• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
MovieQuotesandMore

MovieQuotesandMore

  • Home
  • A-Z Manual
  • Movies
  • Television
  • Lists
  • Reviews
  • Trailers
  • Contact
Home / Best Quotes / Day Shift (2022) Best Movie Quotes

Day Shift (2022) Best Movie Quotes

by MovieQuotesandMore.com

FacebookTweetPinLinkedIn

Copyright Notice: It’s easy to see when our selected quotes have been copied and pasted, as you’re also copying our format, mistakes, and movie scene descriptions. If you decide to copy from us please be kind and either link back, or refer back to our site. Please check out our copyright policies here. Thanks!

Starring: Jamie Foxx, Dave Franco, Snoop Dogg, Meagan Goodd, Karla Souza, Natasha Liu Bordizzo, Oliver Masucci, Steve Howey, Scott Adkins, Zion Broadnax

OUR RATING: ★★½

Story:

Netflix action horror comedy directed by J.J. Perry. Day Shift (2022) follows hard working blue collar dad, Bud Jablonski (Jamie Foxx), who just wants to provide a good life for his daughter. But his mundane San Fernando Valley pool cleaning job is a front for his real source of income, hunting and killing vampires as part of an international Union of vampire hunters.

 

Our Favorite Quotes:

'In the end, the Devil comes for everyone.' - Audrey San Fernando (Day Shift) Click To Tweet

 

Best Quotes


 

Bud Jablonski: [after decapitating a vampire] Works every time with your old a**.
When was the last time you been to the dentist, huh?
Bud Jablonski: [as he extracts one of the vampire’s teeth] Money.


 

Audrey San Fernando: Do you know what the definition of insanity is, Sasha? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. You cling to the old ways like a tick on a dog’s a**. And look at where that’s gotten us.


 

Sasha: I made a mistake. You want this? You have it.
Audrey San Fernando: There you go again, lacking imagination. “You, our, yours.” These are words of division, darling. And divided, we are vulnerable. But together? The sky is the limit. And why rent when you can own?


 

Bud Jablonski: Who’s your favorite daddy?
Paige Jablonski: You.
Bud Jablonski: I’m your only daddy, I hope.


 

Paige Jablonski: We went to Yogurtworld.
Jocelyn Jablonski: Oh! Did you?
Bud Jablonski: Snitches get stitches. I thought we were going to keep that between us.


 

Jocelyn Jablonski: She needs stability.
Bud Jablonski: She has stability. She got you. She got me. She got Yogurtworld. Ain’t no Yogurtworld in Florida!


 

Jocelyn Jablonski: And she needs braces.
Bud Jablonski: What’s wrong with her teeth?
Jocelyn Jablonski: Her teeth are jacked up.
Bud Jablonski: She always says she likes her teeth because they look like my teeth.
Jocelyn Jablonski: That’s my point.


 

Jocelyn Jablonski: I have one more question. Paige said that there’s a porn star living in your building? How does she even know what a porn star is?
Bud Jablonski: It’s the Valley, Joss. They live amongst us.

 

'Friendships are complicated.' - Bud Jablonski (Day Shift) Click To Tweet

 

Troy: Decided to take me up on my offer?
Bud Jablonski: Not today, not tomorrow, not anytime.


 

Bud Jablonski: Like I said, Troy, Snake Eyes ain’t for sale now.
Troy: Everything’s for sale. You just have to be desperate enough.


 

Troy: Hey, smoker. That’s a nasty habit, don’t you think? He would have died from smoking if he wasn’t dead already.


 

Troy: [referring to the vampire teeth] A decade early, and a whole lot of dollars short, so I can give you like two grand for this.
Bud Jablonski: Two thousand, Troy? Two thousand? Listen, I don’t think you understand. I need cash today.
Troy: Then go and rob a bank, or do something. I’m a businessman!


 

Bud Jablonski: Big J, you ain’t changed a bit, baby. I see you. I see you. What’s happening?
Big John Elliott: You know me, cutting necks and cashing checks.


 

Dry Cleaner Mimoko: Yes?
Big John Elliott: Pink penguin puffy pants.


 

Ralph Seeger: Why should I extend you yet another lifeline?
Big John Elliott: Ralph, let me be the first to tell you. Bud here, he’s a new man.
Bud Jablonski: Yeah.
Ralph Seeger: Is that right?
Bud Jablonski: Yes, sir. Absolutely. I’m a changed man. I’ve cut out pork, and cartoons, and minimal white women.


