] Well, you’re a d**k and an a**. You’re a dass.

[to Kareem, referring to the mace]
Coffee: Police issue. It’s very intense stuff, it can stop a bear. Evidently they’ve tested it on bears, which I don’t agree with.

[after they confront Johnson; referring to Kareem]
Orlando Johnson: Who the f*** gives a kid a gun? He’s like ten years-old!
Coffee: I gave it to him. He was going to mace me, so I didn’t have a choice.
Orlando Johnson: He’s going to end up in jail one day because of you!
Coffee: I’m not the reason he’s going to wind up in jail. Besides, it’s not even loaded.
[he pulls the trigger and the guns goes off]

[after they’ve tied up Johnson and are interrogating him]
Coffee: Imagine how delighted you’ll be when you find out that foot rubs are my love language!
Orlando Johnson: I don’t give a f*** about your love language.

Orlando Johnson: I don’t trust no cops.
Kareem: Coffee ain’t dirty. He’s the one cop that you could trust. That’s why he’s so broke and sad.
Coffee: Thank you?
Kareem: No problem.

[after Johnson confirms Watts is a dirty cop and Coffee agrees to protect him]
Orlando Johnson: Wait, why can’t I just ride in the back with y’all? Coffee, you said you’d protect me!
Coffee: Trust me, tonight, this trunk is the safest place in Detroit.
Orlando Johnson: No, wait!
[Coffee closes the trunk]
Kareem: This f***ing trunk’s getting a lot of action.

[after Vanessa wakes in the motel bathroom and reads Kareem’s note]
Kareem: [voice over] “Dear mom, I want you to know that Coffee told me to shoot you with the taser. I didn’t want to do it, but he said it was our only option! You have horrible taste in men, and he is no exception. I went with him to find the dirty cops who are after us, because he is a huge pu**y and probably couldn’t do it himself. Do not go to the police. It’s for your own safety. I’ll be back later. Love, Kareem. P.S. Sorry for the bad language.”

[as they are sat in a strip club]
Coffee: What did I tell you about the buffet? It’s not bad, right?
Kareem: Yeah, this is my f***ing scene, right here.
Coffee: Listen, the only reason we’re here is because we made a deal and I’m a man of my word. But you have to give me your word that you won’t tell your mom about this. Just tell her we went to Chuck E. Cheese.
Kareem: That’s cool.

Coffee: Since we’re here, and there are naked ladies everywhere, you got any questions? About girls? The birds and the bees?
Kareem: You’re not my dad, a**hole.
Coffee: Fair enough. Duly noted. But I should also point out, I know I’m not your dad. I don’t want to be your dad. No offense. I just, I’m terrified at the idea of having kids. I’m just afraid I would be a bad father. And I actually think there’s a lot of evidence for that right now. It’s just I don’t know how to be a parent.

Coffee: Your mom is incredible. I just, I don’t get it. I didn’t have good role models. Remember when I told you about my stepdad? I lied.
Kareem: Yeah, no sh*t.
Coffee: No, I mean I had a stepdad. I just, we weren’t best friends. He was a pretty big piece of sh*t, actually. Treated my mom like garbage. Pushed me around a lot, you know. We had to call the cops on him. A lot. That’s actually how I met Hill. He used to come in there, scare the sh*t out of my stepdad. And that’s why I became a cop.

Coffee: And when it comes to women, forget about the body. There’s so much more to women than just s*x. Just find somebody who is your real friend and partner. That’s the jackpot.
Kareem: To be honest, women scare the sh*t out of me. I mean, where do you even start?
Coffee: That’s a great question. You got to just be genuine. Be yourself. But also be curious, ask them about themselves, find out what their interests are. Right?

[to the stripper walking past them]
Coffee: Hey, excuse me. My friend here would like to practice with a lady.
Thursday: The Champagne room’s one fifty, but that doesn’t include extras.
Coffee: I meant practice talking with a lady.
Thursday: Well, you know, money talks too, sweetie.
Coffee: Of course. Yes, and here you go.

Thursday: What’s your name, sugar?
Kareem: Um, Kareem. What’s yours?
Thursday: Thursday.
Kareem: Oh. Tell me about yourself, Thursday.
Thursday: I was born and raised in Detroit, and I have an Associate’s Degree in Biology, and I’m studying to be a veterinarian.
Kareem: Hm, that’s interesting. What do you do for fun?
Thursday: I like to jog. I’m really into CSI: New York. I love me some Gary Sinise.
Kareem: Sinise is the best. How much to look at your pu**y?
Thursday: Five dollars.
Coffee: No, no, no! What? Did you hear anything I said?

[after Hill pulls his gun out on Coffee]
Coffee: He’s dirty? You and you are dirty?
Detective Watts: Honestly, Hill wanted to include you. And he suggested it, and I laughed for like ten minutes.

[after they find out Hill is also a dirty cop]
Captain Hill: I tried dropping hints. Remember when you asked me how could I afford that Jaguar, and I told you drug money?
Coffee: Yeah, that was a good hint.
[after which Watts shoots Hill]

[as Kareem is driving them away from Watts]
Coffee: Slow down! I’m dying!
Kareem: If you die on me, Coffee, I’m going to f***ing kill you! They have my f***ing mom!

