Coming 2 America (2021) Best Quotes – ‘Look who done come up in here.’

Starring: Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, Jermaine Fowler, KiKi Layne, Leslie Jones, Shari Headley, John Amos, Tracy Morgan, Wesley Snipes, James Earl Jones

OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆

Story:

Comedy sequel directed by Craig Brewer. The story follows Prince Akeem Joffer (Eddie Murphy), who is set to become King of Zamunda when he discovers he has a son he never knew about in America,a street savvy Queens native named Lavelle (Jermaine Fowler). Honoring his father’s, King Jaffe Joffer (James Earl Jones), dying wish to groom this son as the crown prince, Akeem and Semmi (Arsenio Hall) set off to America once again.

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Best Quotes

Prince Akeem: Today, we celebrate thirty years of Zamundan prosperity. Thirty years of service to our great nation. And thirty years of delicious fast food. We want to welcome you all to McDowell’s Zamunda.

Cleo McDowell: The McDowell’s menu is in no way influenced by the McDonald’s menu. They’ve got Egg McMuffins. We’ve got Egg McStuffins.

Semmi: Behold! Prince Akeem in his natural element, cowering at the mercy of the women in his life.

Prince Akeem: And how is my father today?
Semmi: He has already ordered my execution three times.
Prince Akeem: Oh, then he must be feeling better.

Nexdorian Lieutenant: Presenting the supreme leader of Nexdoria. The conqueror of countries and hearts. The wrestler of lions. The tamer of elephants. The inspiration for Mufasa. The most well-endowed man in Africa, General Izzi.

General Izzi: The shame must be unbearable, as a man, as a king, without an heir with a nut sack.
Prince Akeem: Thank you for your visit, General. Seeing you brings to mind all of my father’s favorite curses for you. To call you a s**t stain brought him much joy.

King Jaffe Joffer: My time has come, my son. You must heed my words before I’m gone.
Semmi: Please don’t leave us so soon, Your Highness. Zamunda needs you.
King Jaffe Joffer: Oh, shut up, Semmi! You don’t have to suck up to me anymore. I’ll be dead soon. Why couldn’t it be you, Semmi?
Baba: Yes, Your Majesty. His life is far too worthless. His death would make me smile.

King Jaffe Joffer: The throne must pass to a male heir.
Prince Akeem: Yes, Father. A male heir. Once again, I apologize to you for all of the shame and disappointment that my offsprings genetic makeup has caused you.

King Jaffe Joffer: My son, it appears your shortcomings in masculinity have turned out to be unfounded.
Baba: I seen it in a vision. You gots a son.
King Jaffe Joffer: It is true. You have a son, Akeem.
Baba: A b*****d son.
Prince Akeem: That is impossible! The only woman I have ever lain with is Lisa. Father, I did not sow my royal oats.

Semmi: Remember in Queens, night after night, you were looking for the perfect woman?
Prince Akeem: Yes.
Semmi: Well, I too was, how can I say this? I was looking for the perfect v***na. Or any v***na. We scoured the far reaches of that loathsome city, searching rather unsuccessfully for the woman of your dreams.

Semmi: I may not have been thinking straight. In my defense, it had been weeks since the last time I was tended to by the royal bathers. But at the time, it seemed like a good plan.

Mary Junson: [to Akeem] I hope you like pumpkin pie. Because you going to get a whole slice.

Prince Akeem: That is not what happened, Father. I remember meeting this morally bereft woman, but there was no inappropriate mating. She offered me some of her ceremonial herbs. And then, if memory serves, a wild boar burst into the room. It came and jumped into my lap. And then it began to ram me. And ram me, and ram me. Ramming, and ramming!

Prince Akeem: [as he’s choking Semmi] You fool, what have you done to me?!
King Jaffe Joffer: Go on, son. Just kill him.
Baba: Kill him!

Prince Akeem: So I actually have a son?
Baba: A b*****d son.
Prince Akeem: Why was his existence hidden from me all these years?
King Jaffe Joffer: I was hoping you would put a stem on an apple of your own.

