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Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Kate McKinnon, John Krasinski, Vanessa Bayer, Natasha Lyonne, Diego Luna, Keanu Reeves, Marc Maron, Thomas Middleditch, Ben Schwartz
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Animated superhero comedy directed by Jared Stern and by Sam Levine. DC League of Super-Pets (2022) follows Krypto (Dwayne Johnson), who is Superman’s dog and best friend, sharing the same superpowers and fighting crime in Metropolis side by side. But when Superman and the rest of the Justice League are kidnapped, Krypto must convince a rag-tag shelter pack, Ace the hound (Kevin Hart), who becomes super strong, PB the pig (Vanessa Bayer), who can grow to giant size, Merton the turtle (Natasha Lyonne), who becomes super fast, and Chip the squirrel (Diego Luna), who gains electric powers, to master their own newfound powers and help him rescue the superheroes.
Our Favorite Quotes:'When you love somebody, and I mean, you really love them, you got to be willing to do anything for them. Even if that means letting them go.' - Ace (DC League of Super-Pets) Click To Tweet
Krypto: [as Superman is asleep, snoring] Alright, wake up, buddy. It is walk o’clock.
Lois Lane: [referring to the hotdog] And I got you one of these from 43rd Street. Which is like a full three blocks out of my way.
Superman: During rush hour? Wow, that’s like me flying to Mars.
Lois Lane: What? You can fly? I always thought the cape was just a cute accessory.
Superman: Oh. So you think I’m cute.
Lois Lane: I said the cape was cute.
Superman: You think I’m cute.
Krypto: [as he sees toy Batman] Squeezy Bruce!
Krypto: Pup, up and away!
Krypto: [sees Squeey Bruce in the tree trunk] I see you’ve retreated to your Batcave, but nobody can hide from the long snoot of justice.
Waffles: [to Foofy Dog] And then I says, “If you don’t want me rubbing my butt in the carpet, get hardwood floors.”
'You really should have made it harder to find you. Those glasses aren't fooling anyone. Moustache maybe, but not glasses.' - Lulu (DC League of Super-Pets) Click To Tweet
Foofy Dog: It’s Krypto the Superdog.
Krypto: Okay. You can have my pawtograph. Listen, I’m afraid I got to keep it to just one, or I’ll be signing all day.
Waffles: Mr. Outside-Underpants. He doesn’t want the toy. He’s trying to get rid of you.
Krypto: What? That’s ridiculous. Superman and I are inseparable. I’m his ride or die.
Waffles: [to Krypto] Same thing happened to me. Nancy got a fiancee, and it was all over. That’s French for, “Bye-bye, dog.”
Ace: Like clockwork, Carl will try to flirt with Patty.
Carl: Ooh! Is that new perfume?
Patty: It’s cat pee.
Ace: And have zero game.
Chip: [as Ace is trying to escape] What if the rescue lady catches you? And locks you in the back room? Where they only listen to smooth jazz.
'A little advice. Never test a guinea pig.' - Lulu (DC League of Super-Pets) Click To Tweet
PB: [to Ace] But don’t you want to get adopted and feel the warm embrace of a middle-aged person who lives alone?
Ace: It’s a hundred percent animal farm.
PB: That doesn’t sound ominous at all.
Ace: Lulu, whatever they tested on you in that lab, left you a few guineas short of a pig.
Lulu: You fear my brilliance. Recede into shadows. Recede into shadows. Maintain eye contact. Recede into shadows.
Krypto: What is new with you, fellow normal dog?
Corgi: I bit the FedEx guy the other day.
Krypto: Ah, fine job. Who was he working for? General Zod? The Legion of Doom?
Krypto: Of course! The federation of exes. Not to be trusted.
Corgi: What is taking my owner so long?
'It's not superpowers that make you a hero.' - Dog-El (DC League of Super-Pets) Click To Tweet
Ace: [as he collides with Krypto] Oh, man, that hurt.
Krypto: Yes. And that hurt me as well. Due to the fact that I feel pain as any ordinary canine would.
Krypto: Stop right there and cease your unlawful activities, dog I’ve never met.
Ace: What the heck are you talking about, man? You’re the same dog that was literally just behind me.
Krypto: Impossible. That dog wore glasses.
Ace: I should warn you, I’m one-eighth boxer!
Krypto: And seven-eighths Chihuahua.
Ace: Chihuahuas are vicious.
Ace: Oh, you think you’re so great, don’t you, Superdog? You think your dookie don’t stink.
Krypto: My dookie doesn’t stink.
Ace: Wait. Wait. Time out. Are you serious, right now?
Krypto: Yep. It actually smells like sandalwood. It’s borderline aromatherapy, if I’m being honest.
Ace: You ain’t normal, man.
'I'm fine. I was just hit by a car a little.' - Krypto 'You never forget your first time.' - Merton (DC League of Super-Pets) Click To Tweet
Krypto: [as he’s flushing the toilet floating mid-air] I can’t believe that shelter punk said I wasn’t normal. I’m a totally normal dog.
Aquaman: Thanks for building your stupid evil headquarters on the river. Very convenient for the water guy. I’m Aquaman!
Krypto: Oh, great. These jabronies.