[as they are chasing Coffee and Kareem whilst driving around a roundabout]
Detective Watts: What the hell is going on? Are they chasing us or are we chasing them?
Orlando Johnson: I don’t know!

[as they are chasing each other on the roundabout trading insults over the radio speakers]
Coffee: Detective Watts is a liar and a murderer! Everything she’s saying must be taken with a grain of salt.
Detective Watts: Your ex-wife used to cover her body in grains of salt, and let half the Pistons shoot tequila shots off her!
Coffee: That is a lie. They were not basketball players!
[takes the radio comm from Coffee]
Kareem: Give me that sh*t. Detective Watts is just mad because she looks like an old-a** Taylor Swift on meth.

[referring to Vanessa, after she beat and tied them up, talking to Johnson over the phone]
Rodney: This b*tch is crazy. Don’t f*** with no single mother with kids. I’m telling you, it’s not worth it. It only ends one way, and that’s your head in the toilet, eating human sh*t!

[as Vanessa is leaving with Kareem]
Coffee: Kareem, come on. We’re a team! We’re like Crockett and Stubbs.
Vanessa Manning: James, goodbye.
[to Kareem]
Vanessa Manning: And put your seat belt on. Don’t think I forgot about that taser.

[after Vanessa and Kareem are kidnapped, Coffee calls Watts to trade his life for them]
Coffee: [filming himself] To the good people of Detroit, Michigan, this is James Coffee, formerly of the Detroit Metro Police Department. For the past three months, I’ve been dating Vanessa Manning. Her son Kareem and I have an understandably fraught relationship, but we’re working on it. He sees me as a threat. It’s a dynamic that happens all the time. I’m reading a book about it. I highly recommend it. I’ll put a link in the comments. The point is it was never like a kidnapper-kidnappee kind of dynamic. I’ve come to realize that I love the two of them more than anything else in the world, and I’m about to prove it.

[over the radio speakers]
Coffee: Send over the woman and child.
[the radio speaker screeches loudly]
Detective Watts: Nope, you got to hold your b*tch mouth further from the microphone!
Coffee: Oh, this is a different one than the one in my squad car. It’s a different brand radio. Don’t know. Does this sound okay?
Detective Watts: It’s still too close.
Coffee: Yeah, this radio’s very sensitive. Is that better?
Detective Watts: That’s better.
Coffee: Okay, great.

Coffee: I trade my life for theirs, that’s the deal.
Detective Watts: The deal is, they’re going to walk over, after you get out of the f***ing car.
Coffee: I feel we’re on different pages. I think that if I get halfway there, then you can release them. Then I will come the rest of the way.
Detective Watts: That’s like a Helen Keller square dance that I don’t want to be a part of.

[as Watts is threatening to kill Kareem]
Coffee: If they die, we all die.
Detective Watts: You don’t have the balls to pull some gangster sh*t, Coffee.
Coffee: I got the balls, Watts.
[gets out of the car]
Coffee: I got a couple of big, green, oval-shaped balls.
Vanessa, Watts: What?!
Coffee: Grenades! Okay? I’m talking about grenades.

Detective Watts: Guys, do not be scared. He’s bluffing.
Coffee: These grenades are real.
Detective Watts: They’re not. This is a man who j**ks off to Glenn Close. We are safe. We’ve never been safer.

Coffee: You know what’s funny? I didn’t think I actually had the grenades to end all this, but Kareem made me realize I’ve had the grenades all along. I just needed something worth fighting for.
[Watts shoots Coffee in the shoulder and he drops a grenade]
Detective Watts: That was a good shot!
Coffee: F***! Run! Run!
[everyone takes cover and the grenade rolls over to Dee’s feet]
Dee: I ain’t afraid of no grenade…
[the grenade explodes blowing Dee up]

[after the explosion Coffee, Vanessa and Kareem are running away]
Kareem: I’m sorry I doubted your balls, Coffee.
Coffee: That’s okay.

[after Johnson finds Coffee, Vanessa and Kareem and holds them at gunpoint]
Vanessa Manning: Orlando, this isn’t you. This is not like you at all.
Orlando Johnson: You don’t know me, lady.
Vanessa Manning: I do know. A mother knows. I know that you’re scared.
Kareem: That’s right, mom. You a b*tch, man! You a b*tch!
Orlando Johnson: Shut up! You don’t know sh*t. You just a little-a** kid with little-a** kid nuts!

[as Johnson, Coffee and Kareem are bickering]
Vanessa Manning: Shut the f*** up, already! Alright. Jesus! The level of insecurity with you guys is unbelievable! “I’m a b*tch, you’re a b*tch! No, I got a big d**k! No, my big d**k hangs low like King Kong!” Shut the f*** up with all the posturing! No one is as tough as they say they are. You’re all soft! And Orlando, you’re not going to shoot anybody, okay? I see you. I see straight through you. You’re just like my son.
Orlando Johnson: Because we both gangster?
Vanessa Manning: No! No, because you’re a good boy. Both of you, you’re good boys. You’re just insecure as hell, and so you put on these tough acts to protect yourself from getting hurt. But, hey, I have a plan. Why don’t we put our egos aside, and get the f*** out of here? Because your crazy-a** boss is going to kill us all!