Baba: General Izzi, he will use the passing of our great king as a sign to attack the weak one.
Prince Akeem: The weak one? Am I the weak one?
King Jaffe Joffer: I spoiled you, my son. You are not strong, or ruthless, as I am. You will be assassinated.
Baba: Within a week.
King Jaffe Joffer: Month, tops.

King Jaffe Joffer: The end is near. My funeral should be spectacular.
Prince Akeem: Yeah, it will, Papa.
King Jaffe Joffer: Let’s have it now while I’m alive.

Morgan Freeman: With the passing of the great king, the world changed forever. When he died, no one ever smiled again. Vacations were canceled. Holidays ignored. People didn’t even have sex anymore.

Prince Akeem: I just lost the greatest man in my life. Soon, Nexdorian warriors will assassinate me. And I have a child on the other side of the world.
Semmi: Take heart in your grief. You are king now. Be as your father. Bark orders at me. Throw things at me. It will make you happy.
Prince Akeem: Prepare the royal jet. We are going back to America.
Semmi: Oh, hell no, Your Majesty!

Lavelle Junson: Today is my birthday. And you forgot.
Uncle Reem: Listen to me, young Jedi, okay? What you need to do is learn to relax. I’m your uncle. You stay on the ground with me. You dig it, son?

Lavelle Junson: [during his job interview] So just give me a chance, Mr. Duke.
Mr. Duke: Oh, my God. Please. My father is Mr. Duke. And my grandfather, and great-uncle, who founded Duke and Duke. But, please, just call me Calvin.

Lavelle Junson: So you’re saying daddy never donated a building to get you into an Ivy League school?
Mr. Duke: No. Yeah. Well, there was a small off-campus library.
Lavelle Junson: And daddy never had to sneak you into an overpriced rehab facility to cover up a cocaine addiction, Calvin?
Mr. Duke: It was oxy, and my mom took me.

Lavelle Junson: Kiss my a**, Calvin. Hey, you know something? You’ve been judging me since I walked in here. Which sucks because I am so motivated. You know what, I just can’t wait for them to find blackface photos of you from the office party.
Mr. Duke: I was Will Smith’s Aladdin, okay?
Lavelle Junson: Peace, Calvin.
Mr. Duke: There was blueface over the black.

Clarence: In this political climate, Black man can’t be taking no a**-whipping from no white man. It would’ve caused a riot. I was ready to riot anyway. I wanted to get me one of them flat-screen TVs.

Clarence: [as Akeem and Semmi enter the shop] Well, I’ll be damned! Look who done come up in here.
Saul: Hey, it’s Kunta Kinte and Ebola.
Clarence: Famine and Blood Diamond.
Morris: Nelson Mandela and Winnie.
Nice Man: Those hungry babies with the flies on their face.
Clarence: Hey. Oh, oh, oh, oh. That’s too much, man. You stepped over the line now. We don’t be talking that kind of s**t about the hungry babies. You’re going to have to get out my chair.
Morris: Politically incorrect.
Sweets: Somebody need to whip your a**.

Semmi: America has certainly changed since our last visit. Your Black president finally united this great country.
Clarence: Yeah, but it’s all gone to hell now.
Morris: We all going to die. Just don’t know how.

Semmi: Akeem now is an African king.
Clarence: Well, I’ll be damned. You got any kids? I got kids. In fact, I got one granddaughter
used to be my grandson. They can turn your p**is into a v***na now. It’s science.
Morris: I bet they could fix them long, sloppy titties y’all got in Africa.
Saul: You can’t even squeeze a tit nowadays. It’ll get you fired.
Prince Akeem: I’m so sorry you can no longer indiscriminately touch a woman’s body at your every whim.
Clarence: Oh, it’s okay. I got it in when I was young.

Prince Akeem: I’ve just discovered that I may have a b*****d son here in this land, conceived during my last visit.
Sweets: The long arm of the family court bring them back every time. How much child support she getting from you?
Semmi: The king pays no child support.
Morris: No child support for thirty years, and you came back? You is a dummy!