Wonder Woman: [in her jet] Please fasten your safety belts. They are invisible.
Krypto: Yeah, none of this stuff is invisible. It’s really more transparent.
Lex Luthor: But I’m supposed to have superpowers!
Batman: They’re overrated.
'A hamster is a hacky sack. A hamster is a mouse that had too much for lunch.' - Lulu (DC League of Super-Pets) Click To Tweet
PB: Guys, what’s going on?
Lulu: Nothing, PB. Just the plan that you all called crazy turns out to be crazy good. You see, when I was back in the lab, there was this human. He was evil, sadistic, hot. And together we were two scientists searching for ultimate power. Of course, there were missteps along the way. The red kryptonite made my hair fall out. Luckily, I had the bone structure to pull it off.
Lulu: And we had a plan. Until Krypto the Superdog had to come and ruin it. Stupid name. Named after his planet. Oh, real creative.
PB: The orange kryptonite gave me powers too. This is my origin story. And my uncle didn’t even have to die.
PB: Right. Wonder Pig, still working on the name, is on it.
'You know what they say about dogs, don't you? We love unconditionally.' - Ace (DC League of Super-Pets) Click To Tweet
Ace: I should be a lot more dead right now, right?
PB: Oh, my gosh. The orange kryptonite gave you powers too!
Chip: You’re super strong! And your tail is now made of fire.
Ace: I’m sorry. My what is who?
Krypto: Alright. Thursday night TV night. Time for my favorite show with my bro in Metropo.
Superman: [uses his laser eyes to iron his shirt] Let me just iron that out. They should call me Iron Man.
Superman: [laughs] No.
Krypto: [to Superman] Well, look at you, all spiffy. Pretty dressed up for the British Bake Off. But you know what? It makes sense. This is the season finale.
Krypto: [as the door bell rings, sees it’s Lois] You have a date? On Bake Off night?
'I say this with love. You are all losers. You've always been losers, and you'll continue to be losers until the end of your loser lives.' - Lulu (DC League of Super-Pets) Click To Tweet
Krypto: [to Superman] Fine. I’ll watch the crusts crisp alone. Bad owner!
Lulu: Kal-El, son of Jor-El, I am Lulu, daughter of Cinnamon, and you will kneel before me.
Superman: [we see that Superman just hears her squeaking] Wait a minute. Aren’t you the hamster from the shelter?
Lulu: I am a guinea pig, and I said kneel!
Lulu: [to Superman] You really should have made it harder to find you. Those glasses aren’t fooling anyone. Moustache maybe, but not glasses.
Lois Lane: [as she sees Superman is in trouble] Why does this always happen on date night?
JLA Hotline: [as Lois calls Justice League] You’ve reached the Justice League emergency line. For Earth-One, press one. For Earth-Two, press two. For Earth-Three…
'You can't have justice without truth.' - Ace (DC League of Super-Pets) Click To Tweet
Lulu: [to Superman] A little advice. Never test a guinea pig. Okay?
Lulu: [to Krypto] You took me away from Lex, so now I’m taking Superman away from you. Oh, and don’t worry, this is only step one of my evil plan. There’s more.
Krypto: But how am I supposed to be a hero when I don’t have my powers?
Dog-El: It’s not superpowers that make you a hero, Krypto. That’s not your problem.
Krypto: Then what is it?
Dog-El: Your problem is you.
PB: Are you okay?
Krypto: I’m fine. I’m fine. I was just hit by a car a little.
Merton: You never forget your first time.
'A hamster is just a dollar store gerbil. A hamster is a chipmunk with nothing interesting going on fur-wise.' - Lulu (DC League of Super-Pets) Click To Tweet
Ace: Oh, of course! You’re that super dork who got me thrown back in the slammer. What was it? Creepo? Crisco? What’s your name?
PB: No. It’s Krypto the Superdog!
Krypto: When one has an abundance of power, they have a certain duty to use that power to…
Ace: [Krypto looks aside to see Ace peeing] Sorry. You were saying something?
Krypto: I was making an inspiring hero speech. How much did you have to drink?
Ace: I had two toilet bowls, and a bidet. A bidet too, which is crazy. I didn’t even know that was a thing. But it’s like a dog water fountain.
Krypto: You disgusting animal.
Krypto: I grew up on a farm. In a town called Smallville.
Merton: Now that sounds made-up.
Ace: Wait a minute. Is this blackmail? Are you blackmailing me?
Krypto: No. I’m just asking you for something, which I will reward you for by not revealing damaging information.
Ace: That is literally the definition of blackmail. Fine. We’ll help you get your dumb owner back. You got yourself a super team.
'Batman works alone. Except for Robin, and Alfred, Commissioner Gordon, Justice League, Batgirl, Batwoman, my IT crew, whoever Morgan Freeman played.' - Batman (DC League of Super-Pets) Click To Tweet
Lulu: Terrifying villains, deadly assassins, I have come to recruit you for a siege
of murderous savagery! My fellow, furrier, guinea pigs. I have sought you out because you are apex predators. Gods amongst men! Okay, look. Pig to pig, I need your help, because my owner has gotten himself into a bit of a pickle.
Lulu: [referring to Lex] That’s my best friend. And mentor. Best friend and mentor.