[after Johnson is unable to shoot them]
Orlando Johnson: I ain’t never shot nobody in my life.
Coffee: That’s okay. I’m soft too.
Vanessa Manning: Yeah, we know that, James.

Orlando Johnson: I wanted to be a dentist.
Vanessa Manning: Oh, that’s amazing!
Orlando Johnson: I wanted to fix people’s teeth and sh*t, right?
Kareem: You got the teeth for it.
Orlando Johnson: Thank you.
[after which he agrees to help them escape]

[as the Canadians Watts is selling her drugs to arrive]
Jerome: Madame Watts.
[tries to speak French]
Detective Watts: I thought I could fake it. I thought I could just start saying stuff, and you guys would respond, but I guess it’s a real language. Anyway, do we have a deal?
Jerome: [laughs] No f***ing way. Look at that sh*t. Why is it all burny?
Detective Watts: Burny?
Jerome: It’s burnt. Like you roasted this over a f***ing campfire, singing songs and sh*t.
Detective Watts: Though charred on the outside, this will f*** you up, I promise. It’s artisanal. We took a classic and just set it on fire. It’s kind of like a coke brûlée.

[as she’s trying to negotiate selling the drugs]
Detective Watts: It’s eighteen point five, and that’s it. Standing at my power at nineteen percent, and no f***ing further. Twenty-five percent, because I need to go home and watch a Nancy Meyers movie and erase this day.

[as the police arrive leading to a shootout]
Detective Watts: Listen you French f***s, I know you’re just finding out about feminism and lung cancer, but I’m taking the money! This is mine, you m*therf***ers!

[as there’s a shootout happening between Watts and the drug dealers]
Coffee: Okay, here’s the plan. Orlando and I, we run out, guns blazing. Create a diversion. But I promise, we’re all going to make it out of here alive. Well, most of us. At least half of us are definitely going to make it out of here alive.
Kareem: Why would you say that?
Vanessa Manning: Which f***ing half? What half?!
Coffee: Yeah, you’re right. It’s not a good plan.

[as Coffee is about to step out in the gunfire to create a diversion]
Kareem: I got to say, man, if you die, I’d be pretty pi**ed.
Coffee: I love you too.
Kareem: I ain’t saying all that now.
Coffee: Yeah, but I get it.
Vanessa Manning: Aren’t you trained for sh*t like this?
Coffee: Let’s do this!

[after Kareem and Vanessa escape but Coffee gets held up by Watts who is crying]
Detective Watts: I’m at the end of my f***ing rope, man! I don’t know how this happened!
Coffee: Listen, you made some horrible choices. But it’s not too late. The department has some great mental health resources. You might do a little time, but we can turn your life around.
Detective Watts: [stops crying] I am f***ing with you!
Coffee: F***! I knew it.
Detective Watts: You idiot. You had no idea.

[after the building explodes, and Coffee emerges on fire]
Vanessa Manning: James, I’m so glad you’re okay. Oh my God.
Coffee: [to Kareem] Are you crying? Who’s soft now, huh?
Officer #1: Are you alright?
Coffee: No!

Officer #2: Officer Coffee will corroborate your role as an informant?
Orlando Johnson: Hell, yeah, he’ll corroborate. The f***ing kid will tell you too! All that’s behind me, man. I’m going to be a dentist. I decided. Just recently. I’m going to be a dentist. I’m like the mold in the whole situation.

Coffee: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
[referring to his burnt face]
Vanessa Manning: Well, let’s see how this all heals up first.
[they both laugh]
Coffee: Ow, don’t make me laugh! It causes more chunks to fall off.
Vanessa Manning: Have you seen yourself yet?
Coffee: Oh, it’s going to be fine. I’ll just put some aloe on it.
[Vanessa kisses him]

[as he sees Vanessa and Coffee kissing]
Kareem: Coffee, I want those hands where I can see them! Damn. How is this more gross than when I caught y’all b*ning?

[after Watts is about to shoot Coffee, but Vanessa grabs his gun and shoots her repeatedly]
Vanessa Manning: Stay away from my family, b*tch!
Coffee: That was hot.
Kareem: [laughs] Now that is what the f*** I’m talking about!
Vanessa Manning: Hey! Language.
Kareem: You just shot… Yes, ma’am.

[last lines; to Coffee and Kareem]
Vanessa Manning: And don’t think I don’t see the look y’all are giving each other. I see everything.
Kareem: Coffee, you have got your hands full.
Coffee: Yeah. So does this mean the deal’s over? You going to let me see your mom, and you’re definitely not going to try to have me murdered?
Kareem: Just don’t give me a f***ing reason to.
[they fist pump]

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