Prince Akeem: I am King Akeem Joffer, king of Zamunda. And I believe that you… What is your name?
Lavelle Junson: It’s Lavelle. Lavelle Junson.
Prince Akeem: Lavelle Junson, are the heir to the throne of Zamunda. My firstborn child, and my only son. Yes, my son.

Lavelle Junson: [referring to Akeem] So you know this man?
Mary Junson: I definitely know this man. I know this man all the way live. You know, I know this man all up in the crevice.

See more Coming 2 America Quotes

Prince Akeem: Do you think Lisa will be understanding?
Semmi: What is not to understand?
[cut to after Akeem has told Lisa about Lavelle]
Lisa: You lied to me!
Prince Akeem: I did not exactly lie to you.

Lisa: You have an illegitimate son. You wouldn’t be the first king to have one.
Prince Akeem: That is true.
Lisa: Besides, we hadn’t even met yet.
Prince Akeem: Exactly. We hadn’t met yet. It’s not like I cheated on you. This happened before we even met.
Lisa: And it’s not like you’re the first man I’ve ever been with.
Prince Akeem: Right, I… Woh, woh, woh. What did you just say, about the other men?

Lisa: So I guess, you didn’t really do anything wrong, did you?
Prince Akeem: It was a totally honest mistake that can happen to anyone, whose best friend introduced him to a strange woman, who drugged him, and had sex with him.

Mary Junson: [as she’s hugging Lisa] I’m going to hug you because I’m a hugger. Hey, Queen! I’m sorry I slept with your man. It’s okay. It’s okay.

Prince Akeem: Tinashe, this is your b*****d brother from America. And, Princess Omma, this is your b*****d brother from America. Now, this is my eldest daughter, Princess Meeka. Meeka, this is your…
Lavelle Junson: B*****d brother. They know. I think they get the idea.

Mary Junson: And my name is Mary. How you doing? Just call me your second mom.
Lisa: But you really don’t have to, girls.
Mary Junson: I mean, but you should though, because I kind of am.
Prince Akeem: Well, look at us. Just one big, happy Zamundan-American aristocratic blended family.
Mary Junson: Just like the Kardashians!

Mary Junson: I am so hungry, I could eat the a** out of a zebra.

Mary Junson: So is anybody going to tell me why these mashed potatoes is black?
Lisa: It’s caviar.
Mary Junson: It’s cava-what?
Lavelle Junson: Caviar, mom.
Mary Junson: You know, our cousin named that.

Lavelle Junson: Mom, I’m freaking out right now because these three girls, they in my room right now, and they just offered to bathe me.
Lavelle Junson: Okay, baby. First of all, calm down. Okay? You know we in another country. And you know they have different traditions, and customs, the way that they do stuff. You need to roll with it. This is a princely thing. They bathe you, okay? Yes. So be a prince.

Oha: Presenting Lavelle Junson of Queens!
Lavelle Junson: And my moms.
Oha: And his moms.

Mary Junson: Why your mama so uppity?
Tinashe: What is “uppity”?
Lisa: I am not uppity.
Mary Junson: Uppity b**ch say what?
Lisa: What?
Lavelle Junson: [laughing] You said it.
Mary Junson: We do that in Queens.

General Izzi: King Akeem, I have come to give you congratulations for locating one of your lost sperm. I too wonder about my own stray bullets.
Prince Akeem: Thank you for your kind words.

General Izzi: [as Levelled has agreed to marry his daughter] Then let us proceed! A semiautomatic shotgun wedding it will be!

Meeka: [to Akeem] Nexdoria is our greatest threat. To broker a peace hinging on the testosterone-clouded whims of a son you barely even know is foolish.

Totatsi Bibinyana: Good evening, my neighbors. I’m Totatsi Bibinyana. In a most promising twist, the Zamunda News Network has confirmed that King Akeem has a son. While it is too early to determine whether the boy possesses any strength, intelligence, or capability whatsoever, what we do know is that he is a man. And as far as Zamundan royalty is concerned, that’s good enough.