 

Bud Jablonski: I want the night shift.
Ralph Seeger: Not on my life.
Bud Jablonski: Come on, Seeger. That’s where the big money is!
Ralph Seeger: No. Not a chance. The amount of s**t you stirred up working night shift, you expect me to let you back out there where the sun don’t shine?
Bud Jablonski: Fine. Day shift.


 

Seth: Carol, did you eat my yogurt again? I even wrote my name on the lid today, so you literally had to peel back my name to get to the yogurt. Oh, what, you can’t hear me? I’m going to fart in my yogurt tomorrow, and you’re going to eat my fart.

 

'Do you know what the definition of insanity is? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.' - Audrey San Fernando (Day Shift) Click To Tweet

 

Seth: Right, but I’m begging you to reconsider. I’m not meant for the field. I just bought an ergonomic chair with my own money. I’m all in on the desk.
Ralph Seeger: [referring to Bud] Well, that’s why I need you out there with him. Right. Someone who knows the codes to the letter.


 

Ralph Seeger: [referring to Bud] The sooner he f***s up, the sooner your sweet cheeks are in Carol’s desk. You work out?
Seth: A little.
Ralph Seeger: Yeah, thought so.


 

Seth: I got you an organic, gluten-free, paleo bran muffin.
Bud Jablonski: [as he tosses the muffin into the garbage] Really? Thank you. I was starving.
Seth: That was a six-dollar muffin.


 

Seth: The handbook says you’re supposed to blend in on the hunt. Be inconspicuous.
Bud Jablonski: You have on a suit. How’s that inconspicuous? You have on a suit. We’re in the Valley. In the summertime.
Seth: It’s a summery suit.
Bud Jablonski: A summery suit?
Seth: Juniper green. Yes.
Bud Jablonski: What is juniper green?
Seth: It’s a hue of green that I found to be complementary against my skin tone.


 

Bud Jablonski: [to Seth] You sound like Big John. Whole lot of gibberish.


 

Bud Jablonski: [to Seth] Listen, Guacamole Suit, right there on the shelf, grab that for me. Get that, and we’ll take off. And remember, whatever you do, don’t drop my s**t.
[Seth drops the box]


 

Seth: So, where are we going?
Bud Jablonski: I’m going hunting. I don’t know about you.


 

Seth: Can I offer some advice?
Bud Jablonski: No.


 

Seth: I have to be with you at all times in the field. Union rules.
Bud Jablonski: Other than keeping you alive, I don’t give a s**t about the rules.


 

Seth: I don’t believe in guns.
Bud Jablonski: You don’t believe in them?
Seth: No. They’re amoral. They’re killing machines. They’re not for me. When I was a kid, I tried shooting a squirrel with a BB gun, and I just couldn’t. Alright? I still have nightmares where I can see his little face making little squirrel noises, and I still have nightmares about it, okay?

 

'Am I just supposed to wear turtlenecks from now on? I mean, I do look good in a T-neck, but that's not sustainable.' - Seth (Day Shift) Click To Tweet

 

Audrey San Fernando: [to Troy] Did you know that a vampire cannot live without its fangs? And yet, for whatever reason, whatever cruel joke from the gods, they are the one thing we cannot regenerate. Everything that makes a vampire a predator is in its fangs. Each set is a life that could have lived a thousand lives. Lives that you had a part in ending.


 

Audrey San Fernando: [to Troy] The way I see it, you have two choices, two doors. One, you bend the knee, and join me in service, and you live. And two, you don’t.


 

Troy: You’re so full of s**t, lady. You think you’re a god? You’re not gods. You’re a big mistake. You’re a genetic mutation that would’ve died out if there hadn’t been a stinking hole for y’all to crawl into.
Audrey San Fernando: Door number two it is.


 

Bud Jablonski: Time for the tooth fairy.


 

Ralph Seeger: Ugh! Hair on your nipples!


 

Bud Jablonski: [referring to the vampire attacking him] Hurry up! Shoot it!
Seth: I don’t have my gun!
Bud Jablonski: Give me my shotgun!
Seth: I’m just an observer!
Bud Jablonski: Well, your going to be hors d’œuvre if you don’t give me that gun!


 

Seth: Look at me! Vampires just tried to kill me. You put a gun in my face, and now I just pi**ed my favorite f***ing suit!
Bud Jablonski: Hey. Hey. Relax. You did good in there. You did good in there. Besides, everybody pi**es themselves the first time.
Seth: Really?
Bud Jablonski: Yeah.
Seth: Did you?
Bud Jablonski: No, I didn’t. But listen, you did.