Prince Akeem: We will teach you how to walk like a prince.
Lavelle Junson: Yoh, what’s wrong with the way I walk now?
Semmi: You walk like an American pimp.
Lavelle Junson: You dress like a slave from the future. Old Jar Jar Binks looking a**.

Prince Akeem: Only when you can retrievethe the whiskers from a resting lion will you be ready to become prince.
Lavelle Junson: This is a joke. This is a joke, because I know your soft a** ain’t never do nothing like that.
Prince Akeem: Oh, yes. I did. On my very first attempt.
Semmi: Well… Yes. First attempt. Very brave.

Lavelle Junson: I come from a long line of broke-a** nobodies. What the hell I was thinking that I could have this? Or any of it? Hey, for real. Just cut this off, alright? Just cut it off.
Mirembe: You want to get rid of the royal princely braid? Well, this is fair. To be honest, it wasn’t a great look on you. Just one of the many backward Zamundan traditions.
Lavelle Junson: Hell, yeah. How long have you felt that way? You know how itchy this is? It’s a rat tail.

Lavelle Junson: You know, my whole life, I had dreams that my pops would show up, and take me and my mom away to a whole new life. And come to find out, he’s a king. To a whole damn country. And the only way to meet his expectations is to walk with a stick up my a**, or get myself killed. This ain’t my way, Mirembe. And I can’t be what he wants me to be.
Mirembe: Then perhaps be not as King Akeem, but as Prince Akeem.

Mirembe: He flew across the sea to find his true love. Now there, in the barbaric land of Queens did Prince Akeem battle bug-eyed burglars, foul-mouthed barbers, and sexist men of the cloth, to win the heart of his true love, Lisa McDowell of Queens.

Mirembe: [to Lavelle] Walk your own path. Be not the prince of Zamunda. Be the prince from Queens.

Lavelle Junson: If it pleases Your Majesty, I present to you Kareem Junson. AKA, Uncle Reem, my royal consigliere.
Uncle Reem: That’s Italian for “mack daddy mentor”.

Totatsi Bibinyana: According to our ZNN source inside the palace, we are hearing, and I quote, “The boy been balling on this princely-a** test ever since his handsome, and mad smart uncle showed up.”
Semmi: That is absurd, Totatsi. Who is your source?

Semmi: Who do you think you are, Reem, going behind the king’s back?
Uncle Reem: You keep talking slick. And when my man is running this place, you going to go from royal a** kisser, to royal a** wiper.
Semmi: No, no. I will do no such thing.
Uncle Reem: Yeah, well, I eat a lot of fried food, so don’t come at me with anything less than two-ply.

Uncle Reem: [to Akeem] Now let me hear you say, “Hey, ho.”
Prince Akeem: Hey, ho.
Mary Junson: That’s right. That’s how we do it in Queens though.
Prince Akeem: [turns to Mary] Hey, ho.
Lavelle Junson: Oh, no, no, no, no.
Uncle Reem: No, don’t do that. That’s his mother.
Prince Akeem: Oh, don’t say it to…
Uncle Reem: No, not to his mother.

Semmi: You obese American, you.
Uncle Reem: Yeah, for twenty-five cents a day, I could sponsor-feed your scrawny a**.

Prince Akeem: My one question is, how will you conquer your fear?
Lavelle Junson: I’m not. It’s a damn lion.
Prince Akeem: Well, I found it is helpful to think of them as just being big house cats.
Lavelle Junson: Oh? Just big house cats? Really? When did you figure that out? Was that on your tenth or eleventh try?
Prince Akeem: I know not what you speak of. I was successful my first time, just like my father.

Lavelle Junson: You know, Mirembe, my royal barber, told me the story that your pops wanted you to marry a Nexdorian girl, so you bounced to Queens to find a wife on your own terms.
Prince Akeem: I wanted to find more than a wife. To find someone that I connected with on every level. Someone who knew where I was coming from, even though we came from entirely two different places. And one might say I was looking for myself, as well.

Lavelle Junson: Look, man, you haven’t liked me since I got here. And I get that. But it ain’t my fault your dad knocked up my mom and dragged my a** back to Africa.
Meeka: Well, no one is asking you to stay.
Lavelle Junson: It’s all good, little sis. All good. I’ll be gone in a minute. Because I’m about to be eaten by a lion!
Meeka: I hope so!

Lavelle Junson: You really think I’m going to fail, don’t you?
Meeka: I have never said that, out loud.

Lavelle Junson: People writing me off because of the way I talk, or where I’m from. But you got no idea what I’m talking about, because you a princess.
Meeka: Princesses can be written off just as much as anyone. I have been preparing my whole life to be standing where you are in this moment. But you are right. It is not fair for me to blame you for my father’s mistake. Not that you are a mistake. Well, you kind of are a mistake.

Meeka: [after Levelle’s passed the lion test] What is this?
Lavelle Junson: What every dangerous house cat likes.
Meeka: Cat food.

Prince Akeem: He is almost ready to become a prince.
Lavelle Junson: Wait. Almost?
Baba: It is time for umbajuntoo.

Lavelle Junson: What’s umbajuntoo?
Prince Akeem: Ceremonial circumcision.
Lavelle Junson: Ceremonial…
Uncle Reem: That mean they’re going to sharpen your tool, nephew.

Lavelle Junson: Hey, Ma, tell them we already did this!
Mary Junson: That’s okay, baby. We love it here, right? Let them take a little bit off the top.
Baba: These are the foreskins of your forefathers.
Mary Junson: Ew.

Prince Akeem: You just completed the final princely test. The test of courage.
Lavelle Junson: Courage? Need I remind you I was face to face with a man-eating lion?
Prince Akeem: For one to put his member in danger is also a test of courage, yes? You are willing to sacrifice what is most sacred.
Lavelle Junson: My p**is?
Prince Akeem: Your pride.

Mirembe: Have you seen a Zamundan movie? Total baboon dung.
Lavelle Junson: So, what, like, nothing over a thirty percent on Rotten Papayas?
Mirembe: American cinema is the best.
Lavelle Junson: The best? That is like the most blasphemous thing I’ve ever heard. What do we have besides superhero s**t, remakes, and sequels to old movies nobody asked for?
Mirembe: This is true about sequels. If something is good…
Levelle, Mirembe: Why ruin it?

Lavelle Junson: What do you like?
Bopoto: Whatever you like.
Lavelle Junson: Okay, I’ll back up. Bopoto, what’s your favorite movie?
Bopoto: Whatever is your favorite movie.
Lavelle Junson: Is there a goal you have? Is there a business that you want to start?
Bopoto: Whatever business you’d like to start.
Lavelle Junson: I want to have a connection with the person that I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.
Bopoto: But I am just a wife.

Lavelle Junson: I need to find my mom. I need to find my Uncle Reem. We got to bust out of this bulls**t, man.
Mirembe: Why? Where are we going?
Lavelle Junson: Home. A home that we can build together.

Semmi: Prince Lavelle Junson was seen fleeing with the royal groomer. And he took his Uncle Reem, and that wretched woman with him, as well.
Prince Akeem: Show respect. She is still the mother of my son.
Semmi: She took the royal jet.
Prince Akeem: That thieving b**ch.

Prince Akeem: He could’ve told me about this groomer. But, no, instead he runs off to America without a word to me. It is the most selfish act. Unworthy of a Joffer! It is spineless!
Lisa: Like father, like son.

Lisa: What happened to you, Akeem? You were supposed to change things. You were supposed to bring this kingdom to the twenty-first century. But instead, you push our daughter aside, someone who has dedicated her life to this country. And because she’s a woman, she can’t be your heir?
Prince Akeem: I cannot ignore hundreds of years of tradition. I am the ruler of this land. I must be strong.