 

'We survive everything. See me fighting a bear, you pour honey on me.' - Bud Jablonski (Day Shift) Click To Tweet

 

Bud Jablonski: Here, take this. It’s my special blend, like a little skunk musk, okay? Now, get that on you, in the shower.
Seth: Oh, Jesus.
Bud Jablonski: On every inch of you, okay? Be extremely careful. Don’t get it in your eyes. And whatever you do, don’t get it in your butthole.
Seth: What happens in the butthole?
Bud Jablonski: I mean, it can’t kill you, but Jesus Christ.


 

Bud Jablonski: Feeling better?
Seth: Not really. I got a little bit of that yellow stuff in my butthole. It was so much worse than what you even described.
Bud Jablonski: Bet it was.

See more Day Shift Quotes


 

Seth: You almost got me killed yesterday.
Bud Jablonski: You almost got yourself killed yesterday. I told you, stay your punk-a** in the car. That’s why I work by myself.


 

Seth: So what’s on the agenda today?
Bud Jablonski: Like every day. Hunting vampires.


 

Bud Jablonski: Don’t you puke in here! Don’t touch nothing. Don’t leave your DNA.
Seth: I swallowed it.


 

Seth: You told me your secrets now. And I’m going to break protocol for you. So we’re like a team. We’re like partners, or whatever.
Bud Jablonski: I didn’t say partners.
Seth: Crockett and Tubbs.


 

Seth: [to Bud] An unproven weapon for my first real vampire fight. That’s wonderful. Thank you.


 

Mike Nazarian: I thought I smelled chlorine.
Bud Jablonski: Funny. Thought I smelled s**t.
Mike Nazarian: Who’s the cupcake?
Seth: Seth. I’m his union rep. But you can call me Cupcake, or whatever you prefer. I’m a big fan, by the way.
Bud Jablonski: Want to get a selfie for your Instagram?


 

Mike Nazarian: Bro, you got any more gum?
Seth: [as Diran tosses the gun from his mouth into Mike’s mouth] You always share that with your brother?
Mike Nazarian: We share everything.


 

Mike Nazarian: [as he shoots a vampire] Buckshot mouthwash, baby.
Diran Nazarian: Nice, bro. Yes.
Mike Nazarian: I got six.
Diran Nazarian: You got six, I got five. I’ll catch you up.


 

Diran Nazarian: What happened to you? You pi** your pants?
Seth: It’s kind of my thing.
Diran Nazarian: Bro.


 

Mike Nazarian: [to Seth] Listen, pee-pee pants, this is man’s world, not for little boy.
Bud Jablonski: I’m going to get you a Pamper.


 

Bud Jablonski: [to Seth] Pull these fangs. And why don’t you go to the bathroom and dry off your d**k.


 

Seth: I just keep thinking about how all those vampires we just killed used to be regular people.
Bud Jablonski: There you go. The old vampires-are-just-like-us routine, huh? But they’re not, Seth. You know what I see when I see a vamp? A big old dollar sign. Because all they are is murderers and liars.


 

Bud Jablonski: It ain’t Brad Pitt in a leather jacket and some blood raves. It’s not Eclipse. It’s not New Moon. It’s not Breaking Dawn Part One. It ain’t like that, alright?
Seth: Why do you know the names to all the specific Twilight films? And what’s your gripe with Breaking Dawn: Part 2? It’s the exciting conclusion of the whole Twilight Saga. Have you seen Part 2? Bella has her baby now! It’s insane.
Bud Jablonski: She had the baby?
Seth: Oh, I wish I was you! To experience that the first time. You’re in for a treat.


 

Bud Jablonski: I’m not exactly a pool cleaner.
Jocelyn Jablonski: Well, then what are you?
Bud Jablonski: I Hunt vampires.
Jocelyn Jablonski: What?


 

Jocelyn Jablonski: [to Bud] The reason I’m separated from the man that I love is because of vampires?


 

Audrey San Fernando: [referring to Paige] First, I’m going to turn her, and then I’m going to watch as she drinks your wife. I wish you could be there to see it, but I’m afraid someone’s having you for dinner.


 

Seth: Oh, I feel weird.
Bud Jablonski: Yeah, I bet you do.
Seth: What happened to me?
Bud Jablonski: Oh, just some bulls**t. You know how s**t go. But you probably want to check your teeth.


 

Bud Jablonski: How you feel?
Seth: Pretty horrified about the fact that I’m a vampire.
Bud Jablonski: Right. Right.
Seth: But also like, I don’t know, kind of amazing. Like my blood, it feels like it’s on fire.
Bud Jablonski: Like you had like a lot of energy drinks.
Seth: Oh, I can smell everything! Oh God, did I s**t myself this time?