Lisa: I get it. You’re the king. Well, I’ll tell you what. There are a lot of other beds in this castle. I suggest you find another one.
Prince Akeem: Would you dare banish me from my own bedroom? Are you a fool?
Lisa: Do you see me hopping on one leg and barking like a dog?

Prince Akeem: You are the king of your own castle.
Cleo McDowell: And the troubles never stop, Akeem. When I introduced the McFlurby, the McDonald’s lawyers came after me, the same way this General Izzi is coming after you. Cease-and-desist letters, copyright infringement. I mean, the McFlurby is nothing like the McFlurry. We put our toppings on the bottom.

Cleo McDowell: And I’m the boss.
Prince Akeem: And I am the MF’ing king.
Cleo McDowell: You damn right you are!

Clarence: I only like redbone gals.
Morris: Oh, see, that’s where we part. I like my women Black. I want a woman so Black, when you make love, you need a flashlight. I’m looking for the good stuff, man.

Clarence: [referring to Akeem] Who the hell he think he talking to? Coming in here.
Morris: Just because he a king. I got a dog named King.
Clarence: Yeah, he ain’t the king of this shop. I’m the king of this shop.
Morris: Exactly.
Saul: He was nicer when he was a prince.

Mirembe: Is this a pious house of God?
Uncle Reem: If “pious” means cheap, well, then you right.

Meeka: My apologies, General. Prince Lavelle is currently indisposed.
General Izzi: Indisposed? Really? I will not continue to be jerked around like a howler monkey grazing in a field of horny goat weeds. Now, you tell me, where is King Akeem?

Reverend Brown: We are gathered here today for the meeting of these two beautiful souls, pressed together like a pair of sumptuous beings.

Lavelle Junson: Look, I just want to apologize. I know this isn’t exactly the wedding you’ve always imagined.
Mirembe: I don’t know why you would apologize. I’d always imagined there’d be a womanizing, sexist officiant leading a very strange ceremony in black socks. It couldn’t be more perfect.

Semmi: [to Izzi] Defend yourself, you sweat from a baboon’s balls.

Prince Akeem: [as Lavelle is about to marry Mirembe] Stop!
Mary Junson: Did you run here all the way from Africa?

Prince Akeem: [to Lavelle] The burdens of my country are not yours to carry. And if you want to stay here in Queens and marry this fine Zamundan woman, I shall not stand in your path. I’ve been ruled by fear for far too long. It’s time for me to start becoming my own king. My own man. Just as you did, my son.

Prince Akeem: Mary, Mary, if our son wants to be married in this glorious house of… This is a house of God, isn’t it?
Mary Junson: More like a crack house of God.
Prince Akeem: Ah. Then it shall be as magnificent as a palace ceremony.

Prince Akeem: Hear me now. I am King Akeem Joffer, and I’m bestowed with great power. I shall bring Queens to Zamunda!
Reverend Brown: Where the hell is Zamunda?

Prince Akeem: I think my kingdom was safer with me gone and you in charge.
Meeka: I simply acted as my father and king has instructed.
Prince Akeem: And that is why I’ve issued a decree to Baba. When I am gone, Meeka Joffer shall rule as queen.

Meeka: And what about Prince Lavelle?
Prince Akeem: Prince Lavelle shall serve as an ambassador to America. And as your brother. Forgive an old fool. Old fool who loves you very much.

Prince Akeem: I hear the trade routes have reopened between our nations.
General Izzi: Yes. It will be a prosperous and peaceful time for us old heads. I want to thank you for releasing my sister from her canine curse.

Uncle Reem: Okay, I want y’all to put your hands together for Randy Watson!
Mary Junson: Randy Watson in here?!
Uncle Reem: And his band. Sexual Chocolate!
Morris: Oh, Lord.

Saul: [post-credits lines] Way down in the jungle deep, the lion stepped on the signified monkey’s feet. The monkey said, “Hey, you b*****d, can’t you see? You’re standing on my goddamn feet!”
[referring to Baba’s robe]
Saul: Hey, what is this, velvet?

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Coming 2 America (2021) Best Quotes – ‘Look who done come up in here.’

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