 

Bud Jablonski: [after he cuts Seth’s head] I’m sorry, kid. I’m actually going to miss you, man, you know? It’s crazy how you get attached to somebody.


 

Seth: You cut my head off. I thought we were friends.
Bud Jablonski: You rushed me. It’s just reaction. That’s what I do. It’s in my blood. It’s like, you ever see Tyson? You don’t walk up on Tyson either.
Seth: Friendship is complicated, huh?
Bud Jablonski: Yeah, friendships are complicated.


 

Seth: Hey, I’m really sorry I tried to eat you.
Bud Jablonski: Hey, look, how about we not report this to Seeger until Monday, alright?
Seth: Seeger. S**t. Oh, what? You don’t think he’s going to notice? What, am I just supposed to wear turtlenecks from now on? I mean, I do look good in a T-neck, but that’s not sustainable.


 

Seth: Hey, Bud. I don’t feel so good. Could you hold my head for a little?


 

Seth: [as Bud tries to get him to drink blood] No, I’m pescatarian.


 

Bud Jablonski: You got too much energy right now. You fresh off some blood. I don’t want you to switch up on me and try to bite my kidneys out.
Seth: No, Bud, listen. They tortured me. Okay, they drank my blood. They cut my head off. I guess technically you cut my head off. But they turned me into this, okay?


 

Seth: It’s dark out. That’s like a suicide mission.
Bud Jablonski: Welcome to the m**therf***ing night shift.


 

Bud Jablonski: We survive everything. See me fighting a bear, you pour honey on me.


 

Paige Jablonski: I don’t know how all this works, but I know my husband, and he’s going to murder you.
Audrey San Fernando: Ex-husband.
Paige Jablonski: See, now you’re just being a b**ch.


 

Big John Elliott: This place ain’t creepy at all.
Bud Jablonski: Tell me about it.


 

Bud Jablonski: That’s how we do, baby. You know how we do. We bag them, and we tag them. That’s how we get it done.


 

Klaus: I’m not supposed to kill you yet. But you’ve been a real pain in the a**, so give me one good reason.
Bud Jablonski: Burn in hell.
Klaus: Good enough.


 

Bud Jablonski: I should’ve just got another job.


 

Audrey San Fernando: [to Bud, in Spanish] In the end, the Devil comes for everyone.


 

Bud Jablonski: They’re the good vampires. That’s my girl Heather. That’s my guy Seth.


 

Seth: Bud, got my first pair of fangs.
Bud Jablonski: That’s big money right there.
Seth: Guess what?
Bud Jablonski: What’s that?
Seth: I didn’t pee myself this time.
Bud Jablonski: Get out.
Heather: Vampires don’t pee or poop.


 

Jocelyn Jablonski: [referring to vampires] Do they really not pee or poop?
Paige Jablonski: Does that mean they’re full of s**t?
Bud Jablonski: Language!


 

Ralph Seeger: What are you, sick?
Seth: Pink eye. It’s when poo particles get in your eye.


 

Ralph Seeger: Yeah. I see what’s going on here. Loopholes. Think you’re smarter than me? Then you can probably spell “traitor”.
Seth: Sure. T-R-A-I-T-O-R. What was the point of that?


 

Ralph Seeger: Carol’s keeping her f***ing desk!
Seth: Good! She can have it. I’m a field man now! Mowing down vamps with my best friend Bud!


 

Seth: Hey, should I drink Carol?
Bud Jablonski: No, no. That’s a lot of cholesterol.
Seth: Right. Okay. I won’t go out of my way, but if like there’s a chance encounter outside her house at night or…


 

Bud Jablonski: I was thinking, what if we tried this whole, you know, stay on the same groove type thing. You know, me cooking breakfast. You know?
Jocelyn Jablonski: How about we take it one day at a time, but no more lies. After what we’ve seen tonight, there is no reason to lie. So I ask you a question, and you give me a straight answer.
Bud Jablonski: I can live under those terms, you know.


 

Big John Elliott: That’s what I love about LA. All the damn vampires.

 


 

Trailer:



Filed Under: Best Quotes

Primary Sidebar

Looking for Something?

Lists

Copyright © 2023 | All Rights Reserved | All images are copyright of their respective owners | Stock images by Depositphotos

  • About
  • Contact
  • Site Policies
  • Blog
  • Twitter
  • Facebook